104 lines
4.4 KiB
Plaintext
104 lines
4.4 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
||
|
|
Conspiracy Nation -- Vol. 11 Num. 23
|
||
|
|
=======================================
|
||
|
|
("Quid coniuratio est?")
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
--------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
BILL CLINTON: A LAUGH RIOT
|
||
|
|
==========================
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
"Wee Willie Clinton runs all around.
|
||
|
|
He's uptown, downtown, in his night-gown."
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
"Wow! Hubba-hubba! Look at that chick!" exclaims Governor Bill
|
||
|
|
Clinton (Arkansas) to an Arkansas State Police bodyguard. "Go
|
||
|
|
get her! I'll be up in my hotel room."
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Paula Jones, a state employee, is summoned to meet with the
|
||
|
|
then-Governor of her state. She enters Bill Clinton's hotel
|
||
|
|
room. The door is closed behind her. By way of introduction,
|
||
|
|
Bill Clinton says, "You sure are a fox! Have you ever 'done it'
|
||
|
|
with a real live Governor before!?"
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
She is embarrassed. The smooth young Governor makes his next
|
||
|
|
move. He pulls down his pants and exposes his erect member.
|
||
|
|
"Kiss it," he commands.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Bill Clinton's penis must have been erect. A sworn affidavit by
|
||
|
|
Ms. Jones, as reported in the Washington Times (10/15/97),
|
||
|
|
describes the "distinguishing characteristic" of Bill Clinton's
|
||
|
|
penis as "a distinctly angled bend visible when the penis is
|
||
|
|
erect."
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
In 1969-74 we had "Tricky Dick" Nixon. Today, we have "Crooked
|
||
|
|
Dick" Clinton.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Governor Bill did not "score" with Paula Jones, but he has been
|
||
|
|
lucky with numerous other sexual "conquests." For example, the
|
||
|
|
leonine Lothario had a jolly time with former Miss Arkansas,
|
||
|
|
Sally Perdue. Says Ms. Perdue:
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
When I see him now, president of the United States, meeting
|
||
|
|
world leaders, I can't believe it... I still have this
|
||
|
|
picture of him, wearing my black nightgown, playing the sax
|
||
|
|
badly; this guy, tiptoeing across the park and getting
|
||
|
|
caught on the fence. How do you expect me to take him
|
||
|
|
seriously? (Spotlight, 2/7/94)
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
So you see, Sally Perdue even still gets a chuckle from our Mr.
|
||
|
|
Bill.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Bill did another funny thing one time when he needed a haircut.
|
||
|
|
He was President and in Air Force One, on the runway. But it was
|
||
|
|
time for a haircut! Bill Clinton must have had a laugh when he
|
||
|
|
caused air traffic to grind to a halt while a barber was brought
|
||
|
|
aboard. "Snip, snip, snip," went the barber's shears; "Haw, haw,
|
||
|
|
haw," laughed Bill Clinton as he lorded it over delayed airline
|
||
|
|
passengers.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Now Bill Clinton is down in South America. Prior to arrival in
|
||
|
|
Brazil, the Clinton team asked the entire nation of Brazil, equal
|
||
|
|
in size to the continental United States, to temporarily suspend
|
||
|
|
daylight savings time. (Brazil is in the southern hemisphere.)
|
||
|
|
Brazil was asked to go back to standard time while Big Bill was
|
||
|
|
there so that the laugh-a-minute leader's "scheduling" problems
|
||
|
|
would be eased. (Electronic Telegraph, 10/14/97)
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
In Brazil on October 14th, the Brazilian people tried to get in
|
||
|
|
on the fun our chief executive inspires. Crowds threw manure on
|
||
|
|
Bill Clinton's limousine as it snaked through the city of
|
||
|
|
Brasilia. (AP 10/14/97) The practical joke did not seem to anger
|
||
|
|
Bill, who was not "burned up" about it. But when the Brazilians
|
||
|
|
next burned Clinton in effigy, he must have been wondering,
|
||
|
|
"What's funny about that?"
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Next stop is Argentina for the big, goofy guy from Arkansas.
|
||
|
|
After that, who knows? Bet on this: there's bound to be
|
||
|
|
laughs-a-plenty!
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
For related stories, visit:
|
||
|
|
http://www.shout.net/~bigred/cn.html
|
||
|
|
http://feustel.mixi.net
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
-----------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
|
Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those
|
||
|
|
of Conspiracy Nation, nor of its Editor in Chief.
|
||
|
|
-----------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
|
I encourage distribution of "Conspiracy Nation."
|
||
|
|
-----------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
|
New mailing list: leave message in the old hollow tree stump.
|
||
|
|
-----------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
|
Want to know more about Whitewater, Oklahoma City bombing, etc?
|
||
|
|
(1) telnet prairienet.org (2) logon as "visitor" (3) go citcom
|
||
|
|
-----------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
|
Aperi os tuum muto, et causis omnium filiorum qui pertranseunt.
|
||
|
|
Aperi os tuum, decerne quod justum est, et judica inopem et
|
||
|
|
pauperem. -- Liber Proverbiorum XXXI: 8-9
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|