208 lines
6.9 KiB
Plaintext
208 lines
6.9 KiB
Plaintext
|
From montys@tekigm2.MEN.TEK.COM Tue Sep 26 18:27:11 1989
|
|||
|
|
From: montys@tekigm2.MEN.TEK.COM (MONTY SMITH)
|
|||
|
|
Subject: Canonical List of Sorority Girl Jokes
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Mandatory warning to all those latent women-haters who are trying to
|
|||
|
|
learn to deal with their problem:
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
PLEASE BEWARE!!
|
|||
|
|
The following posting will cause thousands of women to be beaten,
|
|||
|
|
burned and killed. This kind of trash only perpetuates hatred of
|
|||
|
|
women and Greek letters! Do not read this!! I repeat: DO NOT READ
|
|||
|
|
THIS!!!
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
And now, a note for the rest of us:
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Back by popular demand!!!
|
|||
|
|
For those hundreds, nay, thousands of net-oids who DEMANDED that I
|
|||
|
|
repost this, here it is! Please remember to use the command:
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"w sorority"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
to save it into a file. Enjoy!
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
(ed. note: Am I missing any? Please e-mail any additions to my as I
|
|||
|
|
may not catch them if they are posted.)
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
THE CANONICAL LIST OF SORORITY GIRL JOKES
|
|||
|
|
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What does a sorority girl put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
|
|||
|
|
Her ankles.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What is the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
|
|||
|
|
You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball.
|
|||
|
|
You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.
|
|||
|
|
You can't fit a sorority girl inside a bowling ball.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
How are a sorority girl and a bowling ball alike?
|
|||
|
|
You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in
|
|||
|
|
the gutter and they always come back for more.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What is the difference between sorority girls and hookers ?
|
|||
|
|
Sorority girls cost less per score.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What is the difference between a sorority girl and an elephant?
|
|||
|
|
About 40 lbs.
|
|||
|
|
How do you equalize the two?
|
|||
|
|
Feed the elephant.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What's the first thing a sorority girl does in the morning?
|
|||
|
|
Introduce herself.
|
|||
|
|
Walks home.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What's the difference between a sorority girl and the Titanic?
|
|||
|
|
Only 1500 went down on the Titanic.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
How can you tell if a sorority girl has achieved orgasm?
|
|||
|
|
She drops her nail file.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What's a sorority girl's favorite wine?
|
|||
|
|
"Daaadddy, I want to go to mi-ammmmi."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What do you get when you cross a sorority girl with an ape?
|
|||
|
|
Don't know. There is only so much an ape can be forced to do...
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Why is a sorority girl like a door knob?
|
|||
|
|
'Cause everyone gets a turn.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
How do you get a sorority girl in your bed?
|
|||
|
|
Grease her hips so she'll fit through the door and throw a twinkie on
|
|||
|
|
the bed.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Did you hear about the new sorority girl doll?
|
|||
|
|
You put a ring on her finger and her hips expand.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
A sorority girl was hitch-hiking along an empty desert highway. After
|
|||
|
|
five or six cars had passed her without even slowing down, she decided she
|
|||
|
|
really wanted out of there. She decided the quickest way to get someone's
|
|||
|
|
gang. The gang spotted her, and acted quickly. They drug her off into
|
|||
|
|
a side canyon and gang-dressed her.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What's the difference between sorority girls and garbage?
|
|||
|
|
Garbage gets taken out once a week.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What do you call 100 sorority girls sun-bathing on a beach in Cuba?
|
|||
|
|
Bay of Pigs.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What do you call a sorority girl hang-glider festival?
|
|||
|
|
Multiple total eclipses.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What is a sorority girl's mating call...
|
|||
|
|
"I'm soooo drunk, I'm sooooo drunk!"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What is the difference between a sorority girl and a toilet?
|
|||
|
|
After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What do you get when cross a lawyer with a sorority girl??
|
|||
|
|
Nothing. There are some things a sorority girl won't do.
|
|||
|
|
I don't know, but it sure enjoys screwing people.
|
|||
|
|
I don't know, but when it sucks your cock, it does't stop until it
|
|||
|
|
gets blood.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
1) Tri Delts; I'm sure everyone else has.
|
|||
|
|
2) If your date won't, Tri Delts.
|
|||
|
|
3) Once you've tried everyone else, Tri Delts.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
and
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
2) __________ __________
|
|||
|
|
\ / /\ \ /
|
|||
|
|
\ / / \ \ /
|
|||
|
|
\ / / \ \ /
|
|||
|
|
\ / / \ \ /
|
|||
|
|
\/ /________\ \/
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Tri Delts: Two out of three go down.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What do fraternity boys call hemorrhoids ?
|
|||
|
|
Speed bumps.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a dog ?
|
|||
|
|
Drivers will swerve to miss the dog.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb?
|
|||
|
|
Two, one to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call Daaaaddy.
|
|||
|
|
7, one to change it and six to go out and buy Tab (or diet Coke).
|
|||
|
|
65, 1 to do it and 64 to sing and clap.
|
|||
|
|
One. She holds on to it and the world revolves around her.
|
|||
|
|
Six. One to screw it in and five to make the T-shirts.
|
|||
|
|
Ten. Nine to stand around scratching their heads, and one to
|
|||
|
|
get her boyfriend to do it.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Why is a sorority girl like railroad tracks?
|
|||
|
|
She's been laid all over the country.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What three words will a sorority girl never hear?
|
|||
|
|
"Attention K-mart shoppers"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Why does a sorority girl close her eyes during sex?
|
|||
|
|
So she can fantasize about shopping.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What is a sorority girl's favorite sexual position?
|
|||
|
|
Facing Bloomingdale's.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What's the difference between Jell-o and a sorority girl?
|
|||
|
|
Jell-o wiggles when you eat it.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What do you call a sorority girl's waterbed?
|
|||
|
|
The Dead Sea (Lake Placid is also OK).
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
How can you tell if a sorority girl's a nymphomaniac?
|
|||
|
|
She'll make love the same day she has her hair done.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What's a sorority girl's idea of natural childbirth?
|
|||
|
|
No makeup.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a barracuda?
|
|||
|
|
Nail polish.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
How do you prevent a sorority girl from having sex?
|
|||
|
|
Marry her.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Whats the difference between a sorority girl and a broom closet?
|
|||
|
|
Only 2 men fit inside a broom closet at once
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What's the difference between a telephone booth and a sorority girl?
|
|||
|
|
You don't need a quarter for the sorority girl.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What's the difference between a sorority and a circus?
|
|||
|
|
A circus is a cunning array of stunts.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What's the difference between a sorority girl and garbage?
|
|||
|
|
Garbage smells better.
|
|||
|
|
Sorority girl attract more flies.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What' the difference between a sorority girl and a vacuum cleaner?
|
|||
|
|
Nothing. They both suck.
|
|||
|
|
You can buy a new vacuum when you get sick of it.
|
|||
|
|
You can buy a new vacuum when it no longer sucks.
|
|||
|
|
When a vacuum cleaner is full of sh*t, its easy to dump the old bag.
|
|||
|
|
A vacuum cleaner can't suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
How do you get four sorority girls on one chair?
|
|||
|
|
Tell them there's a rich guy sitting on it.
|
|||
|
|
Turn the chair upside down and put one sorority girl on each leg.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What's the difference between a tribe of sly pygmies and a
|
|||
|
|
sorority girl track team?
|
|||
|
|
The tribe of sly pygmies is a bunch of cunning runts.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What is the difference between a sorority girl and a rooster?
|
|||
|
|
In the morning a rooster says "cock-a-doodle-doo", while a
|
|||
|
|
sorority girl says "any-cock'll-do"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What do you call 24 sorority girls walking down the street?
|
|||
|
|
A case of Schlitz.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What's the difference between a sorority girl and parsely?
|
|||
|
|
You don't eat parsely.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Why are a sorority girl and a tampon similar?
|
|||
|
|
They are both stuck up cunts.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What does a frat boy say to a girl that refuses him?
|
|||
|
|
"Have another beer."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|