95 lines
4.4 KiB
Plaintext
95 lines
4.4 KiB
Plaintext
|
A BASICALLY BAD DAY
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I don't remember the last bad day I had, except that I frowned at it and shook
|
|||
|
|
my finger, saying "BAD! Bad Day!"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
That spate of strong language made the day cower in the corner and stay out of
|
|||
|
|
my way. That angered me even more, since it had already ruined things. The
|
|||
|
|
least it could have done would have been to continue wreaking havoc on my life
|
|||
|
|
for the full length of the day. You know, sunrise to sunset.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I went along most cheerily for years until today when it came up at me with a
|
|||
|
|
vengeful force that made me want to cower in the corner. This time, there was
|
|||
|
|
no finger wagging -- I was in a mean enough mood to fight it to the bitter end.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Which is where I am now--at a sleazy bar called the "Bitter End."(I'm using
|
|||
|
|
the pay phone and my portable terminal. The phone booth stinks of either old
|
|||
|
|
beer, sour beer or, perhaps, beer which has comingled with someone's gastric
|
|||
|
|
juices.)
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
This place, "Bitter End," is a great place to go after having had a bad day.
|
|||
|
|
Everyone is equally sour. The drinks -- even non-alchoholic ones -- are sort of
|
|||
|
|
turpid. The bartender and waitress have faces so sulky and grouchful that
|
|||
|
|
patrons simply stare blankly at the floor or the bar or a tabletop and mumble
|
|||
|
|
slurred phonemes.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
The jukebox is broken so a tinny radio adds to the torture of everyone's bad
|
|||
|
|
day. The floors are filthy; the bathrooms are filthy; the language is filthy;
|
|||
|
|
even the cocktail napkins are filthy. Such a place, this is.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
My bad day started when I was awakened by my clock-radio-telephone. The alarm
|
|||
|
|
kicked the radio into an obnoxious news program and the phone buzzed stridently
|
|||
|
|
at 5 a.m. I struggled to answer, managing to damage the radio and scare away
|
|||
|
|
whoever it was who called. I struggled up to find I had captured a nasty summer
|
|||
|
|
cold overnight. The cat was yowling.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I yelled at the cat, went to make coffee of which there was enough for one
|
|||
|
|
cup. The shower refused to work and my nose started bleeding.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I scrambled out of the house to find the interior of the car soaking wet from
|
|||
|
|
an overnight rain. I ran out of gas a block from home. (Getting gas only
|
|||
|
|
delayed me a few minutes, since I'm lucky enough to live two blocks away from a
|
|||
|
|
gas station.)
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I arrived at work. The phone rang off the hook for a solid hour and none of
|
|||
|
|
my help arrived on time -- owing to the fact that this happened on July 5th.
|
|||
|
|
Everyone knows what it's like to get employees to work on time the day after a
|
|||
|
|
holiday.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I was sniveling so freely that I could have just put a bucket under my nose,
|
|||
|
|
but I probably would have drowned in it.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
All of the elements of a bad day had occurred and it wasn't even 9 a.m. yet!
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I won't bore you with the rest of the details, other than to mention that I
|
|||
|
|
lost my set of keys to everything I hold near and dear sometime before lunch,
|
|||
|
|
and my awfully bad-tempered cat had sneaked into the car and spent the day
|
|||
|
|
bothering me everywhere I went, or tried to go.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
So... Here I am at the "Bitter End." I'm smart enough not to have a drink. I
|
|||
|
|
come here merely to get some perspective on what bad days are, and to look
|
|||
|
|
voyeuristically at other poor souls who are also having one--well, two. They
|
|||
|
|
are having a bad day AND a drink.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
There's a drunk guy banging on the door of this phone booth. He's uttering
|
|||
|
|
slurred phonemes at me with a look of crisp, acute rage. I think he's
|
|||
|
|
threatening me. Wait a sec:
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
<creak> Whaddya want, buster?
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Get offa the phone jerk!
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
No! I'm on long-distance!
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I'm gonna pullyerbutt outta there fatface! <slurred man reaches in slow
|
|||
|
|
motion for my tangible self>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
<I resist; push him back. He flails out of control, smashing a couple of
|
|||
|
|
tables.> Oh, oh....This is STILL a bad day!
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
<....later.....>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I've just gotten home from the E/R where a guy who thought he was Elliott
|
|||
|
|
Gould decided to joke with me about the stitches he was lacing across my right
|
|||
|
|
set of knuckles -- those very knuckles which saved my life by stopping a hurled
|
|||
|
|
beer bottle.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I'm feeling a little better now, knowing that the day is clearly almost over
|
|||
|
|
with. In a few moments, I will be in bed. Safe. I'll sleep this day away and
|
|||
|
|
tomorrow will be----
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
<Kerr-ASSSHHH!> ;;System crash! <shriek! shriek!> DIVE! DIVE! <gurgle>
|
|||
|
|
<click. Buzzzz.> HOW YA' DOING GUYS AN' GALS? THIS IS OL' JOHNNY DAYBREAK, THE
|
|||
|
|
BREAKFAST FLAKE COMIN' AT YA' TWICE AS LOUD AS--- <Thwack!> <Zzzzzzz.>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|