316 lines
13 KiB
Plaintext
316 lines
13 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
___ ___ __ ___ __ ___
|
||
|
|
| \ |_ | \ |\ /| |_ |\ | /\ / |_
|
||
|
|
|__/ |__ |_/ | \/ | |__ | \| |~~| \__ |__
|
||
|
|
| \ | |
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
-=and=- __
|
||
|
|
//
|
||
|
|
// // // //\\ // // \\ \\ _____ //\
|
||
|
|
//\\ // \\// //__>> //__// \\ _// ~//~~// \\
|
||
|
|
// \\ //\\ \\ //~~~~ //~~// \\ ~ // \\ //
|
||
|
|
// \\/ \\ \\// // // // \\ // \\/
|
||
|
|
\\ \/
|
||
|
|
/\ __ //
|
||
|
|
// // //\\ //|| || || //|| ||~\\ \\//
|
||
|
|
//\\ //\ //__\\ // || || || //_|| ||_// \\
|
||
|
|
// \\ // \\ // \\ // || || /| // //~~|| ||~\\ \\//
|
||
|
|
// \\/ \\ //___|| ||//|// // || || \\ \/
|
||
|
|
\\ ~~~~
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
submit to you:
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
_______
|
||
|
|
_________________/ \_________
|
||
|
|
/ F U N \
|
||
|
|
< R A D I O L O G Y F U N P A G E S >
|
||
|
|
\_________________ F U N _________/
|
||
|
|
\_______/
|
||
|
|
\ ___________ /
|
||
|
|
_( )_
|
||
|
|
- (_ W E E K L Y _) _
|
||
|
|
(___ ___)
|
||
|
|
/ | | | | \
|
||
|
|
| | | |
|
||
|
|
____|_|_|_|_____
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Number 1
|
||
|
|
Written by:Abby Hoffman
|
||
|
|
The Dissident
|
||
|
|
Entered in textfile form by:Mr. Pez
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Kids, the Fun Pages (and whoa-ho, aren't they fun?) are to teach you all basic
|
||
|
|
knowledge of that modern miracle, nuclear power. Now, get your pencils out,
|
||
|
|
and prepare for a brain-teasin' good time!
|
||
|
|
-Mr. Pez
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
1) Addition.
|
||
|
|
ex. 5 nanocuries + 28 nanocuries= FATAL
|
||
|
|
ex. 3 nanocuries + 5 nanocuries= COOL
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
REMEMBER, 30 NANOCURIES IS HARMFUL!
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
a. 13 nanocuries + 26 nanocuries=
|
||
|
|
b. 20 nanocuries + 21 nanocuries=
|
||
|
|
c. 18 nanocuries + 12 nanocuries=
|
||
|
|
d. 16 nanocuries + 12 nanocuries=
|
||
|
|
e. 38 nanocuries + 147 nanocuries=
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
2) If the Nuclear Regulatory Comminsion hires six jumpers, how long will each
|
||
|
|
be able to live undisturbed by disease or angry hippie demonstrators?
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
3) What is the height of Indian Point 2's dome if it is made up of 1,505 inch-
|
||
|
|
thick blocks?
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
4) If a truck carrying two tons of radioactive waste tips over, spilling the
|
||
|
|
material on the roadbed, how many lanes will be close? How much property
|
||
|
|
will be destroyed?
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
5) If all of the radiological waste in Elizabeth, New Jersey, is uncovered,
|
||
|
|
how much of the world population will be destroyed?
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
6) If there is a meltdown, how many rods must be removed in order to stop the
|
||
|
|
chain reaction?
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
7) Draw lines to complete the following:
|
||
|
|
ANIMAL RUNS THROUGH TURNS THE COLOR
|
||
|
|
Cat Plutonium Red
|
||
|
|
Dog Uranium Green
|
||
|
|
Frog Radium Purple
|
||
|
|
Anteater Thorium Pink Polka-Dot
|
||
|
|
Lou Ferrigno Carbon 14 Silver
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
8) J M L That scrambled word game!
|
||
|
|
U B E
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
a) ULHSS
|
||
|
|
( ) _ _ _ ( )
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
b) RUSHOD
|
||
|
|
_ _ _ ( )( )( )
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
c) NCOPA
|
||
|
|
_ _ _ ( )( )
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
d) BROOT
|
||
|
|
( ) _ _ ( ) _
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
e) REALC
|
||
|
|
( )( ) _ _ _
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
f) MNEU
|
||
|
|
( ) _ _ ( )
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Print answer here:
|
||
|
|
HINT: Adds that extra BANG! in your day
|
||
|
|
( )( )( )( )( )( )( )( ) ( )( )( )( )( )
|
||
|
|
------------------------ ---------------
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
9) In Houston, a 12 kiloton atom bomb is dropped. How many people will vomit
|
||
|
|
the color green? (not including dogs on heartworm pills)
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
10) If a cat enters a nuclear power plant, how many lives will it have left
|
||
|
|
after it leaves?
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
11) Which is safest?
|
||
|
|
a. Working for organized crime
|
||
|
|
b. Eating ptomaine-infected potatos
|
||
|
|
c. Working in an asbestos factory
|
||
|
|
d. Living in Buchanan, New York
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
12) If all of the plutonium in South Carolina is uncovered, how large a bomb
|
||
|
|
can be made?
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
13) If a missile is launched with a 45 MPH tailwind, how much time will be
|
||
|
|
saved from the 20 minute flying time?
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Thank you for answering these questions...they will be graded later for the
|
||
|
|
FUN quotient. In the meantime, why don't you call these boards?
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
The Woodstock Nation..........(914)-___-____ (Abby's board went down,
|
||
|
|
unfortunately, but the
|
||
|
|
SPIRIT of the Nation lives
|
||
|
|
on, right, brothers?)
|
||
|
|
Home of Abby and myself...Every night from 10pm to 6am
|
||
|
|
And, other boards I suggest -
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
____N_a_m_e______ ___N_u_m_b_e_r__ __Software__ ___S_y_s_o_p_____ _Baudrate_
|
||
|
|
The Works! ! [914]-238-8195 ! PCBoard ! Jason Scott ! 300/1200 !
|
||
|
|
The Darque Side ! [408]-245-SPAM ! WaffleNET ! DS^3 Club !3/12/2400 !
|
||
|
|
Thieve's World ! [616]-344-2718 ! FIDO ! Thomas Covenant ! 300/1200 !
|
||
|
|
Terrapin Station ! [505]-865-0883 ! AE:TAC ! Count Nibble ! 300/1200 !
|
||
|
|
The Brewery ! [314]-394-8259 ! WWIV/Forum ! Beer Wolf ! 300/1200 !
|
||
|
|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
The TextFile Review]
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
___ ___ __ ___ __ ___
|
||
|
|
| \ |_ | \ |\ /| |_ |\ | /\ / |_
|
||
|
|
|__/ |__ |_/ | \/ | |__ | \| |~~| \__ |__
|
||
|
|
| \ | |
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
-=and=- __
|
||
|
|
//
|
||
|
|
// // // //\\ // // \\ \\ _____ //\
|
||
|
|
//\\ // \\// //__>> //__// \\ _// ~//~~// \\
|
||
|
|
// \\ //\\ \\ //~~~~ //~~// \\ ~ // \\ //
|
||
|
|
// \\/ \\ \\// // // // \\ // \\/
|
||
|
|
\\ \/
|
||
|
|
/\ __ //
|
||
|
|
// // //\\ //|| || || //|| ||~\\ \\//
|
||
|
|
//\\ //\ //__\\ // || || || //_|| ||_// \\
|
||
|
|
// \\ // \\ // \\ // || || /| // //~~|| ||~\\ \\//
|
||
|
|
// \\/ \\ //___|| ||//|// // || || \\ \/
|
||
|
|
\\ ~~~~
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Whoa-ho, it's those...
|
||
|
|
_______
|
||
|
|
_________________/ \_________
|
||
|
|
/ F U N \
|
||
|
|
< R A D I O L O G Y F U N P A G E S >
|
||
|
|
\_________________ F U N _________/
|
||
|
|
\_______/
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Number 2
|
||
|
|
Written by:Abby Hoffman
|
||
|
|
Edited and typed by:Mr. Pez
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
It's that radical fun paper for the whole family! The NEW computer version!
|
||
|
|
I, as Mr. Pez, have decided to type in the works of the great Abby Hoffman in
|
||
|
|
order to gain a few cheap upload credits...but I'm sure you'll enjoy this fine
|
||
|
|
file! As well as the fine board Abby runs, called the Woodstock Nation. (More
|
||
|
|
on that later...)
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
1) If a metal take-out tray from a Japanese sushi parlor is put in a microwave
|
||
|
|
oven, how much will the magnetron be destroyed?
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
2) If a one-megaton warhead was dropped over the Empire State Building, how
|
||
|
|
many new customers would Hair Club for Men have after one month?
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
3) If a hydrogen bomb was dropped over Kentucky, how many radioactive table
|
||
|
|
legs could be made and sold at surplus prices?
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
4) A meaningful message from Mr. Mouli:
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Remember, kids, no radioactive materials are allowed on the George
|
||
|
|
Washington Bridge! ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS!!
|
||
|
|
Mr. Mouli is a staff writer, and, although he does nothing but chop
|
||
|
|
vegetables all day, he often contributes a meaningful message to THE PAGES.
|
||
|
|
5) If a Geiger counter tests all cartons of milk coming from the mid-west, how
|
||
|
|
many will be proved radiologically unfit for America's growing youth
|
||
|
|
because of atomic bomb tests after World War II?
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
6) If a 12 megaton atomic weapon is dropped on mid-town Manhattan, how much
|
||
|
|
business will Alfred A. Shyster, lawyer on 89th street, lose?
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
7) Math for pre-schoolers:
|
||
|
|
If an atomic bomb is dropped in the Yukon or North Pole, how many people
|
||
|
|
will be killed?
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
8) An atomic bomb is dropped in Canajoharie, New York (Small city and home of
|
||
|
|
the Beech-Nut and Life Saver factories.)
|
||
|
|
a. How much will the net profits of Johnson and Johnson's shampoo division
|
||
|
|
and the makers of Adorn and Hair-Net drop?
|
||
|
|
b. How many workers will be laid off?
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
9) Reading comprehension:
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
TDI (Tesla Designs, Incorporated) is researched a new product. Prototypes have been called the XRM or "X-Ray Magnetron". This new machine
|
||
|
|
is expected to be in 7/11's and AM/PM Mini Marts by next fall. This heavy-
|
||
|
|
duty oven cooks food with X-rays. However, the user must stand at least
|
||
|
|
three to four miles away from the oven. The late-night adventurer will be
|
||
|
|
shielded in a blockhouse buried deep underground and located several miles
|
||
|
|
away from the store. Most convenience stores will be relocated to
|
||
|
|
underground caverns deep below the Earth's crust and far from any population
|
||
|
|
centers. "You can cook a burrito in .5 nanoseconds," says a spokesman from
|
||
|
|
TDI. "However," he continues, "Many fear that all this time saved may rip
|
||
|
|
the fabric of American society to shreds." Remeber to pull that heavy battle
|
||
|
|
armor out of the closets! Remember to never turn your back on the XRM. And
|
||
|
|
please -- Watch the dog!
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
1) What would be a good title for the story?
|
||
|
|
a. Fun With X-Rays.
|
||
|
|
b. Mr. Tesla At Work.
|
||
|
|
c. A New Way To Cook.
|
||
|
|
d. A Day In The Park.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
2) What is the name of the company?
|
||
|
|
a. 7-11.
|
||
|
|
b. TDI.
|
||
|
|
c. Burrito.
|
||
|
|
d. Underground Blockhouse, Inc.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
3) What stores will support the XRM?
|
||
|
|
a. All finer stores near you.
|
||
|
|
b. King Kullen and Waldbaum's.
|
||
|
|
c. Most convenience stores.
|
||
|
|
d. 86 Lumber.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
4) How quickly will the oven cook?
|
||
|
|
a. Quickly.
|
||
|
|
b. With X-rays.
|
||
|
|
c. Damn fast.
|
||
|
|
d. A nuclear nightmare.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
5) Why will most convenience stores be relocated?
|
||
|
|
a. Because nobody wants them in their neighborhood.
|
||
|
|
b. The XRM is very dangerous.
|
||
|
|
c. Because the south-west has been deprived of convenience stores for years.
|
||
|
|
d. A nuclear nightmare.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
6) Which of the following does the spokesman from TDI say?
|
||
|
|
a. "...All of this time saved may rip the fabric of American society to
|
||
|
|
shreds."
|
||
|
|
b. "I would like to be a Shakespearian actor."
|
||
|
|
c. "Where may I buy the antiques?"
|
||
|
|
d. "I would like a room with a bath."
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
10) J M L --That Scrambled Word Game!!
|
||
|
|
U B E
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
1) OLGBEN
|
||
|
|
_ _ _ _ ( )( )
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
2) NGGIO
|
||
|
|
_ ( ) _ ( ) _
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
3) RMEKAE
|
||
|
|
( ) _ ( ) _ _ _
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
4) ETARCER (Hint: Not "RETRACE")
|
||
|
|
( ) _ _ _ ( ) _ _
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
5) PNEO
|
||
|
|
_ _ ( ) _
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Print answer here:
|
||
|
|
HINT: Makes the modern kitchen
|
||
|
|
( )( )( )( )( )( )( )( )( )
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Well, Abby only made three of these Pages (the one I didn't do had too many
|
||
|
|
pictures) and I don't know if he'll make more, but why don't you call THE
|
||
|
|
WOODSTOCK NATION and find out?
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
[Ed's note: As I sit shamelessly painting board numbers everywhere and
|
||
|
|
making this a product of my group(s), when I actually wrote it in August or
|
||
|
|
something, I realize that the Nation's down, so don't bother calling it. Well, I'm editing out the number, so you can't anyway. Enjoy the files, it
|
||
|
|
makes the total number of RM/MM files 4 now. Be excited. Be very
|
||
|
|
excited.]
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Boards where you can savor good conversation with intelligent people:
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
____N_a_m_e______ ___N_u_m_b_e_r__ __Software__ ___S_y_s_o_p_____ _Baudrate_
|
||
|
|
The Works! ! [914]-238-8195 ! PCBoard ! Jason Scott ! 300/1200 !
|
||
|
|
The Darque Side ! [408]-245-SPAM ! WaffleNET ! S Bunker !3/12/2400 !
|
||
|
|
Thieve's World ! [616]-344-2718 ! FIDO ! Thomas Covenant ! 300/1200 !
|
||
|
|
Terrapin Station ! [505]-865-0883 ! AE:TAC ! Count Nibble ! 300/1200 !
|
||
|
|
The Brewery ! [314]-394-8259 ! WWIV/Forum ! Beer Wolf ! 300/1200 !
|
||
|
|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
The TextFile Review]
|