53 lines
2.6 KiB
Plaintext
53 lines
2.6 KiB
Plaintext
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Dewey, Cheatham, and Screw
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Investment Mavens
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43 Park Row
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New York, N.Y. 000001
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CONFIDENTIAL PRIVATE OFFERING MEMORANDUM
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Dear Client;
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I have been looking around for a really good sound business deal that will not
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only be a good investment but will also give some tax benefits. As you can
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imagine, there are few opportunities around that give real profit potential and
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also may be classified as conservative, sound investments.
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Fortunately, I have found a real "sleeper" I though I would mention to you
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because (although conservative) it looks like it will make a lot of money with
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very little invested cash.
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A friend of mine is opening a large cat ranch near Karmasillo, Mexico. It is
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our purpose to start small; just one million cats. Cat skins can be sold for
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about 20 cents for the white ones and up to 40 cents for the black. Each cat
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averages about 12 kittens a year; this will give up about 12 million cat skins
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the first year, at an average of around 32 cents, making our revenue about $3
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million a year. This averages $10,000 a day excluding Sundays and holidays.
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A good Mexican cat person can skin about 50 cats a day. He or she gets $3.15 a
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day. It will only take 663 people to operate the ranch, so the net profit will
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be more than $8200 per day.
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The cats will be feed exclusively on rats. We will start a rat ranch adjacent
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to our cat farm. Here is where the first year tax break really comes in.
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Because we will be utilizing the rats to feed the cats, we can claim the
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expense of the entire first batch of rats purchased during 1985. Rats multiply
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about times faster then cats do. If we start with a million rats at a nickel
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each, we will have four rats per cat per day and a whopping $50,000 1987 tax
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deduction.
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Now here's the real innovation. The rats will be fed on the carcasses of the
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cats we skin. This will give each rat one quarter of a cat. You can see by this
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that the business is a clean, self-supporting operation: automatic throughout.
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The cats will eat the rats, the rats will eat the cats, and we will get the
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skins and the tax benefits. Incidentally, the ecologists think it's great.
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Eventually, we hope to cross the cats with snakes. Snake skin themselves twice
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a year. This will save the labour costs of skinning and will also give us the
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yield of two skins for one cat.
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Let me know as soon as possible if you are interested. Naturally, we want to
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keep this deal limited to the fewest investors possible.
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Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
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