124 lines
4.2 KiB
Plaintext
124 lines
4.2 KiB
Plaintext
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ARE YOU AN INTERNET NERD?
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This quiz is dedicated to all of those people who find themselves
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constantly roaming the net. Do you leave yourself logged in
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twenty-four hours a day, even when you're not home? Is your
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wpm typing speed higher than your IQ? Are you having trouble seeing
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things at distances greater than 2 feet? Yes, YOU. You know who
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you are.
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Ok... shall we begin? Yes? 5 points... (you could've backed out.)
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Unless otherwise stated, point values are as follows: 2 for (a), 4 for
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(b), 6 for (c), and 10 for (d).
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1) How many valid net addresses do you have?
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Multiple machines at the same site do not count.
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____Internet ____UUCP ____Other public access ____Other
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____Bitnet ____Freenet ____Internet BBS ____All seven
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(2 points each)
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2) How many hours did it take for you to create your .sig?
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a) Huh?
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b) More than one
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c) More than five
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d) I'm still looking for a really funky quote
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3) On an average working day, how many email messages do you receive?
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a) Nobody sends me any mail... snif
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b) Three, but they're all from Lester in the next cubicle
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over, because he has nothing better to do
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c) I can't count that high, I failed calculus
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d) Don't ask me now, I'm too busy. Send me e-mail.
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4) Alright, fess up. Have you ever read alt.sex.bondage just to
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see what the heck those perverts were talking about?
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a) Yes, and I'm so ashamed
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b) Yes, and I'm so embarrassed
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c) Yes, and would you please explain a few things to me...
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d) No, never. (10 points. You're lying.)
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5) Have you ever met one of your past SO's (significant others)
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via a computer network?
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a) No
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b) Yes, through a newsgroup we both posted on
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c) Yes, by chatting randomly over the Internet (shame!)
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d) Yes, by chatting over RELAY
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6) Once you've logged onto your system, what do you spend most
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of your time doing?
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a) Going through the library system and putting books on reserve
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b) Reading _Alice in Wonderland_ in the online bookshelf
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c) Reading the monthly postings on rec.humor.funny
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d) Writing up stupid quizzes because you've done everything else
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7) If someone were to telephone your home at any given moment of the
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day, what would be the percent chance that your phone would
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be busy?
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a) Zero... I've got call waiting
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b) 25%.... I only dial in from work (Uh, hi, boss)
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c) 75%.... Duh, so that's why nobody ever calls me
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d) Zero... My modem has a separate phone line
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8) Which usenet newsgroups do you spend the most time reading?
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a) The comp. groups... because they're so informative
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b) The soc. groups.... because they're so multicultural
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c) The rec. groups.... because they're so diverting
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d) The alt. groups.... because I don't know what half those
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words mean
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9) What's your worst complaint about having an Internet account?
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a) I have to pay $5/month for it
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b) The damn sysadmins won't give me enough quota to hold
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all my .gif's
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c) All those programmers keep tying up the modem lines
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d) I have to stay in school to keep it
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10) Check your watch now. What time is it?
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a) 10 am... coffee break
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b) 3 pm.... General Hospital's on
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c) 12 am... one last login before I hit the sack
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d) 4 am.... Oh my God, I've got a test tomorrow
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ALRIGHT, GUYS. SCORING TIME.
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0-25 points: You're not a nerd. Go read a manual or two and come back
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next year.
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25-50 points: You're an up-and-coming Internet nerd. Why don't you
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telnet over to 128.6.4.8 and play around with the Quartz
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BBS for a while.
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50-75 points: You're a full-fledged Internet nerd. Join the club.
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75-100 points: You're an Internet addict. Try going to the library
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this week, it'll do you some good.
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100+ points: You're an Internet obsessive-compulsive. Unplug your
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computer, go out in the woods for a few days, and relax.
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Lay back and listen to the birds singing. Clear your mind.
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And don't forget to unsubscribe yourself from all those
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lists before you leave.
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