145 lines
6.7 KiB
Plaintext
145 lines
6.7 KiB
Plaintext
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Anarchy inc. ...presents...
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------------ Definitions for the Uninformed! 2/85
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Written by: Eric C. Thompson of Anarchy inc.
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Introduction
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I realise that this text-file will be, at the most, useless to the computer
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and modem users that consider themselves well-informed about the latest teenage
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slang words. However, I realized that some users, like Matt Ackeret, Mr. Wang
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Bang, and Commander Video are young, and sheltered, and might not be able to
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keep up with the endless listings of teenage slang. In the chapters to come,
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I'd like to help users like the ones listed, and countless others to the world
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of slang and such.
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Chapter I: General definitions
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[Disclamer: I hope that younger computer users, like Gandalf the Grey and
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WoLvErInE LoGaN, aren't offended by the use of supposed malicious words and
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such. We here at Anarchy inc. aren't responsible for angered parents who take
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things like this the wrong way, and take it out on their children.]
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FUCK: This means that the person who said this wishes to have sex. If
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he/she says:"FUCK YOU!" then they wish to have sex with you. One
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should stay away from these perverts, and ignore them. They only
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want to use you.
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SHIT: This is the excretion of human waste, and if somebody happens to
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type:"SHIT!" that means that you should get out of the area, as not
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to embarrass them, and remind them to clean up the mess when they are
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done.
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GODDAMNIT: The person who says this is highly religious, and wishes the lord
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above to damn a certain person, object, etc. They usually refer
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to their modem, when it overheats or a busy signal from the local
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popular Bulletin Board System.
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DICK: This is a negative statement, and one usually refers to another like:
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"OH, YOU'RE SUCH A DICK." A dick is a plainclothes cop, as said in
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the 1930's(i.e. Dick Tracy, etc.). You should explain to them, in
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plain terms, that you are not a police officer of any kind, and you
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aren't going to arrest or shoot them.
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PUSSY: In case you don't know, this is a cat. When somebody says something
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along the lines of "EAT PUSSY", then this means that they are into
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animal lust, and they should be avoided at all costs. Whoever would
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want to eat a cat is beyond me. Chicken, when cooked, tastes better.
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SNATCH: To snatch, is to steal or take an object that doesn't belong to you.
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If somebody should remark:"GRAB SNATCH", then they are a kleptomaniac
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and should not be allowed to come along on trips to the local
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shopping mall. It should also be noted that they have poor english.
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COCK: Again, the use of animal's names is quite popular among those who
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use slang. If you hear the sentence:"BIG LONG HARD STIFF COCK", then
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they are referring to a tall, rigid male chicken. To:"SUCK COCK" is
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kinky, and again, stay away from those who use animals during sexual
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intercourse.
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COCKSUCKER: One who uses animals during sex(see above.).
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BLOWJOB: This is like a "lubejob", and it involves automobiles. Mechanics
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seem to know what they're doing, as I'm not taking any autoshop
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classes. If a male asks a female:"GIVE ME A BLOWJOB." then he
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wants his car oiled.
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BITCH: A female dog. People who refer to others as "BITCHES" aren't too
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smart, and should realise that dogs don't have a thumb, and therefore
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can't type. They also aren't smart enough to press CTRL-Q,D. Even
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when taught.
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HORNY: Covered with spikes. Very few people have horns, and they are usually
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referring to lizards and other such reptiles. I don't think that
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reptiles are used during sexual intercourse, but knowing people today,
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I wouldn't be in the least shocked.
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BEAT OFF: I believe that this is the title of Michael Jackson's song, from
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his Thriller album. But, being that I don't listen to music played
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on the radio, I'll have to check up on this fact. If you see the
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sentence, "MATT ACKERET BEATS OFF!", then this probally means that
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he is a good breakdancer, and is black, only wealthy enough to wear
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on glove, and talk in a high voice.
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CUM: This is a radio station, and I believe that it is 94.5 on your FM
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dial. They play loud rock music, and I think they forgot the 'K' on
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the start of the word. When girls say that:"CUM TASTES GOOD.", this
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means that they probally had sex with the dj, or something.
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Chapter II:How to use these words in sentence form.
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Well, first I will list several sample sentences, and define their meaning.
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"FUCK YOU MAN, GODDAMN COCKSUCKER."
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This means that the one who addresses you wants to have sex with you,
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then damn you, because you have sexual relations with chickens. You might
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want to stay away from him, as he might rape you, and then damn you.
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"EAT PUSSY, MOTHERFUCKER!"
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This person wants you to eat a cat, and make love to your mother. I'd
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suggest you warn your parents, and out kitty out for the night.
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"SUCK MY DICK, FUCKHEAD!"
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I believe this person has problems with the useage of English language,
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as he suggests you "suck" on a 1930's policeman, and he/she wishes to do
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nasty things to the upper region of your body. Avoid this person.
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"GODDAMNIT."
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The person's views are not clear, as you don't know what they wish to have
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damned, unless you can see them pointing at something, like a cat or a
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1930's cop. Ask them to clarify their intent.
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Conclusion
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----------
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Well, I hope you now understand what most slang words mean. I will attempt to
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write another volume of this file, if I can find out some more words to define.
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Note that I figured out the meanings of all these words by myself, and personal
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experiences. However, note that I do not make love to cats.
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-Sincerely,
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Eric C. Thompson
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of Anarchy inc.
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//.....................................\\
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|| Anarchy inc. ||
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|| "We take care of our own." || :.Coming Soon.:
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|| The Daredevil, Havoc The Chaos, || "The Anarchist Manifisto"
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|| The Moon Roach, Ruby Tuesday, || by the Moon Roach
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|| Surf Rat, The Sheik, Dark Shadow, || "The life and times of
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|| Ron S. VanZuylen, Eric C. Thompson, || Eric C. Thompson."
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|| A Modem User, The Anarchist, || "Roofing! A complete guide!"
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|| Someone Else, Alexander of Atlantis,|| by Havoc The Chaos
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|| Teeny Bopper, DB Cooper, || ...and much more...
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|| Pleasure Victim, & Torqa Dun. || Call the VanCo Chat line at:
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\\.....................................// (408) 732-107
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Anarchy inc. "We take care of our own. Don't make us take care of you."
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