77 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
77 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
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REAL STORIES OF THE NON-TECHNICALLY INCLINED (Jack Clarey)
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************************************************************
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I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back into
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itself and for the life of them could not understand why their
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computer would not turn on.
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1st Person: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"
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2nd Person: "A little. What's wrong?"
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1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say
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all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again,
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and the same thing happened."
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2nd Person: "How did you load the sheet?"
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1st Person: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone
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else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient would
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open it and read it."
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I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do
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you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have
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replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get
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into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience
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store) would have batteries for this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have
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an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered,
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handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually
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unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check
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about the batteries . . . it's a long walk."
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Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"
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Person: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
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Tech Support: "Well?"
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Person: "How do I know when it's ready?"
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My friend called his insurance company to tell them to change his
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address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call asked
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where Vermont was. As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said,
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"Look, I'm not stupid or anything, but what state is it in?"
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Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day
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he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of
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typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," she
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told him. With that, the intern took the last remaining blank piece of
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paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank
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copies.
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This person had a broken lamp which he wanted to discard.
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Unfortunately,
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the power cord ran under his refrigerator, making it impossible to move
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the lamp while the cord was attached. He decided to cut the cord,
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since the lamp was unusable anyway. He didn't remember to unplug
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it first. I found him in the hallway rolling back and forth.
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I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motor home was
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towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
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repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra from the
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movie "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told
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me that the driver had set the cruise control, then went in back to
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make a sandwich.
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I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who
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answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?"
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I rented a movie from Blockbuster. Before the movie begins a message
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comes on the screen saying, "This movie has been altered to fit
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your television screen." Comment from person: "How do they know
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what size screen I have?"
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