86 lines
2.2 KiB
Plaintext
86 lines
2.2 KiB
Plaintext
|
BASTARD OPERATOR FROM HELL #2
|
||
|
|
||
|
I'm sitting at the desk, playing x-tank, when some thoughtless bastard rings
|
||
|
me on the phone. I pick it up.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Hello?" I say.
|
||
|
"Who is this?" they say
|
||
|
"It's me I think" I say, having been through a telephone skills course
|
||
|
"Me Who?"
|
||
|
"Is this like a knock knock joke?" I say, trying anything to save myself
|
||
|
having to end this game.
|
||
|
|
||
|
Too LATE! I get killed.
|
||
|
|
||
|
Now I'm pissed!
|
||
|
|
||
|
"What can I do for you?" I ask pleasantly - (one of the key warning signs)
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Um, I want to know if we have a particular software package.."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Which package is that?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Uh, B-A-S-I-C it's called."
|
||
|
|
||
|
>clickety clickety d-e-l b-a-s-i-c.e-x-e<
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Um no, we don't have that. We used to though.."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"oh. Oh well, the other thing I wanted to know was, could the contents of
|
||
|
my account be copied to tape to I have a permanent copy of them to save at
|
||
|
home in case the worst happens.."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"The worst?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well, like they get deleted or something..."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"DELETED! Oh, don't worry about that, we have backups" (I'm such a *shit*)
|
||
|
"What was your username?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
He gives me his lusername. (What an idiot)
|
||
|
|
||
|
>clickety clikc<
|
||
|
|
||
|
"But you haven't got any files in your account!" I say, mock surprise leaping
|
||
|
from my vocal chords.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Yes I have, you must be looking in the wrong place!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
So first he spoils my x-tank game, and now he's calling me a liar...
|
||
|
|
||
|
>clickety click<
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh no, I made a mistake" I say
|
||
|
|
||
|
Did he mutter "typical" under his breath? Oh dear, oh dear..
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I MEANT TO SAY: That username doesn't exist"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Huh? >wimper< It must do, I was only using it this morning!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Ah well, that'll be the problem, there was a virus in our system this
|
||
|
morning, the... uh... De Vinci Virus, wipes out users who are logged in
|
||
|
when it goes off."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"That can't be right, my girlfriend was logged in, and I'm in her account now!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Which one was that?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
He tells me the username. Some people NEVER learn..
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, yeah, her account was just after we discovered the virus."
|
||
|
>clickety clikc< "..she only lost all her files"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"But..."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"But don't worry, we've got them all on tape"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, thank goodness!!!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Paper tape. Have you got a magnifying glass and a pencil. SEE YOU IN THE
|
||
|
MACHINE ROOM!!!! NYAHAHAHAHAHA!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
I'm such a prick!
|
||
|
|
||
|
spt@waikato.ac.nz (Simon Travaglia)
|