127 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
127 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
|
______________________________________________________
|
|||
|
|
\ \
|
|||
|
|
\ The Incomplete and Abridged Computer Term Lexicon \
|
|||
|
|
\ \
|
|||
|
|
\ Typed in by: \
|
|||
|
|
\ \
|
|||
|
|
\ Bill The Cat \
|
|||
|
|
\ \
|
|||
|
|
\ Taken from the August 1984 issue of "Datalink" \
|
|||
|
|
\_____________________________________________________\
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Analog: Hors d'oeuvre, usually made from cheese and covered with crushed
|
|||
|
|
nuts. Served at all staff parties.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Apple: Typically, a device used to seduce men. Usually equipped with display
|
|||
|
|
screens and/or worms.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Bar chart: A list of places to go when it's Miller time.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Binary: Possessing the ability to have friends of both sexes.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Bipolar: Refers to someone who has homes in Gnome, Alaska and Buffalo, New
|
|||
|
|
York.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Bit: Similar to a nibble. Commonly eight nibbles to a mouthful. See "byte."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
BPI: A 1960s term used to describe unmentionable parts of the anatomy, as in
|
|||
|
|
"you bet your bpi".
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Bubble memory: A derogatory term, usually referring to a person's
|
|||
|
|
intelligence. See also "vacuum tube."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Bug: Small living things that small living boys throw on small living girls.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Byte: A mouthful, as in "How many bytes in a Big Mac?"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Cassette: A very small petite cass--usually achieved through exercise.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
CPU: A juvenile way of telling your dog he missed the paper.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Character density: The number of very weird people in the office.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Chip: Any number of small crunchy objects often served with onion dip.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Closed loop: A method of execution no longer in vogue except in Iran.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Code: Virus lasting about three to five days, accompanied by sore throat,
|
|||
|
|
runny nose and fever.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Command: Statement presented by a human and accepted by a computer in such a
|
|||
|
|
manner as to make the human feel as if he is in control.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Compile: A heap of decomposing vegetable matter.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Conversational mode: Describes the typical office the day after a major
|
|||
|
|
sporting event.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
CRT: A movie about a little alien who forgets his telephone number and must
|
|||
|
|
write home.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Cursor: An expert in four-letter words.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Debug: The act of placing shoe lether against a small creeping creature.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Downtime: Coffee breaks, lunch, or Friday mentality in the office.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Dump: The EPA's answer to health.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Error: Something only humans can commit.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
FIFO: Common name for a dog.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
GIGO: A movie industry acronym referring to the numerous "Gidget Goes..."
|
|||
|
|
movies, i.e. GIGO Hawaii, GIGO surfing, etc.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Hardware: Typically boots, leather, and chains. Contrast with software.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Interface: The opposite of "Getouttamyface."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
K: A term used in employment ads to disguise how much they are really willing
|
|||
|
|
to pay.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Megahertz: A very large car rental company.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Modem: A contraction. As in "Give me some modem cookies."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Network: The occupation of a fisherman.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
On line: A statement shouted at tennis judges in response to serves being
|
|||
|
|
called out.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Output: What people who talk backwards do with their cat.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Program: What commercials try to do to us.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
RAM: A male sheep.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Real time: Here nad now, as opposed to fake time, which only occurs there and
|
|||
|
|
then.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
ROM: A RAM after a delicate operation.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Semi-conductor: A person hired to lead an orchestra before he has graduated
|
|||
|
|
from director's school.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Software: Typically silk nighties, nylons, garter belts. Contrast with
|
|||
|
|
hardware.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Terminal: What most people have to be before consenting to see a doctor.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Transister: A sibling, opposite of transbrother.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Vacuum type: A derogatory term. See "bubble memory."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
_________
|
|||
|
|
| |
|
|||
|
|
| The End |
|
|||
|
|
|_________|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Have a nice day!
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
|
|||
|
|
|