467 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
467 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
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/-------------------------------------\
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| The Stoner's Hymnal |
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| by: Buckaroo Banzai |
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| Edited by: Count Nibble |
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| Call Mines of Moria |
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| 120 Megs / Adventure / BBS |
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| (713) 871-8577 (3 ports!) |
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\-------------------------------------/
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----------------------
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Foreword by C.L.Nibble
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----------------------
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All I did was edit a whole bunch of
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little files into one big file, put
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C/Rs where needed to bring the line
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length down around 40 columns, and
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add those Freak Bros. quotes in the
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section on 'Shrooms. All the rest
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of the info is exactly as originally
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presented.
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Just saving everyone a little disk
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space.
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Enjoy . . .
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/\/oo\/\
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------------
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Introduction
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------------
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ok.. i know these are kinda small..
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just something i wanted to do... i
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did it in about 4 hours...
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anyway.. it is 5:00 am ... i ve been
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workin since 1:00
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damn.. bus comes in 1 hr & 1/2...
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fuck school then.
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well.. now i have time to upload it when i get up around 9
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(am)
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or 10
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who knows
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goodnight.
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buckaroo banzai... one tired mo-fo
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Feb 20, 5:11 am
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/s
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------------------------------
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Part 1: The Real Stoners Guide
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------------------------------
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Real stoners know the difference
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between 1 1/2 papers and 1 1/4.
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Real stoners often hang out with
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real phreaks, and real philewriters,
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and real pirates.
<0A>
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Real stoners often are real phreaks,
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real philewriters, and real pirates.
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Real stoners always use Zig-Zag
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papers (if there are none, then
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they use Job or Joker)
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Real stoners are never available at
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home on a Friday or Saturday night.
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Real stoners never act like real
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geeks, real losers, or the like.
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Real stoners know that you can't buy
<0A>
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weed on Sunday night.
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Real stoners know what a real bong
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is and have seen, made or.used one.
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Real stoners don't use thier pipes
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to smoke pipe tobacco.
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Real stoners would never smoke
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menthol cigarettes.
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(Real stoners smoke Marlboro Reds)
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Real stoners never use matches.
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They have real lighters.
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Real stoners laugh when some kid
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is pretending to be a real stoner.
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(They can tell because real stoners
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know how to inhale, french inhale,
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and optionally blow smoke rings.)
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Real stoners don't need to read this
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phile, because they are real stoners.
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Real stoners like to use spray paint
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cans on thier Un-Real school.
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Real stoners don't really give a
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shit.
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Real stoners can roll a joint.
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Real stoners own a real pipe.
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(whether it is bought, ripped off,
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or homemade)
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Real stoners also own a real
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roach clip.
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---------------------------
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Part 2: How To Roll A Joint
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---------------------------
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First off... you need some rolling
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papers, I recommend Zig-Zag 1 1/2.
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(the orange pack)
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Now all you need is some weed, a wet
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tounge, and some skillfull fingers.
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(yeah... I'm stalling for time.)
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ok... take out 1 rolling paper. (1 1/2)
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here's how it should look:
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___________________
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|_________:_________|
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|_________:_________| <-gummed
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strip
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^
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crease
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ok.. fold it to look like this:
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___________________
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| : |
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|---------:---------| <-new
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| : | creases
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|---------:---------| <--/
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| : |
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| : |
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|_________:_________|
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|_________:_________| <-gummed
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edge
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^
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straightened
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out crease
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now, add the weed as follows:
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___________________
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> | : | <- flap a
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|---------:---------|
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|xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx | <- weed
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|---------:---------|
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|_________:_________|
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|_________:_________|
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fold flap a over the weed, trapping it
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in, (the little space is the end that
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you put your mouth on, call it area b)
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now roll down to the end, and lick the
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gummed edge, like an envelope. Now
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seal it.
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Here's what it looks like now:
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_____________
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O__________|__| <- Area B
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Now fold area B's lower right hand
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corner up to look like this:
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_____________
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O____________/
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Now don't make area b really tight, or
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you won't be able to get a good hit,
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but not so loose that the tobacco
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comes flying into your mouth.
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Have fun... (thanks to me huh?)
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----------------------------
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Part 3: How To Smoke A Joint
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----------------------------
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First off.. you need a joint.
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Ok.. now , you need a fire. any kind
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will do, lighter, match, fireplace,
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blowtorch, flamethrower, a burning
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building... etc...
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ok... now light and take a drag, don't
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inhale, now swallow it, and repeat this
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procedure intill you can't hold it no
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more.. (about 7-9 of them)
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now, you can inhale , now that you
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have been doing it the other way.. i
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like to french inhale, it is alot eaiser
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to do because once you inhale it, it is
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there for good, and you can keep all
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the smoke in your mouth, and breath
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through your nose.. then continue.
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but anyway, for the next couple of
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hours you will have a garunteed, or
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your money back, blast.
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-----------------------------------
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Part 4: How To Have Fun While Fried
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-----------------------------------
<0A>
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here are some good suggestions, they
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have been personally tested by me to
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insure safeness.
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Go over to Photon with a few friends
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who are also fried.
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Play goonies on your computer.
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print out some of those anarchy
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things on terrorizing the nieghbor-
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hood and go test em out.
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play pole position on the freeway.
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get sum pussy.
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read a book.. (trips your brain,
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i was reading dune)
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(^^^ i REALLY tripped.)
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it makes you feel like you are actually
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there.
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play bicycle football.. really
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funny if your watching, but it hurts
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like hell playing.
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cruiz around.
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go to astroworld (i have'nt tried this
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one, but i am sure it would be
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great.)
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if i have'nt typed it, it ain't worth
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doing... (execpt for a few things)
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like gettin even more wasted.
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------------------------------------
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Part 5: What To Do With your Roaches
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------------------------------------
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Roaches are the part of a joint that
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you can't smoke because it is to hot
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for your fingers.
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I like to eat the roaches. It will
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get you stoned awile after you eat
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it.. it has to have time to get the
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THC to your brain.
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use a roach clip. (something like
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tweezers, an alligator clip,etc,
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used to hold the joint so you don't
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burn your fingers)
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I take my roaches and drop them in my
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pipe, when it has like 10-12 roaches
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in there, I tamp it, and smoke..
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Save it up and make tea.
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take the unused portion out of the
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paper, and put it back in your zip-
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lock baggie full of weed.
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whadda mean you don't use a ziplock
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baggie, do you want stale weed or what?
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----------------------------
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Part 6: How To Make Weed Tea
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----------------------------
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ok.. take a lipton tea bag, and open it
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up and trash the tea.. pour in your
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weed, tape or staple the bag back
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together, and just act as is you were
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making ice tea or sun tea, or hot spice
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tea.
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i like it hot with sugar
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----------------------------------
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Part 7: Related Subjects: 'Shrooms
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----------------------------------
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"The way to identify them is if the
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stems turn blue after you break
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them . . ."
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-Phineas
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"I don't trust anything that grows
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out of cow flop! I don't trust
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anything that doesn't come in a
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nice clean gelatin capsule!"
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-Fat Freddy
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ok... do you live near a cow pasture?
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or have access to one? ok.. get some
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rubber gloves and closepins.
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ok.. closepin your nose, and climb over
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the barbed wire fence. ok.. go around
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looking under and inside of cow patties
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(sounds fun so far eh?)
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ok.. look for little green mushrooms..
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a friend of mine found a big one about
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6 inches diameter.. ok.. take them home
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and wash em off..
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now you have shrooms!
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wow! now boys and girls, what chemical
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is in shrooms? thats right, lsd.
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squeeze the liquid out onto a sheet,
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and then take one of those hole
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punchers with the little blue holders
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so the paper holes don't fly away and
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make a mess.
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now take the hole puncher and punch
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out all of the paper... (make sure the
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paper has been sitting for around an
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hour before punching) , now empty those
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out into a ziplock baggie and take it
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to school.. effects last for about
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6 hours.
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I got away with selling them for 50
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cents each... sold 'em to little 6th
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graders, and 7th graders that think
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they are "REAL STONERS", although
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i am sure none of them have a pipe,
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know how to inhale or have even ever
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seen weed.
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but anyway... the drug doggie passed it by..
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ok... now for the fun, you can
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blackmail them, (threaten to tell thier
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mommie, or the principal) , and if they
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say, well, I'm gonna tell you sold it to
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me! then just tell him about the part
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how you got it from a cowfield, and i
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assure you, although you will have no
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more customers, that the kids are not
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about to tell anyone they had something
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that was under shit in their mouth.
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heheh... (don't tell them that you
|
|||
|
|
thouroghly washed, or that it is only
|
|||
|
|
the juice, not the thing it self.)
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
--------------------------------------
|
|||
|
|
Part 8: Related Subjects: 'Shroom Soup
|
|||
|
|
--------------------------------------
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
now you have shrooms!
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
now boil them, and slice them up, and
|
|||
|
|
put them into like a chicken noodle
|
|||
|
|
soup or something... the affects last
|
|||
|
|
for about 12-24 hrs.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
a real blast.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
sell this one too.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
give a few spoonfuls to friends, or
|
|||
|
|
get them to help with the whole
|
|||
|
|
process, and they can have a few
|
|||
|
|
gallons.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
/-------------------------------------\
|
|||
|
|
| Call Terrapin Station 505/865-0883 |
|
|||
|
|
| pw:CICADA / 300/1200 / up 24hrs |
|
|||
|
|
| Sysop: Count Lazlo Nibble /\/oo\/\ |
|
|||
|
|
\-------------------------------------/
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
|
|||
|
|
Another file downloaded from: The NIRVANAnet(tm) Seven
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Taipan Enigma 510/935-5845
|
|||
|
|
Burn This Flag Zardoz 408/363-9766
|
|||
|
|
realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 510/527-1662
|
|||
|
|
Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 801/278-2699
|
|||
|
|
The New Dork Sublime Biffnix 415/864-DORK
|
|||
|
|
The Shrine Rif Raf 206/794-6674
|
|||
|
|
Planet Mirth Simon Jester 510/786-6560
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
|
|||
|
|
X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
|