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%% The Rumpus Chronicles Part VI: Rumpus Vice %%
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%% Brought to you by The_Omnipotent_Corporation %%
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Disclaimer: The Rumpus is a purely fictional character. Any similarities
=-=-=-=-=-= between the Rumpus and anyone named Romeo Casiple living in the
suburbs of Chicago, Illinois is purely coincidental and
unintentional. The Rumpus is a copyrighted trademark of
Omnipotent, Inc. Thank you for your time.
When we last left Rumpus, he was on a jet headed for Bogota, Columbia
after being defeated by our heros in Alief. Here's where the story
continues...
BOGOTA, COLUMBIA:
At the Bogota International Airport things were hectic. A flight from
Alief, USA had been delayed for over thirty minutes, but was now arriving.
There was no explanation from the crew except to say that they had some
maintenance problems. What really happened was far stranger. They had a
sudden loss of pressure in the cargo compartment so they pulled over to check
it out. When they walked around to the port side, they found a large hole in
it with mousse-hardened hair sticking to the metal. The pilot walked back
around to the cockpit and started the jet back up to continue on their way.
What the crew doesn't know was that just on the outskirts of Bogota,
Rumpus had pushed his way out of the airplane and plummeted several thousand
feet into a big pile of cocoa leaves. A few hours later when he woke up,
Rumpus was surrounded by poor farmers that were cursing at him in some foreign
language.
Rumpus said, "Unh!" That was the most intelligent thing that he could
think of. WHIRRRR! He was barely remembering what happened to him last. When
he looked around, he saw the farmers that were now staring at him in awe. "He
fell out of the sky," one shouted loudly. "He must be one of the gods!"
proclaimed another. "Yeah, but he's so funny-looking," said a third. "That
must mean that he is Supmur, the God of Power!" said the second, "He is
supposed to have been disfigured out of jealousy by the other gods for having
so much power."
The natives all dropped down to their knees simultaneously and started
moaning strange things. Rumpus was so scared he wet his pants and passed out.
When he awoke, he was high atop a ceremonial chair where the natives had placed
him. He looked around and thought to himself, NOW THIS IS THE LIFE!
After bathing him, the natives asked Rumpus what they could do to serve
him. He told them to bring them their most valuable possession. After several
minutes, the natives gathered a large pile of coca leaves in front of him.
"These coca leaves are our livelihood, oh Supmur, they are our only source
of income in this world (tax free, of course)."
COCOA LEAVES, Rumpus thought to himself. THAT WOULD HIT THE SPOT ABOUT
NOW. "Fetch me a fresh cup of cocoa!" Rumpus ordered, "Or feel the wrath of
Supmur!" He added a WHIRRR! onto the last syllable of the his order. All of
the natives cowered down and ran to prepare the fabled drink for his holiness.
After drinking about twelve cups of "cocoa", Rumpus was feeling mighty
powerful. "Follow me, my people," he shouted as he ran for the jungle, "I will
show you how the god, Tarzan, travels where I come from." His mind raced as he
headed for the trees. He had several of the strongest men lift him up into one
of the trees. Rumpus ran out to the edge of a branch and leapt through the air
and grabbed
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