99 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
99 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
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BASTARD OPERATOR FROM HELL #8
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I'm at my desk as usual, and a user calls.
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"Hello Computer Room, Simon here, How can I help" I answer
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"I can't get into my account!" A user mumbles at me.
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"What was your username please?" I say
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They give me their username. No worries. I look in their account.
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"No worries, it was just a badly made login file. I've fixed it, you should
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be able to login."
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"Thanks!"
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"No worries. Have a nice day!"
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WHAT IS THIS? you're asking yourself. Has the BASTARD OPERATOR FROM HELL
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turned over a new leaf? Sold out?! GONE INSANE?!!!
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Nope. The BASTARD OPERATOR FROM HELL is being logfiled. And if that's happen-
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ing, I'm being bugged as well. So I'm being nice till I can find the bugs. It
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shouldn't be long - bear with me.
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Ah. One in the phone handpeice. Basic. But then the boss is a sneaky sort,
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so there's probably a couple more. Ah! And another in the base of the phone
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and one inside my keyboard. Time for a mad coffee-spilling frenzy. This is
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a big job, so I bring the whole jug over and wait for a witness. The System
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Manager comes in.
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"Where's that report of mine?" he asks in a surly manner - he's obviously
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pissed that I haven't implicated myself yet. Antagonist Identified. As
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the Principal of "BASTARD OPERATOR SCHOOL" (me) will tell you, "There's no
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problem so large it can't be solved by killing the user off, deleting their
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files, closing their account and reporting their REAL earnings to the IRS"
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I pull his printout from under the coffee jug where I put it, and the coffee
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splashes all over the phone and keyboard, which for some reason were stacked
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on top of each other.
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"Woopsy!" I say, mock horror on my face. The System Manager's face tells
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me I was right in my guess.
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"Don't think you'll get away with this!" he snarls and stomps off.
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I click on the ethernet monitor and watch the traffic coming out of his PC.
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Ah! A memo, authorising the termination of my contract, going to the laser in
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the director's office. I make a few alterations to the file in the spool
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directory and let it go to it's destination. I run my dinky little program
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that deposits -522 to the PC and our mainframe shits itself.
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Later, while booting, I'll remove that nasty logfile business.
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Next, I wander into the comms room and plug my earphone into the spare
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RS232 port in the Directors office. It's amazing how simple it is to bug an
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office once it's got data lines going to it!
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Director: "Are you sure about this?"
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SysMgr: "OF COURSE!"
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Director: "You don't want to reconsider?"
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SysMgr "NEVER!"
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Director: "Very well, I'll fax it to staffing now.."
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SysMgr "EXCELLENT!"
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Two seconds later the System Manager strolls in smiling.
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"Well, I'll really miss you Simon.." he says, full of himself.
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"Oh?" I say, all sweetness and charm "Where are you going?"
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"No Simon" he says, with glee "You're going"
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"A PROMOTION!" I say "You've finally written that letter to the head of
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staffing telling him he's a bum-sucking arse bandit and that you quit?"
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"No..."
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"Are you sure? It's much better than the one about me being fired.."
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"Y.." His eyes widen slightly
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It's like clubbing a seal to death with a foam cushion. He runs to stop the
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fax. Only, having just resigned, >clicky cklikcy< his card key no longer
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works...
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Ametuers...
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The Phone rings. It's the same guy as before
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"I can get into my account now, but I've run out of disk"
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"Hang on, I'll see what I can do"
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>clicccky<...
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rm -r *
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spt@waikato.ac.nz (Simon Travaglia)
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