60 lines
3.1 KiB
Plaintext
60 lines
3.1 KiB
Plaintext
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From robin@ccb.ucsf.EDU Fri Apr 14 08:30:25 1989
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From: robin@ccb.ucsf.EDU (Robin Colgrove)
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Subject: docs and ducks
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Reply-Path: uunet!ccb.ucsf.EDU!robin
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Every field has its stories depicting the contrasting subcultures
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within the field. Among MD's this means surgeons vs internists vs
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pathologists vs psychiatrists. "We heal with steel!"
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"When in doubt, cut it out!", "Surgery is the ideal therapy:
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it separates the disease from the patient.", and "Never let the
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skin come between you and the diagnosis!" are just a few
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of the slogans that give a taste of the essence of surg culture.
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The surgeons like to parody the more medically oriented folks
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(like yours truly) by stroking imaginary beards and declaiming
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"Hmmmm, perhaps we should raise the calcium. Or maybe lower
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the magnesium. On the other hand, it could be that a trial of
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corticosteroids would be warranted. I think I'll go back to my
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lab, read a few more articles and think about this some more." etc.
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Anyway, you've all heard the generic jokes about " N X's,
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an X1, an X2,..., and an XN all go together to perform activity Y"
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My favortie of these for docs is "The hospital duck hunt" story.
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To wit:
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The staff of St. Elsewhere (an old medical euphemism for some
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unspecified hospital not as good as yours) go for a duck shoot
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with the departments of medicine, surgery, pathology and
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psychiatry all in differents boats in different parts of the marsh.
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In the early morning calm, a rustle of wings suddenly erupts near
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the medicine boats. "A sonological pattern consistent with the
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aerial movement of ducks!" shouts the chief resident. "But wait,
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replies the attending physician. Ducks may very well occupy the
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top of the differential diagnosis but this pattern is by no means
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pathognomonic. One must also keep in mind geese, swans, herons,
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egrets, radio controlled model aircraft with engine difficulty,
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digital dolby recordings of actual water fowl flight, not to mention..."
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Well of course the ducks are long past by this point and heading over
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the psychiatrist's boats. They, however, are to engrossed in their
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own discussions to notice. "What do you suppose one should make
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of this highly suspect activity whereby a largely male group
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competing for intra-group dominance ventures into the extremely
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womblike marsh brandishing long, incredibly phallic weaponry
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and transferring their own feelings of impotent rage into
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a symbolic penetration of the elusive, feminine flight motif..."
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The ducks pass, amused but unharmed. It it their misfortune then
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to pass nearby the surgery staff who at the first flutter of sound
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grab their rifles and fill the air with lead shot and smoke, removing
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everything down to the last dragonfly from the dawning, rose-colored
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sky. "Hey, fellas!", the chief of surgery shouts over to the
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pathologist's boats. "Go see if those things were ducks, will ya!?"
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--
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Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.UUCP
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Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I will reply, mailers willing.
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Remember: Don't send to me and rec.humor at the same time. Try to wait.
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