62 lines
2.1 KiB
Plaintext
62 lines
2.1 KiB
Plaintext
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REAL PROGRAMMERS
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REAL PROGRAMMERS DON'T WRITE SPEC -- USERS SHOULD CONSIDER
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THEMSELVES LUCKY TO GET ANY PROGRAMS AT ALL AND TAKE WHAT THEY GET.
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REAL PROGRAMMERS DON'T COMMENT THEIR CODE. IF IT WAS HARD TO WRITE,
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IT SHOULD BE HARD TO READ.
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REAL PROGRAMMERS DON'T WRITE APPLICATION PROGRAMS, THEY PROGRAM
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RIGHT DOWN ON THE BARE METAL. APPLICATION PROGRAMMING IS FOR FEEBS
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WHO CAN'T DO SYSTEM PROGRAMMING.
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REAL PROGRAMMERS DON'T EAT QUICHE. THEY EAT TWINKIES, AND SZECHWAN
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FOOD.
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REAL PROGRAMMERS DON'T WRITE IN COBOL. COBOL IS FOR WIMPY
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APPLICATION PROGRAMMERS.
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REAL PROGRAMMERS PROGRAMS NEVER WORK RIGHT THE FIRST TIME. BUT IF
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YOU THROW THEM ON THE MACHINE THEY CAN BE PATCHED INTO WORKING ONLY
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A FEW 30-HOUR DEBUGGING SESSIONS.
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REAL PROGRAMMERS DON'T WRITE IN FORTRAN. FORTRAN IS FOR PIPE STRESS
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FREAKS AND CRYSTALLOGRAPHY WEENIES.
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REAL PROGRAMMERS NEVER WORK 0 TO 5. IF ANY REAL PROGRAMMERS ARE
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AROUND AT 9 AM, IT'S BECAUSE THEY WERE UP ALL NIGHT.
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REAL PROGRAMMERS DON'T WRITE IN BASIC. ACTUALLY, NO PROGRAMMERS
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WRITE IN BASIC, AFTER THE AGE OF 12.
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REAL PROGRAMMERS DON'T WRITE IN PL/I. PL/I IS FOR PROGRAMMERS WHO
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CAN'T DECIDE WHETHER TO WRITE IN COBOL OR FORTRAN.
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REAL PROGRAMMERS DON'T WRITE IN APL. ANY FOOL CAN BE OBSCURE IN APL.
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REAL PROGRAMMERS DON'T PLAY TENNIS, OR ANY OTHER SPORT THAT REQUIRES
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YOU TO CHANGE CLOTHES. MOUNTING CLIMBING IS OK, AND REAL PROGRAMMERS
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WEAR THEIR CLIMBING BOOTS TO WORK IN CASE A MOUNTAIN SHOULD SUDDENLY
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SPRING UP IN THEN MIDDLE OF THEN MACHINE ROOM.
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REAL PROGRAMMERS DON'T DOCUMENT. DOCUMENTATION IS FOR SIMPS WHO CAN'T
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READ THE LISTINGS OR THEN OBJECT DECK.
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REAL PROGRAMMERS DON'T WRITE IN PASCAL, OR BLISS, OR ADA, OR ANY OF
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THOSE PINKO COMPUTER SCIENCE LANGUAGES. STRONG TYPING IS FOR PEOPLE
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WITH WEAK MEMORIES.
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REAL PROGRAMMERS KNOW BETTER THAN THE USERS WHAT THEY NEED.
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REAL PROGRAMMERS THINK STRUCTURED PROGRAMMING IS A COMMUNIST PLOT.
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REAL PROGRAMMERS DON'T USE SCHEDULES. SCHEDULES ARE FOR MANAGER'S
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TOADIES. REAL PROGRAMMERS LIKE TO KEEP THEIR MANAGERS IN SUSPENSE.
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REAL PROGRAMMERS THINK BETTER WHEN PLAYING ADVENTURE.
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