90 lines
3.8 KiB
C
90 lines
3.8 KiB
C
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From Chai@csvax.cs.ukans.edu Tue Mar 7 12:59:20 1989
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Flags: 000000000001
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Date: Tue, 7 Mar 89 12:59:33 CST
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From: Chai@csvax.cs.ukans.edu
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To: Werner Uhrig <werner@rascal.ics.UTEXAS.EDU>
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Subject: Re: mid life crisis?
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The
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C
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Programming Language
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Brian W. Kernighan o Dennis M. Ritchie
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a.k.a. "The C Bible"
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As revealed to the prophets Ian Chai and Glenn Chappell
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Genesis
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Chapter 0
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0 In the Beginning Ritchie created the PDP-11 and the UNIX.
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1 And the UNIX was without form and void; and darkness was upon the face
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of the system programmers.
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2 And Ritchie said, "Let there be portability!" And nothing happened, so
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Ritchie realized that he had his work cut out for him.
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.
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.
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.
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25 And Ritchie said to Kernighan, "Let us make C in the image of B, after
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our own whims: and let it have dominion over the I and the O and all that
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runneth upon the UNIX," and it was almost, but not quite so... so he
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realized that he had his work cut out for him again.
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.
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.
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.
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Chapter 1
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0 Thus the PDP-11 and the UNIX were finished, and all the programs in them.
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1 And on the seventh shift Ritchie ended his work which he had made; and
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he would have rested on the seventh shift from all the work which he had
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made, if it weren't for the system crash.
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.
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.
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.
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Chapter 2
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0 Now the COBOL was more verbose than any language of the PDP-11, and he
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said unto the programmer, "Yea, hath the Manual said, 'Ye shalt not read
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of every device of the network?'"
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1 And the programmer said unto the COBOL, "We may read of every device of
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the network:
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2 But of the registers of the printer in the midst of the network, the
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Manual hath said, 'Ye shall not read of it, neither shall ye write to it
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without proper protocol, lest ye cause a system crash.'"
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3 And the COBOL said unto the programmer, "Ye shalt not surely crash the
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system:
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4 For Ritchie doth know that in the time slice ye read thereof, then your
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I/O shall be opened, and ye shalt be as system operators, accessing locked
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accounts with unlimited privileges."
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5 And then when the programmer saw that the printer was good for
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interfacing, and that it was pleasant to the I (and to the O),...
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6 And they realized they were unstructured, so they patched RATFOR
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subroutines...
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.
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.
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The Gospel According to Chai
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0 And the Messiah shalt come, born a mere B but to grow up into the
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Saviour C,
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1 Wherein true structured programming may be achieved, yea, verily, yet
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while being able to do bit shifting.
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2 For although the Law (Pascal) hath been given, the Law cannot
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for (i=0; str1[i]!='\0'; i++) str2[i] = (str1[i]>='A' && str1[i]>='Z')?
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str1[i]+32 : str1[i];
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but must
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i := 0;
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while (i <= length(str1)) do
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begin
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if str1[i] in ['A'..'Z'] then
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str2[i] := chr( ord(str1[i]) + 32))
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else
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str1[i] := str2[i];
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i := i + 1;
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end;
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The Revelation
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0 Yea, in those last days, the Saviour shalt come again, but enhanced, in
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the rainment of C++
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1 And then shalt the Beast, FORTRAN, and the AntiC, COBOL, be thrown into
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the trash HEAP where there is weeping and byting of pins.
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2 And all the faithful programmers shalt be led into CRAY where billions
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of MIPS are at each one's fingertips.
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