217 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
217 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
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1850
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MORELLA
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by Edgar Allan Poe
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MORELLA
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Itself, by itself, solely, one everlasting, and single.
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PLATO: SYMPOS.
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WITH a feeling of deep yet most singular affection I regarded my
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friend Morella. Thrown by accident into her society many years ago, my
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soul from our first meeting, burned with fires it had never before
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known; but the fires were not of Eros, and bitter and tormenting to my
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spirit was the gradual conviction that I could in no manner define
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their unusual meaning or regulate their vague intensity. Yet we met;
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and fate bound us together at the altar, and I never spoke of
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passion nor thought of love. She, however, shunned society, and,
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attaching herself to me alone rendered me happy. It is a happiness
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to wonder; it is a happiness to dream.
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Morella's erudition was profound. As I hope to live, her talents
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were of no common order- her powers of mind were gigantic. I felt
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this, and, in many matters, became her pupil. I soon, however, found
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that, perhaps on account of her Presburg education, she placed before
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me a number of those mystical writings which are usually considered
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the mere dross of the early German literature. These, for what reason
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I could not imagine, were her favourite and constant study- and that
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in process of time they became my own, should be attributed to the
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simple but effectual influence of habit and example.
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In all this, if I err not, my reason had little to do. My
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convictions, or I forget myself, were in no manner acted upon by the
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ideal, nor was any tincture of the mysticism which I read to be
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discovered, unless I am greatly mistaken, either in my deeds or in
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my thoughts. Persuaded of this, I abandoned myself implicitly to the
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guidance of my wife, and entered with an unflinching heart into the
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intricacies of her studies. And then- then, when poring over
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forbidden pages, I felt a forbidden spirit enkindling within me-
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would Morella place her cold hand upon my own, and rake up from the
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ashes of a dead philosophy some low, singular words, whose strange
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meaning burned themselves in upon my memory. And then, hour after
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hour, would I linger by her side, and dwell upon the music of her
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voice, until at length its melody was tainted with terror, and there
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fell a shadow upon my soul, and I grew pale, and shuddered inwardly at
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those too unearthly tones. And thus, joy suddenly faded into horror,
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and the most beautiful became the most hideous, as Hinnon became
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Ge-Henna.
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It is unnecessary to state the exact character of those
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disquisitions which, growing out of the volumes I have mentioned,
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formed, for so long a time, almost the sole conversation of Morella
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and myself. By the learned in what might be termed theological
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morality they will be readily conceived, and by the unlearned they
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would, at all events, be little understood. The wild Pantheism of
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Fichte; the modified Paliggenedia of the Pythagoreans; and, above all,
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the doctrines of Identity as urged by Schelling, were generally the
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points of discussion presenting the most of beauty to the imaginative
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Morella. That identity which is termed personal, Mr. Locke, I think,
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truly defines to consist in the saneness of rational being. And
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since by person we understand an intelligent essence having reason,
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and since there is a consciousness which always accompanies
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thinking, it is this which makes us all to be that which we call
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ourselves, thereby distinguishing us from other beings that think, and
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giving us our personal identity. But the principium indivduationis,
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the notion of that identity which at death is or is not lost for ever,
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was to me, at all times, a consideration of intense interest; not more
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from the perplexing and exciting nature of its consequences, than from
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the marked and agitated manner in which Morella mentioned them.
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But, indeed, the time had now arrived when the mystery of my wife's
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manner oppressed me as a spell. I could no longer bear the touch of
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her wan fingers, nor the low tone of her musical language, nor the
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lustre of her melancholy eyes. And she knew all this, but did not
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upbraid; she seemed conscious of my weakness or my folly, and,
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smiling, called it fate. She seemed also conscious of a cause, to me
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unknown, for the gradual alienation of my regard; but she gave me no
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hint or token of its nature. Yet was she woman, and pined away
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daily. In time the crimson spot settled steadily upon the cheek, and
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the blue veins upon the pale forehead became prominent; and one
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instant my nature melted into pity, but in, next I met the glance of
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her meaning eyes, and then my soul sickened and became giddy with
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the giddiness of one who gazes downward into some dreary and
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unfathomable abyss.
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Shall I then say that I longed with an earnest and consuming
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desire for the moment of Morella's decease? I did; but the fragile
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spirit clung to its tenement of clay for many days, for many weeks and
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irksome months, until my tortured nerves obtained the mastery over
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my mind, and I grew furious through delay, and, with the heart of a
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fiend, cursed the days and the hours and the bitter moments, which
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seemed to lengthen and lengthen as her gentle life declined, like
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shadows in the dying of the day.
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But one autumnal evening, when the winds lay still in heaven,
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Morella called me to her bedside. There was a dim mist over all the
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earth, and a warm glow upon the waters, and amid the rich October
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leaves of the forest, a rainbow from the firmament had surely fallen.
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"It is a day of days," she said, as I approached; "a day of all days
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either to live or die. It is a fair day for the sons of earth and
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life- ah, more fair for the daughters of heaven and death!"
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I kissed her forehead, and she continued:
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"I am dying, yet shall I live."
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"Morella!"
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"The days have never been when thou couldst love me- but her whom
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in life thou didst abhor, in death thou shalt adore."
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"Morella!"
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"I repeat I am dying. But within me is a pledge of that affection-
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ah, how little!- which thou didst feel for me, Morella. And when my
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spirit departs shall the child live- thy child and mine, Morella's.
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But thy days shall be days of sorrow- that sorrow which is the most
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lasting of impressions, as the cypress is the most enduring of trees.
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For the hours of thy happiness are over and joy is not gathered
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twice in a life, as the roses of Paestum twice in a year. Thou shalt
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no longer, then, play the Teian with time, but, being ignorant of
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the myrtle and the vine, thou shalt bear about with thee thy shroud
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on the earth, as do the Moslemin at Mecca."
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"Morella!" I cried, "Morella! how knowest thou this?" but she turned
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away her face upon the pillow and a slight tremor coming over her
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limbs, she thus died, and I heard her voice no more.
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Yet, as she had foretold, her child, to which in dying she had given
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birth, which breathed not until the mother breathed no more, her
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child, a daughter, lived. And she grew strangely in stature and
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intellect, and was the perfect resemblance of her who had departed,
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and I loved her with a love more fervent than I had believed it
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possible to feel for any denizen of earth.
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But, ere long the heaven of this pure affection became darkened, and
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gloom, and horror, and grief swept over it in clouds. I said the child
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grew strangely in stature and intelligence. Strange, indeed, was her
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rapid increase in bodily size, but terrible, oh! terrible were the
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tumultuous thoughts which crowded upon me while watching the
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development of her mental being. Could it be otherwise, when I daily
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discovered in the conceptions of the child the adult powers and
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faculties of the woman? when the lessons of experience fell from the
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lips of infancy? and when the wisdom or the passions of maturity I
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found hourly gleaming from its full and speculative eye? When, I
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say, all this beeame evident to my appalled senses, when I could no
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longer hide it from my soul, nor throw it off from those perceptions
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which trembled to receive it, is it to be wondered at that suspicions,
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of a nature fearful and exciting, crept in upon my spirit, or that
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my thoughts fell back aghast upon the wild tales and thrilling
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theories of the entombed Morella? I snatched from the scrutiny of
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the world a being whom destiny compelled me to adore, and in the
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rigorous seclusion of my home, watched with an agonizing anxiety
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over all which concerned the beloved.
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And as years rolled away, and I gazed day after day upon her holy,
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and mild, and eloquent face, and poured over her maturing form, day
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after day did I discover new points of resemblance in the child to her
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mother, the melancholy and the dead. And hourly grew darker these
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shadows of similitude, and more full, and more definite, and more
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perplexing, and more hideously terrible in their aspect. For that
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her smile was like her mother's I could bear; but then I shuddered
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at its too perfect identity, that her eyes were like Morella's I could
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endure; but then they, too, often looked down into the depths of my
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soul with Morella's own intense and bewildering meaning. And in the
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contour of the high forehead, and in the ringlets of the silken
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hair, and in the wan fingers which buried themselves therein, and in
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the sad musical tones of her speech, and above all- oh, above all, in
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the phrases and expressions of the dead on the lips of the loved and
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the living, I found food for consuming thought and horror, for a
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worm that would not die.
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Thus passed away two lustra of her life, and as yet my daughter
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remained nameless upon the earth. "My child," and "my love," were
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the designations usually prompted by a father's affection, and the
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rigid seclusion of her days precluded all other intercourse. Morella's
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name died with her at her death. Of the mother I had never spoken to
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the daughter, it was impossible to speak. Indeed, during the brief
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period of her existence, the latter had received no impressions from
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the outward world, save such as might have been afforded by the narrow
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limits of her privacy. But at length the ceremony of baptism presented
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to my mind, in its unnerved and agitated condition, a present
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deliverance from the terrors of my destiny. And at the baptismal
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font I hesitated for a name. And many titles of the wise and
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beautiful, of old and modern times, of my own and foreign lands,
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came thronging to my lips, with many, many fair titles of the
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gentle, and the happy, and the good. What prompted me then to
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disturb the memory of the buried dead? What demon urged me to
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breathe that sound, which in its very recollection was wont to make
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ebb the purple blood in torrents from the temples to the heart? What
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fiend spoke from the recesses of my soul, when amid those dim
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aisles, and in the silence of the night, I whispered within the ears
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of the holy man the syllables- Morella? What more than fiend
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convulsed the features of my child, and overspread them with hues of
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death, as starting at that scarcely audible sound, she turned her
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glassy eyes from the earth to heaven, and falling prostrate on the
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black slabs of our ancestral vault, responded- "I am here!"
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Distinct, coldly, calmly distinct, fell those few simple sounds
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within my ear, and thence like molten lead rolled hissingly into my
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brain. Years- years may pass away, but the memory of that epoch
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never. Nor was I indeed ignorant of the flowers and the vine- but the
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hemlock and the cypress overshadowed me night and day. And I kept no
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reckoning of time or place, and the stars of my fate faded from
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heaven, and therefore the earth grew dark, and its figures passed by
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me like flitting shadows, and among them all I beheld only- Morella.
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The winds of the firmament breathed but one sound within my ears,
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and the ripples upon the sea murmured evermore- Morella. But she
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died; and with my own hands I bore her to the tomb; and I laughed with
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a long and bitter laugh as I found no traces of the first in the
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channel where I laid the second.- Morella.
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THE END
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