4377 lines
218 KiB
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4377 lines
218 KiB
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The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Aspern Papers by Henry James
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The Aspern Papers, by Henry James
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February, 1995 [Etext #211]
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The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Aspern Papers by Henry James
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*****This file should be named asprn10.txt or asprn10.zip******
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The text is that of the first American book edition, Macmillan and Co., 1888.
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THE ASPERN PAPERS
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I
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I had taken Mrs. Prest into my confidence; in truth without
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her I should have made but little advance, for the fruitful
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idea in the whole business dropped from her friendly lips.
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It was she who invented the short cut, who severed the Gordian knot.
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It is not supposed to be the nature of women to rise as a general thing
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to the largest and most liberal view--I mean of a practical scheme;
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but it has struck me that they sometimes throw off a bold conception--
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such as a man would not have risen to--with singular serenity.
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"Simply ask them to take you in on the footing of a lodger"--
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I don't think that unaided I should have risen to that.
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I was beating about the bush, trying to be ingenious, wondering by
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what combination of arts I might become an acquaintance, when she
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offered this happy suggestion that the way to become an acquaintance
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was first to become an inmate. Her actual knowledge of the Misses
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Bordereau was scarcely larger than mine, and indeed I had brought
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with me from England some definite facts which were new to her.
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Their name had been mixed up ages before with one of the greatest
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names of the century, and they lived now in Venice in obscurity,
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on very small means, unvisited, unapproachable, in a dilapidated
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old palace on an out-of-the-way canal: this was the substance
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of my friend's impression of them. She herself had been established
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in Venice for fifteen years and had done a great deal of good there;
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but the circle of her benevolence did not include the two shy,
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mysterious and, as it was somehow supposed, scarcely respectable Americans
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(they were believed to have lost in their long exile all national quality,
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besides having had, as their name implied, some French strain
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in their origin), who asked no favors and desired no attention.
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In the early years of her residence she had made an attempt
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to see them, but this had been successful only as regards
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the little one, as Mrs. Prest called the niece; though in reality
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as I afterward learned she was considerably the bigger of the two.
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She had heard Miss Bordereau was ill and had a suspicion that she
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was in want; and she had gone to the house to offer assistance,
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so that if there were suffering (and American suffering), she
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should at least not have it on her conscience. The "little one"
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received her in the great cold, tarnished Venetian sala, the central
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hall of the house, paved with marble and roofed with dim crossbeams,
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and did not even ask her to sit down. This was not encouraging for me,
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who wished to sit so fast, and I remarked as much to Mrs. Prest.
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She however replied with profundity, "Ah, but there's all the difference:
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I went to confer a favor and you will go to ask one. If they
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are proud you will be on the right side." And she offered to show
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me their house to begin with--to row me thither in her gondola.
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I let her know that I had already been to look at it half a dozen times;
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but I accepted her invitation, for it charmed me to hover about the place.
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I had made my way to it the day after my arrival in Venice (it had been
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described to me in advance by the friend in England to whom I owed
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definite information as to their possession of the papers), and I
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had besieged it with my eyes while I considered my plan of campaign.
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Jeffrey Aspern had never been in it that I knew of; but some note
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of his voice seemed to abide there by a roundabout implication,
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a faint reverberation.
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Mrs. Prest knew nothing about the papers, but she was interested
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in my curiosity, as she was always interested in the joys and
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sorrows of her friends. As we went, however, in her gondola,
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gliding there under the sociable hood with the bright Venetian
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picture framed on either side by the movable window, I could
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see that she was amused by my infatuation, the way my interest
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in the papers had become a fixed idea. "One would think you
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expected to find in them the answer to the riddle of the universe,"
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she said; and I denied the impeachment only by replying that if I
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had to choose between that precious solution and a bundle of
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Jeffrey Aspern's letters I knew indeed which would appear to me
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the greater boon. She pretended to make light of his genius,
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and I took no pains to defend him. One doesn't defend one's god:
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one's god is in himself a defense. Besides, today, after his long
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comparative obscuration, he hangs high in the heaven of our literature,
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for all the world to see; he is a part of the light by which we walk.
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The most I said was that he was no doubt not a woman's poet:
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to which she rejoined aptly enough that he had been at least
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Miss Bordereau's. The strange thing had been for me to discover
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in England that she was still alive: it was as if I had been told
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Mrs. Siddons was, or Queen Caroline, or the famous Lady Hamilton,
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for it seemed to me that she belonged to a generation as extinct.
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"Why, she must be tremendously old--at least a hundred," I had said;
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but on coming to consider dates I saw that it was not strictly
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necessary that she should have exceeded by very much the common span.
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Nonetheless she was very far advanced in life, and her relations with
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Jeffrey Aspern had occurred in her early womanhood. "That is her excuse,"
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said Mrs. Prest, half-sententiously and yet also somewhat as if she
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were ashamed of making a speech so little in the real tone of Venice.
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As if a woman needed an excuse for having loved the divine poet!
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He had been not only one of the most brilliant minds of his day
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(and in those years, when the century was young, there were,
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as everyone knows, many), but one of the most genial men and one
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of the handsomest.
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The niece, according to Mrs. Prest, was not so old, and she
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risked the conjecture that she was only a grandniece.
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This was possible; I had nothing but my share in the very limited
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knowledge of my English fellow worshipper John Cumnor, who had
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never seen the couple. The world, as I say, had recognized
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Jeffrey Aspern, but Cumnor and I had recognized him most.
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The multitude, today, flocked to his temple, but of that
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temple he and I regarded ourselves as the ministers.
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We held, justly, as I think, that we had done more for his memory
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than anyone else, and we had done it by opening lights into his life.
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He had nothing to fear from us because he had nothing to fear
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from the truth, which alone at such a distance of time we
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could be interested in establishing. His early death had been
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the only dark spot in his life, unless the papers in Miss
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Bordereau's hands should perversely bring out others.
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There had been an impression about 1825 that he had "treated
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her badly," just as there had been an impression that he had
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"served," as the London populace says, several other ladies
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in the same way. Each of these cases Cumnor and I had been
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able to investigate, and we had never failed to acquit him
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conscientiously of shabby behavior. I judged him perhaps
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more indulgently than my friend; certainly, at any rate,
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it appeared to me that no man could have walked straighter
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in the given circumstances. These were almost always awkward.
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Half the women of his time, to speak liberally, had flung
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themselves at his head, and out of this pernicious fashion
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||
|
many complications, some of them grave, had not failed to arise.
|
||
|
He was not a woman's poet, as I had said to Mrs. Prest,
|
||
|
in the modern phase of his reputation; but the situation had been
|
||
|
different when the man's own voice was mingled with his song.
|
||
|
That voice, by every testimony, was one of the sweetest ever heard.
|
||
|
"Orpheus and the Maenads!" was the exclamation that rose to my
|
||
|
lips when I first turned over his correspondence. Almost all
|
||
|
the Maenads were unreasonable, and many of them insupportable;
|
||
|
it struck me in short that he was kinder, more considerate than,
|
||
|
in his place (if I could imagine myself in such a place!)
|
||
|
I should have been.
|
||
|
|
||
|
It was certainly strange beyond all strangeness, and I shall not
|
||
|
take up space with attempting to explain it, that whereas in all
|
||
|
these other lines of research we had to deal with phantoms and dust,
|
||
|
the mere echoes of echoes, the one living source of information
|
||
|
that had lingered on into our time had been unheeded by us.
|
||
|
Every one of Aspern's contemporaries had, according to
|
||
|
our belief, passed away; we had not been able to look into
|
||
|
a single pair of eyes into which his had looked or to feel
|
||
|
a transmitted contact in any aged hand that his had touched.
|
||
|
Most dead of all did poor Miss Bordereau appear, and yet she
|
||
|
alone had survived. We exhausted in the course of months
|
||
|
our wonder that we had not found her out sooner, and the
|
||
|
substance of our explanation was that she had kept so quiet.
|
||
|
The poor lady on the whole had had reason for doing so.
|
||
|
But it was a revelation to us that it was possible to keep
|
||
|
so quiet as that in the latter half of the nineteenth century--
|
||
|
the age of newspapers and telegrams and photographs and interviewers.
|
||
|
And she had taken no great trouble about it either:
|
||
|
she had not hidden herself away in an undiscoverable hole;
|
||
|
she had boldly settled down in a city of exhibition.
|
||
|
The only secret of her safety that we could perceive was that
|
||
|
Venice contained so many curiosities that were greater than she.
|
||
|
And then accident had somehow favored her, as was shown
|
||
|
for example in the fact that Mrs. Prest had never happened
|
||
|
to mention her to me, though I had spent three weeks
|
||
|
in Venice--under her nose, as it were--five years before.
|
||
|
Mrs. Prest had not mentioned this much to anyone;
|
||
|
she appeared almost to have forgotten she was there.
|
||
|
Of course she had not the responsibilities of an editor.
|
||
|
It was no explanation of the old woman's having eluded us to say
|
||
|
that she lived abroad, for our researches had again and again
|
||
|
taken us (not only by correspondence but by personal inquiry)
|
||
|
to France, to Germany, to Italy, in which countries, not counting
|
||
|
his important stay in England, so many of the too few years
|
||
|
of Aspern's career were spent. We were glad to think at least
|
||
|
that in all our publishings (some people consider I believe
|
||
|
that we have overdone them), we had only touched in passing
|
||
|
and in the most discreet manner on Miss Bordereau's connection.
|
||
|
Oddly enough, even if we had had the material (and we often
|
||
|
wondered what had become of it), it would have been the most
|
||
|
difficult episode to handle.
|
||
|
|
||
|
The gondola stopped, the old palace was there; it was a house of the class
|
||
|
which in Venice carries even in extreme dilapidation the dignified name.
|
||
|
"How charming! It's gray and pink!" my companion exclaimed;
|
||
|
and that is the most comprehensive description of it.
|
||
|
It was not particularly old, only two or three centuries;
|
||
|
and it had an air not so much of decay as of quiet discouragement,
|
||
|
as if it had rather missed its career. But its wide front,
|
||
|
with a stone balcony from end to end of the piano nobile or most
|
||
|
important floor, was architectural enough, with the aid of various
|
||
|
pilasters and arches; and the stucco with which in the intervals
|
||
|
it had long ago been endued was rosy in the April afternoon.
|
||
|
It overlooked a clean, melancholy, unfrequented canal,
|
||
|
which had a narrow riva or convenient footway on either side.
|
||
|
"I don't know why--there are no brick gables," said Mrs. Prest,
|
||
|
"but this corner has seemed to me before more Dutch than Italian,
|
||
|
more like Amsterdam than like Venice. It's perversely clean,
|
||
|
for reasons of its own; and though you can pass on foot scarcely anyone
|
||
|
ever thinks of doing so. It has the air of a Protestant Sunday.
|
||
|
Perhaps the people are afraid of the Misses Bordereau.
|
||
|
I daresay they have the reputation of witches."
|
||
|
|
||
|
I forget what answer I made to this--I was given up to two
|
||
|
other reflections. The first of these was that if the old lady
|
||
|
lived in such a big, imposing house she could not be in any
|
||
|
sort of misery and therefore would not be tempted by a chance
|
||
|
to let a couple of rooms. I expressed this idea to Mrs. Prest,
|
||
|
who gave me a very logical reply. "If she didn't live in a big
|
||
|
house how could it be a question of her having rooms to spare?
|
||
|
If she were not amply lodged herself you would lack ground
|
||
|
to approach her. Besides, a big house here, and especially
|
||
|
in this quartier perdu, proves nothing at all:
|
||
|
it is perfectly compatible with a state of penury.
|
||
|
Dilapidated old palazzi, if you will go out of the way for them,
|
||
|
are to be had for five shillings a year. And as for the people
|
||
|
who live in them--no, until you have explored Venice socially as much
|
||
|
as I have you can form no idea of their domestic desolation.
|
||
|
They live on nothing, for they have nothing to live on."
|
||
|
The other idea that had come into my head was connected
|
||
|
with a high blank wall which appeared to confine an expanse
|
||
|
of ground on one side of the house. Blank I call it,
|
||
|
but it was figured over with the patches that please a painter,
|
||
|
repaired breaches, crumblings of plaster, extrusions of brick
|
||
|
that had turned pink with time; and a few thin trees, with the poles
|
||
|
of certain rickety trellises, were visible over the top.
|
||
|
The place was a garden, and apparently it belonged to the house.
|
||
|
It suddenly occurred to me that if it did belong to the house
|
||
|
I had my pretext.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I sat looking out on all this with Mrs. Prest (it was covered with the golden
|
||
|
glow of Venice) from the shade of our felze, and she asked me if I
|
||
|
would go in then, while she waited for me, or come back another time.
|
||
|
At first I could not decide--it was doubtless very weak of me.
|
||
|
I wanted still to think I MIGHT get a footing, and I was afraid
|
||
|
to meet failure, for it would leave me, as I remarked to my companion,
|
||
|
without another arrow for my bow. "Why not another?" she inquired
|
||
|
as I sat there hesitating and thinking it over; and she wished to know
|
||
|
why even now and before taking the trouble of becoming an inmate
|
||
|
(which might be wretchedly uncomfortable after all, even if it succeeded),
|
||
|
I had not the resource of simply offering them a sum of money down.
|
||
|
In that way I might obtain the documents without bad nights.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Dearest lady," I exclaimed, "excuse the impatience of my tone when I
|
||
|
suggest that you must have forgotten the very fact (surely I communicated
|
||
|
it to you) which pushed me to throw myself upon your ingenuity.
|
||
|
The old woman won't have the documents spoken of; they are personal,
|
||
|
delicate, intimate, and she hasn't modern notions, God bless her!
|
||
|
If I should sound that note first I should certainly spoil the game.
|
||
|
I can arrive at the papers only by putting her off her guard,
|
||
|
and I can put her off her guard only by ingratiating
|
||
|
diplomatic practices. Hypocrisy, duplicity are my only chance.
|
||
|
I am sorry for it, but for Jeffrey Aspern's sake I would do worse still.
|
||
|
First I must take tea with her; then tackle the main job."
|
||
|
And I told over what had happened to John Cumnor when he wrote to her.
|
||
|
No notice whatever had been taken of his first letter, and the second
|
||
|
had been answered very sharply, in six lines, by the niece.
|
||
|
"Miss Bordereau requested her to say that she could not imagine what
|
||
|
he meant by troubling them. They had none of Mr. Aspern's papers,
|
||
|
and if they had should never think of showing them to anyone
|
||
|
on any account whatever. She didn't know what he was talking
|
||
|
about and begged he would let her alone." I certainly did not want
|
||
|
to be met that way.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well," said Mrs. Prest after a moment, provokingly, "perhaps after all they
|
||
|
haven't any of his things. If they deny it flat how are you sure?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"John Cumnor is sure, and it would take me long to tell
|
||
|
you how his conviction, or his very strong presumption--
|
||
|
strong enough to stand against the old lady's not unnatural fib--
|
||
|
has built itself up. Besides, he makes much of the internal
|
||
|
evidence of the niece's letter."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"The internal evidence?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Her calling him 'Mr. Aspern.'"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I don't see what that proves."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"It proves familiarity, and familiarity implies the possession
|
||
|
of mementoes, or relics. I can't tell you how that 'Mr.' touches me--
|
||
|
how it bridges over the gulf of time and brings our hero near
|
||
|
to me--nor what an edge it gives to my desire to see Juliana.
|
||
|
You don't say, 'Mr.' Shakespeare."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Would I, any more, if I had a box full of his letters?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Yes, if he had been your lover and someone wanted them!"
|
||
|
And I added that John Cumnor was so convinced, and so all the more
|
||
|
convinced by Miss Bordereau's tone, that he would have come
|
||
|
himself to Venice on the business were it not that for him there
|
||
|
was the obstacle that it would be difficult to disprove his
|
||
|
identity with the person who had written to them, which the old
|
||
|
ladies would be sure to suspect in spite of dissimulation
|
||
|
and a change of name. If they were to ask him point-blank
|
||
|
if he were not their correspondent it would be too awkward
|
||
|
for him to lie; whereas I was fortunately not tied in that way.
|
||
|
I was a fresh hand and could say no without lying.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"But you will have to change your name," said Mrs. Prest.
|
||
|
"Juliana lives out of the world as much as it is possible to live,
|
||
|
but none the less she has probably heard of Mr. Aspern's editors;
|
||
|
she perhaps possesses what you have published."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I have thought of that," I returned; and I drew out of my pocketbook
|
||
|
a visiting card, neatly engraved with a name that was not my own.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You are very extravagant; you might have written it,"
|
||
|
said my companion.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"This looks more genuine."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Certainly, you are prepared to go far! But it will be awkward
|
||
|
about your letters; they won't come to you in that mask."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"My banker will take them in, and I will go every day to fetch them.
|
||
|
It will give me a little walk."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Shall you only depend upon that?" asked Mrs. Prest.
|
||
|
"Aren't you coming to see me?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, you will have left Venice, for the hot months, long before
|
||
|
there are any results. I am prepared to roast all summer--
|
||
|
as well as hereafter, perhaps you'll say! Meanwhile, John Cumnor
|
||
|
will bombard me with letters addressed, in my feigned name,
|
||
|
to the care of the padrona."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"She will recognize his hand," my companion suggested.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"On the envelope he can disguise it."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well, you're a precious pair! Doesn't it occur to you that even if you
|
||
|
are able to say you are not Mr. Cumnor in person they may still suspect
|
||
|
you of being his emissary?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Certainly, and I see only one way to parry that."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And what may that be?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
I hesitated a moment. "To make love to the niece."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Ah," cried Mrs. Prest, "wait till you see her!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
II
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I must work the garden--I must work the garden," I said to myself,
|
||
|
five minutes later, as I waited, upstairs, in the long,
|
||
|
dusky sala, where the bare scagliola floor gleamed vaguely
|
||
|
in a chink of the closed shutters. The place was impressive
|
||
|
but it looked cold and cautious. Mrs. Prest had floated away,
|
||
|
giving me a rendezvous at the end of half an hour by some
|
||
|
neighboring water steps; and I had been let into the house,
|
||
|
after pulling the rusty bell wire, by a little red-headed,
|
||
|
white-faced maidservant, who was very young and not ugly and
|
||
|
wore clicking pattens and a shawl in the fashion of a hood.
|
||
|
She had not contented herself with opening the door from above
|
||
|
by the usual arrangement of a creaking pulley, though she
|
||
|
had looked down at me first from an upper window, dropping the
|
||
|
inevitable challenge which in Italy precedes the hospitable act.
|
||
|
As a general thing I was irritated by this survival of
|
||
|
medieval manners, though as I liked the old I suppose I ought
|
||
|
to have liked it; but I was so determined to be genial that I
|
||
|
took my false card out of my pocket and held it up to her,
|
||
|
smiling as if it were a magic token. It had the effect of
|
||
|
one indeed, for it brought her, as I say, all the way down.
|
||
|
I begged her to hand it to her mistress, having first written on
|
||
|
it in Italian the words, "Could you very kindly see a gentleman,
|
||
|
an American, for a moment?" The little maid was not hostile,
|
||
|
and I reflected that even that was perhaps something gained.
|
||
|
She colored, she smiled and looked both frightened and pleased.
|
||
|
I could see that my arrival was a great affair, that visits
|
||
|
were rare in that house, and that she was a person who would
|
||
|
have liked a sociable place. When she pushed forward the heavy
|
||
|
door behind me I felt that I had a foot in the citadel.
|
||
|
She pattered across the damp, stony lower hall and I followed
|
||
|
her up the high staircase--stonier still, as it seemed--
|
||
|
without an invitation. I think she had meant I should wait
|
||
|
for her below, but such was not my idea, and I took up my
|
||
|
station in the sala. She flitted, at the far end of it,
|
||
|
into impenetrable regions, and I looked at the place with my
|
||
|
heart beating as I had known it to do in the dentist's parlor.
|
||
|
It was gloomy and stately, but it owed its character almost
|
||
|
entirely to its noble shape and to the fine architectural doors--
|
||
|
as high as the doors of houses--which, leading into the
|
||
|
various rooms, repeated themselves on either side at intervals.
|
||
|
They were surmounted with old faded painted escutcheons,
|
||
|
and here and there, in the spaces between them, brown pictures,
|
||
|
which I perceived to be bad, in battered frames, were suspended.
|
||
|
With the exception of several straw-bottomed chairs with
|
||
|
their backs to the wall, the grand obscure vista contained
|
||
|
nothing else to minister to effect. It was evidently
|
||
|
never used save as a passage, and little even as that.
|
||
|
I may add that by the time the door opened again through
|
||
|
which the maidservant had escaped, my eyes had grown used
|
||
|
to the want of light.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I had not meant by my private ejaculation that I must myself cultivate
|
||
|
the soil of the tangled enclosure which lay beneath the windows,
|
||
|
but the lady who came toward me from the distance over the hard,
|
||
|
shining floor might have supposed as much from the way in which, as I
|
||
|
went rapidly to meet her, I exclaimed, taking care to speak Italian:
|
||
|
"The garden, the garden--do me the pleasure to tell me if it's yours!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
She stopped short, looking at me with wonder; and then, "Nothing here
|
||
|
is mine," she answered in English, coldly and sadly.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, you are English; how delightful!" I remarked, ingenuously.
|
||
|
"But surely the garden belongs to the house?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Yes, but the house doesn't belong to me." She was a long,
|
||
|
lean, pale person, habited apparently in a dull-colored
|
||
|
dressing gown, and she spoke with a kind of mild literalness.
|
||
|
She did not ask me to sit down, any more than years before
|
||
|
(if she were the niece) she had asked Mrs. Prest, and we stood
|
||
|
face to face in the empty pompous hall.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well then, would you kindly tell me to whom I must address myself?
|
||
|
I'm afraid you'll think me odiously intrusive, but you know I MUST
|
||
|
have a garden--upon my honor I must!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
Her face was not young, but it was simple; it was not fresh, but it was mild.
|
||
|
She had large eyes which were not bright, and a great deal of hair which
|
||
|
was not "dressed," and long fine hands which were--possibly--not clean.
|
||
|
She clasped these members almost convulsively as, with a confused,
|
||
|
alarmed look, she broke out, "Oh, don't take it away from us;
|
||
|
we like it ourselves!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You have the use of it then?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, yes. If it wasn't for that!" And she gave a shy, melancholy smile.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Isn't it a luxury, precisely? That's why, intending to be
|
||
|
in Venice some weeks, possibly all summer, and having some
|
||
|
literary work, some reading and writing to do, so that I must
|
||
|
be quiet, and yet if possible a great deal in the open air--
|
||
|
that's why I have felt that a garden is really indispensable.
|
||
|
I appeal to your own experience," I went on, smiling.
|
||
|
"Now can't I look at yours?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I don't know, I don't understand," the poor woman murmured,
|
||
|
planted there and letting her embarrassed eyes wander all
|
||
|
over my strangeness.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I mean only from one of those windows--such grand ones
|
||
|
as you have here--if you will let me open the shutters."
|
||
|
And I walked toward the back of the house. When I had advanced
|
||
|
halfway I stopped and waited, as if I took it for granted she would
|
||
|
accompany me. I had been of necessity very abrupt, but I strove
|
||
|
at the same time to give her the impression of extreme courtesy.
|
||
|
"I have been looking at furnished rooms all over the place,
|
||
|
and it seems impossible to find any with a garden attached.
|
||
|
Naturally in a place like Venice gardens are rare. It's absurd
|
||
|
if you like, for a man, but I can't live without flowers."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"There are none to speak of down there." She came nearer to me, as if,
|
||
|
though she mistrusted me, I had drawn her by an invisible thread.
|
||
|
I went on again, and she continued as she followed me: "We have a few,
|
||
|
but they are very common. It costs too much to cultivate them;
|
||
|
one has to have a man."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Why shouldn't I be the man?" I asked. "I'll work without wages;
|
||
|
or rather I'll put in a gardener. You shall have the sweetest
|
||
|
flowers in Venice."
|
||
|
|
||
|
She protested at this, with a queer little sigh which might
|
||
|
also have been a gush of rapture at the picture I presented.
|
||
|
Then she observed, "We don't know you--we don't know you."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You know me as much as I know you: that is much more, because you
|
||
|
know my name. And if you are English I am almost a countryman."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"We are not English," said my companion, watching me helplessly while I threw
|
||
|
open the shutters of one of the divisions of the wide high window.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You speak the language so beautifully: might I ask what you are?"
|
||
|
Seen from above the garden was certainly shabby; but I perceived
|
||
|
at a glance that it had great capabilities. She made no rejoinder,
|
||
|
she was so lost in staring at me, and I exclaimed, "You don't mean
|
||
|
to say you are also by chance American?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I don't know; we used to be."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Used to be? Surely you haven't changed?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"It's so many years ago--we are nothing."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"So many years that you have been living here? Well, I don't wonder
|
||
|
at that; it's a grand old house. I suppose you all use the garden,"
|
||
|
I went on, "but I assure you I shouldn't be in your way.
|
||
|
I would be very quiet and stay in one corner."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"We all use it?" she repeated after me, vaguely, not coming close
|
||
|
to the window but looking at my shoes. She appeared to think me
|
||
|
capable of throwing her out.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I mean all your family, as many as you are."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"There is only one other; she is very old--she never goes down."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Only one other, in all this great house!" I feigned to be not only amazed
|
||
|
but almost scandalized. "Dear lady, you must have space then to spare!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"To spare?" she repeated, in the same dazed way.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Why, you surely don't live (two quiet women--I see YOU
|
||
|
are quiet, at any rate) in fifty rooms!" Then with a burst
|
||
|
of hope and cheer I demanded: "Couldn't you let me two or three?
|
||
|
That would set me up!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
I had not struck the note that translated my purpose, and I need
|
||
|
not reproduce the whole of the tune I played. I ended by making my
|
||
|
interlocutress believe that I was an honorable person, though of course
|
||
|
I did not even attempt to persuade her that I was not an eccentric one.
|
||
|
I repeated that I had studies to pursue; that I wanted quiet;
|
||
|
that I delighted in a garden and had vainly sought one up and
|
||
|
down the city; that I would undertake that before another month
|
||
|
was over the dear old house should be smothered in flowers.
|
||
|
I think it was the flowers that won my suit, for I afterward found
|
||
|
that Miss Tita (for such the name of this high tremulous spinster proved
|
||
|
somewhat incongruously to be) had an insatiable appetite for them.
|
||
|
When I speak of my suit as won I mean that before I left her she
|
||
|
had promised that she would refer the question to her aunt.
|
||
|
I inquired who her aunt might be and she answered, "Why, Miss Bordereau!"
|
||
|
with an air of surprise, as if I might have been expected to know.
|
||
|
There were contradictions like this in Tita Bordereau which, as I
|
||
|
observed later, contributed to make her an odd and affecting person.
|
||
|
It was the study of the two ladies to live so that the world
|
||
|
should not touch them, and yet they had never altogether accepted
|
||
|
the idea that it never heard of them. In Tita at any rate
|
||
|
a grateful susceptibility to human contact had not died out,
|
||
|
and contact of a limited order there would be if I should come
|
||
|
to live in the house.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"We have never done anything of the sort; we have never had a lodger
|
||
|
or any kind of inmate." So much as this she made a point of saying to me.
|
||
|
"We are very poor, we live very badly. The rooms are very bare--
|
||
|
that you might take; they have nothing in them. I don't know how you
|
||
|
would sleep, how you would eat."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"With your permission, I could easily put in a bed and a few
|
||
|
tables and chairs. C'est la moindre des choses and
|
||
|
the affair of an hour or two. I know a little man from whom
|
||
|
I can hire what I should want for a few months, for a trifle,
|
||
|
and my gondolier can bring the things round in his boat.
|
||
|
Of course in this great house you must have a second kitchen,
|
||
|
and my servant, who is a wonderfully handy fellow" (this personage
|
||
|
was an evocation of the moment), "can easily cook me a chop there.
|
||
|
My tastes and habits are of the simplest; I live on flowers!"
|
||
|
And then I ventured to add that if they were very poor
|
||
|
it was all the more reason they should let their rooms.
|
||
|
They were bad economists--I had never heard of such a
|
||
|
waste of material.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I saw in a moment that the good lady had never before been spoken
|
||
|
to in that way, with a kind of humorous firmness which did
|
||
|
not exclude sympathy but was on the contrary founded on it.
|
||
|
She might easily have told me that my sympathy was impertinent,
|
||
|
but this by good fortune did not occur to her.
|
||
|
I left her with the understanding that she would consider
|
||
|
the matter with her aunt and that I might come back the next day
|
||
|
for their decision.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"The aunt will refuse; she will think the whole proceeding very louche!"
|
||
|
Mrs. Prest declared shortly after this, when I had resumed my place
|
||
|
in her gondola. She had put the idea into my head and now (so little
|
||
|
are women to be counted on) she appeared to take a despondent view of it.
|
||
|
Her pessimism provoked me and I pretended to have the best hopes; I went
|
||
|
so far as to say that I had a distinct presentiment that I should succeed.
|
||
|
Upon this Mrs. Prest broke out, "Oh, I see what's in your head!
|
||
|
You fancy you have made such an impression in a quarter of an hour that she
|
||
|
is dying for you to come and can be depended upon to bring the old one round.
|
||
|
If you do get in you'll count it as a triumph."
|
||
|
|
||
|
I did count it as a triumph, but only for the editor
|
||
|
(in the last analysis), not for the man, who had not the tradition
|
||
|
of personal conquest. When I went back on the morrow the little
|
||
|
maidservant conducted me straight through the long sala
|
||
|
(it opened there as before in perfect perspective and was lighter now,
|
||
|
which I thought a good omen) into the apartment from which
|
||
|
the recipient of my former visit had emerged on that occasion.
|
||
|
It was a large shabby parlor, with a fine old painted ceiling
|
||
|
and a strange figure sitting alone at one of the windows.
|
||
|
They come back to me now almost with the palpitation
|
||
|
they caused, the successive feelings that accompanied my
|
||
|
consciousness that as the door of the room closed behind
|
||
|
me I was really face to face with the Juliana of some
|
||
|
of Aspern's most exquisite and most renowned lyrics.
|
||
|
I grew used to her afterward, though never completely;
|
||
|
but as she sat there before me my heart beat as fast as if
|
||
|
the miracle of resurrection had taken place for my benefit.
|
||
|
Her presence seemed somehow to contain his, and I felt
|
||
|
nearer to him at that first moment of seeing her than I ever
|
||
|
had been before or ever have been since. Yes, I remember
|
||
|
my emotions in their order, even including a curious little
|
||
|
tremor that took me when I saw that the niece was not there.
|
||
|
With her, the day before, I had become sufficiently familiar,
|
||
|
but it almost exceeded my courage (much s I had longed for the event)
|
||
|
to be left alone with such a terrible relic as the aunt.
|
||
|
She was too strange, too literally resurgent. Then came a check,
|
||
|
with the perception that we were not really face to face,
|
||
|
inasmuch as she had over her eyes a horrible green shade which,
|
||
|
for her, served almost as a mask. I believed for the instant
|
||
|
that she had put it on expressly, so that from underneath it
|
||
|
she might scrutinize me without being scrutinized herself.
|
||
|
At the same time it increased the presumption that there was
|
||
|
a ghastly death's-head lurking behind it. The divine Juliana
|
||
|
as a grinning skull--the vision hung there until it passed.
|
||
|
Then it came to me that she WAS tremendously old--
|
||
|
so old that death might take her at any moment, before I had time
|
||
|
to get what I wanted from her. The next thought was a correction
|
||
|
to that; it lighted up the situation. She would die next week,
|
||
|
she would die tomorrow--then I could seize her papers.
|
||
|
Meanwhile she sat there neither moving nor speaking. She was
|
||
|
very small and shrunken, bent forward, with her hands in her lap.
|
||
|
She was dressed in black, and her head was wrapped in a piece
|
||
|
of old black lace which showed no hair.
|
||
|
|
||
|
My emotion keeping me silent she spoke first, and the remark
|
||
|
she made was exactly the most unexpected.
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
III
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Our house is very far from the center, but the little canal
|
||
|
is very comme il faut."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"It's the sweetest corner of Venice and I can imagine nothing more charming,"
|
||
|
I hastened to reply. The old lady's voice was very thin and weak, but it
|
||
|
had an agreeable, cultivated murmur, and there was wonder in the thought
|
||
|
that that individual note had been in Jeffrey Aspern's ear.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Please to sit down there. I hear very well,"
|
||
|
she said quietly, as if perhaps I had been shouting at her;
|
||
|
and the chair she pointed to was at a certain distance.
|
||
|
I took possession of it, telling her that I was perfectly
|
||
|
aware that I had intruded, that I had not been properly
|
||
|
introduced and could only throw myself upon her indulgence.
|
||
|
Perhaps the other lady, the one I had had the honor of seeing
|
||
|
the day before, would have explained to her about the garden.
|
||
|
That was literally what had given me courage to take a step
|
||
|
so unconventional. I had fallen in love at sight with the whole place
|
||
|
(she herself probably was so used to it that she did not know
|
||
|
the impression it was capable of making on a stranger), and I
|
||
|
had felt it was really a case to risk something. Was her own
|
||
|
kindness in receiving me a sign that I was not wholly out in
|
||
|
my calculation? It would render me extremely happy to think so.
|
||
|
I could give her my word of honor that I was a most respectable,
|
||
|
inoffensive person and that as an inmate they would be barely
|
||
|
conscious of my existence. I would conform to any regulations,
|
||
|
any restrictions if they would only let me enjoy the garden.
|
||
|
Moreover I should be delighted to give her references, guarantees;
|
||
|
they would be of the very best, both in Venice and in England
|
||
|
as well as in America.
|
||
|
|
||
|
She listened to me in perfect stillness and I felt that she was looking
|
||
|
at me with great attention, though I could see only the lower part
|
||
|
of her bleached and shriveled face. Independently of the refining
|
||
|
process of old age it had a delicacy which once must have been great.
|
||
|
She had been very fair, she had had a wonderful complexion.
|
||
|
She was silent a little after I had ceased speaking; then she inquired,
|
||
|
"If you are so fond of a garden why don't you go to terra firma,
|
||
|
where there are so many far better than this?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, it's the combination!" I answered, smiling; and then,
|
||
|
with rather a flight of fancy, "It's the idea of a garden
|
||
|
in the middle of the sea."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"It's not in the middle of the sea; you can't see the water."
|
||
|
|
||
|
I stared a moment, wondering whether she wished to convict me of fraud.
|
||
|
"Can't see the water? Why, dear madam, I can come up to the very gate
|
||
|
in my boat."
|
||
|
|
||
|
She appeared inconsequent, for she said vaguely in reply
|
||
|
to this, "Yes, if you have got a boat. I haven't any;
|
||
|
it's many years since I have been in one of the gondolas."
|
||
|
She uttered these words as if the gondolas were a curious
|
||
|
faraway craft which she knew only by hearsay.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Let me assure you of the pleasure with which I would put mine at
|
||
|
your service!" I exclaimed. I had scarcely said this, however, before I
|
||
|
became aware that the speech was in questionable taste and might also do me
|
||
|
the injury of making me appear too eager, too possessed of a hidden motive.
|
||
|
But the old woman remained impenetrable and her attitude bothered me
|
||
|
by suggesting that she had a fuller vision of me than I had of her.
|
||
|
She gave me no thanks for my somewhat extravagant offer but remarked that the
|
||
|
lady I had seen the day before was her niece; she would presently come in.
|
||
|
She had asked her to stay away a little on purpose, because she herself wished
|
||
|
to see me at first alone. She relapsed into silence, and I asked myself
|
||
|
why she had judged this necessary and what was coming yet; also whether
|
||
|
I might venture on some judicious remark in praise of her companion.
|
||
|
I went so far as to say that I should be delighted to see her again:
|
||
|
she had been so very courteous to me, considering how odd she must
|
||
|
have thought me--a declaration which drew from Miss Bordereau another
|
||
|
of her whimsical speeches.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"She has very good manners; I bred her up myself!" I was on the point
|
||
|
of saying that that accounted for the easy grace of the niece, but I
|
||
|
arrested myself in time, and the next moment the old woman went on:
|
||
|
"I don't care who you may be--I don't want to know; it signifies very
|
||
|
little today." This had all the air of being a formula of dismissal,
|
||
|
as if her next words would be that I might take myself off now that she had
|
||
|
had the amusement of looking on the face of such a monster of indiscretion.
|
||
|
Therefore I was all the more surprised when she added, with her soft,
|
||
|
venerable quaver, "You may have as many rooms as you like--if you will
|
||
|
pay a good deal of money."
|
||
|
|
||
|
I hesitated but for a single instant, long enough to ask
|
||
|
myself what she meant in particular by this condition.
|
||
|
First it struck me that she must have really a large sum
|
||
|
in her mind; then I reasoned quickly that her idea of a large
|
||
|
sum would probably not correspond to my own. My deliberation,
|
||
|
I think, was not so visible as to diminish the promptitude
|
||
|
with which I replied, "I will pay with pleasure and of course
|
||
|
in advance whatever you may think is proper to ask me."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well then, a thousand francs a month," she rejoined instantly,
|
||
|
while her baffling green shade continued to cover her attitude.
|
||
|
|
||
|
The figure, as they say, was startling and my logic had been at fault.
|
||
|
The sum she had mentioned was, by the Venetian measure of such matters,
|
||
|
exceedingly large; there was many an old palace in an out-of-the-way
|
||
|
corner that I might on such terms have enjoyed by the year.
|
||
|
But so far as my small means allowed I was prepared to spend money,
|
||
|
and my decision was quickly taken. I would pay her with a smiling face
|
||
|
what she asked, but in that case I would give myself the compensation
|
||
|
of extracting the papers from her for nothing. Moreover if she had asked
|
||
|
five times as much I should have risen to the occasion; so odious would
|
||
|
it have appeared to me to stand chaffering with Aspern's Juliana.
|
||
|
It was queer enough to have a question of money with her at all.
|
||
|
I assured her that her views perfectly met my own and that on the morrow
|
||
|
I should have the pleasure of putting three months' rent into her hand.
|
||
|
She received this announcement with serenity and with no apparent sense
|
||
|
that after all it would be becoming of her to say that I ought to see
|
||
|
the rooms first. This did not occur to her and indeed her serenity
|
||
|
was mainly what I wanted. Our little bargain was just concluded
|
||
|
when the door opened and the younger lady appeared on the threshold.
|
||
|
As soon as Miss Bordereau saw her niece she cried out almost gaily,
|
||
|
"He will give three thousand--three thousand tomorrow!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
Miss Tita stood still, with her patient eyes turning from one
|
||
|
of us to the other; then she inquired, scarcely above her breath,
|
||
|
"Do you mean francs?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Did you mean francs or dollars?" the old woman asked of me at this.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I think francs were what you said," I answered, smiling.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"That is very good," said Miss Tita, as if she had become conscious
|
||
|
that her own question might have looked overreaching.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"What do YOU know? You are ignorant," Miss Bordereau remarked;
|
||
|
not with acerbity but with a strange, soft coldness.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Yes, of money--certainly of money!" Miss Tita hastened to exclaim.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I am sure you have your own branches of knowledge,"
|
||
|
I took the liberty of saying, genially. There was something
|
||
|
painful to me, somehow, in the turn the conversation had taken,
|
||
|
in the discussion of the rent.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"She had a very good education when she was young.
|
||
|
I looked into that myself," said Miss Bordereau.
|
||
|
Then she added, "But she has learned nothing since."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I have always been with you," Miss Tita rejoined very mildly,
|
||
|
and evidently with no intention of making an epigram.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Yes, but for that!" her aunt declared with more satirical force.
|
||
|
She evidently meant that but for this her niece would never have got
|
||
|
on at all; the point of the observation however being lost on Miss Tita,
|
||
|
though she blushed at hearing her history revealed to a stranger.
|
||
|
Miss Bordereau went on, addressing herself to me: "And what time will
|
||
|
you come tomorrow with the money?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"The sooner the better. If it suits you I will come at noon."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I am always here but I have my hours," said the old woman,
|
||
|
as if her convenience were not to be taken for granted.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You mean the times when you receive?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I never receive. But I will see you at noon, when you come
|
||
|
with the money."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Very good, I shall be punctual;" and I added, "May I shake hands with you,
|
||
|
on our contract?" I thought there ought to be some little form, it would
|
||
|
make me really feel easier, for I foresaw that there would be no other.
|
||
|
Besides, though Miss Bordereau could not today be called personally attractive
|
||
|
and there was something even in her wasted antiquity that bade one stand at
|
||
|
one's distance, I felt an irresistible desire to hold in my own for a moment
|
||
|
the hand that Jeffrey Aspern had pressed.
|
||
|
|
||
|
For a minute she made no answer, and I saw that my proposal
|
||
|
failed to meet with her approbation. She indulged in no movement
|
||
|
of withdrawal, which I half-expected; she only said coldly,
|
||
|
"I belong to a time when that was not the custom."
|
||
|
|
||
|
I felt rather snubbed but I exclaimed good humoredly to Miss Tita,
|
||
|
"Oh, you will do as well!" I shook hands with her while she replied,
|
||
|
with a small flutter, "Yes, yes, to show it's all arranged!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Shall you bring the money in gold?" Miss Bordereau demanded,
|
||
|
as I was turning to the door.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I looked at her for a moment. "Aren't you a little afraid,
|
||
|
after all, of keeping such a sum as that in the house?"
|
||
|
It was not that I was annoyed at her avidity but I was really
|
||
|
struck with the disparity between such a treasure and such
|
||
|
scanty means of guarding it.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Whom should I be afraid of if I am not afraid of you?"
|
||
|
she asked with her shrunken grimness.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Ah well," said I, laughing, "I shall be in point of fact a protector and I
|
||
|
will bring gold if you prefer."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Thank you," the old woman returned with dignity and with an inclination
|
||
|
of her head which evidently signified that I might depart. I passed
|
||
|
out of the room, reflecting that it would not be easy to circumvent her.
|
||
|
As I stood in the sala again I saw that Miss Tita had followed me,
|
||
|
and I supposed that as her aunt had neglected to suggest that I should
|
||
|
take a look at my quarters it was her purpose to repair the omission.
|
||
|
But she made no such suggestion; she only stood there with a dim, though not
|
||
|
a languid smile, and with an effect of irresponsible, incompetent youth
|
||
|
which was almost comically at variance with the faded facts of her person.
|
||
|
She was not infirm, like her aunt, but she struck me as still more helpless,
|
||
|
because her inefficiency was spiritual, which was not the case with Miss
|
||
|
Bordereau's. I waited to see if she would offer to show me the rest
|
||
|
of the house, but I did not precipitate the question, inasmuch as my plan
|
||
|
was from this moment to spend as much of my time as possible in her society.
|
||
|
I only observed at the end of a minute:
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I have had better fortune than I hoped. It was very kind of her to see me.
|
||
|
Perhaps you said a good word for me."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"It was the idea of the money," said Miss Tita.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And did you suggest that?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I told her that you would perhaps give a good deal."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"What made you think that?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I told her I thought you were rich."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And what put that idea into your head?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I don't know; the way you talked."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Dear me, I must talk differently now," I declared.
|
||
|
"I'm sorry to say it's not the case."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well," said Miss Tita, "I think that in Venice the forestieri,
|
||
|
in general, often give a great deal for something that after all isn't much."
|
||
|
She appeared to make this remark with a comforting intention, to wish to
|
||
|
remind me that if I had been extravagant I was not really foolishly singular.
|
||
|
We walked together along the sala, and as I took its magnificent
|
||
|
measure I said to her that I was afraid it would not form a part of my
|
||
|
quartiere. Were my rooms by chance to be among those that opened into it?
|
||
|
"Not if you go above, on the second floor," she answered with a little
|
||
|
startled air, as if she had rather taken for granted I would know
|
||
|
my proper place.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And I infer that that's where your aunt would like me to be."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"She said your apartments ought to be very distinct."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"That certainly would be best." And I listened with respect
|
||
|
while she told me that up above I was free to take whatever I liked;
|
||
|
that there was another staircase, but only from the floor on which
|
||
|
we stood, and that to pass from it to the garden-story or to come
|
||
|
up to my lodging I should have in effect to cross the great hall.
|
||
|
This was an immense point gained; I foresaw that it would
|
||
|
constitute my whole leverage in my relations with the two ladies.
|
||
|
When I asked Miss Tita how I was to manage at present to find
|
||
|
my way up she replied with an access of that sociable shyness
|
||
|
which constantly marked her manner.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Perhaps you can't. I don't see--unless I should go with you."
|
||
|
She evidently had not thought of this before.
|
||
|
|
||
|
We ascended to the upper floor and visited a long succession of
|
||
|
empty rooms. The best of them looked over the garden; some of the others
|
||
|
had a view of the blue lagoon, above the opposite rough-tiled housetops.
|
||
|
They were all dusty and even a little disfigured with long neglect,
|
||
|
but I saw that by spending a few hundred francs I should be able
|
||
|
to convert three or four of them into a convenient habitation.
|
||
|
My experiment was turning out costly, yet now that I had all
|
||
|
but taken possession I ceased to allow this to trouble me.
|
||
|
I mentioned to my companion a few of the things that I should put in,
|
||
|
but she replied rather more precipitately than usual that I might
|
||
|
do exactly what I liked; she seemed to wish to notify me that the
|
||
|
Misses Bordereau would take no overt interest in my proceedings.
|
||
|
I guessed that her aunt had instructed her to adopt this tone, and I
|
||
|
may as well say now that I came afterward to distinguish perfectly
|
||
|
(as I believed) between the speeches she made on her own responsibility
|
||
|
and those the old lady imposed upon her. She took no notice of the unswept
|
||
|
condition of the rooms and indulged in no explanations nor apologies.
|
||
|
I said to myself that this was a sign that Juliana and her niece
|
||
|
(disenchanting idea!) were untidy persons, with a low Italian standard;
|
||
|
but I afterward recognized that a lodger who had forced an entrance
|
||
|
had no locus standi as a critic. We looked out of a good
|
||
|
many windows, for there was nothing within the rooms to look at,
|
||
|
and still I wanted to linger. I asked her what several different objects
|
||
|
in the prospect might be, but in no case did she appear to know.
|
||
|
She was evidently not familiar with the view--it was as if she
|
||
|
had not looked at it for years--and I presently saw that she was
|
||
|
too preoccupied with something else to pretend to care for it.
|
||
|
Suddenly she said--the remark was not suggested:
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I don't know whether it will make any difference to you,
|
||
|
but the money is for me."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"The money?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"The money you are going to bring."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Why, you'll make me wish to stay here two or three years."
|
||
|
I spoke as benevolently as possible, though it had begun to act
|
||
|
on my nerves that with these women so associated with Aspern
|
||
|
the pecuniary question should constantly come back.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"That would be very good for me," she replied, smiling.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You put me on my honor!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
She looked as if she failed to understand this, but went on:
|
||
|
"She wants me to have more. She thinks she is going to die."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Ah, not soon, I hope!" I exclaimed with genuine feeling.
|
||
|
I had perfectly considered the possibility that she would destroy
|
||
|
her papers on the day she should feel her end really approach.
|
||
|
I believed that she would cling to them till then, and I think
|
||
|
I had an idea that she read Aspern's letters over every night
|
||
|
or at least pressed them to her withered lips. I would have
|
||
|
given a good deal to have a glimpse of the latter spectacle.
|
||
|
I asked Miss Tita if the old lady were seriously ill, and she
|
||
|
replied that she was only very tired--she had lived so very,
|
||
|
very long. That was what she said herself--she wanted to die
|
||
|
for a change. Besides, all her friends were dead long ago;
|
||
|
either they ought to have remained or she ought to have gone.
|
||
|
That was another thing her aunt often said--she was not
|
||
|
at all content.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"But people don't die when they like, do they?" Miss Tita inquired.
|
||
|
I took the liberty of asking why, if there was actually enough money
|
||
|
to maintain both of them, there would not be more than enough in case
|
||
|
of her being left alone. She considered this difficult problem
|
||
|
a moment and then she said, "Oh, well, you know, she takes care of me.
|
||
|
She thinks that when I'm alone I shall be a great fool, I shall not know
|
||
|
how to manage."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I should have supposed that you took care of her.
|
||
|
I'm afraid she is very proud."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Why, have you discovered that already?" Miss Tita cried with the glimmer
|
||
|
of an illumination in her face.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I was shut up with her there for a considerable time, and she struck me,
|
||
|
she interested me extremely. It didn't take me long to make my discovery.
|
||
|
She won't have much to say to me while I'm here."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"No, I don't think she will," my companion averred.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Do you suppose she has some suspicion of me?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
Miss Tita's honest eyes gave me no sign that I had touched a mark.
|
||
|
"I shouldn't think so--letting you in after all so easily."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, so easily! she has covered her risk. But where is it
|
||
|
that one could take an advantage of her?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I oughtn't to tell you if I knew, ought I?" And Miss Tita added,
|
||
|
before I had time to reply to this, smiling dolefully, "Do you
|
||
|
think we have any weak points?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"That's exactly what I'm asking. You would only have to mention
|
||
|
them for me to respect them religiously."
|
||
|
|
||
|
She looked at me, at this, with that air of timid but candid
|
||
|
and even gratified curiosity with which she had confronted me
|
||
|
from the first; and then she said, "There is nothing to tell.
|
||
|
We are terribly quiet. I don't know how the days pass.
|
||
|
We have no life."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I wish I might think that I should bring you a little."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, we know what we want," she went on. "It's all right."
|
||
|
|
||
|
There were various things I desired to ask her: how in the world
|
||
|
they did live; whether they had any friends or visitors,
|
||
|
any relations in America or in other countries. But I judged such
|
||
|
an inquiry would be premature; I must leave it to a later chance.
|
||
|
"Well, don't YOU be proud," I contented myself with saying.
|
||
|
"Don't hide from me altogether."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, I must stay with my aunt," she returned, without looking at me.
|
||
|
And at the same moment, abruptly, without any ceremony of parting,
|
||
|
she quitted me and disappeared, leaving me to make my own way downstairs.
|
||
|
I remained a while longer, wandering about the bright desert (the sun was
|
||
|
pouring in) of the old house, thinking the situation over on the spot.
|
||
|
Not even the pattering little serva came to look after me, and I
|
||
|
reflected that after all this treatment showed confidence.
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
IV
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
Perhaps it did, but all the same, six weeks later,
|
||
|
toward the middle of June, the moment when Mrs. Prest undertook
|
||
|
her annual migration, I had made no measurable advance.
|
||
|
I was obliged to confess to her that I had no results to speak of.
|
||
|
My first step had been unexpectedly rapid, but there
|
||
|
was no appearance that it would be followed by a second.
|
||
|
I was a thousand miles from taking tea with my hostesses--
|
||
|
that privilege of which, as I reminded Mrs. Prest, we both
|
||
|
had had a vision. She reproached me with wanting boldness,
|
||
|
and I answered that even to be bold you must have an opportunity:
|
||
|
you may push on through a breach but you can't batter down
|
||
|
a dead wall. She answered that the breach I had already made
|
||
|
was big enough to admit an army and accused me of wasting precious
|
||
|
hours in whimpering in her salon when I ought to have been
|
||
|
carrying on the struggle in the field. It is true that I went
|
||
|
to see her very often, on the theory that it would console me
|
||
|
(I freely expressed my discouragement) for my want of success
|
||
|
on my own premises. But I began to perceive that it did
|
||
|
not console me to be perpetually chaffed for my scruples,
|
||
|
especially when I was really so vigilant; and I was rather
|
||
|
glad when my derisive friend closed her house for the summer.
|
||
|
She had expected to gather amusement from the drama of my
|
||
|
intercourse with the Misses Bordereau, and she was disappointed
|
||
|
that the intercourse, and consequently the drama, had not come off.
|
||
|
"They'll lead you on to your ruin," she said before she left Venice.
|
||
|
"They'll get all your money without showing you a scrap."
|
||
|
I think I settled down to my business with more concentration
|
||
|
after she had gone away.
|
||
|
|
||
|
It was a fact that up to that time I had not, save on a single
|
||
|
brief occasion, had even a moment's contact with my queer hostesses.
|
||
|
The exception had occurred when I carried them according
|
||
|
to my promise the terrible three thousand francs.
|
||
|
Then I found Miss Tita waiting for me in the hall, and she
|
||
|
took the money from my hand so that I did not see her aunt.
|
||
|
The old lady had promised to receive me, but she apparently
|
||
|
thought nothing of breaking that vow. The money was contained
|
||
|
in a bag of chamois leather, of respectable dimensions,
|
||
|
which my banker had given me, and Miss Tita had to make a big
|
||
|
fist to receive it. This she did with extreme solemnity,
|
||
|
though I tried to treat the affair a little as a joke.
|
||
|
It was in no jocular strain, yet it was with simplicity,
|
||
|
that she inquired, weighing the money in her two palms:
|
||
|
"Don't you think it's too much?" To which I replied that that
|
||
|
would depend upon the amount of pleasure I should get for it.
|
||
|
Hereupon she turned away from me quickly, as she had done
|
||
|
the day before, murmuring in a tone different from any she had
|
||
|
used hitherto: "Oh, pleasure, pleasure--there's no pleasure
|
||
|
in this house!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
After this, for a long time, I never saw her, and I wondered that
|
||
|
the common chances of the day should not have helped us to meet.
|
||
|
It could only be evident that she was immensely on her guard
|
||
|
against them; and in addition to this the house was so big that
|
||
|
for each other we were lost in it. I used to look out for her
|
||
|
hopefully as I crossed the sala in my comings and goings,
|
||
|
but I was not rewarded with a glimpse of the tail of her dress.
|
||
|
It was as if she never peeped out of her aunt's apartment.
|
||
|
I used to wonder what she did there week after week and year
|
||
|
after year. I had never encountered such a violent parti pris
|
||
|
of seclusion; it was more than keeping quiet--it was like hunted
|
||
|
creatures feigning death. The two ladies appeared to have
|
||
|
no visitors whatever and no sort of contact with the world.
|
||
|
I judged at least that people could not have come to the house
|
||
|
and that Miss Tita could not have gone out without my having
|
||
|
some observation of it. I did what I disliked myself for doing
|
||
|
(reflecting that it was only once in a way): I questioned
|
||
|
my servant about their habits and let him divine that I
|
||
|
should be interested in any information he could pick up.
|
||
|
But he picked up amazingly little for a knowing Venetian:
|
||
|
it must be added that where there is a perpetual fast there
|
||
|
are very few crumbs on the floor. His cleverness in other ways
|
||
|
was sufficient, if it was not quite all that I had attributed
|
||
|
to him on the occasion of my first interview with Miss Tita.
|
||
|
He had helped my gondolier to bring me round a boatload of furniture;
|
||
|
and when these articles had been carried to the top of the palace
|
||
|
and distributed according to our associated wisdom he organized
|
||
|
my household with such promptitude as was consistent with the fact
|
||
|
that it was composed exclusively of himself. He made me in short
|
||
|
as comfortable as I could be with my indifferent prospects.
|
||
|
I should have been glad if he had fallen in love with Miss
|
||
|
Bordereau's maid or, failing this, had taken her in aversion;
|
||
|
either event might have brought about some kind of catastrophe,
|
||
|
and a catastrophe might have led to some parley.
|
||
|
It was my idea that she would have been sociable, and I
|
||
|
myself on various occasions saw her flit to and fro on
|
||
|
domestic errands, so that I was sure she was accessible.
|
||
|
But I tasted of no gossip from that fountain, and I
|
||
|
afterward learned that Pasquale's affections were fixed
|
||
|
upon an object that made him heedless of other women.
|
||
|
This was a young lady with a powdered face, a yellow cotton gown,
|
||
|
and much leisure, who used often to come to see him.
|
||
|
She practiced, at her convenience, the art of a stringer of beads
|
||
|
(these ornaments are made in Venice, in profusion; she had
|
||
|
her pocket full of them, and I used to find them on the floor
|
||
|
of my apartment), and kept an eye on the maiden in the house.
|
||
|
It was not for me of course to make the domestics tattle,
|
||
|
and I never said a word to Miss Bordereau's cook.
|
||
|
|
||
|
It seemed to me a proof of the old lady's determination
|
||
|
to have nothing to do with me that she should never have
|
||
|
sent me a receipt for my three months' rent. For some days
|
||
|
I looked out for it and then, when I had given it up,
|
||
|
I wasted a good deal of time in wondering what her reason
|
||
|
had been for neglecting so indispensable and familiar a form.
|
||
|
At first I was tempted to send her a reminder, after which I
|
||
|
relinquished the idea (against my judgment as to what was right
|
||
|
in the particular case), on the general ground of wishing
|
||
|
to keep quiet. If Miss Bordereau suspected me of ulterior
|
||
|
aims she would suspect me less if I should be businesslike,
|
||
|
and yet I consented not to be so. It was possible she intended
|
||
|
her omission as an impertinence, a visible irony, to show
|
||
|
how she could overreach people who attempted to overreach her.
|
||
|
On that hypothesis it was well to let her see that one did
|
||
|
not notice her little tricks. The real reading of the matter,
|
||
|
I afterward perceived, was simply the poor old woman's desire
|
||
|
to emphasize the fact that I was in the enjoyment of a favor
|
||
|
as rigidly limited as it had been liberally bestowed.
|
||
|
She had given me part of her house, and now she would
|
||
|
not give me even a morsel of paper with her name on it.
|
||
|
Let me say that even at first this did not make me too miserable,
|
||
|
for the whole episode was essentially delightful to me.
|
||
|
I foresaw that I should have a summer after my own literary heart,
|
||
|
and the sense of holding my opportunity was much greater than
|
||
|
the sense of losing it. There could be no Venetian business
|
||
|
without patience, and since I adored the place I was much
|
||
|
more in the spirit of it for having laid in a large provision.
|
||
|
That spirit kept me perpetual company and seemed to look
|
||
|
out at me from the revived immortal face--in which all
|
||
|
his genius shone--of the great poet who was my prompter.
|
||
|
I had invoked him and he had come; he hovered before me half the time;
|
||
|
it was as if his bright ghost had returned to earth to tell me
|
||
|
that he regarded the affair as his own no less than mine and
|
||
|
that we should see it fraternally, cheerfully to a conclusion.
|
||
|
It was as if he had said, "Poor dear, be easy with her;
|
||
|
she has some natural prejudices; only give her time.
|
||
|
Strange as it may appear to you she was very attractive in 1820.
|
||
|
Meanwhile are we not in Venice together, and what better
|
||
|
place is there for the meeting of dear friends?
|
||
|
See how it glows with the advancing summer; how the sky
|
||
|
and the sea and the rosy air and the marble of the palaces
|
||
|
all shimmer and melt together." My eccentric private errand
|
||
|
became a part of the general romance and the general glory--
|
||
|
I felt even a mystic companionship, a moral fraternity with all
|
||
|
those who in the past had been in the service of art. They had
|
||
|
worked for beauty, for a devotion; and what else was I doing?
|
||
|
That element was in everything that Jeffrey Aspern had written,
|
||
|
and I was only bringing it to the light.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I lingered in the sala when I went to and fro; I used to watch--
|
||
|
as long as I thought decent--the door that led to Miss Bordereau's part
|
||
|
of the house. A person observing me might have supposed I was trying
|
||
|
to cast a spell upon it or attempting some odd experiment in hypnotism.
|
||
|
But I was only praying it would open or thinking what treasure probably
|
||
|
lurked behind it. I hold it singular, as I look back, that I should never
|
||
|
have doubted for a moment that the sacred relics were there; never have
|
||
|
failed to feel a certain joy at being under the same roof with them.
|
||
|
After all they were under my hand--they had not escaped me yet;
|
||
|
and they made my life continuous, in a fashion, with the illustrious
|
||
|
life they had touched at the other end. I lost myself in this
|
||
|
satisfaction to the point of assuming--in my quiet extravagance--
|
||
|
that poor Miss Tita also went back, went back, as I used to phrase it.
|
||
|
She did indeed, the gentle spinster, but not quite so far as Jeffrey Aspern,
|
||
|
who was simply hearsay to her, quite as he was to me. Only she had
|
||
|
lived for years with Juliana, she had seen and handled the papers and
|
||
|
(even though she was stupid) some esoteric knowledge had rubbed off on her.
|
||
|
That was what the old woman represented--esoteric knowledge;
|
||
|
and this was the idea with which my editorial heart used to thrill.
|
||
|
It literally beat faster often, of an evening, when I had been out,
|
||
|
as I stopped with my candle in the re-echoing hall on my way up to bed.
|
||
|
It was as if at such a moment as that, in the stillness, after the long
|
||
|
contradiction of the day, Miss Bordereau's secrets were in the air,
|
||
|
the wonder of her survival more palpable. These were the acute impressions.
|
||
|
I had them in another form, with more of a certain sort of reciprocity,
|
||
|
during the hours that I sat in the garden looking up over the top
|
||
|
of my book at the closed windows of my hostess. In these windows
|
||
|
no sign of life ever appeared; it was as if, for fear of my catching
|
||
|
a glimpse of them, the two ladies passed their days in the dark.
|
||
|
But this only proved to me that they had something to conceal;
|
||
|
which was what I had wished to demonstrate. Their motionless shutters
|
||
|
became as expressive as eyes consciously closed, and I took comfort
|
||
|
in thinking that at all events through invisible themselves they saw me
|
||
|
between the lashes.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I made a point of spending as much time as possible in the garden,
|
||
|
to justify the picture I had originally given of my horticultural passion.
|
||
|
And I not only spent time, but (hang it! as I said) I spent money.
|
||
|
As soon as I had got my rooms arranged and could give the proper
|
||
|
thought to the matter I surveyed the place with a clever expert
|
||
|
and made terms for having it put in order. I was sorry to do this,
|
||
|
for personally I liked it better as it was, with its weeds and its wild,
|
||
|
rough tangle, its sweet, characteristic Venetian shabbiness.
|
||
|
I had to be consistent, to keep my promise that I would smother
|
||
|
the house in flowers. Moreover I formed this graceful project that
|
||
|
by flowers I would make my way--I would succeed by big nosegays.
|
||
|
I would batter the old women with lilies--I would bombard their
|
||
|
citadel with roses. Their door would have to yield to the pressure
|
||
|
when a mountain of carnations should be piled up against it.
|
||
|
The place in truth had been brutally neglected. The Venetian capacity
|
||
|
for dawdling is of the largest, and for a good many days unlimited
|
||
|
litter was all my gardener had to show for his ministrations.
|
||
|
There was a great digging of holes and carting about of earth,
|
||
|
and after a while I grew so impatient that I had thoughts of
|
||
|
sending for my bouquets to the nearest stand. But I reflected
|
||
|
that the ladies would see through the chinks of their shutters
|
||
|
that they must have been bought and might make up their minds
|
||
|
from this that I was a humbug. So I composed myself and finally,
|
||
|
though the delay was long, perceived some appearances of bloom.
|
||
|
This encouraged me, and I waited serenely enough till they multiplied.
|
||
|
Meanwhile the real summer days arrived and began to pass, and as I
|
||
|
look back upon them they seem to me almost the happiest of my life.
|
||
|
I took more and more care to be in the garden whenever it was not too hot.
|
||
|
I had an arbor arranged and a low table and an armchair put into it;
|
||
|
and I carried out books and portfolios (I had always some business
|
||
|
of writing in hand), and worked and waited and mused and hoped,
|
||
|
while the golden hours elapsed and the plants drank in the light
|
||
|
and the inscrutable old palace turned pale and then, as the day waned,
|
||
|
began to flush in it and my papers rustled in the wandering breeze
|
||
|
of the Adriatic.
|
||
|
|
||
|
Considering how little satisfaction I got from it at first it
|
||
|
is remarkable that I should not have grown more tired of wondering
|
||
|
what mystic rites of ennui the Misses Bordereau celebrated in their
|
||
|
darkened rooms; whether this had always been the tenor of their life
|
||
|
and how in previous years they had escaped elbowing their neighbors.
|
||
|
It was clear that they must have had other habits and other circumstances;
|
||
|
that they must once have been young or at least middle-aged.
|
||
|
There was no end to the questions it was possible to ask about
|
||
|
them and no end to the answers it was not possible to frame.
|
||
|
I had known many of my country-people in Europe and was familiar
|
||
|
with the strange ways they were liable to take up there; but the Misses
|
||
|
Bordereau formed altogether a new type of the American absentee.
|
||
|
Indeed it was plain that the American name had ceased to have
|
||
|
any application to them--I had seen this in the ten minutes I
|
||
|
spent in the old woman's room. You could never have said whence
|
||
|
they came, from the appearance of either of them; wherever it
|
||
|
was they had long ago dropped the local accent and fashion.
|
||
|
There was nothing in them that one recognized, and putting the question
|
||
|
of speech aside they might have been Norwegians or Spaniards.
|
||
|
Miss Bordereau, after all, had been in Europe nearly three-quarters
|
||
|
of a century; it appeared by some verses addressed to her by
|
||
|
Aspern on the occasion of his own second absence from America--
|
||
|
verses of which Cumnor and I had after infinite conjecture
|
||
|
established solidly enough the date--that she was even then,
|
||
|
as a girl of twenty, on the foreign side of the sea.
|
||
|
There was an implication in the poem (I hope not just for the phrase)
|
||
|
that he had come back for her sake. We had no real light upon her
|
||
|
circumstances at that moment, any more than we had upon her origin,
|
||
|
which we believed to be of the sort usually spoken of as modest.
|
||
|
Cumnor had a theory that she had been a governess in some family
|
||
|
in which the poet visited and that, in consequence of her position,
|
||
|
there was from the first something unavowed, or rather something
|
||
|
positively clandestine, in their relations. I on the other hand
|
||
|
had hatched a little romance according to which she was the daughter
|
||
|
of an artist, a painter or a sculptor, who had left the western
|
||
|
world when the century was fresh, to study in the ancient schools.
|
||
|
It was essential to my hypothesis that this amiable man should have
|
||
|
lost his wife, should have been poor and unsuccessful and should
|
||
|
have had a second daughter, of a disposition quite different
|
||
|
from Juliana's. It was also indispensable that he should have been
|
||
|
accompanied to Europe by these young ladies and should have established
|
||
|
himself there for the remainder of a struggling, saddened life.
|
||
|
There was a further implication that Miss Bordereau had had in her youth
|
||
|
a perverse and adventurous, albeit a generous and fascinating character,
|
||
|
and that she had passed through some singular vicissitudes.
|
||
|
By what passions had she been ravaged, by what sufferings had
|
||
|
she been blanched, what store of memories had she laid away for
|
||
|
the monotonous future?
|
||
|
|
||
|
I asked myself these things as I sat spinning theories
|
||
|
about her in my arbor and the bees droned in the flowers.
|
||
|
It was incontestable that, whether for right or for wrong,
|
||
|
most readers of certain of Aspern's poems (poems not as
|
||
|
ambiguous as the sonnets--scarcely more divine, I think--
|
||
|
of Shakespeare) had taken for granted that Juliana had
|
||
|
not always adhered to the steep footway of renunciation.
|
||
|
There hovered about her name a perfume of reckless passion,
|
||
|
an intimation that she had not been exactly as the respectable
|
||
|
young person in general. Was this a sign that her singer had
|
||
|
betrayed her, had given her away, as we say nowadays, to posterity?
|
||
|
Certain it is that it would have been difficult to put one's finger
|
||
|
on the passage in which her fair fame suffered an imputation.
|
||
|
Moreover was not any fame fair enough that was so sure of duration
|
||
|
and was associated with works immortal through their beauty?
|
||
|
It was a part of my idea that the young lady had had
|
||
|
a foreign lover (and an unedifying tragical rupture)
|
||
|
before her meeting with Jeffrey Aspern. She had lived with
|
||
|
her father and sister in a queer old-fashioned, expatriated,
|
||
|
artistic Bohemia, in the days when the aesthetic was only
|
||
|
the academic and the painters who knew the best models for a
|
||
|
contadina and pifferaro wore peaked hats and long hair.
|
||
|
It was a society less furnished than the coteries of today
|
||
|
(in its ignorance of the wonderful chances, the opportunities
|
||
|
of the early bird, with which its path was strewn),
|
||
|
with tatters of old stuff and fragments of old crockery;
|
||
|
so that Miss Bordereau appeared not to have picked up or have
|
||
|
inherited many objects of importance. There was no enviable
|
||
|
bric-a-brac, with its provoking legend of cheapness, in the room
|
||
|
in which I had seen her. Such a fact as that suggested bareness,
|
||
|
but nonetheless it worked happily into the sentimental
|
||
|
interest I had always taken in the early movements of my
|
||
|
countrymen as visitors to Europe. When Americans went abroad
|
||
|
in 1820 there was something romantic, almost heroic in it,
|
||
|
as compared with the perpetual ferryings of the present hour,
|
||
|
when photography and other conveniences have annihilated surprise.
|
||
|
Miss Bordereau sailed with her family on a tossing brig,
|
||
|
in the days of long voyages and sharp differences; she had her
|
||
|
emotions on the top of yellow diligences, passed the night
|
||
|
at inns where she dreamed of travelers' tales, and was struck,
|
||
|
on reaching the Eternal City, with the elegance of Roman pearls
|
||
|
and scarfs. There was something touching to me in all that,
|
||
|
and my imagination frequently went back to the period.
|
||
|
If Miss Bordereau carried it there of course Jeffrey Aspern
|
||
|
at other times had done so a great deal more. It was a much
|
||
|
more important fact, if one were looking at his genius critically,
|
||
|
that he had lived in the days before the general transfusion.
|
||
|
It had happened to me to regret that he had known Europe at all;
|
||
|
I should have liked to see what he would have written without
|
||
|
that experience, by which he had incontestably been enriched.
|
||
|
But as his fate had ordered otherwise I went with him--
|
||
|
I tried to judge how the Old World would have struck him.
|
||
|
It was not only there, however, that I watched him; the relations
|
||
|
he had entertained with the new had even a livelier interest.
|
||
|
His own country after all had had most of his life, and his muse,
|
||
|
as they said at that time, was essentially American.
|
||
|
That was originally what I had loved him for: that at a period
|
||
|
when our native land was nude and crude and provincial,
|
||
|
when the famous "atmosphere" it is supposed to lack was not
|
||
|
even missed, when literature was lonely there and art and form
|
||
|
almost impossible, he had found means to live and write like one
|
||
|
of the first; to be free and general and not at all afraid;
|
||
|
to feel, understand, and express everything.
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
V
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
I was seldom at home in the evening, for when I attempted to
|
||
|
occupy myself in my apartments the lamplight brought in a swarm
|
||
|
of noxious insects, and it was too hot for closed windows.
|
||
|
Accordingly I spent the late hours either on the water
|
||
|
(the moonlight of Venice is famous), or in the splendid square
|
||
|
which serves as a vast forecourt to the strange old basilica
|
||
|
of Saint Mark. I sat in front of Florian's cafe, eating ices,
|
||
|
listening to music, talking with acquaintances: the traveler
|
||
|
will remember how the immense cluster of tables and little chairs
|
||
|
stretches like a promontory into the smooth lake of the Piazza.
|
||
|
The whole place, of a summer's evening, under the stars and with
|
||
|
all the lamps, all the voices and light footsteps on marble
|
||
|
(the only sounds of the arcades that enclose it), is like an open-air
|
||
|
saloon dedicated to cooling drinks and to a still finer degustation--
|
||
|
that of the exquisite impressions received during the day.
|
||
|
When I did not prefer to keep mine to myself there was always
|
||
|
a stray tourist, disencumbered of his Baedeker, to discuss them with,
|
||
|
or some domesticated painter rejoicing in the return of the season
|
||
|
of strong effects. The wonderful church, with its low domes and
|
||
|
bristling embroideries, the mystery of its mosaic and sculpture,
|
||
|
looking ghostly in the tempered gloom, and the sea breeze passed
|
||
|
between the twin columns of the Piazzetta, the lintels of a door no
|
||
|
longer guarded, as gently as if a rich curtain were swaying there.
|
||
|
I used sometimes on these occasions to think of the Misses Bordereau
|
||
|
and of the pity of their being shut up in apartments which in the Venetian
|
||
|
July even Venetian vastness did not prevent from being stuffy.
|
||
|
Their life seemed miles away from the life of the Piazza, and no doubt
|
||
|
it was really too late to make the austere Juliana change her habits.
|
||
|
But poor Miss Tita would have enjoyed one of Florian's ices, I was sure;
|
||
|
sometimes I even had thoughts of carrying one home to her.
|
||
|
Fortunately my patience bore fruit, and I was not obliged to do
|
||
|
anything so ridiculous.
|
||
|
|
||
|
One evening about the middle of July I came in earlier than usual--
|
||
|
I forget what chance had led to this--and instead of going up to my
|
||
|
quarters made my way into the garden. The temperature was very high;
|
||
|
it was such a night as one would gladly have spent in the open air,
|
||
|
and I was in no hurry to go to bed. I had floated home in my gondola,
|
||
|
listening to the slow splash of the oar in the narrow dark canals,
|
||
|
and now the only thought that solicited me was the vague reflection
|
||
|
that it would be pleasant to recline at one's length in the fragrant
|
||
|
darkness on a garden bench. The odor of the canal was doubtless
|
||
|
at the bottom of that aspiration and the breath of the garden,
|
||
|
as I entered it, gave consistency to my purpose. it was delicious--
|
||
|
just such an air as must have trembled with Romeo's vows when he stood
|
||
|
among the flowers and raised his arms to his mistress's balcony.
|
||
|
I looked at the windows of the palace to see if by chance
|
||
|
the example of Verona (Verona being not far off) had been followed;
|
||
|
but everything was dim, as usual, and everything was still.
|
||
|
Juliana, on summer nights in her youth, might have murmured down
|
||
|
from open windows at Jeffrey Aspern, but Miss Tita was not a poet's
|
||
|
mistress any more than I was a poet. This however did not prevent
|
||
|
my gratification from being great as I became aware on reaching
|
||
|
the end of the garden that Miss Tita was seated in my little bower.
|
||
|
At first I only made out an indistinct figure, not in the least
|
||
|
counting on such an overture from one of my hostesses;
|
||
|
it even occurred to me that some sentimental maidservant had stolen
|
||
|
in to keep a tryst with her sweetheart. I was going to turn away,
|
||
|
not to frighten her, when the figure rose to its height and I
|
||
|
recognized Miss Bordereau's niece. I must do myself the justice to say
|
||
|
that I did not wish to frighten her either, and much as I had longed
|
||
|
for some such accident I should have been capable of retreating.
|
||
|
It was as if I had laid a trap for her by coming home earlier than
|
||
|
usual and adding to that eccentricity by creeping into the garden.
|
||
|
As she rose she spoke to me, and then I reflected that perhaps,
|
||
|
secure in my almost inveterate absence, it was her nightly practice
|
||
|
to take a lonely airing. There was no trap, in truth, because I
|
||
|
had had no suspicion. At first I took for granted that the words
|
||
|
she uttered expressed discomfiture at my arrival; but as she
|
||
|
repeated them--I had not caught them clearly--I had the surprise
|
||
|
of hearing her say, "Oh, dear, I'm so very glad you've come!"
|
||
|
She and her aunt had in common the property of unexpected speeches.
|
||
|
She came out of the arbor almost as if she were going to throw
|
||
|
herself into my arms.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I hasten to add that she did nothing of the kind; she did not even
|
||
|
shake hands with me. It was a gratification to her to see me
|
||
|
and presently she told me why--because she was nervous when she
|
||
|
was out-of-doors at night alone. The plants and bushes looked
|
||
|
so strange in the dark, and there were all sorts of queer sounds--
|
||
|
she could not tell what they were--like the noises of animals.
|
||
|
She stood close to me, looking about her with an air of greater security
|
||
|
but without any demonstration of interest in me as an individual.
|
||
|
Then I guessed that nocturnal prowlings were not in the least her habit,
|
||
|
and I was also reminded (I had been struck with the circumstance
|
||
|
in talking with her before I took possession) that it was impossible
|
||
|
to overestimate her simplicity.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You speak as if you were lost in the backwoods," I said, laughing.
|
||
|
"How you manage to keep out of this charming place when you have only three
|
||
|
steps to take to get into it is more than I have yet been able to discover.
|
||
|
You hide away mighty well so long as I am on the premises, I know;
|
||
|
but I had a hope that you peeped out a little at other times.
|
||
|
You and your poor aunt are worse off than Carmelite nuns in their cells.
|
||
|
Should you mind telling me how you exist without air, without exercise,
|
||
|
without any sort of human contact? I don't see how you carry on the common
|
||
|
business of life."
|
||
|
|
||
|
She looked at me as if I were talking some strange tongue, and her
|
||
|
answer was so little of an answer that I was considerably irritated.
|
||
|
"We go to bed very early--earlier than you would believe."
|
||
|
I was on the point of saying that this only deepened the mystery when she
|
||
|
gave me some relief by adding, "Before you came we were not so private.
|
||
|
But I never have been out at night."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Never in these fragrant alleys, blooming here under your nose?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Ah," said Miss Tita, "they were never nice till now!" There was
|
||
|
an unmistakable reference in this and a flattering comparison,
|
||
|
so that it seemed to me I had gained a small advantage.
|
||
|
As it would help me to follow it up to establish a sort of
|
||
|
grievance I asked her why, since she thought my garden nice,
|
||
|
she had never thanked me in any way for the flowers I had been
|
||
|
sending up in such quantities for the previous three weeks.
|
||
|
I had not been discouraged--there had been, as she would
|
||
|
have observed, a daily armful; but I had been brought up
|
||
|
in the common forms and a word of recognition now and then
|
||
|
would have touched me in the right place.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Why I didn't know they were for me!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"They were for both of you. Why should I make a difference?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
Miss Tita reflected as if she might by thinking of a reason for that,
|
||
|
but she failed to produce one. Instead of this she asked abruptly,
|
||
|
"Why in the world do you want to know us?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I ought after all to make a difference," I replied.
|
||
|
"That question is your aunt's; it isn't yours. You wouldn't
|
||
|
ask it if you hadn't been put up to it."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"She didn't tell me to ask you," Miss Tita replied without confusion;
|
||
|
she was the oddest mixture of the shrinking and the direct.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well, she has often wondered about it herself and expressed
|
||
|
her wonder to you. She has insisted on it, so that she has
|
||
|
put the idea into your head that I am insufferably pushing.
|
||
|
Upon my word I think I have been very discreet.
|
||
|
And how completely your aunt must have lost every tradition
|
||
|
of sociability, to see anything out of the way in the idea
|
||
|
that respectable intelligent people, living as we do under
|
||
|
the same roof, should occasionally exchange a remark!
|
||
|
What could be more natural? We are of the same country,
|
||
|
and we have at least some of the same tastes, since, like you,
|
||
|
I am intensely fond of Venice."
|
||
|
|
||
|
My interlocutress appeared incapable of grasping more than one clause
|
||
|
in any proposition, and she declared quickly, eagerly, as if she were
|
||
|
answering my whole speech: "I am not in the least fond of Venice.
|
||
|
I should like to go far away!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Has she always kept you back so?" I went on, to show her that I
|
||
|
could be as irrelevant as herself.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"She told me to come out tonight; she has told me very often,"
|
||
|
said Miss Tita. "It is I who wouldn't come. I don't like
|
||
|
to leave her."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Is she too weak, is she failing?" I demanded, with more emotion,
|
||
|
I think, than I intended to show. I judged this by the way
|
||
|
her eyes rested upon me in the darkness. It embarrassed me
|
||
|
a little, and to turn the matter off I continued genially:
|
||
|
"Do let us sit down together comfortably somewhere, and you
|
||
|
will tell me all about her."
|
||
|
|
||
|
Miss Tita made no resistance to this. We found a bench
|
||
|
less secluded, less confidential, as it were, than the one
|
||
|
in the arbor; and we were still sitting there when I heard
|
||
|
midnight ring out from those clear bells of Venice which
|
||
|
vibrate with a solemnity of their own over the lagoon and hold
|
||
|
the air so much more than the chimes of other places.
|
||
|
We were together more than an hour, and our interview gave,
|
||
|
as it struck me, a great lift to my undertaking.
|
||
|
Miss Tita accepted the situation without a protest;
|
||
|
she had avoided me for three months, yet now she treated me
|
||
|
almost as if these three months had made me an old friend.
|
||
|
If I had chosen I might have inferred from this that though
|
||
|
she had avoided me she had given a good deal of consideration
|
||
|
to doing so. She paid no attention to the flight of time--
|
||
|
never worried at my keeping her so long away from her aunt.
|
||
|
She talked freely, answering questions and asking them and not
|
||
|
even taking advantage of certain longish pauses with which they
|
||
|
inevitably alternated to say she thought she had better go in.
|
||
|
It was almost as if she were waiting for something--something I
|
||
|
might say to her--and intended to give me my opportunity.
|
||
|
I was the more struck by this as she told me that her aunt
|
||
|
had been less well for a good many days and in a way that was
|
||
|
rather new. She was weaker; at moments it seemed as if she
|
||
|
had no strength at all; yet more than ever before she wished
|
||
|
to be left alone. That was why she had told her to come out--
|
||
|
not even to remain in her own room, which was alongside;
|
||
|
she said her niece irritated her, made her nervous.
|
||
|
She sat still for hours together, as if she were asleep;
|
||
|
she had always done that, musing and dozing; but at such times
|
||
|
formerly she gave at intervals some small sign of life,
|
||
|
of interest, liking her companion to be near her with her work.
|
||
|
Miss Tita confided to me that at present her aunt was so
|
||
|
motionless that she sometimes feared she was dead; moreover she
|
||
|
took hardly any food--one couldn't see what she lived on.
|
||
|
The great thing was that she still on most days got up;
|
||
|
the serious job was to dress her, to wheel her out of her bedroom.
|
||
|
She clung to as many of her old habits as possible and she
|
||
|
had always, little company as they had received for years,
|
||
|
made a point of sitting in the parlor.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I scarcely knew what to think of all this--of Miss Tita's
|
||
|
sudden conversion to sociability and of the strange
|
||
|
circumstance that the more the old lady appeared to decline
|
||
|
toward her end the less she should desire to be looked after.
|
||
|
The story did not hang together, and I even asked myself whether
|
||
|
it were not a trap laid for me, the result of a design to make
|
||
|
me show my hand. I could not have told why my companions
|
||
|
(as they could only by courtesy be called) should have this purpose--
|
||
|
why they should try to trip up so lucrative a lodger.
|
||
|
At any rate I kept on my guard, so that Miss Tita should not
|
||
|
have occasion again to ask me if I had an arriere-pensee.
|
||
|
Poor woman, before we parted for the night my mind was at rest
|
||
|
as to HER capacity for entertaining one.
|
||
|
|
||
|
She told me more about their affairs than I had hoped;
|
||
|
there was no need to be prying, for it evidently drew
|
||
|
her out simply to feel that I listened, that I cared.
|
||
|
She ceased wondering why I cared, and at last, as she spoke of
|
||
|
the brilliant life they had led years before, she almost chattered.
|
||
|
It was Miss Tita who judged it brilliant; she said that when they
|
||
|
first came to live in Venice, years and years before (I saw
|
||
|
that her mind was essentially vague about dates and the order
|
||
|
in which events had occurred), there was scarcely a week
|
||
|
that they had not some visitor or did not make some delightful
|
||
|
passeggio in the city. They had seen all the curiosities;
|
||
|
they had even been to the Lido in a boat (she spoke as if I might
|
||
|
think there was a way on foot); they had had a collation there,
|
||
|
brought in three baskets and spread out on the grass.
|
||
|
I asked her what people they had known and she said, Oh! very
|
||
|
nice ones--the Cavaliere Bombicci and the Contessa Altemura,
|
||
|
with whom they had had a great friendship. Also English people--
|
||
|
the Churtons and the Goldies and Mrs. Stock-Stock, whom
|
||
|
they had loved dearly; she was dead and gone, poor dear.
|
||
|
That was the case with most of their pleasant circle
|
||
|
(this expression was Miss Tita's own), though a few were left,
|
||
|
which was a wonder considering how they had neglected them.
|
||
|
She mentioned the names of two or three Venetian old women; of a
|
||
|
certain doctor, very clever, who was so kind--he came as a friend,
|
||
|
he had really given up practice; of the avvocato Pochintesta,
|
||
|
who wrote beautiful poems and had addressed one to her aunt.
|
||
|
These people came to see them without fail every year,
|
||
|
usually at the capo d'anno, and of old her aunt used
|
||
|
to make them some little present--her aunt and she together:
|
||
|
small things that she, Miss Tita, made herself, like paper
|
||
|
lampshades or mats for the decanters of wine at dinner or those
|
||
|
woolen things that in cold weather were worn on the wrists.
|
||
|
The last few years there had not been many presents;
|
||
|
she could not think what to make, and her aunt had lost her
|
||
|
interest and never suggested. But the people came all the same;
|
||
|
if the Venetians liked you once they liked you forever.
|
||
|
|
||
|
There was something affecting in the good faith of this
|
||
|
sketch of former social glories; the picnic at the Lido had
|
||
|
remained vivid through the ages, and poor Miss Tita evidently
|
||
|
was of the impression that she had had a brilliant youth.
|
||
|
She had in fact had a glimpse of the Venetian world in
|
||
|
its gossiping, home-keeping, parsimonious, professional walks;
|
||
|
for I observed for the first time that she had acquired
|
||
|
by contact something of the trick of the familiar,
|
||
|
soft-sounding, almost infantile speech of the place.
|
||
|
I judged that she had imbibed this invertebrate dialect
|
||
|
from the natural way the names of things and people--
|
||
|
mostly purely local--rose to her lips. If she knew little
|
||
|
of what they represented she knew still less of anything else.
|
||
|
Her aunt had drawn in--her failing interest in the table mats
|
||
|
and lampshades was a sign of that--and she had not been able
|
||
|
to mingle in society or to entertain it alone; so that the matter
|
||
|
of her reminiscences struck one as an old world altogether.
|
||
|
If she had not been so decent her references would have seemed
|
||
|
to carry one back to the queer rococo Venice of Casanova.
|
||
|
I found myself falling into the error of thinking of her too
|
||
|
as one of Jeffrey Aspern's contemporaries; this came from her
|
||
|
having so little in common with my own. It was possible,
|
||
|
I said to myself, that she had not even heard of him;
|
||
|
it might very well be that Juliana had not cared to lift even
|
||
|
for her the veil that covered the temple of her youth. In this
|
||
|
case she perhaps would not know of the existence of the papers,
|
||
|
and I welcomed that presumption--it made me feel more safe with her--
|
||
|
until I remembered that we had believed the letter of disavowal
|
||
|
received by Cumnor to be in the handwriting of the niece.
|
||
|
If it had been dictated to her she had of course to know what it
|
||
|
was about; yet after all the effect of it was to repudiate
|
||
|
the idea of any connection with the poet. I held it probable
|
||
|
at all events that Miss Tita had not read a word of his poetry.
|
||
|
Moreover if, with her companion, she had always escaped
|
||
|
the interviewer there was little occasion for her having
|
||
|
got it into her head that people were "after" the letters.
|
||
|
People had not been after them, inasmuch as they had not
|
||
|
heard of them; and Cumnor's fruitless feeler would have been
|
||
|
a solitary accident.
|
||
|
|
||
|
When midnight sounded Miss Tita got up; but she stopped at the door
|
||
|
of the house only after she had wandered two or three times
|
||
|
with me round the garden. "When shall I see you again?"
|
||
|
I asked before she went in; to which she replied with
|
||
|
promptness that she should like to come out the next night.
|
||
|
She added however that she should not come--she was so far
|
||
|
from doing everything she liked.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You might do a few things that _I_ like," I said with a sigh.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, you--I don't believe you!" she murmured at this, looking at me
|
||
|
with her simple solemnity.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Why don't you believe me?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Because I don't understand you."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"That is just the sort of occasion to have faith."
|
||
|
I could not say more, though I should have liked to, as I saw
|
||
|
that I only mystified her; for I had no wish to have it on my
|
||
|
conscience that I might pass for having made love to her.
|
||
|
Nothing less should I have seemed to do had I continued to beg a lady
|
||
|
to "believe in me" in an Italian garden on a midsummer night.
|
||
|
There was some merit in my scruples, for Miss Tita lingered and lingered:
|
||
|
I perceived that she felt that she should not really soon come
|
||
|
down again and wished therefore to protract the present.
|
||
|
She insisted too on making the talk between us personal to ourselves;
|
||
|
and altogether her behavior was such as would have been possible
|
||
|
only to a completely innocent woman.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I shall like the flowers better now that I know they are also meant for me."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"How could you have doubted it? If you will tell me the kind you
|
||
|
like best I will send a double lot of them."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, I like them all best!" Then she went on, familiarly: "Shall you study--
|
||
|
shall you read and write--when you go up to your rooms?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I don't do that at night, at this season. The lamplight brings
|
||
|
in the animals."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You might have known that when you came."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I did know it!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And in winter do you work at night?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I read a good deal, but I don't often write."
|
||
|
She listened as if these details had a rare interest,
|
||
|
and suddenly a temptation quite at variance with the prudence
|
||
|
I had been teaching myself associated itself with her plain,
|
||
|
mild face. Ah yes, she was safe and I could make her safer!
|
||
|
It seemed to me from one moment to another that I could
|
||
|
not wait longer--that I really must take a sounding.
|
||
|
So I went on: "In general before I go to sleep--very often in bed
|
||
|
(it's a bad habit, but I confess to it), I read some great poet.
|
||
|
In nine cases out of ten it's a volume of Jeffrey Aspern."
|
||
|
|
||
|
I watched her well as I pronounced that name but I saw nothing wonderful.
|
||
|
Why should I indeed--was not Jeffrey Aspern the property of the human race?
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, we read him--we HAVE read him," she quietly replied.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"He is my poet of poets--I know him almost by heart."
|
||
|
|
||
|
For an instant Miss Tita hesitated; then her sociability was
|
||
|
too much for her.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, by heart--that's nothing!" she murmured, smiling. "My aunt used
|
||
|
to know him--to know him"--she paused an instant and I wondered what she
|
||
|
was going to say--"to know him as a visitor."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"As a visitor?" I repeated, staring.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"He used to call on her and take her out."
|
||
|
|
||
|
I continued to stare. "My dear lady, he died a hundred years ago!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well," she said mirthfully, "my aunt is a hundred and fifty."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Mercy on us!" I exclaimed; "why didn't you tell me before?
|
||
|
I should like so to ask her about him."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"She wouldn't care for that--she wouldn't tell you,"
|
||
|
Miss Tita replied.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I don't care what she cares for! She MUST tell me--
|
||
|
it's not a chance to be lost."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, you should have come twenty years ago: then she still
|
||
|
talked about him."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And what did she say?" I asked eagerly.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I don't know--that he liked her immensely."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And she--didn't she like him?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"She said he was a god." Miss Tita gave me this information flatly,
|
||
|
without expression; her tone might have made it a piece of trivial gossip.
|
||
|
But it stirred me deeply as she dropped the words into the summer night;
|
||
|
it seemed such a direct testimony.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Fancy, fancy!" I murmured. And then, "Tell me this, please--has she
|
||
|
got a portrait of him? They are distressingly rare."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"A portrait? I don't know," said Miss Tita; and now there
|
||
|
was discomfiture in her face. "Well, good night!" she added;
|
||
|
and she turned into the house.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I accompanied her into the wide, dusky, stone-paved passage
|
||
|
which on the ground floor corresponded with our grand sala.
|
||
|
It opened at one end into the garden, at the other upon the canal,
|
||
|
and was lighted now only by the small lamp that was always
|
||
|
left for me to take up as I went to bed. An extinguished
|
||
|
candle which Miss Tita apparently had brought down with her
|
||
|
stood on the same table with it. "Good night, good night!"
|
||
|
I replied, keeping beside her as she went to get her light.
|
||
|
"Surely you would know, shouldn't you, if she had one?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"If she had what?" the poor lady asked, looking at me queerly
|
||
|
over the flame of her candle.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"A portrait of the god. I don't know what I wouldn't give to see it."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I don't know what she has got. She keeps her things locked up."
|
||
|
And Miss Tita went away, toward the staircase, with the sense
|
||
|
evidently that she had said too much.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I let her go--I wished not to frighten her--and I contented
|
||
|
myself with remarking that Miss Bordereau would not have locked
|
||
|
up such a glorious possession as that--a thing a person would
|
||
|
be proud of and hang up in a prominent place on the parlor wall.
|
||
|
Therefore of course she had not any portrait.
|
||
|
Miss Tita made no direct answer to this and, candle in hand,
|
||
|
with her back to me, ascended two or three stairs.
|
||
|
Then she stopped short and turned round, looking at me across
|
||
|
the dusky space.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Do you write--do you write?" There was a shake in her voice--
|
||
|
she could scarcely bring out what she wanted to ask.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Do I write? Oh, don't speak of my writing on the same day with Aspern's!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Do you write about HIM--do you pry into his life?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Ah, that's your aunt's question; it can't be yours!"
|
||
|
I said, in a tone of slightly wounded sensibility.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"All the more reason then that you should answer it.
|
||
|
Do you, please?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
I thought I had allowed for the falsehoods I should have to tell;
|
||
|
but I found that in fact when it came to the point I had not.
|
||
|
Besides, now that I had an opening there was a kind of relief
|
||
|
in being frank. Lastly (it was perhaps fanciful, even fatuous),
|
||
|
I guessed that Miss Tita personally would not in the last resort
|
||
|
be less my friend. So after a moment's hesitation I answered,
|
||
|
"Yes, I have written about him and I am looking for more material.
|
||
|
In heaven's name have you got any?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Santo Dio!" she exclaimed, without heeding my question;
|
||
|
and she hurried upstairs and out of sight. I might count
|
||
|
upon her in the last resort, but for the present she
|
||
|
was visibly alarmed. The proof of it was that she began
|
||
|
to hide again, so that for a fortnight I never beheld her.
|
||
|
I found my patience ebbing and after four or five days of this
|
||
|
I told the gardener to stop the flowers.
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
VI
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
One afternoon, as I came down from my quarters to go out,
|
||
|
I found Miss Tita in the sala: it was our first
|
||
|
encounter on that ground since I had come to the house.
|
||
|
She put on no air of being there by accident; there was an
|
||
|
ignorance of such arts in her angular, diffident directness.
|
||
|
That I might be quite sure she was waiting for me she informed me
|
||
|
of the fact and told me that Miss Bordereau wished to see me:
|
||
|
she would take me into the room at that moment if I had time.
|
||
|
If I had been late for a love tryst I would have stayed for this,
|
||
|
and I quickly signified that I should be delighted to wait
|
||
|
upon the old lady. "She wants to talk with you--to know you,"
|
||
|
Miss Tita said, smiling as if she herself appreciated that idea;
|
||
|
and she led me to the door of her aunt's apartment.
|
||
|
I stopped her a moment before she had opened it, looking at
|
||
|
her with some curiosity. I told her that this was a great
|
||
|
satisfaction to me and a great honor; but all the same I should
|
||
|
like to ask what had made Miss Bordereau change so suddenly.
|
||
|
It was only the other day that she wouldn't suffer me near her.
|
||
|
Miss Tita was not embarrassed by my question; she had as many
|
||
|
little unexpected serenities as if she told fibs, but the odd
|
||
|
part of them was that they had on the contrary their source
|
||
|
in her truthfulness. "Oh, my aunt changes," she answered;
|
||
|
"it's so terribly dull--I suppose she's tired."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"But you told me that she wanted more and more to be alone."
|
||
|
|
||
|
Poor Miss Tita colored, as if she found me over-insistent. "Well,
|
||
|
if you don't believe she wants to see you--I haven't invented it!
|
||
|
I think people often are capricious when they are very old."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"That's perfectly true. I only wanted to be clear as to whether
|
||
|
you have repeated to her what I told you the other night."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"What you told me?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"About Jeffrey Aspern--that I am looking for materials."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"If I had told her do you think she would have sent for you?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"That's exactly what I want to know. If she wants to keep
|
||
|
him to herself she might have sent for me to tell me so."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"She won't speak of him," said Miss Tita. Then as she opened the door
|
||
|
she added in a lower tone, "I have told her nothing."
|
||
|
|
||
|
The old woman was sitting in the same place in which I had seen her last,
|
||
|
in the same position, with the same mystifying bandage over her eyes.
|
||
|
her welcome was to turn her almost invisible face to me and show me
|
||
|
that while she sat silent she saw me clearly. I made no motion to shake
|
||
|
hands with her; I felt too well on this occasion that that was out
|
||
|
of place forever. It had been sufficiently enjoined upon me that she
|
||
|
was too sacred for that sort of reciprocity--too venerable to touch.
|
||
|
There was something so grim in her aspect (it was partly the accident
|
||
|
of her green shade), as I stood there to be measured, that I ceased
|
||
|
on the spot to feel any doubt as to her knowing my secret, though I did
|
||
|
not in the least suspect that Miss Tita had not just spoken the truth.
|
||
|
She had not betrayed me, but the old woman's brooding instinct had
|
||
|
served her; she had turned me over and over in the long, still hours,
|
||
|
and she had guessed. The worst of it was that she looked terribly
|
||
|
like an old woman who at a pinch would burn her papers. Miss Tita pushed
|
||
|
a chair forward, saying to me, "This will be a good place for you to sit."
|
||
|
As I took possession of it I asked after Miss Bordereau's health;
|
||
|
expressed the hope that in spite of the very hot weather it was satisfactory.
|
||
|
She replied that it was good enough--good enough; that it was a great
|
||
|
thing to be alive.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, as to that, it depends upon what you compare it with!"
|
||
|
I exclaimed, laughing.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I don't compare--I don't compare. If I did that I should have given
|
||
|
everything up long ago."
|
||
|
|
||
|
I liked to think that this was a subtle allusion to the rapture
|
||
|
she had known in the society of Jeffrey Aspern--though it
|
||
|
was true that such an allusion would have accorded ill with
|
||
|
the wish I imputed to her to keep him buried in her soul.
|
||
|
What it accorded with was my constant conviction that no human
|
||
|
being had ever had a more delightful social gift than his,
|
||
|
and what it seemed to convey was that nothing in the world
|
||
|
was worth speaking of if one pretended to speak of that.
|
||
|
But one did not! Miss Tita sat down beside her aunt,
|
||
|
looking as if she had reason to believe some very remarkable
|
||
|
conversation would come off between us.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"It's about the beautiful flowers," said the old lady;
|
||
|
"you sent us so many--I ought to have thanked you for them before.
|
||
|
But I don't write letters and I receive only at long intervals."
|
||
|
|
||
|
She had not thanked me while the flowers continued to come, but she
|
||
|
departed from her custom so far as to send for me as soon as she
|
||
|
began to fear that they would not come any more. I noted this;
|
||
|
I remembered what an acquisitive propensity she had shown when it
|
||
|
was a question of extracting gold from me, and I privately rejoiced
|
||
|
at the happy thought I had had in suspending my tribute. She had
|
||
|
missed it and she was willing to make a concession to bring it back.
|
||
|
At the first sign of this concession I could only go to meet her.
|
||
|
"I am afraid you have not had many, of late, but they shall begin
|
||
|
again immediately--tomorrow, tonight."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, do send us some tonight!" Miss Tita cried, as if it
|
||
|
were an immense circumstance.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"What else should you do with them? It isn't a manly taste to make a bower
|
||
|
of your room," the old woman remarked.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I don't make a bower of my room, but I am exceedingly fond of growing
|
||
|
flowers, of watching their ways. There is nothing unmanly in that:
|
||
|
it has been the amusement of philosophers, of statesmen in retirement;
|
||
|
even I think of great captains."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I suppose you know you can sell them--those you don't use,"
|
||
|
Miss Bordereau went on. "I daresay they wouldn't give you
|
||
|
much for them; still, you could make a bargain."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, I have never made a bargain, as you ought to know.
|
||
|
My gardener disposes of them and I ask no questions."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I would ask a few, I can promise you!" said Miss Bordereau;
|
||
|
and it was the first time I had heard her laugh.
|
||
|
I could not get used to the idea that this vision of pecuniary
|
||
|
profit was what drew out the divine Juliana most.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Come into the garden yourself and pick them; come as often
|
||
|
as you like; come every day. They are all for you,"
|
||
|
I pursued, addressing Miss Tita and carrying off this
|
||
|
veracious statement by treating it as an innocent joke.
|
||
|
"I can't imagine why she doesn't come down," I added,
|
||
|
for Miss Bordereau's benefit.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You must make her come; you must come up and fetch her,"
|
||
|
said the old woman, to my stupefaction. "That odd thing you
|
||
|
have made in the corner would be a capital place for her to sit."
|
||
|
|
||
|
The allusion to my arbor was irreverent; it confirmed the impression I
|
||
|
had already received that there was a flicker of impertinence in Miss
|
||
|
Bordereau's talk, a strange mocking lambency which must have been a part
|
||
|
of her adventurous youth and which had outlived passions and faculties.
|
||
|
Nonetheless I asked, "Wouldn't it be possible for you to come down
|
||
|
there yourself? Wouldn't it do you good to sit there in the shade,
|
||
|
in the sweet air?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, sir, when I move out of this it won't be to sit in the air,
|
||
|
and I'm afraid that any that may be stirring around me won't
|
||
|
be particularly sweet! It will be a very dark shade indeed.
|
||
|
But that won't be just yet," Miss Bordereau continued cannily,
|
||
|
as if to correct any hopes that this courageous allusion to
|
||
|
the last receptacle of her mortality might lead me to entertain.
|
||
|
"I have sat here many a day and I have had enough of arbors in my time.
|
||
|
But I'm not afraid to wait till I'm called."
|
||
|
|
||
|
Miss Tita had expected some interesting talk, but perhaps she
|
||
|
found it less genial on her aunt's side (considering that I
|
||
|
had been sent for with a civil intention) than she had hoped.
|
||
|
As if to give the conversation a turn that would put
|
||
|
our companion in a light more favorable she said to me,
|
||
|
"Didn't I tell you the other night that she had sent me out?
|
||
|
You see that I can do what I like!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Do you pity her--do you teach her to pity herself?"
|
||
|
Miss Bordereau demanded before I had time to answer this appeal.
|
||
|
"She has a much easier life than I had when I was her age."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You must remember that it has been quite open to me to think
|
||
|
you rather inhuman."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Inhuman? That's what the poets used to call the women a hundred years ago.
|
||
|
Don't try that; you won't do as well as they!" Juliana declared.
|
||
|
"There is no more poetry in the world--that I know of at least.
|
||
|
But I won't bandy words with you," she pursued, and I well remember
|
||
|
the old-fashioned, artificial sound she gave to the speech.
|
||
|
"You have made me talk, talk! It isn't good for me at all."
|
||
|
I got up at this and told her I would take no more of her time; but she
|
||
|
detained me to ask, "Do you remember, the day I saw you about the rooms,
|
||
|
that you offered us the use of your gondola?" And when I assented,
|
||
|
promptly, struck again with her disposition to make a "good thing"
|
||
|
of being there and wondering what she now had in her eye, she broke out,
|
||
|
"Why don't you take that girl out in it and show her the place?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, dear Aunt, what do you want to do with me?" cried the "girl"
|
||
|
with a piteous quaver. "I know all about the place!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well then, go with him as a cicerone!" said Miss Bordereau
|
||
|
with an effort of something like cruelty in her implacable
|
||
|
power of retort--an incongruous suggestion that she was
|
||
|
a sarcastic, profane, cynical old woman. "Haven't we heard
|
||
|
that there have been all sorts of changes in all these years?
|
||
|
You ought to see them and at your age (I don't mean because
|
||
|
you're so young) you ought to take the chances that come.
|
||
|
You're old enough, my dear, and this gentleman won't hurt you.
|
||
|
He will show you the famous sunsets, if they still go
|
||
|
on--DO they go on? The sun set for me so long ago.
|
||
|
But that's not a reason. Besides, I shall never miss you;
|
||
|
you think you are too important. Take her to the Piazza;
|
||
|
it used to be very pretty," Miss Bordereau continued, addressing
|
||
|
herself to me. "What have they done with the funny old church?
|
||
|
I hope it hasn't tumbled down. let her look at the shops;
|
||
|
she may take some money, she may buy what she likes."
|
||
|
|
||
|
Poor Miss Tita had got up, discountenanced and helpless, and as we stood
|
||
|
there before her aunt it would certainly have seemed to a spectator
|
||
|
of the scene that the old woman was amusing herself at our expense.
|
||
|
Miss Tita protested, in a confusion of exclamations and murmurs;
|
||
|
but I lost no time in saying that if she would do me the honor to accept
|
||
|
the hospitality of my boat I would engage that she should not be bored.
|
||
|
Or if she did not want so much of my company the boat itself,
|
||
|
with the gondolier, was at her service; he was a capital oar
|
||
|
and she might have every confidence. Miss Tita, without definitely
|
||
|
answering this speech, looked away from me, out of the window,
|
||
|
as if she were going to cry; and I remarked that once we had Miss
|
||
|
Bordereau's approval we could easily come to an understanding.
|
||
|
We would take an hour, whichever she liked, one of the very next days.
|
||
|
As I made my obeisance to the old lady I asked her if she would
|
||
|
kindly permit me to see her again.
|
||
|
|
||
|
For a moment she said nothing; then she inquired, "Is it very necessary
|
||
|
to your happiness?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"It diverts me more than I can say."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You are wonderfully civil. Don't you know it almost kills ME?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"How can I believe that when I see you more animated, more brilliant
|
||
|
than when I came in?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"That is very true, Aunt," said Miss Tita. I think it does you good."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Isn't it touching, the solicitude we each have that
|
||
|
the other shall enjoy herself?" sneered Miss Bordereau.
|
||
|
"If you think me brilliant today you don't know what you
|
||
|
are talking about; you have never seen an agreeable woman.
|
||
|
Don't try to pay me a compliment; I have been spoiled," she went on.
|
||
|
"My door is shut, but you may sometimes knock."
|
||
|
|
||
|
With this she dismissed me, and I left the room.
|
||
|
The latch closed behind me, but Miss Tita, contrary to my hope,
|
||
|
had remained within. I passed slowly across the hall
|
||
|
and before taking my way downstairs I waited a little.
|
||
|
My hope was answered; after a minute Miss Tita followed me.
|
||
|
"That's a delightful idea about the Piazza," I said.
|
||
|
"When will you go--tonight, tomorrow?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
She had been disconcerted, as I have mentioned, but I had
|
||
|
already perceived and I was to observe again that when Miss Tita
|
||
|
was embarrassed she did not (as most women would have done)
|
||
|
turn away from you and try to escape, but came closer, as it were,
|
||
|
with a deprecating, clinging appeal to be spared, to be protected.
|
||
|
Her attitude was perpetually a sort of prayer for assistance,
|
||
|
for explanation; and yet no woman in the world could have been
|
||
|
less of a comedian. From the moment you were kind to her she
|
||
|
depended on you absolutely; her self-consciousness dropped from
|
||
|
her and she took the greatest intimacy, the innocent intimacy
|
||
|
which was the only thing she could conceive, for granted.
|
||
|
She told me she did not know what had got into her aunt;
|
||
|
she had changed so quickly, she had got some idea. I replied
|
||
|
that she must find out what the idea was and then let me know;
|
||
|
we would go and have an ice together at Florian's, and she
|
||
|
should tell me while we listened to the band.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, it will take me a long time to find out!" she said, rather ruefully;
|
||
|
and she could promise me this satisfaction neither for that night nor for
|
||
|
the next. I was patient now, however, for I felt that I had only to wait;
|
||
|
and in fact at the end of the week, one lovely evening after dinner,
|
||
|
she stepped into my gondola, to which in honor of the occasion I had
|
||
|
attached a second oar.
|
||
|
|
||
|
We swept in the course of five minutes into the Grand Canal;
|
||
|
whereupon she uttered a murmur of ecstasy as fresh as if she
|
||
|
had been a tourist just arrived. She had forgotten how splendid
|
||
|
the great waterway looked on a clear, hot summer evening,
|
||
|
and how the sense of floating between marble palaces and
|
||
|
reflected lights disposed the mind to sympathetic talk.
|
||
|
We floated long and far, and though Miss Tita gave no high-pitched
|
||
|
voice to her satisfaction I felt that she surrendered herself.
|
||
|
She was more than pleased, she was transported; the whole thing
|
||
|
was an immense liberation. The gondola moved with slow strokes,
|
||
|
to give her time to enjoy it, and she listened to the plash
|
||
|
of the oars, which grew louder and more musically liquid as we
|
||
|
passed into narrow canals, as if it were a revelation of Venice.
|
||
|
When I asked her how long it was since she had been in a boat
|
||
|
she answered, "Oh, I don't know; a long time--not since my aunt
|
||
|
began to be ill." This was not the only example she gave me
|
||
|
of her extreme vagueness about the previous years and the line
|
||
|
which marked off the period when Miss Bordereau flourished.
|
||
|
I was not at liberty to keep her out too long, but we
|
||
|
took a considerable GIRL before going to the Piazza.
|
||
|
I asked her no questions, keeping the conversation on purpose
|
||
|
away from her domestic situation and the things I wanted to know;
|
||
|
I poured treasures of information about Venice into her ears,
|
||
|
described Florence and Rome, discoursed to her on the charms
|
||
|
and advantages of travel. She reclined, receptive, on the deep
|
||
|
leather cushions, turned her eyes conscientiously to everything
|
||
|
I pointed out to her, and never mentioned to me till sometime
|
||
|
afterward that she might be supposed to know Florence better
|
||
|
than I, as she had lived there for years with Miss Bordereau.
|
||
|
At last she asked, with the shy impatience of a child, "Are we
|
||
|
not really going to the Piazza? That's what I want to see!"
|
||
|
I immediately gave the order that we should go straight;
|
||
|
and then we sat silent with the expectation of arrival.
|
||
|
As some time still passed, however, she said suddenly, of her
|
||
|
own movement, "I have found out what is the matter with my aunt:
|
||
|
she is afraid you will go!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"What has put that into her head?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"She has had an idea you have not been happy. That is why
|
||
|
she is different now."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You mean she wants to make me happier?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well, she wants you not to go; she wants you to stay."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I suppose you mean on account of the rent," I remarked candidly.
|
||
|
|
||
|
Miss Tita's candor showed itself a match for my own.
|
||
|
"Yes, you know; so that I shall have more."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"How much does she want you to have?" I asked, laughing.
|
||
|
"She ought to fix the sum, so that I may stay till it's made up."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, that wouldn't please me," said Miss Tita. "It would be unheard of,
|
||
|
your taking that trouble."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"But suppose I should have my own reasons for staying in Venice?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Then it would be better for you to stay in some other house."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And what would your aunt say to that?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"She wouldn't like it at all. But I should think you would do well to give
|
||
|
up your reasons and go away altogether."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Dear Miss Tita," I said, "it's not so easy to give them up!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
She made no immediate answer to this, but after a moment she broke out:
|
||
|
"I think I know what your reasons are!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I daresay, because the other night I almost told you how I wish
|
||
|
you would help me to make them good."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I can't do that without being false to my aunt."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"What do you mean, being false to her?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Why, she would never consent to what you want. She has been asked,
|
||
|
she has been written to. It made her fearfully angry."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Then she HAS got papers of value?" I demanded quickly.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, she has got everything!" sighed Miss Tita with a curious weariness,
|
||
|
a sudden lapse into gloom.
|
||
|
|
||
|
These words caused all my pulses to throb, for I regarded them
|
||
|
as precious evidence. For some minutes I was too agitated to speak,
|
||
|
and in the interval the gondola approached the Piazzetta.
|
||
|
After we had disembarked I asked my companion whether she would
|
||
|
rather walk round the square or go and sit at the door of the cafe;
|
||
|
to which she replied that she would do whichever I liked best--
|
||
|
I must only remember again how little time she had. I assured her there
|
||
|
was plenty to do both, and we made the circuit of the long arcades.
|
||
|
Her spirits revived at the sight of the bright shop windows, and she
|
||
|
lingered and stopped, admiring or disapproving of their contents,
|
||
|
asking me what I thought of things, theorizing about prices.
|
||
|
My attention wandered from her; her words of a while before,
|
||
|
"Oh, she has got everything!" echoed so in my consciousness.
|
||
|
We sat down at last in the crowded circle at Florian's, finding
|
||
|
an unoccupied table among those that were ranged in the square.
|
||
|
It was a splendid night and all the world was out-of-doors;
|
||
|
Miss Tita could not have wished the elements more auspicuous for
|
||
|
her return to society. I saw that she enjoyed it even more than
|
||
|
she told; she was agitated with the multitude of her impressions.
|
||
|
She had forgotten what an attractive thing the world is,
|
||
|
and it was coming over her that somehow she had for the best years
|
||
|
of her life been cheated of it. This did not make her angry;
|
||
|
but as she looked all over the charming scene her face had, in spite
|
||
|
of its smile of appreciation, the flush of a sort of wounded surprise.
|
||
|
She became silent, as if she were thinking with a secret sadness
|
||
|
of opportunities, forever lost, which ought to have been easy;
|
||
|
and this gave me a chance to say to her, "Did you mean a while ago
|
||
|
that your aunt has a plan of keeping me on by admitting me occasionally
|
||
|
to her presence?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"She thinks it will make a difference with you if you sometimes see her.
|
||
|
She wants you so much to stay that she is willing to make that concession."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And what good does she consider that I think it will do me to see her?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I don't know; she thinks it's interesting," said Miss Tita simply.
|
||
|
"You told her you found it so."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"So I did; but everyone doesn't think so."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"No, of course not, or more people would try."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well, if she is capable of making that reflection she
|
||
|
is capable of making this further one," I went on:
|
||
|
"that I must have a particular reason for not doing as others do,
|
||
|
in spite of the interest she offers--for not leaving her alone."
|
||
|
Miss Tita looked as if she failed to grasp this rather
|
||
|
complicated proposition; so I continued, "If you have not told
|
||
|
her what I said to you the other night may she not at least
|
||
|
have guessed it?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I don't know; she is very suspicious."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"But she has not been made so by indiscreet curiosity, by persecution?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"No, no; it isn't that," said Miss Tita, turning on me
|
||
|
a somewhat troubled face. "I don't know how to say it:
|
||
|
it's on account of something--ages ago, before I was born--
|
||
|
in her life."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Something? What sort of thing?" I asked as if I myself could
|
||
|
have no idea.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, she has never told me," Miss Tita answered; and I was sure
|
||
|
she was speaking the truth.
|
||
|
|
||
|
Her extreme limpidity was almost provoking, and I felt for the moment
|
||
|
that she would have been more satisfactory if she had been less ingenuous.
|
||
|
"Do you suppose it's something to which Jeffrey Aspern's letters and papers--
|
||
|
I mean the things in her possession--have reference?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I daresay it is!" my companion exclaimed as if this were a very
|
||
|
happy suggestion. "I have never looked at any of those things."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"None of them? Then how do you know what they are?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I don't," said Miss Tita placidly. "I have never had them in my hands.
|
||
|
But I have seen them when she has had them out."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Does she have them out often?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Not now, but she used to. She is very fond of them."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"In spite of their being compromising?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Compromising?" Miss Tita repeated as if she was ignorant of the meaning
|
||
|
of the word. I felt almost as one who corrupts the innocence of youth.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I mean their containing painful memories."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, I don't think they are painful."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You mean you don't think they affect her reputation?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
At this a singular look came into the face of Miss
|
||
|
Bordereau's niece--a kind of confession of helplessness,
|
||
|
an appeal to me to deal fairly, generously with her.
|
||
|
I had brought her to the Piazza, placed her among charming
|
||
|
influences, paid her an attention she appreciated, and now I
|
||
|
seemed to let her perceive that all this had been a bribe--
|
||
|
a bribe to make her turn in some way against her aunt.
|
||
|
She was of a yielding nature and capable of doing almost anything
|
||
|
to please a person who was kind to her; but the greatest
|
||
|
kindness of all would be not to presume too much on this.
|
||
|
It was strange enough, as I afterward thought, that she
|
||
|
had not the least air of resenting my want of consideration
|
||
|
for her aunt's character, which would have been in the worst
|
||
|
possible taste if anything less vital (from my point of view)
|
||
|
had been at stake. I don't think she really measured it.
|
||
|
"Do you mean that she did something bad?" she asked in a moment.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Heaven forbid I should say so, and it's none of my business.
|
||
|
Besides, if she did," I added, laughing, "it was in other ages,
|
||
|
in another world. But why should she not destroy her papers?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, she loves them too much."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Even now, when she may be near her end?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Perhaps when she's sure of that she will."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well, Miss Tita," I said, "it's just what I should like you to prevent."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"How can I prevent it?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Couldn't you get them away from her?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And give them to you?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
This put the case very crudely, though I am sure there was no irony
|
||
|
in her intention. "Oh, I mean that you might let me see them and look
|
||
|
them over. It isn't for myself; there is no personal avidity in my desire.
|
||
|
It is simply that they would be of such immense interest to the public,
|
||
|
such immeasurable importance as a contribution to Jeffrey Aspern's history."
|
||
|
|
||
|
She listened to me in her usual manner, as if my speech were full of
|
||
|
reference to things she had never heard of, and I felt particularly like
|
||
|
the reporter of a newspaper who forces his way into a house of mourning.
|
||
|
This was especially the case when after a moment she said. "There was
|
||
|
a gentleman who some time ago wrote to her in very much those words.
|
||
|
He also wanted her papers."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And did she answer him?" I asked, rather ashamed of myself
|
||
|
for not having her rectitude.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Only when he had written two or three times. He made her very angry."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And what did she say?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"She said he was a devil," Miss Tita replied simply.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"She used that expression in her letter?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, no; she said it to me. She made me write to him."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And what did you say?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I told him there were no papers at all."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Ah, poor gentleman!" I exclaimed.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I knew there were, but I wrote what she bade me."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Of course you had to do that. But I hope I shall not pass for a devil."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"It will depend upon what you ask me to do for you,"
|
||
|
said Miss Tita, smiling.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, if there is a chance of YOUR thinking so my affair is in a bad way!
|
||
|
I shan't ask you to steal for me, nor even to fib--for you can't fib,
|
||
|
unless on paper. But the principal thing is this--to prevent her from
|
||
|
destroying the papers."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Why, I have no control of her," said Miss Tita.
|
||
|
"It's she who controls me."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"But she doesn't control her own arms and legs, does she?
|
||
|
The way she would naturally destroy her letters would be to burn them.
|
||
|
Now she can't burn them without fire, and she can't get fire unless
|
||
|
you give it to her."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I have always done everything she has asked," my companion rejoined.
|
||
|
"Besides, there's Olimpia."
|
||
|
|
||
|
I was on the point of saying that Olimpia was probably corruptible,
|
||
|
but I thought it best not to sound that note. So I simply inquired
|
||
|
if that faithful domestic could not be managed.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Everyone can be managed by my aunt," said Miss Tita.
|
||
|
And then she observed that her holiday was over; she must go home.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I laid my hand on her arm, across the table, to stay her a moment.
|
||
|
"What I want of you is a general promise to help me."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, how can I--how can I?" she asked, wondering and troubled.
|
||
|
She was half-surprised, half-frightened at my wishing to make
|
||
|
her play an active part.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"This is the main thing: to watch her carefully and warn me in time,
|
||
|
before she commits that horrible sacrilege."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I can't watch her when she makes me go out."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"That's very true."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And when you do, too."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Mercy on us; do you think she will have done anything tonight?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I don't know; she is very cunning."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Are you trying to frighten me?" I asked.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I felt this inquiry sufficiently answered when my companion
|
||
|
murmured in a musing, almost envious way, "Oh, but she loves them--
|
||
|
she loves them!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
This reflection, repeated with such emphasis, gave me great comfort;
|
||
|
but to obtain more of that balm I said, "If she shouldn't intend
|
||
|
to destroy the objects we speak of before her death she will probably
|
||
|
have made some disposition by will."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"By will?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Hasn't she made a will for your benefit?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Why, she has so little to leave. That's why she likes money,"
|
||
|
said Miss Tita.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Might I ask, since we are really talking things over,
|
||
|
what you and she live on?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"On some money that comes from America, from a lawyer.
|
||
|
He sends it every quarter. It isn't much!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And won't she have disposed of that?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
My companion hesitated--I saw she was blushing.
|
||
|
"I believe it's mine," she said; and the look and tone which
|
||
|
accompanied these words betrayed so the absence of the habit
|
||
|
of thinking of herself that I almost thought her charming.
|
||
|
The next instant she added, "But she had a lawyer once,
|
||
|
ever so long ago. And some people came and signed something."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"They were probably witnesses. And you were not asked to sign?
|
||
|
Well then," I argued rapidly and hopefully, "it is because you
|
||
|
are the legatee; she has left all her documents to you!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"If she has it's with very strict conditions," Miss Tita responded,
|
||
|
rising quickly, while the movement gave the words a little character
|
||
|
of decision. They seemed to imply that the bequest would be accompanied
|
||
|
with a command that the articles bequeathed should remain concealed
|
||
|
from every inquisitive eye and that I was very much mistaken if I thought
|
||
|
she was the person to depart from an injunction so solemn.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, of course you will have to abide by the terms," I said;
|
||
|
and she uttered nothing to mitigate the severity of this conclusion.
|
||
|
Nonetheless, later, just before we disembarked at her own door,
|
||
|
on our return, which had taken place almost in silence,
|
||
|
she said to me abruptly, "I will do what I can to help you."
|
||
|
I was grateful for this--it was very well so far as it went;
|
||
|
but it did not keep me from remembering that night in a worried
|
||
|
waking hour that I now had her word for it to reinforce my own
|
||
|
impression that the old woman was very cunning.
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
VII
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
The fear of what this side of her character might have led
|
||
|
her to do made me nervous for days afterward. I waited for an
|
||
|
intimation from Miss Tita; I almost figured to myself that it
|
||
|
was her duty to keep me informed, to let me know definitely
|
||
|
whether or no Miss Bordereau had sacrificed her treasures.
|
||
|
But as she gave no sign I lost patience and determined
|
||
|
to judge so far as was possible with my own senses.
|
||
|
I sent late one afternoon to ask if I might pay the ladies
|
||
|
a visit, and my servant came back with surprising news.
|
||
|
Miss Bordereau could be approached without the least difficulty;
|
||
|
she had been moved out into the sala and was
|
||
|
sitting by the window that overlooked the garden.
|
||
|
I descended and found this picture correct; the old lady
|
||
|
had been wheeled forth into the world and had a certain air,
|
||
|
which came mainly perhaps from some brighter element in
|
||
|
her dress, of being prepared again to have converse with it.
|
||
|
It had not yet, however, begun to flock about her;
|
||
|
she was perfectly alone and, though the door leading to her own
|
||
|
quarters stood open, I had at first no glimpse of Miss Tita.
|
||
|
The window at which she sat had the afternoon shade and,
|
||
|
one of the shutters having been pushed back, she could see
|
||
|
the pleasant garden, where the summer sun had by this time
|
||
|
dried up too many of the plants--she could see the yellow
|
||
|
light and the long shadows.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Have you come to tell me that you will take the rooms
|
||
|
for six months more?" she asked as I approached her,
|
||
|
startling me by something coarse in her cupidity almost
|
||
|
as much as if she had not already given me a specimen of it.
|
||
|
Juliana's desire to make our acquaintance lucrative had been,
|
||
|
as I have sufficiently indicated, a false note in my image
|
||
|
of the woman who had inspired a great poet with immortal lines;
|
||
|
but I may say here definitely that I recognized after all
|
||
|
that it behooved me to make a large allowance for her.
|
||
|
It was I who had kindled the unholy flame; it was I who had
|
||
|
put into her head that she had the means of making money.
|
||
|
She appeared never to have thought of that; she had been
|
||
|
living wastefully for years, in a house five times too
|
||
|
big for her, on a footing that I could explain only by
|
||
|
the presumption that, excessive as it was, the space she
|
||
|
enjoyed cost her next to nothing and that small as were her
|
||
|
revenues they left her, for Venice, an appreciable margin.
|
||
|
I had descended on her one day and taught her to calculate,
|
||
|
and my almost extravagant comedy on the subject of the garden
|
||
|
had presented me irresistibly in the light of a victim.
|
||
|
Like all persons who achieve the miracle of changing their point
|
||
|
of view when they are old she had been intensely converted;
|
||
|
she had seized my hint with a desperate, tremulous clutch.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I invited myself to go and get one of the chairs that stood, at a distance,
|
||
|
against the wall (she had given herself no concern as to whether I
|
||
|
should sit or stand); and while I placed it near her I began, gaily,
|
||
|
"Oh, dear madam, what an imagination you have, what an intellectual sweep!
|
||
|
I am a poor devil of a man of letters who lives from day to day.
|
||
|
How can I take palaces by the year? My existence is precarious.
|
||
|
I don't know whether six months hence I shall have bread to put in my mouth.
|
||
|
I have treated myself for once; it has been an immense luxury.
|
||
|
But when it comes to going on--!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Are your rooms too dear? If they are you can have more for the same money,"
|
||
|
Juliana responded. "We can arrange, we can combinare, as they say here."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well yes, since you ask me, they are too dear," I said.
|
||
|
"Evidently you suppose me richer than I am."
|
||
|
|
||
|
She looked at me in her barricaded way. "If you write books
|
||
|
don't you sell them?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Do you mean don't people buy them? A little--not so much as I could wish.
|
||
|
Writing books, unless one be a great genius--and even then!--is the last road
|
||
|
to fortune. I think there is no more money to be made by literature."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Perhaps you don't choose good subjects. What do you write about?"
|
||
|
Miss Bordereau inquired.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"About the books of other people. I'm a critic, an historian,
|
||
|
in a small way." I wondered what she was coming to.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And what other people, now?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, better ones than myself: the great writers mainly--
|
||
|
the great philosophers and poets of the past; those who are
|
||
|
dead and gone and can't speak for themselves."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And what do you say about them?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I say they sometimes attached themselves to very clever women!"
|
||
|
I answered, laughing. I spoke with great deliberation,
|
||
|
but as my words fell upon the air they struck me as imprudent.
|
||
|
However, I risked them and I was not sorry, for perhaps
|
||
|
after all the old woman would be willing to treat.
|
||
|
It seemed to be tolerably obvious that she knew my secret:
|
||
|
why therefore drag the matter out? But she did not take what I
|
||
|
had said as a confession; she only asked:
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Do you think it's right to rake up the past?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I don't know that I know what you mean by raking it up;
|
||
|
but how can we get at it unless we dig a little?
|
||
|
The present has such a rough way of treading it down."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, I like the past, but I don't like critics," the old woman declared
|
||
|
with her fine tranquility.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Neither do I, but I like their discoveries."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Aren't they mostly lies?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"The lies are what they sometimes discover," I said, smiling at the quiet
|
||
|
impertinence of this. "They often lay bare the truth."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"The truth is God's, it isn't man's; we had better leave it alone.
|
||
|
Who can judge of it--who can say?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"We are terribly in the dark, I know," I admitted; "but if we give
|
||
|
up trying what becomes of all the fine things? What becomes of
|
||
|
the work I just mentioned, that of the great philosophers and poets?
|
||
|
It is all vain words if there is nothing to measure it by."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You talk as if you were a tailor," said Miss Bordereau whimsically;
|
||
|
and then she added quickly, in a different manner, "This house
|
||
|
is very fine; the proportions are magnificent. Today I wanted
|
||
|
to look at this place again. I made them bring me out here.
|
||
|
When your man came, just now, to learn if I would see you,
|
||
|
I was on the point of sending for you, to ask if you didn't
|
||
|
mean to go on. I wanted to judge what I'm letting you have.
|
||
|
This sala is very grand," she pursued, like an auctioneer,
|
||
|
moving a little, as I guessed, her invisible eyes.
|
||
|
"I don't believe you often have lived in such a house, eh?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I can't often afford to!" I said.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well then, how much will you give for six months?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
I was on the point of exclaiming--and the air of excruciation
|
||
|
in my face would have denoted a moral face--"Don't, Juliana; for
|
||
|
HIS sake, don't!" But I controlled myself and asked less passionately:
|
||
|
"Why should I remain so long as that?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I thought you liked it," said Miss Bordereau with her shriveled dignity.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"So I thought I should."
|
||
|
|
||
|
For a moment she said nothing more, and I left my own words to suggest
|
||
|
to her what they might. I half-expected her to say, coldly enough,
|
||
|
that if I had been disappointed we need not continue the discussion,
|
||
|
and this in spite of the fact that I believed her now to have in her mind
|
||
|
(however it had come there) what would have told her that my disappointment
|
||
|
was natural. But to my extreme surprise she ended by observing:
|
||
|
"If you don't think we have treated you well enough perhaps we can discover
|
||
|
some way of treating you better." This speech was somehow so incongruous
|
||
|
that it made me laugh again, and I excused myself by saying that she talked
|
||
|
as if I were a sulky boy, pouting in the corner, to be "brought round."
|
||
|
I had not a grain of complaint to make; and could anything have exceeded Miss
|
||
|
Tita's graciousness in accompanying me a few nights before to the Piazza?
|
||
|
At this the old woman went on: "Well, you brought it on yourself!"
|
||
|
And then in a different tone, "She is a very nice girl."
|
||
|
I assented cordially to this proposition, and she expressed the hope
|
||
|
that I did so not merely to be obliging, but that I really liked her.
|
||
|
Meanwhile I wondered still more what Miss Bordereau was coming to.
|
||
|
"Except for me, today," she said, "she has not a relation in the world."
|
||
|
Did she by describing her niece as amiable and unencumbered wish
|
||
|
to represent her as a parti?
|
||
|
|
||
|
It was perfectly true that I could not afford to go on with my
|
||
|
rooms at a fancy price and that I had already devoted to my
|
||
|
undertaking almost all the hard cash I had set apart for it.
|
||
|
My patience and my time were by no means exhausted, but I should
|
||
|
be able to draw upon them only on a more usual Venetian basis.
|
||
|
I was willing to pay the venerable woman with whom my pecuniary dealings
|
||
|
were such a discord twice as much as any other padrona di casa would
|
||
|
have asked, but I was not willing to pay her twenty times as much.
|
||
|
I told her so plainly, and my plainness appeared to have some success,
|
||
|
for she exclaimed, "Very good; you have done what I asked--
|
||
|
you have made an offer!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Yes, but not for half a year. Only by the month."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, I must think of that then." She seemed disappointed
|
||
|
that I would not tie myself to a period, and I guessed that she
|
||
|
wished both to secure me and to discourage me; to say severely,
|
||
|
"Do you dream that you can get off with less than six months?
|
||
|
Do you dream that even by the end of that time you will be
|
||
|
appreciably nearer your victory?" What was more in my mind
|
||
|
was that she had a fancy to play me the trick of making me
|
||
|
engage myself when in fact she had annihilated the papers.
|
||
|
There was a moment when my suspense on this point was so acute
|
||
|
that I all but broke out with the question, and what kept it back
|
||
|
was but a kind of instinctive recoil (lest it should be a mistake),
|
||
|
from the last violence of self-exposure. She was such a subtle
|
||
|
old witch that one could never tell where one stood with her.
|
||
|
You may imagine whether it cleared up the puzzle when,
|
||
|
just after she had said she would think of my proposal and without
|
||
|
any formal transition, she drew out of her pocket with an
|
||
|
embarrassed hand a small object wrapped in crumpled white paper.
|
||
|
She held it there a moment and then she asked, "Do you know
|
||
|
much about curiosities?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"About curiosities?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"About antiquities, the old gimcracks that people pay so much for today.
|
||
|
Do you know the kind of price they bring?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
I thought I saw what was coming, but I said ingenuously,
|
||
|
"Do you want to buy something?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"No, I want to sell. What would an amateur give me for that?"
|
||
|
She unfolded the white paper and made a motion for me to take from
|
||
|
her a small oval portrait. I possessed myself of it with a hand
|
||
|
of which I could only hope that she did not perceive the tremor,
|
||
|
and she added, "I would part with it only for a good price."
|
||
|
|
||
|
At the first glance I recognized Jeffrey Aspern, and I was well
|
||
|
aware that I flushed with the act. As she was watching me
|
||
|
however I had the consistency to exclaim, "What a striking face!
|
||
|
Do tell me who it is."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"It's an old friend of mine, a very distinguished man in his day.
|
||
|
He gave it to me himself, but I'm afraid to mention his name, lest you
|
||
|
never should have heard of him, critic and historian as you are.
|
||
|
I know the world goes fast and one generation forgets another.
|
||
|
He was all the fashion when I was young."
|
||
|
|
||
|
She was perhaps amazed at my assurance, but I was surprised at hers; at her
|
||
|
having the energy, in her state of health and at her time of life, to wish
|
||
|
to sport with me that way simply for her private entertainment--the humor
|
||
|
to test me and practice on me. This, at least, was the interpretation that I
|
||
|
put upon her production of the portrait, for I could not believe that she
|
||
|
really desired to sell it or cared for any information I might give her.
|
||
|
What she wished was to dangle it before my eyes and put a prohibitive
|
||
|
price on it. "The face comes back to me, it torments me," I said,
|
||
|
turning the object this way and that and looking at it very critically.
|
||
|
It was a careful but not a supreme work of art, larger than the
|
||
|
ordinary miniature and representing a young man with a remarkably
|
||
|
handsome face, in a high-collared green coat and a buff waistcoat.
|
||
|
I judged the picture to have a valuable quality of resemblance and to have
|
||
|
been painted when the model was about twenty-five years old. There are,
|
||
|
as all the world knows, three other portraits of the poet in existence,
|
||
|
but none of them is of so early a date as this elegant production.
|
||
|
"I have never seen the original but I have seen other likenesses," I went on.
|
||
|
"You expressed doubt of this generation having heard of the gentleman,
|
||
|
but he strikes me for all the world as a celebrity. Now who is he?
|
||
|
I can't put my finger on him--I can't give him a label. Wasn't he a writer?
|
||
|
Surely he's a poet." I was determined that it should be she, not I,
|
||
|
who should first pronounce Jeffrey Aspern's name.
|
||
|
|
||
|
My resolution was taken in ignorance of Miss Bordereau's
|
||
|
extremely resolute character, and her lips never formed
|
||
|
in my hearing the syllables that meant so much for her.
|
||
|
She neglected to answer my question but raised her hand to take
|
||
|
back the picture, with a gesture which though ineffectual
|
||
|
was in a high degree peremptory. "It's only a person
|
||
|
who should know for himself that would give me my price,"
|
||
|
she said with a certain dryness.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, then, you have a price?" I did not restore the precious thing;
|
||
|
not from any vindictive purpose but because I instinctively clung to it.
|
||
|
We looked at each other hard while I retained it.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I know the least I would take. What it occurred to me to ask you
|
||
|
about is the most I shall be able to get."
|
||
|
|
||
|
She made a movement, drawing herself together as if,
|
||
|
in a spasm of dread at having lost her treasure, she were going
|
||
|
to attempt the immense effort of rising to snatch it from me.
|
||
|
I instantly placed it in her hand again, saying as I did so,
|
||
|
"I should like to have it myself, but with your ideas I could
|
||
|
never afford it."
|
||
|
|
||
|
She turned the small oval plate over in her lap, with its face down,
|
||
|
and I thought I saw her catch her breath a little, as if she had
|
||
|
had a strain or an escape. This however did not prevent her saying
|
||
|
in a moment, "You would buy a likeness of a person you don't know,
|
||
|
by an artist who has no reputation?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"The artist may have no reputation, but that thing is wonderfully
|
||
|
well painted," I replied, to give myself a reason.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"It's lucky you thought of saying that, because the painter
|
||
|
was my father."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"That makes the picture indeed precious!" I exclaimed, laughing; and I
|
||
|
may add that a part of my laughter came from my satisfaction in finding
|
||
|
that I had been right in my theory of Miss Bordereau's origin. Aspern had
|
||
|
of course met the young lady when he went to her father's studio as a sitter.
|
||
|
I observed to Miss Bordereau that if she would entrust me with her
|
||
|
property for twenty-four hours I should be happy to take advice upon it;
|
||
|
but she made no answer to this save to slip it in silence into her pocket.
|
||
|
This convinced me still more that she had no sincere intention of selling
|
||
|
it during her lifetime, though she may have desired to satisfy herself
|
||
|
as to the sum her niece, should she leave it to her, might expect
|
||
|
eventually to obtain for it. "Well, at any rate I hope you will not offer
|
||
|
it without giving me notice," I said as she remained irresponsive.
|
||
|
"Remember that I am a possible purchaser."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I should want your money first!" she returned with unexpected rudeness;
|
||
|
and then, as if she bethought herself that I had just cause to complain
|
||
|
of such an insinuation and wished to turn the matter off, asked abruptly
|
||
|
what I talked about with her niece when I went out with her that way
|
||
|
in the evening.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You speak as if we had set up the habit," I replied.
|
||
|
"Certainly I should be very glad if it were to become a habit.
|
||
|
But in that case I should feel a still greater scruple at
|
||
|
betraying a lady's confidence."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Her confidence? Has she got confidence?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Here she is--she can tell you herself," I said; for Miss Tita
|
||
|
now appeared on the threshold of the old woman's parlor.
|
||
|
"Have you got confidence, Miss Tita? Your aunt wants very
|
||
|
much to know."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Not in her, not in her!" the younger lady declared, shaking her
|
||
|
head with a dolefulness that was neither jocular not affected.
|
||
|
"I don't know what to do with her; she has fits of horrid imprudence.
|
||
|
She is so easily tired--and yet she has begun to roam--
|
||
|
to drag herself about the house." And she stood looking down
|
||
|
at her immemorial companion with a sort of helpless wonder,
|
||
|
as if all their years of familiarity had not made her perversities,
|
||
|
on occasion, any more easy to follow.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I know what I'm about. I'm not losing my mind.
|
||
|
I daresay you would like to think so," said Miss Bordereau
|
||
|
with a cynical little sigh.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I don't suppose you came out here yourself. Miss Tita must have had to lend
|
||
|
you a hand," I interposed with a pacifying intention.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, she insisted that we should push her; and when she insists!"
|
||
|
said Miss Tita in the same tone of apprehension; as if there were no
|
||
|
knowing what service that she disapproved of her aunt might force
|
||
|
her next to render.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I have always got most things done I wanted, thank God!
|
||
|
The people I have lived with have humored me," the old
|
||
|
woman continued, speaking out of the gray ashes of her vanity.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I suppose you mean that they have obeyed you."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well, whatever it is, when they like you."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"It's just because I like you that I want to resist,"
|
||
|
said Miss Tita with a nervous laugh.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, I suspect you'll bring Miss Bordereau upstairs next to pay me a visit,"
|
||
|
I went on; to which the old lady replied:
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, no; I can keep an eye on you from here!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You are very tired; you will certainly be ill tonight!"
|
||
|
cried Miss Tita.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Nonsense, my dear; I feel better at this moment than I
|
||
|
have done for a month. Tomorrow I shall come out again.
|
||
|
I want to be where I can see this clever gentleman."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Shouldn't you perhaps see me better in your sitting room?"
|
||
|
I inquired.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Don't you mean shouldn't you have a better chance at me?"
|
||
|
she returned, fixing me a moment with her green shade.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Ah, I haven't that anywhere! I look at you but I don't see you."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You excite her dreadfully--and that is not good," said Miss Tita,
|
||
|
giving me a reproachful, appealing look.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I want to watch you--I want to watch you!" the old lady went on.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well then, let us spend as much of our time together as possible--
|
||
|
I don't care where--and that will give you every facility."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, I've seen you enough for today. I'm satisfied. Now I'll go home."
|
||
|
Miss Tita laid her hands on the back of her aunt's chair and began to push,
|
||
|
but I begged her to let me take her place. "Oh, yes, you may move me
|
||
|
this way--you shan't in any other!" Miss Bordereau exclaimed as she
|
||
|
felt herself propelled firmly and easily over the smooth, hard floor.
|
||
|
Before we reached the door of her own apartment she commanded me to stop,
|
||
|
and she took a long, last look up and down the noble sala. "Oh, it's
|
||
|
a magnificent house!" she murmured; after which I pushed her forward.
|
||
|
When we had entered the parlor Miss Tita told me that she should now
|
||
|
be able to manage, and at the same moment the little red-haired
|
||
|
donna came to meet her mistress. Miss Tita's idea was evidently
|
||
|
to get her aunt immediately back to bed. I confess that in spite
|
||
|
of this urgency I was guilty of the indiscretion of lingering;
|
||
|
it held me there to think that I was nearer the documents I coveted--
|
||
|
that they were probably put away somewhere in the faded, unsociable room.
|
||
|
The place had indeed a bareness which did not suggest hidden treasures;
|
||
|
there were no dusky nooks nor curtained corners, no massive cabinets
|
||
|
nor chests with iron bands. Moreover it was possible, it was perhaps
|
||
|
even probable that the old lady had consigned her relics to her bedroom,
|
||
|
to some battered box that was shoved under the bed, to the drawer of some
|
||
|
lame dressing table, where they would be in the range of vision by the dim
|
||
|
night lamp. Nonetheless I scrutinized every article of furniture,
|
||
|
every conceivable cover for a hoard, and noticed that there were half
|
||
|
a dozen things with drawers, and in particular a tall old secretary,
|
||
|
with brass ornaments of the style of the Empire--a receptacle
|
||
|
somewhat rickety but still capable of keeping a great many secrets.
|
||
|
I don't know why this article fascinated me so, inasmuch as I certainly
|
||
|
had no definite purpose of breaking into it; but I stared at it so hard
|
||
|
that Miss Tita noticed me and changed color. Her doing this made me think
|
||
|
I was right and that wherever they might have been before the Aspern papers
|
||
|
at that moment languished behind the peevish little lock of the secretary.
|
||
|
it was hard to remove my eyes from the dull mahogany front when I
|
||
|
reflected that a simple panel divided me from the goal of my hopes;
|
||
|
but I remembered my prudence and with an effort took leave of Miss Bordereau.
|
||
|
To make the effort graceful I said to her that I should certainly bring
|
||
|
her an opinion about the little picture.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"The little picture?" Miss Tita asked, surprised.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"What do YOU know about it, my dear?" the old woman demanded.
|
||
|
"You needn't mind. I have fixed my price."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And what may that be?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"A thousand pounds."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh Lord!" cried poor Miss Tita irrepressibly.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Is that what she talks to you about?" said Miss Bordereau.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Imagine your aunt's wanting to know!" I had to separate from Miss Tita
|
||
|
with only those words, though I should have liked immensely to add,
|
||
|
"For heaven's sake meet me tonight in the garden!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
VIII
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
As it turned out the precaution had not been needed,
|
||
|
for three hours later, just as I had finished my dinner,
|
||
|
Miss Bordereau's niece appeared, unannounced, in the open
|
||
|
doorway of the room in which my simple repasts were served.
|
||
|
I remember well that I felt no surprise at seeing her;
|
||
|
which is not a proof that I did not believe in her timidity.
|
||
|
It was immense, but in a case in which there was a particular
|
||
|
reason for boldness it never would have prevented her from
|
||
|
running up to my rooms. I saw that she was now quite full
|
||
|
of a particular reason; it threw her forward--made her seize me,
|
||
|
as I rose to meet her, by the arm.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"My aunt is very ill; I think she is dying!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Never in the world," I answered bitterly. "Don't you be afraid!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Do go for a doctor--do, do! Olimpia is gone for the one we always have,
|
||
|
but she doesn't come back; I don't know what has happened to her.
|
||
|
I told her that if he was not at home she was to follow him where
|
||
|
he had gone; but apparently she is following him all over Venice.
|
||
|
I don't know what to do--she looks so as if she were sinking."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"May I see her, may I judge?" I asked. "Of course I shall be
|
||
|
delighted to bring someone; but hadn't we better send my man instead,
|
||
|
so that I may stay with you?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
Miss Tita assented to this and I dispatched my servant for the best
|
||
|
doctor in the neighborhood. I hurried downstairs with her,
|
||
|
and on the way she told me that an hour after I quitted them
|
||
|
in the afternoon Miss Bordereau had had an attack of "oppression,"
|
||
|
a terrible difficulty in breathing. This had subsided but had left
|
||
|
her so exhausted that she did not come up: she seemed all gone.
|
||
|
I repeated that she was not gone, that she would not go yet;
|
||
|
whereupon Miss Tita gave me a sharper sidelong glance than she
|
||
|
had ever directed at me and said, "Really, what do you mean?
|
||
|
I suppose you don't accuse her of making believe!"
|
||
|
I forget what reply I made to this, but I grant that in my
|
||
|
heart I thought the old woman capable of any weird maneuver.
|
||
|
Miss Tita wanted to know what I had done to her; her aunt had told
|
||
|
her that I had made her so angry. I declared I had done nothing--
|
||
|
I had been exceedingly careful; to which my companion rejoined
|
||
|
that Miss Bordereau had assured her she had had a scene with me--
|
||
|
a scene that had upset her. I answered with some resentment
|
||
|
that it was a scene of her own making--that I couldn't think
|
||
|
what she was angry with me for unless for not seeing my way
|
||
|
to give a thousand pounds for the portrait of Jeffrey Aspern.
|
||
|
"And did she show you that? Oh, gracious--oh, deary me!"
|
||
|
groaned Miss Tita, who appeared to feel that the situation
|
||
|
was passing out of her control and that the elements of her
|
||
|
fate were thickening around her. I said that I would give
|
||
|
anything to possess it, yet that I had not a thousand pounds;
|
||
|
but I stopped when we came to the door of Miss Bordereau's room.
|
||
|
I had an immense curiosity to pass it, but I thought it my duty
|
||
|
to represent to Miss Tita that if I made the invalid angry she
|
||
|
ought perhaps to be spared the sight of me. "The sight of you?
|
||
|
Do you think she can SEE?" my companion demanded almost
|
||
|
with indignation. I did think so but forebore to say it,
|
||
|
and I softly followed my conductress.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I remember that what I said to her as I stood for a moment beside
|
||
|
the old woman's bed was, "Does she never show you her eyes then?
|
||
|
Have you never seen them?" Miss Bordereau had been divested
|
||
|
of her green shade, but (it was not my fortune to behold Juliana
|
||
|
in her nightcap) the upper half of her face was covered by the fall
|
||
|
of a piece of dingy lacelike muslin, a sort of extemporized
|
||
|
hood which, wound round her head, descended to the end of her nose,
|
||
|
leaving nothing visible but her white withered cheeks and
|
||
|
puckered mouth, closed tightly and, as it were consciously.
|
||
|
Miss Tita gave me a glance of surprise, evidently not seeing a reason
|
||
|
for my impatience. "You mean that she always wears something?
|
||
|
She does it to preserve them."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Because they are so fine?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, today, today!" And Miss Tita shook her head, speaking very low.
|
||
|
"But they used to be magnificent!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Yes indeed, we have Aspern's word for that." And as I looked again
|
||
|
at the old woman's wrappings I could imagine that she had not wished
|
||
|
to allow people a reason to say that the great poet had overdone it.
|
||
|
But I did not waste my time in considering Miss Bordereau, in whom
|
||
|
the appearance of respiration was so slight as to suggest that no human
|
||
|
attention could ever help her more. I turned my eyes all over the room,
|
||
|
rummaging with them the closets, the chests of drawers, the tables.
|
||
|
Miss Tita met them quickly and read, I think, what was in them; but she did
|
||
|
not answer it, turning away restlessly, anxiously, so that I felt rebuked,
|
||
|
with reason, for a preoccupation that was almost profane in the presence
|
||
|
of our dying companion. All the same I took another look, endeavoring to
|
||
|
pick out mentally the place to try first, for a person who should wish
|
||
|
to put his hand on Miss Bordereau's papers directly after her death.
|
||
|
The room was a dire confusion; it looked like the room of an old actress.
|
||
|
There were clothes hanging over chairs, odd-looking shabby bundles
|
||
|
here and there, and various pasteboard boxes piled together,
|
||
|
battered, bulging, and discolored, which might have been fifty years old.
|
||
|
Miss Tita after a moment noticed the direction of my eyes again and,
|
||
|
as if she guessed how I judged the air of the place (forgetting I
|
||
|
had no business to judge it at all), said, perhaps to defend herself
|
||
|
from the imputation of complicity in such untidiness:
|
||
|
|
||
|
"She likes it this way; we can't move things.
|
||
|
There are old bandboxes she has had most of her life."
|
||
|
Then she added, half taking pity on my real thought,
|
||
|
"Those things were THERE." And she pointed to a small,
|
||
|
low trunk which stood under a sofa where there was just room for it.
|
||
|
It appeared to be a queer, superannuated coffer, of painted wood,
|
||
|
with elaborate handles and shriveled straps and with the color
|
||
|
(it had last been endued with a coat of light green) much rubbed off.
|
||
|
It evidently had traveled with Juliana in the olden time--
|
||
|
in the days of her adventures, which it had shared.
|
||
|
It would have made a strange figure arriving at a modern hotel.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"WERE there--they aren't now?" I asked, startled by
|
||
|
Miss Tita's implication.
|
||
|
|
||
|
She was going to answer, but at that moment the doctor came in--
|
||
|
the doctor whom the little maid had been sent to fetch and whom she
|
||
|
had at last overtaken. My servant, going on his own errand, had met
|
||
|
her with her companion in tow, and in the sociable Venetian spirit,
|
||
|
retracing his steps with them, had also come up to the threshold of Miss
|
||
|
Bordereau's room, where I saw him peeping over the doctor's shoulder.
|
||
|
I motioned him away the more instantly that the sight of his prying
|
||
|
face reminded me that I myself had almost as little to do there--
|
||
|
an admonition confirmed by the sharp way the little doctor looked at me,
|
||
|
appearing to take me for a rival who had the field before him.
|
||
|
He was a short, fat, brisk gentleman who wore the tall hat of his
|
||
|
profession and seemed to look at everything but his patient.
|
||
|
He looked particularly at me, as if it struck him that I
|
||
|
should be better for a dose, so that I bowed to him and left
|
||
|
him with the women, going down to smoke a cigar in the garden.
|
||
|
I was nervous; I could not go further; I could not leave the place.
|
||
|
I don't know exactly what I thought might happen, but it seemed
|
||
|
to me important to be there. I wandered about in the alleys--
|
||
|
the warm night had come on--smoking cigar after cigar and looking
|
||
|
at the light in Miss Bordereau's windows. They were open now,
|
||
|
I could see; the situation was different. Sometimes the light moved,
|
||
|
but not quickly; it did not suggest the hurry of a crisis.
|
||
|
Was the old woman dying, or was she already dead? Had the doctor
|
||
|
said that there was nothing to be done at her tremendous age but to
|
||
|
let her quietly pass away; or had he simply announced with a look
|
||
|
a little more conventional that the end of the end had come?
|
||
|
Were the other two women moving about to perform the offices that
|
||
|
follow in such a case? It made me uneasy not to be nearer, as if I
|
||
|
thought the doctor himself might carry away the papers with him.
|
||
|
I bit my cigar hard as it came over me again that perhaps there
|
||
|
were now no papers to carry!
|
||
|
|
||
|
I wandered about for an hour--for an hour and a half.
|
||
|
I looked out for Miss Tita at one of the windows, having a
|
||
|
vague idea that she might come there to give me some sign.
|
||
|
Would she not see the red tip of my cigar moving about in the dark
|
||
|
and feel that I wanted eminently to know what the doctor had said?
|
||
|
I am afraid it is a proof my anxieties had made me gross that I
|
||
|
should have taken in some degree for granted that at such an hour,
|
||
|
in the midst of the greatest change that could take place
|
||
|
in her life, they were uppermost also in Miss Tita's mind.
|
||
|
My servant came down and spoke to me; he knew nothing save
|
||
|
that the doctor had gone after a visit of half an hour.
|
||
|
If he had stayed half an hour then Miss Bordereau was still alive:
|
||
|
it could not have taken so much time as that to enunciate
|
||
|
the contrary. I sent the man out of the house; there were moments
|
||
|
when the sense of his curiosity annoyed me, and this was one of them.
|
||
|
HE had been watching my cigar tip from an upper window,
|
||
|
if Miss Tita had not; he could not know what I was after and I
|
||
|
could not tell him, though I was conscious he had fantastic
|
||
|
private theories about me which he thought fine and which I,
|
||
|
had I known them, should have thought offensive.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I went upstairs at last but I ascended no higher than the
|
||
|
sala. The door of Miss Bordereau's apartment was open,
|
||
|
showing from the parlor the dimness of a poor candle.
|
||
|
I went toward it with a light tread, and at the same moment
|
||
|
Miss Tita appeared and stood looking at me as I approached.
|
||
|
"She's better--she's better," she said, even before I had asked.
|
||
|
"The doctor has given her something; she woke up, came back to life
|
||
|
while he was there. He says there is no immediate danger."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"No immediate danger? Surely he thinks her condition strange!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Yes, because she had been excited. That affects her dreadfully."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"It will do so again then, because she excites herself.
|
||
|
She did so this afternoon."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Yes; she mustn't come out any more," said Miss Tita, with one of her lapses
|
||
|
into a deeper placidity.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"What is the use of making such a remark as that if you begin to rattle
|
||
|
her about again the first time she bids you?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I won't--I won't do it any more."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You must learn to resist her," I went on.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, yes, I shall; I shall do so better if you tell me it's right."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You mustn't do it for me; you must do it for yourself.
|
||
|
It all comes back to you, if you are frightened."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well, I am not frightened now," said Miss Tita cheerfully.
|
||
|
"She is very quiet."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Is she conscious again--does she speak?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"No, she doesn't speak, but she takes my hand. She holds it fast."
|
||
|
|
||
|
'Yes," I rejoined, "I can see what force she still has
|
||
|
by the way she grabbed that picture this afternoon.
|
||
|
But if she holds you fast how comes it that you are here?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
Miss Tita hesitated a moment; though her face was in deep shadow (she had her
|
||
|
back to the light in the parlor and I had put down my own candle far off,
|
||
|
near the door of the sala), I thought I saw her smile ingenuously.
|
||
|
"I came on purpose--I heard your step."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Why, I came on tiptoe, as inaudibly as possible."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well, I heard you," said Miss Tita.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And is your aunt alone now?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, no; Olimpia is sitting there."
|
||
|
|
||
|
On my side I hesitated. "Shall we then step in there?"
|
||
|
And I nodded at the parlor; I wanted more and more to be
|
||
|
on the spot.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"We can't talk there--she will hear us."
|
||
|
|
||
|
I was on the point of replying that in that case we would
|
||
|
sit silent, but I was too conscious that this would not do,
|
||
|
as there was something I desired immensely to ask her.
|
||
|
So I proposed that we should walk a little in the sala, keeping
|
||
|
more at the other end, where we should not disturb the old lady.
|
||
|
Miss Tita assented unconditionally; the doctor was coming again,
|
||
|
she said, and she would be there to meet him at the door.
|
||
|
We strolled through the fine superfluous hall, where on
|
||
|
the marble floor--particularly as at first we said nothing--
|
||
|
our footsteps were more audible than I had expected.
|
||
|
When we reached the other end--the wide window, inveterately closed,
|
||
|
connecting with the balcony that overhung the canal--
|
||
|
I suggested that we should remain there, as she would see
|
||
|
the doctor arrive still better. I opened the window and we passed
|
||
|
out on the balcony. The air of the canal seemed even heavier,
|
||
|
hotter than that of the sala. The place was hushed and void;
|
||
|
the quiet neighborhood had gone to sleep. A lamp, here and there,
|
||
|
over the narrow black water, glimmered in double; the voice
|
||
|
of a man going homeward singing, with his jacket on his
|
||
|
shoulder and his hat on his ear, came to us from a distance.
|
||
|
This did not prevent the scene from being very comme il faut,
|
||
|
as Miss Bordereau had called it the first time I saw her.
|
||
|
Presently a gondola passed along the canal with its slow
|
||
|
rhythmical plash, and as we listened we watched it in silence.
|
||
|
It did not stop, it did not carry the doctor; and after it
|
||
|
had gone on I said to Miss Tita:
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And where are they now--the things that were in the trunk?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"In the trunk?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"That green box you pointed out to me in her room.
|
||
|
You said her papers had been there; you seemed to imply that she
|
||
|
had transferred them."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, yes; they are not in the trunk," said Miss Tita.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"May I ask if you have looked?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Yes, I have looked--for you."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"How for me, dear Miss Tita? Do you mean you would have given them
|
||
|
to me if you had found them?" I asked, almost trembling.
|
||
|
|
||
|
She delayed to reply and I waited. Suddenly she broke out,
|
||
|
"I don't know what I would do--what I wouldn't!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Would you look again--somewhere else?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
She had spoken with a strange unexpected emotion, and she went
|
||
|
on in the same tone: "I can't--I can't--while she lies there.
|
||
|
It isn't decent."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"No, it isn't decent," I replied gravely. "Let the poor lady rest
|
||
|
in peace." And the words, on my lips, were not hypocritical,
|
||
|
for I felt reprimanded and shamed.
|
||
|
|
||
|
Miss Tita added in a moment, as if she had guessed this
|
||
|
and were sorry for me, but at the same time wished to explain
|
||
|
that I did drive her on or at least did insist too much:
|
||
|
"I can't deceive her that way. I can't deceive her--
|
||
|
perhaps on her deathbed."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Heaven forbid I should ask you, though I have been guilty myself!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You have been guilty?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I have sailed under false colors." I felt now as if I must tell
|
||
|
her that I had given her an invented name, on account of my fear
|
||
|
that her aunt would have heard of me and would refuse to take me in.
|
||
|
I explained this and also that I had really been a party to the letter
|
||
|
written to them by John Cumnor months before.
|
||
|
|
||
|
She listened with great attention, looking at me with parted lips,
|
||
|
and when I had made my confession she said, "Then your real name--
|
||
|
what is it?" She repeated it over twice when I had told her,
|
||
|
accompanying it with the exclamation "Gracious, gracious!"
|
||
|
Then she added, "I like your own best."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"So do I," I said, laughing. "Ouf! it's a relief to get rid
|
||
|
of the other."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"So it was a regular plot--a kind of conspiracy?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, a conspiracy--we were only two," I replied, leaving out
|
||
|
Mrs. Prest of course.
|
||
|
|
||
|
She hesitated; I thought she was perhaps going to say that we had been
|
||
|
very base. But she remarked after a moment, in a candid, wondering way,
|
||
|
"How much you must want them!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, I do, passionately!" I conceded, smiling. And this chance
|
||
|
made me go on, forgetting my compunction of a moment before.
|
||
|
"How can she possibly have changed their place herself?
|
||
|
How can she walk? How can she arrive at that sort of muscular exertion?
|
||
|
How can she lift and carry things?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, when one wants and when one has so much will!" said Miss Tita,
|
||
|
as if she had thought over my question already herself and had simply
|
||
|
had no choice but that answer--the idea that in the dead of night,
|
||
|
or at some moment when the coast was clear, the old woman had been
|
||
|
capable of a miraculous effort.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Have you questioned Olimpia? Hasn't she helped her--hasn't she
|
||
|
done it for her?" I asked; to which Miss Tita replied promptly and
|
||
|
positively that their servant had had nothing to do with the matter,
|
||
|
though without admitting definitely that she had spoken to her.
|
||
|
It was as if she were a little shy, a little ashamed now of letting me
|
||
|
see how much she had entered into my uneasiness and had me on her mind.
|
||
|
Suddenly she said to me, without any immediate relevance:
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I feel as if you were a new person, now that you have got a new name."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"It isn't a new one; it is a very good old one, thank heaven!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
She looked at me a moment. "I do like it better."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, if you didn't I would almost go on with the other!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Would you really?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
I laughed again, but for all answer to this inquiry I said,
|
||
|
"Of course if she can rummage about that way she can perfectly
|
||
|
have burnt them."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You must wait--you must wait," Miss Tita moralized mournfully;
|
||
|
and her tone ministered little to my patience, for it
|
||
|
seemed after all to accept that wretched possibility.
|
||
|
I would teach myself to wait, I declared nevertheless;
|
||
|
because in the first place I could not do otherwise and in
|
||
|
the second I had her promise, given me the other night,
|
||
|
that she would help me.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Of course if the papers are gone that's no use," she said;
|
||
|
not as if she wished to recede, but only to be conscientious.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Naturally. But if you could only find out!" I groaned, quivering again.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I thought you said you would wait."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, you mean wait even for that?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"For what then?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, nothing," I replied, rather foolishly, being ashamed
|
||
|
to tell her what had been implied in my submission to delay--
|
||
|
the idea that she would do more than merely find out.
|
||
|
I know not whether she guessed this; at all events she appeared
|
||
|
to become aware of the necessity for being a little more rigid.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I didn't promise to deceive, did I? I don't think I did."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"It doesn't much matter whether you did or not, for you couldn't!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
I don't think Miss Tita would have contested this event had she not been
|
||
|
diverted by our seeing the doctor's gondola shoot into the little canal
|
||
|
and approach the house. I noted that he came as fast as if he believed
|
||
|
that Miss Bordereau was still in danger. We looked down at him
|
||
|
while he disembarked and then went back into the sala to meet him.
|
||
|
When he came up however I naturally left Miss Tita to go off with him alone,
|
||
|
only asking her leave to come back later for news.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I went out of the house and took a long walk, as far as the Piazza,
|
||
|
where my restlessness declined to quit me. I was unable to sit down
|
||
|
(it was very late now but there were people still at the little
|
||
|
tables in front of the cafes); I could only walk round and round,
|
||
|
and I did so half a dozen times. I was uncomfortable, but it gave
|
||
|
me a certain pleasure to have told Miss Tita who I really was.
|
||
|
At last I took my way home again, slowly getting all but
|
||
|
inextricably lost, as I did whenever I went out in Venice:
|
||
|
so that it was considerably past midnight when I reached my door.
|
||
|
The sala, upstairs, was as dark as usual and my lamp as I crossed
|
||
|
it found nothing satisfactory to show me. I was disappointed,
|
||
|
for I had notified Miss Tita that I would come back for a report,
|
||
|
and I thought she might have left a light there as a sign.
|
||
|
The door of the ladies' apartment was closed; which seemed an intimation
|
||
|
that my faltering friend had gone to bed, tired of waiting for me.
|
||
|
I stood in the middle of the place, considering, hoping she would
|
||
|
hear me and perhaps peep out, saying to myself too that she would
|
||
|
never go to bed with her aunt in a state so critical; she would
|
||
|
sit up and watch--she would be in a chair, in her dressing gown.
|
||
|
I went nearer the door; I stopped there and listened.
|
||
|
I heard nothing at all and at last I tapped gently.
|
||
|
No answer came and after another minute I turned the handle.
|
||
|
There was no light in the room; this ought to have prevented me from
|
||
|
going in, but it had no such effect. If I have candidly narrated
|
||
|
the importunities, the indelicacies, of which my desire to possess
|
||
|
myself of Jeffrey Aspern's papers had rendered me capable I need
|
||
|
not shrink from confessing this last indiscretion. I think it was
|
||
|
the worst thing I did; yet there were extenuating circumstances.
|
||
|
I was deeply though doubtless not disinterestedly anxious for more
|
||
|
news of the old lady, and Miss Tita had accepted from me, as it were,
|
||
|
a rendezvous which it might have been a point of honor with me to keep.
|
||
|
It may be said that her leaving the place dark was a positive sign
|
||
|
that she released me, and to this I can only reply that I desired
|
||
|
not to be released.
|
||
|
|
||
|
The door of Miss Bordereau's room was open and I could see beyond it the
|
||
|
faintness of a taper. There was no sound--my footstep caused no one to stir.
|
||
|
I came further into the room; I lingered there with my lamp in my hand.
|
||
|
I wanted to give Miss Tita a chance to come to me if she were with her aunt,
|
||
|
as she must be. I made no noise to call her; I only waited to see
|
||
|
if she would not notice my light. She did not, and I explained this
|
||
|
(I found afterward I was right) by the idea that she had fallen asleep.
|
||
|
If she had fallen asleep her aunt was not on her mind, and my explanation
|
||
|
ought to have led me to go out as I had come. I must repeat again that it
|
||
|
did not, for I found myself at the same moment thinking of something else.
|
||
|
I had no definite purpose, no bad intention, but I felt myself held
|
||
|
to the spot by an acute, though absurd, sense of opportunity.
|
||
|
For what I could not have said, inasmuch as it was not in my mind
|
||
|
that I might commit a theft. Even if it had been I was confronted
|
||
|
with the evident fact that Miss Bordereau did not leave her secretary,
|
||
|
her cupboard, and the drawers of her tables gaping. I had no keys,
|
||
|
no tools, and no ambition to smash her furniture. Nonetheless it came
|
||
|
to me that I was now, perhaps alone, unmolested, at the hour of temptation
|
||
|
and secrecy, nearer to the tormenting treasure than I had ever been.
|
||
|
I held up my lamp, let the light play on the different objects as if it
|
||
|
could tell me something. Still there came no movement from the other room.
|
||
|
If Miss Tita was sleeping she was sleeping sound. Was she doing so--
|
||
|
generous creature--on purpose to leave me the field? Did she know
|
||
|
I was there and was she just keeping quiet to see what I would do--
|
||
|
what I COULD do? But what could I do, when it came to that?
|
||
|
She herself knew even better than I how little.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I stopped in front of the secretary, looking at it
|
||
|
very idiotically; for what had it to say to me after all?
|
||
|
In the first place it was locked, and in the second it
|
||
|
almost surely contained nothing in which I was interested.
|
||
|
Ten to one the papers had been destroyed; and even if they
|
||
|
had not been destroyed the old woman would not have put them
|
||
|
in such a place as that after removing them from the green trunk--
|
||
|
would not have transferred them, if she had the idea of their
|
||
|
safety on her brain, from the better hiding place to the worse.
|
||
|
The secretary was more conspicuous, more accessible
|
||
|
in a room in which she could no longer mount guard.
|
||
|
It opened with a key, but there was a little brass handle,
|
||
|
like a button, as well; I saw this as I played my lamp over it.
|
||
|
I did something more than this at that moment:
|
||
|
I caught a glimpse of the possibility that Miss Tita wished me
|
||
|
really to understand. If she did not wish me to understand,
|
||
|
if she wished me to keep away, why had she not locked the door
|
||
|
of communication between the sitting room and the sala? That
|
||
|
would have been a definite sign that I was to leave them alone.
|
||
|
If I did not leave them alone she meant me to come for a purpose--
|
||
|
a purpose now indicated by the quick, fantastic idea that to oblige
|
||
|
me she had unlocked the secretary. She had not left the key,
|
||
|
but the lid would probably move if I touched the button.
|
||
|
This theory fascinated me, and I bent over very close to judge.
|
||
|
I did not propose to do anything, not even--not in the least--
|
||
|
to let down the lid; I only wanted to test my theory,
|
||
|
to see if the cover WOULD move. I touched the button
|
||
|
with my hand--a mere touch would tell me; and as I did so (it is
|
||
|
embarrassing for me to relate it), I looked over my shoulder.
|
||
|
It was a chance, an instinct, for I had not heard anything.
|
||
|
I almost let my luminary drop and certainly I stepped back,
|
||
|
straightening myself up at what I saw. Miss Bordereau stood
|
||
|
there in her nightdress, in the doorway of her room, watching me;
|
||
|
her hands were raised, she had lifted the everlasting
|
||
|
curtain that covered half her face, and for the first,
|
||
|
the last, the only time I beheld her extraordinary eyes.
|
||
|
They glared at me, they made me horribly ashamed.
|
||
|
I never shall forget her strange little bent white tottering
|
||
|
figure, with its lifted head, her attitude, her expression;
|
||
|
neither shall I forget the tone in which as I turned,
|
||
|
looking at her, she hissed out passionately, furiously:
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Ah, you publishing scoundrel!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
I know not what I stammered, to excuse myself, to explain;
|
||
|
but I went toward her, to tell her I meant no harm.
|
||
|
She waved me off with her old hands, retreating before me in horror;
|
||
|
and the next thing I knew she had fallen back with a quick spasm,
|
||
|
as if death had descended on her, into Miss Tita's arms.
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
IX
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
I left Venice the next morning, as soon as I learned that the old
|
||
|
lady had not succumbed, as I feared at the moment, to the shock
|
||
|
I had given her--the shock I may also say she had given me.
|
||
|
How in the world could I have supposed her capable of getting out
|
||
|
of bed by herself? I failed to see Miss Tita before going; I only saw
|
||
|
the donna, whom I entrusted with a note for her younger mistress.
|
||
|
In this note I mentioned that I should be absent but for a few days.
|
||
|
I went to Treviso, to Bassano, to Castelfranco; I took walks and drives and
|
||
|
looked at musty old churches with ill-lighted pictures and spent hours seated
|
||
|
smoking at the doors of cafes, where there were flies and yellow curtains,
|
||
|
on the shady side of sleepy little squares. In spite of these pastimes,
|
||
|
which were mechanical and perfunctory, I scantily enjoyed my journey:
|
||
|
there was too strong a taste of the disagreeable in my life.
|
||
|
I had been devilish awkward, as the young men say, to be found by Miss
|
||
|
Bordereau in the dead of night examining the attachment of her bureau;
|
||
|
and it had not been less so to have to believe for a good many hours
|
||
|
afterward that it was highly probable I had killed her. In writing
|
||
|
to Miss Tita I attempted to minimize these irregularities; but as she gave
|
||
|
me no word of answer I could not know what impression I made upon her.
|
||
|
It rankled in my mind that I had been called a publishing scoundrel,
|
||
|
for certainly I did publish and certainly I had not been very delicate.
|
||
|
There was a moment when I stood convinced that the only way to make up
|
||
|
for this latter fault was to take myself away altogether on the instant;
|
||
|
to sacrifice my hopes and relieve the two poor women forever of the oppression
|
||
|
of my intercourse. Then I reflected that I had better try a short
|
||
|
absence first, for I must already have had a sense (unexpressed and dim)
|
||
|
that in disappearing completely it would not be merely my own hopes that I
|
||
|
should condemn to extinction. It would perhaps be sufficient if I stayed
|
||
|
away long enough to give the elder lady time to think she was rid of me.
|
||
|
That she would wish to be rid of me after this (if I was not rid of her)
|
||
|
was now not to be doubted: that nocturnal scene would have cured her
|
||
|
of the disposition to put up with my company for the sake of my dollars.
|
||
|
I said to myself that after all I could not abandon Miss Tita, and I continued
|
||
|
to say this even while I observed that she quite failed to comply with my
|
||
|
earnest request (I had given her two or three addresses, at little towns,
|
||
|
post restante) that she would let me know how she was getting on.
|
||
|
I would have made my servant write to me but that he was unable to manage
|
||
|
a pen. It struck me there was a kind of scorn in Miss Tita's silence
|
||
|
(little disdainful as she had ever been), so that I was uncomfortable
|
||
|
and sore. I had scruples about going back and yet I had others
|
||
|
about not doing so, for I wanted to put myself on a better footing.
|
||
|
The end of it was that I did return to Venice on the twelfth day;
|
||
|
and as my gondola gently bumped against Miss Bordereau's steps a certain
|
||
|
palpitation of suspense told me that I had done myself a violence
|
||
|
in holding off so long.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I had faced about so abruptly that I had not telegraphed to my servant.
|
||
|
He was therefore not at the station to meet me, but he poked
|
||
|
out his head from an upper window when I reached the house.
|
||
|
"They have put her into the earth, la vecchia," he said to me
|
||
|
in the lower hall, while he shouldered my valise; and he grinned
|
||
|
and almost winked, as if he knew I should be pleased at the news.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"She's dead!" I exclaimed, giving him a very different look.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"So it appears, since they have buried her."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"It's all over? When was the funeral?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"The other yesterday. But a funeral you could scarcely
|
||
|
call it, signore; it was a dull little passeggio of two gondolas.
|
||
|
Poveretta!" the man continued, referring apparently to Miss Tita.
|
||
|
His conception of funerals was apparently that they were mainly
|
||
|
to amuse the living.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I wanted to know about Miss Tita--how she was and where she was--
|
||
|
but I asked him no more questions till we had got upstairs.
|
||
|
Now that the fact had met me I took a bad view of it,
|
||
|
especially of the idea that poor Miss Tita had had to manage
|
||
|
by herself after the end. What did she know about arrangements,
|
||
|
about the steps to take in such a case? Poveretta indeed!
|
||
|
I could only hope that the doctor had given her assistance
|
||
|
and that she had not been neglected by the old friends
|
||
|
of whom she had told me, the little band of the faithful
|
||
|
whose fidelity consisted in coming to the house once a year.
|
||
|
I elicited from my servant that two old ladies and an old gentleman
|
||
|
had in fact rallied round Miss Tita and had supported her
|
||
|
(they had come for her in a gondola of their own) during the
|
||
|
journey to the cemetery, the little red-walled island of tombs
|
||
|
which lies to the north of the town, on the way to Murano.
|
||
|
It appeared from these circumstances that the Misses Bordereau
|
||
|
were Catholics, a discovery I had never made, as the old woman
|
||
|
could not go to church and her niece, so far as I perceived,
|
||
|
either did not or went only to early mass in the parish,
|
||
|
before I was stirring. Certainly even the priests respected
|
||
|
their seclusion; I had never caught the whisk of the curato's skirt.
|
||
|
That evening, an hour later, I sent my servant down with five
|
||
|
words written on a card, to ask Miss Tita if she would see me
|
||
|
for a few moments. She was not in the house, where he had
|
||
|
sought her, he told me when he came back, but in the garden
|
||
|
walking about to refresh herself and gathering flowers.
|
||
|
He had found her there and she would be very happy to see me.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I went down and passed half an hour with poor Miss Tita.
|
||
|
She had always had a look of musty mourning (as if she
|
||
|
were wearing out old robes of sorrow that would not come
|
||
|
to an end), and in this respect there was no appreciable
|
||
|
change in her appearance. But she evidently had been crying,
|
||
|
crying a great deal--simply, satisfyingly, refreshingly, with a
|
||
|
sort of primitive, retarded sense of loneliness and violence.
|
||
|
But she had none of the formalism or the self-consciousness
|
||
|
of grief, and I was almost surprised to see her standing
|
||
|
there in the first dusk with her hands full of flowers,
|
||
|
smiling at me with her reddened eyes. Her white face,
|
||
|
in the frame of her mantilla, looked longer, leaner than usual.
|
||
|
I had had an idea that she would be a good deal disgusted
|
||
|
with me--would consider that I ought to have been on the spot
|
||
|
to advise her, to help her; and, though I was sure there
|
||
|
was no rancor in her composition and no great conviction
|
||
|
of the importance of her affairs, I had prepared myself
|
||
|
for a difference in her manner, for some little injured look,
|
||
|
half-familiar, half-estranged, which should say to my conscience,
|
||
|
"Well, you are a nice person to have professed things!"
|
||
|
But historic truth compels me to declare that Tita Bordereau's
|
||
|
countenance expressed unqualified pleasure in seeing her late
|
||
|
aunt's lodger. That touched him extremely, and he thought
|
||
|
it simplified his situation until he found it did not.
|
||
|
I was as kind to her that evening as I knew how to be,
|
||
|
and I walked about the garden with her for half an hour.
|
||
|
There was no explanation of any sort between us; I did not ask
|
||
|
her why she had not answered my letter. Still less did I repeat
|
||
|
what I had said to her in that communication; if she chose to let
|
||
|
me suppose that she had forgotten the position in which Miss
|
||
|
Bordereau surprised me that night and the effect of the discovery
|
||
|
on the old woman I was quite willing to take it that way:
|
||
|
I was grateful to her for not treating me as if I had
|
||
|
killed her aunt.
|
||
|
|
||
|
We strolled and strolled and really not much passed between us
|
||
|
save the recognition of her bereavement, conveyed in my manner
|
||
|
and in a visible air that she had of depending on me now,
|
||
|
since I let her see that I took an interest in her.
|
||
|
Miss Tita had none of the pride that makes a person wish
|
||
|
to preserve the look of independence; she did not in the least
|
||
|
pretend that she knew at present what would become of her.
|
||
|
I forebore to touch particularly on that, however, for I certainly
|
||
|
was not prepared to say that I would take charge of her.
|
||
|
I was cautious; not ignobly, I think, for I felt that her
|
||
|
knowledge of life was so small that in her unsophisticated
|
||
|
vision there would be no reason why--since I seemed to pity her--
|
||
|
I should not look after her. She told me how her aunt had died,
|
||
|
very peacefully at the last, and how everything had been done
|
||
|
afterward by the care of her good friends (fortunately, thanks
|
||
|
to me, she said, smiling, there was money in the house;
|
||
|
and she repeated that when once the Italians like you they
|
||
|
are your friends for life); and when we had gone into this
|
||
|
she asked me about my giro, my impressions, the places
|
||
|
I had seen. I told her what I could, making it up partly,
|
||
|
I am afraid, as in my depression I had not seen much;
|
||
|
and after she had heard me she exclaimed, quite as if she
|
||
|
had forgotten her aunt and her sorrow, "Dear, dear, how much
|
||
|
I should like to do such things--to take a little journey!"
|
||
|
It came over me for the moment that I ought to propose some tour,
|
||
|
say I would take her anywhere she liked; and I remarked
|
||
|
at any rate that some excursion--to give her a change--
|
||
|
might be managed: we would think of it, talk it over.
|
||
|
I said never a word to her about the Aspern documents; asked no
|
||
|
questions as to what she had ascertained or what had otherwise
|
||
|
happened with regard to them before Miss Bordereau's death.
|
||
|
It was not that I was not on pins and needles to know, but that I
|
||
|
thought it more decent not to betray my anxiety so soon after
|
||
|
the catastrophe. I hoped she herself would say something, but she
|
||
|
never glanced that way, and I thought this natural at the time.
|
||
|
Later however, that night, it occurred to me that her silence
|
||
|
was somewhat strange; for if she had talked of my movements,
|
||
|
of anything so detached as the Giorgione at Castelfranco, she might
|
||
|
have alluded to what she could easily remember was in my mind.
|
||
|
It was not to be supposed that the emotion produced by her aunt's
|
||
|
death had blotted out the recollection that I was interested
|
||
|
in that lady's relics, and I fidgeted afterward as it came
|
||
|
to me that her reticence might very possibly mean simply
|
||
|
that nothing had been found. We separated in the garden
|
||
|
(it was she who said she must go in); now that she was alone
|
||
|
in the rooms I felt that (judged, at any rate, by Venetian ideas)
|
||
|
I was on rather a different footing in regard to visiting her there.
|
||
|
As I shook hands with her for goodnight I asked her if she
|
||
|
had any general plan--had thought over what she had better do.
|
||
|
"Oh, yes, oh, yes, but I haven't settled anything yet,"
|
||
|
she replied quite cheerfully. Was her cheerfulness explained
|
||
|
by the impression that I would settle for her?
|
||
|
|
||
|
I was glad the next morning that we had neglected practical questions,
|
||
|
for this gave me a pretext for seeing her again immediately.
|
||
|
There was a very practical question to be touched upon.
|
||
|
I owed it to her to let her know formally that of course I did not expect
|
||
|
her to keep me on as a lodger, and also to show some interest in her
|
||
|
own tenure, what she might have on her hands in the way of a lease.
|
||
|
But I was not destined, as it happened, to converse with her for more
|
||
|
than an instant on either of these points. I sent her no message;
|
||
|
I simply went down to the sala and walked to and fro there.
|
||
|
I knew she would come out; she would very soon discover I was there.
|
||
|
Somehow I preferred not to be shut up with her; gardens and big
|
||
|
halls seemed better places to talk. It was a splendid morning,
|
||
|
with something in the air that told of the waning of the long
|
||
|
Venetian summer; a freshness from the sea which stirred the
|
||
|
flowers in the garden and made a pleasant draught in the house,
|
||
|
less shuttered and darkened now than when the old woman was alive.
|
||
|
It was the beginning of autumn, of the end of the golden months.
|
||
|
With this it was the end of my experiment--or would be in the course
|
||
|
of half an hour, when I should really have learned that the papers
|
||
|
had been reduced to ashes. After that there would be nothing left
|
||
|
for me but to go to the station; for seriously (and as it struck me
|
||
|
in the morning light) I could not linger there to act as guardian
|
||
|
to a piece of middle-aged female helplessness. If she had not saved
|
||
|
the papers wherein should I be indebted to her? I think I winced
|
||
|
a little as I asked myself how much, if she HAD saved them,
|
||
|
I should have to recognize and, as it were, to reward such a courtesy.
|
||
|
Might not that circumstance after all saddle me with a guardianship?
|
||
|
If this idea did not make me more uncomfortable as I walked up
|
||
|
and down it was because I was convinced I had nothing to look to.
|
||
|
If the old woman had not destroyed everything before she pounced
|
||
|
upon me in the parlor she had done so afterward.
|
||
|
|
||
|
It took Miss Tita rather longer than I had expected to guess that I was there;
|
||
|
but when at last she came out she looked at me without surprise.
|
||
|
I said to her that I had been waiting for her, and she asked why I had not let
|
||
|
her know. I was glad the next day that I had checked myself before remarking
|
||
|
that I had wished to see if a friendly intuition would not tell her:
|
||
|
it became a satisfaction to me that I had not indulged in that rather
|
||
|
tender joke. What I did say was virtually the truth--that I was too nervous,
|
||
|
since I expected her now to settle my fate.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Your fate?" said Miss Tita, giving me a queer look;
|
||
|
and as she spoke I noticed a rare change in her.
|
||
|
She was different from what she had been the evening before--
|
||
|
less natural, less quiet. She had been crying the day before and
|
||
|
she was not crying now, and yet she struck me as less confident.
|
||
|
It was as if something had happened to her during the night,
|
||
|
or at least as if she had thought of something that troubled her--
|
||
|
something in particular that affected her relations
|
||
|
with me, made them more embarrassing and complicated.
|
||
|
Had she simply perceived that her aunt's not being there now
|
||
|
altered my position?
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I mean about our papers. ARE there any? You must know now."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Yes, there are a great many; more than I supposed."
|
||
|
I was struck with the way her voice trembled as she told me this.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Do you mean that you have got them in there--and that I may see them?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I don't think you can see them," said Miss Tita with an extraordinary
|
||
|
expression of entreaty in her eyes, as if the dearest hope she had in the
|
||
|
world now was that I would not take them from her. But how could she expect
|
||
|
me to make such a sacrifice as that after all that had passed between us?
|
||
|
What had I come back to Venice for but to see them, to take them?
|
||
|
My delight in learning they were still in existence was such that
|
||
|
if the poor woman had gone down on her knees to beseech me never to
|
||
|
mention them again I would have treated the proceeding as a bad joke.
|
||
|
"I have got them but I can't show them," she added.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Not even to me? Ah, Miss Tita!" I groaned, with a voice of infinite
|
||
|
remonstrance and reproach.
|
||
|
|
||
|
She colored, and the tears came back to her eyes;
|
||
|
I saw that it cost her a kind of anguish to take such a stand
|
||
|
but that a dreadful sense of duty had descended upon her.
|
||
|
It made me quite sick to find myself confronted with that
|
||
|
particular obstacle; all the more that it appeared to me I
|
||
|
had been extremely encouraged to leave it out of account.
|
||
|
I almost considered that Miss Tita had assured me that if she
|
||
|
had no greater hindrance than that--! "You don't mean to say
|
||
|
you made her a deathbed promise? It was precisely against
|
||
|
your doing anything of that sort that I thought I was safe.
|
||
|
Oh, I would rather she had burned the papers outright than that!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"No, it isn't a promise," said Miss Tita.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Pray what is it then?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
She hesitated and then she said, "She tried to burn them, but I prevented it.
|
||
|
She had hid them in her bed."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"In her bed?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Between the mattresses. That's where she put them when she
|
||
|
took them out of the trunk. I can't understand how she did it,
|
||
|
because Olimpia didn't help her. She tells me so, and I believe her.
|
||
|
My aunt only told her afterward, so that she shouldn't touch
|
||
|
the bed--anything but the sheets. So it was badly made,"
|
||
|
added Miss Tita simply.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I should think so! And how did she try to burn them?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"She didn't try much; she was too weak, those last days.
|
||
|
But she told me--she charged me. Oh, it was terrible!
|
||
|
She couldn't speak after that night; she could only make signs."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And what did you do?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I took them away. I locked them up."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"In the secretary?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Yes, in the secretary," said Miss Tita, reddening again.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Did you tell her you would burn them?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"No, I didn't--on purpose."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"On purpose to gratify me?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Yes, only for that."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And what good will you have done me if after all you won't show them?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, none; I know that--I know that."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And did she believe you had destroyed them?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I don't know what she believed at the last. I couldn't tell--
|
||
|
she was too far gone."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Then if there was no promise and no assurance I can't see what ties you."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, she hated it so--she hated it so! She was so jealous.
|
||
|
But here's the portrait--you may have that," Miss Tita announced,
|
||
|
taking the little picture, wrapped up in the same manner
|
||
|
in which her aunt had wrapped it, out of her pocket.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I may have it--do you mean you give it to me?"
|
||
|
I questioned, staring, as it passed into my hand.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, yes."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"But it's worth money--a large sum."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well!" said Miss Tita, still with her strange look.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I did not know what to make of it, for it could scarcely mean that she wanted
|
||
|
to bargain like her aunt. She spoke as if she wished to make me a present.
|
||
|
"I can't take it from you as a gift," I said, "and yet I can't afford
|
||
|
to pay you for it according to the ideas Miss Bordereau had of its value.
|
||
|
She rated it at a thousand pounds."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Couldn't we sell it?" asked Miss Tita.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"God forbid! I prefer the picture to the money."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well then keep it."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You are very generous."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"So are you."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I don't know why you should think so," I replied; and this
|
||
|
was a truthful speech, for the singular creature appeared
|
||
|
to have some very fine reference in her mind, which I did
|
||
|
not in the least seize.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well, you have made a great difference for me," said Miss Tita.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I looked at Jeffrey Aspern's face in the little picture,
|
||
|
partly in order not to look at that of my interlocutress,
|
||
|
which had begun to trouble me, even to frighten me a little--
|
||
|
it was so self-conscious, so unnatural. I made no answer to this
|
||
|
last declaration; I only privately consulted Jeffrey Aspern's
|
||
|
delightful eyes with my own (they were so young and brilliant,
|
||
|
and yet so wise, so full of vision); I asked him what on earth
|
||
|
was the matter with Miss Tita. He seemed to smile at me
|
||
|
with friendly mockery, as if he were amused at my case.
|
||
|
I had got into a pickle for him--as if he needed it!
|
||
|
He was unsatisfactory, for the only moment since I had
|
||
|
known him. Nevertheless, now that I held the little picture
|
||
|
in my hand I felt that it would be a precious possession.
|
||
|
"Is this a bribe to make me give up the papers?"
|
||
|
I demanded in a moment, perversely. "Much as I value it,
|
||
|
if I were to be obliged to choose, the papers are what I
|
||
|
should prefer. Ah, but ever so much!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"How can you choose--how can you choose?" Miss Tita
|
||
|
asked, slowly, lamentably.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I see! Of course there is nothing to be said, if you regard
|
||
|
the interdiction that rests upon you as quite insurmountable.
|
||
|
In this case it must seem to you that to part with them would
|
||
|
be an impiety of the worst kind, a simple sacrilege!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
Miss Tita shook her head, full of her dolefulness. "You would understand
|
||
|
if you had known her. I'm afraid," she quavered suddenly--"I'm afraid!
|
||
|
She was terrible when she was angry."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Yes, I saw something of that, that night. She was terrible.
|
||
|
Then I saw her eyes. Lord, they were fine!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I see them--they stare at me in the dark!" said Miss Tita.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You are nervous, with all you have been through."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, yes, very--very!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You mustn't mind; that will pass away," I said, kindly.
|
||
|
Then I added, resignedly, for it really seemed to me that I must
|
||
|
accept the situation, "Well, so it is, and it can't be helped.
|
||
|
I must renounce." Miss Tita, at this, looking at me, gave a low,
|
||
|
soft moan, and I went on: "I only wish to heaven she had
|
||
|
destroyed them; then there would be nothing more to say.
|
||
|
And I can't understand why, with her ideas, she didn't."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, she lived on them!" said Miss Tita.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"You can imagine whether that makes me want less to see them,"
|
||
|
I answered, smiling. "But don't let me stand here as if I
|
||
|
had it in my soul to tempt you to do anything base.
|
||
|
Naturally you will understand if I give up my rooms.
|
||
|
I leave Venice immediately." And I took up my hat, which I
|
||
|
had placed on a chair. We were still there rather awkwardly,
|
||
|
on our feet, in the middle of the sala. She had left
|
||
|
the door of the apartments open behind her but she had not led
|
||
|
me that way.
|
||
|
|
||
|
A kind of spasm came into her face as she saw me take my hat.
|
||
|
"Immediately--do you mean today?" The tone of the words was tragical--
|
||
|
they were a cry of desolation.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, no; not so long as I can be of the least service to you."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well, just a day or two more--just two or three days," she panted.
|
||
|
Then controlling herself, she added in another manner, "She wanted
|
||
|
to say something to me--the last day--something very particular,
|
||
|
but she couldn't."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Something very particular?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Something more about the papers."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And did you guess--have you any idea?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"No, I have thought--but I don't know. I have thought all kinds of things."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And for instance?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Well, that if you were a relation it would be different."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"If I were a relation?"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"If you were not a stranger. Then it would be the same for you as for me.
|
||
|
Anything that is mine--would be yours, and you could do what you like.
|
||
|
I couldn't prevent you--and you would have no responsibility."
|
||
|
|
||
|
She brought out this droll explanation with a little nervous rush,
|
||
|
as if she were speaking words she had got by heart. They gave
|
||
|
me an impression of subtlety and at first I failed to follow.
|
||
|
But after a moment her face helped me to see further,
|
||
|
and then a light came into my mind. It was embarrassing,
|
||
|
and I bent my head over Jeffrey Aspern's portrait.
|
||
|
What an odd expression was in his face! "Get out of it as
|
||
|
you can, my dear fellow!" I put the picture into the pocket
|
||
|
of my coat and said to Miss Tita, "Yes, I'll sell it for you.
|
||
|
I shan't get a thousand pounds by any means, but I shall
|
||
|
get something good."
|
||
|
|
||
|
She looked at me with tears in her eyes, but she seemed to try to smile
|
||
|
as she remarked, "We can divide the money."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"No, no, it shall be all yours." Then I went on, "I think I know
|
||
|
what your poor aunt wanted to say. She wanted to give directions
|
||
|
that her papers should be buried with her."
|
||
|
|
||
|
Miss Tita appeared to consider this suggestion for a moment;
|
||
|
after which she declared, with striking decision, "Oh no,
|
||
|
she wouldn't have thought that safe!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"It seems to me nothing could be safer."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"She had an idea that when people want to publish they are capable--"
|
||
|
And she paused, blushing.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Of violating a tomb? Mercy on us, what must she have thought of me!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"She was not just, she was not generous!" Miss Tita cried
|
||
|
with sudden passion.
|
||
|
|
||
|
The light that had come into my mind a moment before increased.
|
||
|
"Ah, don't say that, for we ARE a dreadful race."
|
||
|
Then I pursued, "If she left a will, that may give you some idea."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I have found nothing of the sort--she destroyed it.
|
||
|
She was very fond of me," Miss Tita added incongruously.
|
||
|
"She wanted me to be happy. And if any person should be kind to me--
|
||
|
she wanted to speak of that."
|
||
|
|
||
|
I was almost awestricken at the astuteness with which
|
||
|
the good lady found herself inspired, transparent astuteness
|
||
|
as it was and sewn, as the phrase is, with white thread.
|
||
|
"Depend upon it she didn't want to make any provision that would
|
||
|
be agreeable to me."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"No, not to you but to me. She knew I should like it if you could
|
||
|
carry out your idea. Not because she cared for you but because
|
||
|
she did think of me," Miss Tita went on with her unexpected,
|
||
|
persuasive volubility. "You could see them--you could use them."
|
||
|
She stopped, seeing that I perceived the sense of that conditional--
|
||
|
stopped long enough for me to give some sign which I did not give.
|
||
|
She must have been conscious, however, that though my face showed
|
||
|
the greatest embarrassment that was ever painted on a human countenance
|
||
|
it was not set as a stone, it was also full of compassion.
|
||
|
It was a comfort to me a long time afterward to consider that she
|
||
|
could not have seen in me the smallest symptom of disrespect.
|
||
|
"I don't know what to do; I'm too tormented, I'm too ashamed!"
|
||
|
she continued with vehemence. Then turning away from me and burying
|
||
|
her face in her hands she burst into a flood of tears. If she did
|
||
|
not know what to do it may be imagined whether I did any better.
|
||
|
I stood there dumb, watching her while her sobs resounded in the great
|
||
|
empty hall. In a moment she was facing me again, with her streaming eyes.
|
||
|
"I would give you everything--and she would understand, where she is--
|
||
|
she would forgive me!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Ah, Miss Tita--ah, Miss Tita," I stammered, for all reply.
|
||
|
I did not know what to do, as I say, but at a venture I made a wild,
|
||
|
vague movement in consequence of which I found myself at the door.
|
||
|
I remember standing there and saying, "It wouldn't do--it wouldn't do!"
|
||
|
pensively, awkwardly, grotesquely, while I looked away to the opposite
|
||
|
end of the sala as if there were a beautiful view there.
|
||
|
The next thing I remember is that I was downstairs and out of the house.
|
||
|
My gondola was there and my gondolier, reclining on the cushions,
|
||
|
sprang up as soon as he saw me. I jumped in and to his usual
|
||
|
"Dove commanda?" I replied, in a tone that made him stare,
|
||
|
"Anywhere, anywhere; out into the lagoon!"
|
||
|
|
||
|
He rowed me away and I sat there prostrate, groaning softly
|
||
|
to myself, with my hat pulled over my face. What in the name
|
||
|
of the preposterous did she mean if she did not mean to offer me
|
||
|
her hand? That was the price--that was the price! And did she
|
||
|
think I wanted it, poor deluded, infatuated, extravagant lady?
|
||
|
My gondolier, behind me, must have seen my ears red as I wondered,
|
||
|
sitting there under the fluttering tenda, with my
|
||
|
hidden face, noticing nothing as we passed--wondered whether
|
||
|
her delusion, her infatuation had been my own reckless work.
|
||
|
Did she think I had made love to her, even to get the papers?
|
||
|
I had not, I had not; I repeated that over to myself for an hour,
|
||
|
for two hours, till I was wearied if not convinced.
|
||
|
I don't know where my gondolier took me; we floated aimlessly
|
||
|
about in the lagoon, with slow, rare strokes. At last I became
|
||
|
conscious that we were near the Lido, far up, on the right hand,
|
||
|
as you turn your back to Venice, and I made him put me ashore.
|
||
|
I wanted to walk, to move, to shed some of my bewilderment.
|
||
|
I crossed the narrow strip and got to the sea beach--I took my
|
||
|
way toward Malamocco. But presently I flung myself down again
|
||
|
on the warm sand, in the breeze, on the coarse dry grass.
|
||
|
It took it out of me to think I had been so much at fault,
|
||
|
that I had unwittingly but nonetheless deplorably trifled.
|
||
|
But I had not given her cause--distinctly I had not.
|
||
|
I had said to Mrs. Prest that I would make love to her;
|
||
|
but it had been a joke without consequences and I had never
|
||
|
said it to Tita Bordereau. I had been as kind as possible,
|
||
|
because I really liked her; but since when had that become a crime
|
||
|
where a woman of such an age and such an appearance was concerned?
|
||
|
I am far from remembering clearly the succession of events and
|
||
|
feelings during this long day of confusion, which I spent entirely
|
||
|
in wandering about, without going home, until late at night;
|
||
|
it only comes back to me that there were moments when I
|
||
|
pacified my conscience and others when I lashed it into pain.
|
||
|
I did not laugh all day--that I do recollect; the case, however it
|
||
|
might have struck others, seemed to me so little amusing.
|
||
|
It would have been better perhaps for me to feel the comic
|
||
|
side of it. At any rate, whether I had given cause or not
|
||
|
it went without saying that I could not pay the price.
|
||
|
I could not accept. I could not, for a bundle of tattered papers,
|
||
|
marry a ridiculous, pathetic, provincial old woman.
|
||
|
it was a proof that she did not think the idea would come to me,
|
||
|
her having determined to suggest it herself in that practical,
|
||
|
argumentative, heroic way, in which the timidity however had
|
||
|
been so much more striking than the boldness that her reasons
|
||
|
appeared to come first and her feelings afterward.
|
||
|
|
||
|
As the day went on I grew to wish that I had never
|
||
|
heard of Aspern's relics, and I cursed the extravagant
|
||
|
curiosity that had put John Cumnor on the scent of them.
|
||
|
We had more than enough material without them, and my
|
||
|
predicament was the just punishment of that most fatal
|
||
|
of human follies, our not having known when to stop.
|
||
|
It was very well to say it was no predicament, that the way
|
||
|
out was simple, that I had only to leave Venice by the first
|
||
|
train in the morning, after writing a note to Miss Tita,
|
||
|
to be placed in her hand as soon as I got clear of the house;
|
||
|
for it was a strong sign that I was embarrassed that when I
|
||
|
tried to make up the note in my mind in advance (I would put it
|
||
|
on paper as soon as I got home, before going to bed), I could
|
||
|
not think of anything but "How can I thank you for the rare
|
||
|
confidence you have placed in me?" That would never do;
|
||
|
it sounded exactly as if an acceptance were to follow.
|
||
|
Of course I might go away without writing a word, but that would
|
||
|
be brutal and my idea was still to exclude brutal solutions.
|
||
|
As my confusion cooled I was lost in wonder at the importance I
|
||
|
had attached to Miss Bordereau's crumpled scraps; the thought
|
||
|
of them became odious to me, and I was as vexed with the old
|
||
|
witch for the superstition that had prevented her from destroying
|
||
|
them as I was with myself for having already spent more money
|
||
|
than I could afford in attempting to control their fate.
|
||
|
I forget what I did, where I went after leaving the Lido
|
||
|
and at what hour or with what recovery of composure I made
|
||
|
my way back to my boat. I only know that in the afternoon,
|
||
|
when the air was aglow with the sunset, I was standing
|
||
|
before the church of Saints John and Paul and looking up
|
||
|
at the small square-jawed face of Bartolommeo Colleoni,
|
||
|
the terrible condottiere who sits so sturdily astride
|
||
|
of his huge bronze horse, on the high pedestal on which
|
||
|
Venetian gratitude maintains him. The statue is incomparable,
|
||
|
the finest of all mounted figures, unless that of Marcus Aurelius,
|
||
|
who rides benignant before the Roman Capitol, be finer:
|
||
|
but I was not thinking of that; I only found myself staring
|
||
|
at the triumphant captain as if he had an oracle on his lips.
|
||
|
The western light shines into all his grimness at that hour
|
||
|
and makes it wonderfully personal. But he continued to look
|
||
|
far over my head, at the red immersion of another day--
|
||
|
he had seen so many go down into the lagoon through the centuries--
|
||
|
and if he were thinking of battles and stratagems they
|
||
|
were of a different quality from any I had to tell him of.
|
||
|
He could not direct me what to do, gaze up at him as I might.
|
||
|
Was it before this or after that I wandered about for an hour
|
||
|
in the small canals, to the continued stupefaction of my gondolier,
|
||
|
who had never seen me so restless and yet so void of a purpose and
|
||
|
could extract from me no order but "Go anywhere--everywhere--all over
|
||
|
the place"? He reminded me that I had not lunched and expressed
|
||
|
therefore respectfully the hope that I would dine earlier.
|
||
|
He had had long periods of leisure during the day, when I had left
|
||
|
the boat and rambled, so that I was not obliged to consider him,
|
||
|
and I told him that that day, for a change, I would touch
|
||
|
no meat. It was an effect of poor Miss Tita's proposal,
|
||
|
not altogether auspicious, that I had quite lost my appetite.
|
||
|
I don't know why it happened that on this occasion I was more than
|
||
|
ever struck with that queer air of sociability, of cousinship
|
||
|
and family life, which makes up half the expression of Venice.
|
||
|
Without streets and vehicles, the uproar of wheels, the brutality
|
||
|
of horses, and with its little winding ways where people
|
||
|
crowd together, where voices sound as in the corridors of a house,
|
||
|
where the human step circulates as if it skirted the angles
|
||
|
of furniture and shoes never wear out, the place has the character
|
||
|
of an immense collective apartment, in which Piazza San Marco
|
||
|
is the most ornamented corner and palaces and churches,
|
||
|
for the rest, play the part of great divans of repose,
|
||
|
tables of entertainment, expanses of decoration. And somehow
|
||
|
the splendid common domicile, familiar, domestic, and resonant,
|
||
|
also resembles a theater, with actors clicking over bridges and,
|
||
|
in straggling processions, tripping along fondamentas. As
|
||
|
you sit in your gondola the footways that in certain parts edge
|
||
|
the canals assume to the eye the importance of a stage, meeting it
|
||
|
at the same angle, and the Venetian figures, moving to and fro
|
||
|
against the battered scenery of their little houses of comedy,
|
||
|
strike you as members of an endless dramatic troupe.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I went to bed that night very tired, without being able to compose
|
||
|
a letter to Miss Tita. Was this failure the reason why I became
|
||
|
conscious the next morning as soon as I awoke of a determination
|
||
|
to see the poor lady again the first moment she would receive me?
|
||
|
That had something to do with it, but what had still more was the fact
|
||
|
that during my sleep a very odd revulsion had taken place in my spirit.
|
||
|
I found myself aware of this almost as soon as I opened my eyes;
|
||
|
it made me jump out of my bed with the movement of a man who remembers
|
||
|
that he has left the house door ajar or a candle burning under a shelf.
|
||
|
Was I still in time to save my goods? That question was in my heart;
|
||
|
for what had now come to pass was that in the unconscious cerebration
|
||
|
of sleep I had swung back to a passionate appreciation of Miss
|
||
|
Bordereau's papers. They were now more precious than ever,
|
||
|
and a kind of ferocity had come into my desire to possess them.
|
||
|
The condition Miss Tita had attached to the possession of them
|
||
|
no longer appeared an obstacle worth thinking of, and for an hour,
|
||
|
that morning, my repentant imagination brushed it aside.
|
||
|
It was absurd that I should be able to invent nothing;
|
||
|
absurd to renounce so easily and turn away helpless from the idea
|
||
|
that the only way to get hold of the papers was to unite myself
|
||
|
to her for life. I would not unite myself and yet I would have them.
|
||
|
I must add that by the time I sent down to ask if she would see me I
|
||
|
had invented no alternative, though to do so I had had all the time
|
||
|
that I was dressing. This failure was humiliating, yet what could
|
||
|
the alternative be? Miss Tita sent back word that I might come;
|
||
|
and as I descended the stairs and crossed the sala to her door--
|
||
|
this time she received me in her aunt's forlorn parlor--I hoped she
|
||
|
would not think my errand was to tell her I accepted her hand.
|
||
|
She certainly would have made the day before the reflection that
|
||
|
I declined it.
|
||
|
|
||
|
As soon as I came into the room I saw that she had drawn this inference,
|
||
|
but I also saw something which had not been in my forecast. Poor Miss
|
||
|
Tita's sense of her failure had produced an extraordinary alteration in her,
|
||
|
but I had been too full of my literary concupiscence to think of that.
|
||
|
Now I perceived it; I can scarcely tell how it startled me.
|
||
|
She stood in the middle of the room with a face of mildness bent upon me,
|
||
|
and her look of forgiveness, of absolution, made her angelic.
|
||
|
It beautified her; she was younger; she was not a ridiculous old woman.
|
||
|
This optical trick gave her a sort of phantasmagoric brightness,
|
||
|
and while I was still the victim of it I heard a whisper somewhere
|
||
|
in the depths of my conscience: "Why not, after all--why not?"
|
||
|
It seemed to me I was ready to pay the price. Still more distinctly
|
||
|
however than the whisper I heard Miss Tita's own voice. I was so struck
|
||
|
with the different effect she made upon me that at first I was not clearly
|
||
|
aware of what she was saying; then I perceived she had bade me goodbye--
|
||
|
she said something about hoping I should be very happy.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Goodbye--goodbye?" I repeated with an inflection interrogative
|
||
|
and probably foolish.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I saw she did not feel the interrogation, she only heard the words;
|
||
|
she had strung herself up to accepting our separation and they
|
||
|
fell upon her ear as a proof. "Are you going today?" she asked.
|
||
|
"But it doesn't matter, for whenever you go I shall not see you again.
|
||
|
I don't want to." And she smiled strangely, with an infinite gentleness.
|
||
|
She had never doubted that I had left her the day before in horror.
|
||
|
How could she, since I had not come back before night to contradict,
|
||
|
even as a simple form, such an idea? And now she had the force of soul--
|
||
|
Miss Tita with force of soul was a new conception--to smile at me
|
||
|
in her humiliation.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"What shall you do--where shall you go?" I asked.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Oh, I don't know. I have done the great thing.
|
||
|
I have destroyed the papers."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Destroyed them?" I faltered.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Yes; what was I to keep them for? I burned them last night,
|
||
|
one by one, in the kitchen."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"One by one?" I repeated, mechanically.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"It took a long time--there were so many." The room seemed to go round me
|
||
|
as she said this, and a real darkness for a moment descended upon my eyes.
|
||
|
When it passed Miss Tita was there still, but the transfiguration
|
||
|
was over and she had changed back to a plain, dingy, elderly person.
|
||
|
It was in this character she spoke as she said, "I can't stay with you longer,
|
||
|
I can't;" and it was in this character that she turned her back upon me,
|
||
|
as I had turned mine upon her twenty-four hours before, and moved to
|
||
|
the door of her room. Here she did what I had not done when I quitted her--
|
||
|
she paused long enough to give me one look. I have never forgotten it
|
||
|
and I sometimes still suffer from it, though it was not resentful.
|
||
|
No, there was no resentment, nothing hard or vindictive in poor Miss Tita;
|
||
|
for when, later, I sent her in exchange for the portrait of Jeffrey Aspern
|
||
|
a larger sum of money than I had hoped to be able to gather for her,
|
||
|
writing to her that I had sold the picture, she kept it with thanks;
|
||
|
she never sent it back. I wrote to her that I had sold the picture,
|
||
|
but I admitted to Mrs. Prest, at the time (I met her in London,
|
||
|
in the autumn), that it hangs above my writing table. When I look at it
|
||
|
my chagrin at the loss of the letters becomes almost intolerable.
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
End of The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Aspern Papers by Henry James
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
.
|