51 lines
2.0 KiB
Groff
51 lines
2.0 KiB
Groff
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From: bp@thedog.cis.ufl.edu (Brian Pane)
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Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
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Subject: What language is afoot?
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Date: 20 Jun 90 10:30:07 GMT
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How to Determine Which Programming Language You're Using:
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The proliferation of modern programming languages which seem to have
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stolen countless features from each other sometimes makes it difficult to
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remember which language you're using. This guide is offered as a public
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service to help programmers in such dilemmas.
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C: You shoot yourself in the foot.
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Assembly: You crash the OS and overwrite the root disk. The system
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administrator arrives and shoots you in the foot. After
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a moment of contemplation, the administrator shoots himself
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in the foot and then hops around the room rabidly shooting
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at everyone in sight.
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C++: You accidently create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot
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them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical care
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is impossible since you can't tell which are bitwise copies
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and which are just pointing at others and saying, "that's
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me, over there."
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Ada: If you are dumb enough to actually use this language, the
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United States Department of Defense will kidnap you,
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stand you up in front of a firing squad, and tell the
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soldiers, "Shoot at his feet."
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Modula/2: After realizing that you can't actually accomplish anything
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in the language, you shoot yourself in the head.
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sh,
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csh,etc.: You can't remember the syntax for anything, so you spend five hours
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reading man pages before giving up. You then shoot the computer
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and switch to C.
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Smalltalk: You spend so much time playing with the graphics and windowing
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system that your boss shoots you in the foot, takes away your
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workstation, and makes you develop in COBOL on a character
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terminal.
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APL: You hear a gunshot, and there's a hole in your foot, but you
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don't remember enough linear algebra to understand what the
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hell happened.
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