86 lines
3.1 KiB
Plaintext
86 lines
3.1 KiB
Plaintext
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Excuses, Excuses!
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"My son is under the doctor's care and should not take P.E. today," wrote a
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parent. "Please execute him."
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"Please excuse Mary for being absent," wrote another parent. "She was sick
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and I had her shot."
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These drastic measures were inadvertently taken in notes written by parents
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to excuse their children's absences from school.
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In all fairness to pupils throughout the land, I must point out that
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slaughtering the English language is a practice that is not limited opnly to
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students. An astonishing number of grownups blithely go about murdering the
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King's English without any inkling that they are committing a serious crime.
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If you think that today's students aren't learning all they should, check
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out some of the writing miscreated by their moms and dads. the following are
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actual excuse notes received by teachers.
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Dear School:
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Please eckuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32,
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and also 33.
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Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
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Pleazse excuse Roland from P.E. for a few day. Yesterday he fell out of
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a tree and misplaced his hip.
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John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.
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Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was
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hurt in the growing part.
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Mary could not come to school because she has been bothered by very
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close veins.
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Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
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Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
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Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (several
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mispellings of diarrhea crossed out) the shits.
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Please excuse Tom for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his
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boots leak.
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Irving was absent this morning because he missed his bust.
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Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
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I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because
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I don't know what size she wear.
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Please excuse Harriet for missing school yesterday. We forget to
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get the Sunday paper off the porch. and when we found it Monday,
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we thought it was Sunday.
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Please excuse my son's tardiness. I forgot to wake him up and I did not
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find him till I started making the beds.
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Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend a
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funeral.
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My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent the
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weekend with the Marine's.
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Please excuse Mary from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with
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gramps.
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Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
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Please excuse Burma, she had been sick and under the doctor.
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Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat,
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headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore
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throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't
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the berst either, sore throat and fever. There must be the flu going
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around school, her father even got hot last night.
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