221 lines
6.3 KiB
Plaintext
221 lines
6.3 KiB
Plaintext
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From --
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<The Restaurant at the End of the Universe 609/921-1994 10 Megs/1200/2400>
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\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\/
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/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/\
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\\ //
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\\ M //
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\\ Raising Hell e //
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\\ t //
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\\ Volume One a //
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\\ l //
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\\ By //
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\\ C //
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\\ The Blade o //
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\\ m //
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\\ m //
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\\ -and- u //
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\\ Neon Knights //
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\\ i //
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\\ Satan c //
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\\ a //
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\\ t //
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\\ i //
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\\ o //
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\\ n //
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\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\s_/\_/\_/\_
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\_____________Outdoor Fun____________/
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Let us explain one thing, we do not
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give one flying shit about spellig,
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nor typographical errors, so don't
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get upset over something you can't
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control.
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Well enough with the bullshit, lets
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go out the door and destroy the
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neighborhood!
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You will need:
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Your hands
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A 20 inch lead pipe
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Mace
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A source of fire
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Paint (optional)
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Eggs (opt)
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Dogshit (in a bag)
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A few sheets of paper
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Ok, now we have all the materials we
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need, lets walk up to our first target,
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a nice, metal white mailbox! We can't
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let this beautify the street can we?,
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well there are a few ways of getting
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rid of this ugly sight, for one, if
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it is mounted on a wooden post, just
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kick it untill it is compleatly broken
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off, then throw it into the nearest
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sewer. If it is mounted on a metal
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post, just get one person on one side
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and another on the other side and
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twist it around untill it breaks off.
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If it is mounted on a stronger surface
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that is impossible to break off of,
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just take your nice lead pipe and beat
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the living shit out of it untill it
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looks like it got run over by a 18-
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wheeler. Or if you are in a more
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pyromaniac mood, dump a good 1/4 gallon
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on it, in it, under it, around it, then
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light it... Volia, a temporary street
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lamp so the little kids can come out
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and play street rollerball.
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Now that there are no mailboxes
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standing in sight, time to directly
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bother the shit out of the neighbors.
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First, lets get the dogshit out of
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the bag, and place it square on their
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front steps (as close to the door as
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possible). Then take the paper and
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cover the dogshit with it, and make
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sure that there is enough to burn for
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about 3 minutes. Then ring the bell,
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light the paper, then cruise where
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the people can see you, then they open
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the door, see the fire, then proceed
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to stamp it out with their nice
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tan leather slippers, after the fire
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is out, they look around outside, not
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noticing that their tan slippers
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now has brown spots, go back inside,
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then hear them swear their ass off.
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If they see you, and if you are good,
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they never see you, get out your nice
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can of mace, and spray it in their
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face. While they are on the ground,
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don't forget to check their pockets
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for some spare money that they owed
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you. Then get the hell outa there
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before the fuzz comes and carries the
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guy back into his nice, warm home,
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which he can't see because the mace
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is burning the shit out of his eyes.
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Ok, now its around 2 a.m., and everyone
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is warmly tucked into their warm beds,
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while you are in their backyard ripping
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down the nice bird feeders hung of the
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trees. Also volleyball/badmitin nets
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are real fun to set on fire when you
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roll them up. Ok, now move over to the
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2-tank propane (gas) grill. Rip the
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tubes out of the normal connection, and
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just shove them into the ventalation
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holes, or just let them hang, then turn
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the gas up as far as it will go, light,
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and wwoossh! a nice above ground 8 ft.
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campfire! And if there is a pretty
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redwood picnic table, throw it on!,
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as they say, keep the HOME fires
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burning!
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If there are any extra horseshoes
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laying around, go to their garage doors
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and stand about 15-20 feet away, and
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see who can be the first one to throw
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the horseshoe through the garage door!
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And if there are any windows on the
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garage door, they are even more
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chalanging!
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Well, while you are walking around
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the house, there is a garden!, well
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of course now is harvest time!, so
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see how long it takes to get all
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the plump, red, tomatoes you can
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carry!, then proceed to arrange them
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on various cars that pass by. And
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if someone does'nt like the creative
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art for you created on their windows,
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and are right on your ass, whip out
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the handy can of mace, and don't
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forget, to check his pockets for that
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wallet you have seen in the lost and
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found ads in the newspaper!
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Ok, now since the guy is laying on the
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ground in intense agony, why let that
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gas go to waste!, jump in the drivers
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seat, and cruise into your neighbors
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backyard and do doughnuts, 180's, you
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can even try to take out their screen
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porch if you can get enough speed.
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And when you are done with the car,
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just go to the nearest straightaway
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and put it in drive (3 for sticks) and
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put a brick on the accellarator!, boy
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is this funny when it runs right
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into someones living room!
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Well you are tired, so ya pack it in
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for the night, break out the good ole'
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six of Miller, and get trashed. The
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perfect ending to a perfect evening.
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\///\///\///\///\///\///\///\///\///\/
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Disclaimer: I personally have never
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done any of the above (uh huh), and
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I guess its against the law, so do it
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at your own risk (and have a hell of
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time)
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/\//\///\///\///\///\///\///////\///\/
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Raising Hell Volume I
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By The Blade
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A Neon Knight/Metal Communicatons
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Presentation
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Call These Metallic Boards:
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201-879-6668-pw-kill-The Metal AE
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503-538-0761-Metalland-AE/CATFUR/BBS
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818-706-2054-pw-harris-Reality AE
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201-528-6467-pw-zandar-mordor AE-10meg
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415-697-1320-7 gates of hell BBS-C-FUR
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<------------------------------------->
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Raising Hell (C) 1985 By NK, Inc.
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Written on June 28-29, 1985 In N.J.
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Special thanks to: Killer Kurt, Dave,
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Mike, King Diamond, Satan, Derrik, and
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everyone who lives to raise hell.
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<------------------------------------->
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L3>
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