114 lines
6.4 KiB
Plaintext
114 lines
6.4 KiB
Plaintext
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- Driving Fun I -
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- By The Blade and The High Lord Satan -
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- A Neon Knight/Metal Communications/Black Metal Presentation -
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The Neon fuckups are back, and raising Hell if a different way, with a very
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deadly tool if used in the right manner, the age old automobile. Well Henery
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(Ford that is), you've made another pastime for us to perfect, Death and
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Destruction by automobile. So lets go see what things the Blade does with his
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car (its a Jap Datsun pickup w/11 inch body/spring lift and 36 inch off-roader
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tires, great for running over/hitting things).
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One thing thats great fun is on Halloween (when everybody does it) get all your
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friends together who have pickups, get 5 or 10 people in the back with eggs and
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have a all out war against each other, and hit the stupid little kids who are
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trying to have to good time trick or treating, run em' over, and take their
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candy. Hit houses, take out the mailboxes with baseball bats, and ruin your
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paint job at the same time. Last Halloween, I got pulled over by the pigs, they
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said I had 4 seperate complaints on my truck for harassment, destruction on
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property, you fuckin name it. The funniest thing was that one of my friends in
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the back of my truck hit the councilman's daughter in the face with an egg, that
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was funny. I bullshitted with the cop and the fuckin councilman for an hour
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then they dropped all charges and let me go home to mommy and daddy. What
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dumasses, cops are stupid.
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Ok, I live in an 99 percent WASP/R. Catolitic community, so you could say some
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of us are narrow minded when it comes to certain things, such as Black people,
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spics, jews, mormans, ricans, and other ignorant groups. Well there's a town
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not too far away called Mo-town, witch is about 60 percent black, and 59 outa
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that 60 are ignorant and have jobs that pay 2.65 an hour (sorta like deaf and
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dumb people). Well, I did this a couple times, and its fuckin fun as hell, it's
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call Nigger Polo. You need a pickup, 6 guys in back, 6 baseball bats, and a
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shotgun (in case you get mobbed by 200 of em). Drive down the street, and yell
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slurs like 'Hey niggeas, i gots sum watamelen heres for ya' or 'my granddady
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fuckin owned ya' fatah' that shit gets em' pissed and chasin, so when they get
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near the truck, try to crush their skull, or take off their noses in one swing.
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But this game isn't all fun, if you drop your bat, you gotta go get it, its a
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bitch trying to get a bat when 30 nigs are beteen you and it.
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Its garbage day, and all dose nice rubbermaid and galvinized steel cans are just
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waiting to be run over. Some of you people can't do this cause it'll fuck up
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your undercarrige of your auto, but if you have a nigger machine like me, its a
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fielday. Its a riot to see flattened cans all up and down the street, with used
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tampons scattered across the road.
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Remeber when you were an ass and rode your bike around town, and people would
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honk at you, throw things at you, and sometimes run you off the road. One thing
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good about my truck, it has air horns, which you can hear 2 miles away. Its
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funny when you blow the horn at bikers and they fuckin freak out and crash. The
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most memoriable time was when some guy was riding across this small bridige, I
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fuckin' hit the horn, the bike hit the guardrail on the bridge, the handlebars
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got wedged inbetween the rails, it filpped him over the rail, into the river, I
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fuckin could'nt stay on the road cause i was laughin so hard. I wonder what
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ever happend to him...
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Big wheels are a great advantage in ripping up people's lawns. When they are
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home is the funniest, just take off your plates and your set for destruction.
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Thow the baby in first and cut the wheel, plow time! shit, the lawn in now a
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plowed plain. They call the cops, but you're 4 wheelin and long gone...
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This part takes guts, but if you are fucked in the head, you don't care when
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others die. The famous phrase 'Hit and Run' well describes this activity, but
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instead of running, fuckin spin! Old people are the easiest target cause they
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don't move very fast, and they die the quickest. My old friend (who is now in
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jail) and I went out one night to the city. We got sloshed and drove around (In
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New York City, they can't tell when you are fucked up, cause no one knows how to
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drive anyway) and went to Brooklyn, where alot of old fucks live, some old lady
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was waiting to cross the street, is was some side street and it was around 11
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p.m., well, nobody was in sight, so we waived her to cross in front of us, she
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was all happy, until Joe(to not mention names) floored it and creamed her, it
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was funny cause she went into convoltions on the side of the road, we took off
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and drank some more...
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Highway/Freeway/Turnpike driving can get very boring at times because there is
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not much to look at, and you do one steady speed, like 70 or 80 mph. Well, if
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you have an car that does'nt handle very well at high speeds, then take it out
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on other people, get into the fast lane, and go 55. This pisses people off
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majorly, and when they try to pass on the right, you can't get in trouble. It's
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one way to make hiway driving fun.
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Well, im getting tired, and in a few more months there will be new experiences
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to write about, so look for driving fun // somewhere near you.
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_-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-_
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I'm in no way responsible for anything that the end person kills, destroys,
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pillages, rapes, hurts, or burns. Its your life do what you want, I am.
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Call these:
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The Metal Ae pw-KILL 1200 only/4drives 201-879-6668
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The Metalworks Ae pw-RAPE 1200/2 drives 313-663-8103
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Metalland One (ind) 300/202 10meg AE/BBS/FUR 503-538-0761
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Manyways BBS (ind) 300/202 10meg AE/BBS/FUR 609-921-1994
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Treasure Island Ae pw-RUSH 1200 only/8 drives 414-547-2805
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Of course thanks to:
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Killer Kurt, Zandar Zan, The Metallian, Jolly*Roger, The Outland, Datsun,
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Dick Cepek, White Knight, Metal Bastard, Master of Reality, Exodus, King
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Diamond, and my friend in jail.
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Written on April 1, 1986 (C)1986 The Neon Knights
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No part of this file may be published in any form of mass media, such as
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Newspapers, Magizines, or T.V. without written consent from The Neon Knights.
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See you in HELL!!
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