315 lines
15 KiB
Plaintext
315 lines
15 KiB
Plaintext
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_ _ _ _
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((___)) ((___))
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[ x x ] cDc communications [ x x ]
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\ / presents... \ /
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(` ') (` ')
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(U) (U)
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THOMPSON & ACKERET:
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Trashing
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by The Daredevil
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Appreciated by:
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-cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
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_______________________________________________________________________________
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------------
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Anarchy Inc.
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------------
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Chapter one: The Coming of Eric
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--------------------------------
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It had been a month since Eric C. Thompson had bought his TI computer, and he
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had finally, after months of searching, found this unique little key known as
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the "POWER" key. He had also picked up several other intresting items at
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K-Mart, when he last went. Somebody had announced over the intercom that
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everything in the store was free, so naturally, he helped himself. He had a
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little modem, that attached to the joystick port of the TI, and a 12 collumn
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printer, as well as a second casette drive. This made him rather happy, but he
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couldn't understand why his "SPACE INVADERS" tape wouldn't play...All it
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provided was a screeching sound, like the sound that a gerbil would make in a
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veg-o-matic, but he found it entertaining neverless, and had been listening to
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it all evening.
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Intrestingly enough, Eric had been reading old copies of "Newsweek", and had
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found that these neat little things called "BBS's" existed. He decided that he
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would examine one of these, and see how they work. Besides, he wanted to meet
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this "Wildhack" chap. So, his first BBS was known as the Twilight Zone. Thus:
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THE TWILIGHT ZONE IS A PLACE. IT'S
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THAT FIFTH DIMENSION WHERE IMAGINATION
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RULES AND THE ORDINAY LAWS OF THE
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UNIVERSE NO LONGER APPLY.
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THE TWILIGHT ZONE IS ALSO A STATE OF
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MIND--THAT MIST-SHROUDED AREA BETWEEN
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REALITY AND DREAM WHERE HOPE STRUGGLES
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ETERNALLY WITH HORROR.
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ENTER PASSWORD OR TYPE THE WORD : NEW
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-::=>
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Eric was perplexed. He decided to try a few passwords. "SWORDFISH" didn't
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work, and neither did "JOSHUA". So, he sighed, turned up Space Invaders on his
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stereo, and typed "NEW". The BBS greeted him with a happy little message,
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saying how happy the system operator was to have him on there, and such. In
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reality, the sysop didn't want any new users, but he had decided to be friendly.
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Eric entered his name, phone number, and his birthdate, even though the system
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didn't ask for it. He smiled.
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After reading through several messages, he decided to send this "E-Mail" to
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people, and ask them why their parents named them things like "Surf Rat", "A
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Modem User", and such. Seeing Princess Leia up there excited him, but he was
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disapointed when he couldn't find R2D2 in the user log. Finally, he came upon a
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name in which he had found familar. "Matt Ackeret" it read. The message that
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it was in was talking about leaving hanging quotes in mid-air. Eric decided
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that this person was an intellectual, and made a mental note to send him some
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mail. Suddenly, some words came across the screen, noting that the system
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operator had broken into chat. Eric's eyes widened.
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Hi there, you must be a new user. Need any help?
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WAIT!! YOU CAN'T BE ROD SERLING! YOU'RE DEAD!
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Rod quickly broke out of chat mode, and swore not to ever mix drinks again.
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He wandered off, and fell down on his waterbed, trying to piece this fool on his
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system together in his mind. He gave up, wandered out of the room, and decided
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to see if the donut stains were off his car yet.
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Eric made another mental note that the system operator was either rather rude,
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or he really had just died. "Heavens." he muttered. So, he sent a letter to
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Matt Ackeret, which stated that he wanted to meet this person, because it seemed
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that he was the only one with a "normal" name on the system.
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Chapter two : Matt Ackeret enters
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---------------------------------
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Matt had been getting these annoying crank calls most of the morning. People
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were calling up, and giving him high pitched whistles. He had blown whistles
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back, using a whistle he found in a box of Capt. Crunch. He decided he was
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hungry, but found that he wasn't tall enough to reach the handle of the
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refrigerator. So, he decided to log-onto the Twilight Zone. It was a constant
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source of amusement for him, being that he enjoyed being insulted, and besides,
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he might one day find somebody else who molested fire hydrants. So, he went in
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on his computer, and dialed up the Zone.
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Fate had decided to play a hand in this, as Fate thought it would be amusing
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to see what would happen if Thompson and Ackeret met. So, it was pre-destined,
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that at 7:32 pm, Saturday, the 5th of January, 1984 ad, that a user was hung up
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on, and Matt Ackeret was allowed entrance to the Twilight Zone. (Author's note:
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Please inform me which of you was disconnected from the zone at this time of
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day. Thank you.)
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Matt entered his password, taking five minutes, being a slow typist and all,
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and found himself with the usual hate mail. Most of it was from this person
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named "The Jackal", who wanted to make love to him. Matt declined, as he found
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that the Jackal wasn't a fire hydrant. Granted, he looks like one, but he
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wasn't Matt's type. The fifth letter was from Eric C. Thompson. Matt tilted
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his head to the side, and stared at the screen. Somebody accually wanted to
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meet him! And somebody accually wanted to side with him on the boards, besides
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the Jackal! This was amazing! Perhaps Eric was a fire hydrant... So, he gave
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Eric a call that evening.
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Chapter Three : The Meeting
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---------------------------
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Eric sat up in bed, and stretched, knocking several things off the dresser,
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including his TI computer. He replaced it, and found that his telephone was
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ringing. Upon answering it, a voice said something like:"HI ERIC!! THIS IS
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MATT!" Now, I will note, that Matt Ackeret's voice is so high, that it is
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commonly mistaken for a carrier signal. Eric rushed to his computer, and shoved
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the phone into his earmuff modem. Matt did the same, and soon they were typing
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to each other.
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HI! THIS IS MATT ACKERET!
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Uhm, hello there. This is Eric. I saw you on the twilight zone, and I
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decided to send you a letter. How are you?
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FINE! SAY, DID YOU WANT TO GO TRASHING?
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Trashing? Well, my father is already a sanation worker, bu
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tDON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING! WE FIND INTRESTING STUFF WHILE TRASHING!
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You mean going through garbage cans?
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YES!
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Oh, I see.
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DON'T WORRY, MY MOTHER DOES THAT ALL THE TIME.
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Okay...
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This conversation went on for about an hour, where Matt talked about molesting
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fire hydrants (whereas Eric pointed out that zuchinni's are more fun.), and
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where they would trash. To get to the point, Matt had no idea whatsoever what
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"Trashing" was. He had seen the word before, on an AE line. He liked it, so he
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decided to impress Eric with the use of it. Eric liked the idea of getting free
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things out of a garbage dumpster, and they set a time and date for it.
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Chapter Four : The Trashing
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---------------------------
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They had found, and staked out for several weeks, an excellent place to do
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some trashing. Eric had come up with the idea, and soon they were walking up to
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a garbage bin, located behind K-Mart. It was mostly filled with leftovers from
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past lunches people had eaten in the luncheon department. Matt jumped right in,
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and Eric stood outside to watch. Matt had insisted that he was the expert on
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trashing, so Eric decided to let a professional go to work. The first thing
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Matt found was an Engerbert Humperdink tape, which he gave to Eric. Eric
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profusely thanked him, and pocketed it. Matt had also found a "He-Man Battle
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Cat", but he didn't tell Eric, for he was afraid that Eric would take it from
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him. So, he kept this treasure hidden.
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"Eric," said Matt, looking up from the dumpster, "We can go to the cans behind
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Gemco if you like." Eric looked at him.
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"Uhm, I really don't-" His sentence was short-lived, as Matt cut him off, like
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he does in chat mode.
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"No, it would be fascinating! Think!" said Matt.
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"Oh." said Eric. Then, Eric decided to jump about five feet in the air. This
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jump was involuntary however, because somebody had put their hand on Eric's
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shoulder.
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Chapter Five : The Sinning!
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---------------------------
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The security guard had seen Eric and Matt from a distance. He was walking
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around the back of K-Mart, and found a blond-haired figure with a mole on his
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nose, standing there pocketing a tape, while a small youth, who couldn't have
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been any older that four, in the guard's oponion, was "swimming" around in the
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trash bin. Now, anybody who wanted to play in garbage was beyond him, but then
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again, he was a simple person, who worked for minimum wage being a security
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guard for K-Mart, so he decided to see why this four-year old enjoyed waste so
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much. He walked over, and put his arm on the blond-haired figure's shoulder. A
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nice friendly gesture, but Eric hadn't counted on a sweatly palm hitting his
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shoulder. He jumped, and the guard took this as a sign of aggression. He
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pulled a small revolver, and shot wildly, screaming bloody murder the whole
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time. However, he missed, and only succeeded in blackening the large red 'K'
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ont the sign. Matt dove into the garbage, which is where he stayed for at least
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two weeks, hence his disapearance on the BBS's. Eric, on the other hand, ran
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like mad, and returned home. The guard picked himself up off the ground, and
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began wondering if they were drug-crazed hippies or not. He decided to blame
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the sign on the KKK, and wandered back into the store.
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Chapter six : Finalle
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---------------------
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Eric reached home, and ran into his room, where he hid under the bed for three
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days straight. His parents put out a rescue team on the second night to look
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for him, but they were looking in Ohio, by mistake. (You'll have to meet Eric's
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parents to understand this weird turn of events. -Author(plural.)) He decided
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to swear off the modem, and stay away from people with "normal" names. They
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were trouble. So, Eric sold his modem for 49 cents at a flea market, and went
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home to listen to a new tape he got, which was another game for the TI. We are
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still unsure who bought Eric's modem, but when we find out, that's another
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story.
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-Fin.
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The characters mentioned in this text file are purely fictional. No actual
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persons, living, dead, or otherwise, without satiric content, are intented or
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should be inferred. Eric C. Thompson and Matt Ackeret are property of Anarchy
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inc. All Rights Reserved.
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/\________________________________________________________________________/\
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\/ \/
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------------
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.cni yhcranA
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...stneserp... ------------
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Matt Ackeret and Eric C. Thompson
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[\\] Do Bridgingheads [//]
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livederaD ehT ,soahC ehT covaH ,hcaoR nooM ehT : yb nettirW
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Anarchy inc. "We take care of our own." founded mcmlxxxiv
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Introduction: By Havoc The Chaos "I'm not a vandal. I'm a
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------------ friend of entropy."
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This, you might say, could be a sequel to the immensely popular Anarchy inc.
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file "Ackeret & Thompson go Trashing". Basically, it's just another example of
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why people with the mentallities of an eggplant (ie. New users, Bell telephone
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linemen, 13-year olds, etc.) should not try anything like trashing,
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bridgingheads, or phreaking. In this story, we would like to present the real
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life accounts of our heros, Ackeret & Thompson. In the last textfile, we got to
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read about how they decided to go trashing...behind K-Mart. Not a wise thing to
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do. Anyways, without futher adieu, we present this month's story...
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Chapter one: Ackeret-Massive Studgod "Time is an illusion...
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----------- Especially with your eyes
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closed."
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Matt Ackeret strode out of the parking lot of Homestead High School, and said
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a friendly "Hey babe." to a group of girls standing near him. They chattered
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about how sexy Matt was, and how badly they wanted his muscular body. Matt
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grinned. He walked over to a senior nicknamed "Moose", and demanded his
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extortion money. Moose looked up sadly, with great fear in his eyes, stating
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that he didn't have any money. Matt made a mental note to blow up his dog.
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(Good Christie. -author) Suddently, there was a loud noise from the parking
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lot. Matt thought, "Hmmm..Good. My homemade pipebomb went off. I must tell
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The Stainless Steel Rat about this." The hall was quickly filled with F.B.I.
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agents, all shouting about arresting Ackeret. Matt dived out the second story
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window, and landed in the seat of his Lamborghini Countach 5000S. He quickly
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sped out of the parking lot, turning up his Deep Purple to the highest volume
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attainable. The policemen were now in hot pursuit. He decided to log-onto the
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Twilight Zone while driving, and not to waste his time by auto-dialing. He
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would just tell Rod that he wanted level nine...Maybe he would be co-sysop. He
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drove down highway 280 at eighty miles per hour, grinning all the while. It
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wasn't the fact that he heard his mother while driving, it was the fact that she
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was calling him for breakfast, and it was noon. This was odd.
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Chapter two: Wake up and smell the marajuana. "My god! I'm a fireplug.
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----------- Does it hurt much?"
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Matt Ackeret sat slowly up in bed, coming back to the land of the living. His
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mother had been calling for some time. It seemed that today was the day that
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his parents would both be at work, while Homestead High School was off school
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today. "Matt!" his mother bellowed. "Get in here, and eat your oatmeal! It's
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getting warm!" Matt yawned.
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"Okay mom." he said in a squeaky voice. His Vic-20 computer thought that his
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voice was a carrier tone, and returned with a carrier. Matt sighed.
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"Matt, we're leaving now. We're going to work now." His father, who was in
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the living room, playing with Matt's little sister, grinned. He wondered if it
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would be cold in Siberia this year. Soon, his parents were gone and out on a
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plane overseas. Matt sighed again.
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There was a loud knock on Matt's front door. The door fell inward, due to
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lack of hinges. "HELLO!" came a deep voice from outside of the house. "MATT!!
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ARE YOU HOME!? I HAVE SOMETHING NEAT TO DO." Matt looked up, and jumped out of
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bed. It was his long, lost friend: Eric C. Thompson! Matt bounded into the
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living room in his Spider-Man pajamas, with a superman cape on his back. Eric
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smiled.
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"Eric!" he said in a squeaky voice. "How have you been since our trashing
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experience?" Matt's look of surprise turned to a look of astonishment quickly.
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"What's that, Eric?"
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Eric held up a poorly painted box. It was blue, and said "QUAKER OATS" on the
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side. About fourty or fifty wires hung from it. "This is my very own Pacific
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Bell test set!" Eric proclaimed proudly. "I built it myself."
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Matt was awestruck. "Gee Eric, are we going to go out and look at a bridging
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head?" Eric nodded. "Wow!" Matt rushed into his room to get a monkey wrench.
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He could use this to open it. He needed a 2/14th, or a something like that...
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==============================================================================
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THOMPSON AND ACKERET: Trashing by The Daredevil 0/0/87-19
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Copyright (c) 1987 Anarchy inc. and cDc communications
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All rights reserved
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