191 lines
4.3 KiB
Standard ML
191 lines
4.3 KiB
Standard ML
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Article 7392 of rec.humor:
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>From: hirayama@suvax1.UUCP (Pat Hirayama)
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Subject: Fun With Unix -- Summary -- LONG!
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Keywords: all those unix jokes (?)
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Message-ID: <1204@suvax1.UUCP>
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Date: 25 Aug 88 23:17:19 GMT
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Organization: Seattle University, Seattle, WA.
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OK folks. Here is a summary of (nearly) all of the 'Fun With Unix'
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jokes (?) that were posted over the past few weeks. There are a
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few that I couldn't figure out, so those are at the end.
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Disclaimer: Just because it is under the cshell section doesn't mean
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that it won't work under bourne shell, and the converse is also true.
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Also, if you are sick and tired of these things...HIT 'n' NOW!!!!!!
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----
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>From the csh (cshell):
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% make love
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Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.
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% got a light?
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No match.
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% sleep with me
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bad character
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% man: Why did you get a divorce?
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man:: Too many arguments.
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% rm God
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rm: God nonexistent
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% man woman
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No manual entry for woman.
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% man ' automatic insertion'
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No manual entry for automatic insertion.
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% make 'heads or tails of all this'
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Make: Don't know how to make heads or tails of all this. Stop.
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% make sense
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Make: Don't know how to make sense. Stop.
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% make mistake
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Make: Don't know how to make mistake. Stop.
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% make bottle.open
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Make: Don't know how to make bottle.open. Stop.
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% \(-
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(-: Command not found.
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% rm -i God
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rm: remove God? y
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% ls God
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God not found
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% make God
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Make: Don't know how to make God. Stop.
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% make light
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Make: Don't know how to make light. Stop.
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% date me
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You are not superuser: date not set
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Thu Aug 25 15:52:30 PDT 1988
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% who is smart
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suvax1!hirayama tty12 Aug 25 15:04
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% man rear
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No manual entry for rear.
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% If I had a ) for every dollar Reagan spent, what would I have?
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Too many )'s.
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% * How would you describe George Bush
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*: Ambiguous.
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% %Vice-President
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%Vice-President: No such job.
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% ls Meese-Ethics
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Meese-Ethics not found
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% "How would you rate Reagan's senility?
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Unmatched ".
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% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
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Missing ].
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% ^How did the^sex change operation go?
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Modifier failed.
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% cp /dev/null sex;chmod 000 sex
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% more sex
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sex: Permission denied
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% mv sex show
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% strip show
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strip: show: Permission denied
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% who is my match?
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No match.
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% set i="Democratic_Platform";mkdir $i;chmod 000 $i;ls $i
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Democratic_Platform unreadable
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% awk "Polly, the ship is sinking"
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awk: syntax error near line 1
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awk: bailing out near line
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% %blow
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%blow: No such job.
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% 'thou shalt not commit adultery'
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thou shalt not commit adultery: Command not found.
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And from the bourne shell (sh):
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$ drink < bottle;opener
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bottle: cannot open
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opener: not found
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$ test my argument
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test: too many arguments
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$ "Amelia Earhart"
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Amelia Earhart: not found
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$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
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no sense in pretending!
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$ man -kisses dog
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dog: nothing appropriate
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$ mkdir "Yellow Pages";fiYellow Pages
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$ mkdir matter;cat > matter
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matter: cannot create
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$ lost
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lost: not found
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$ found
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found: not found
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$ i=Hoffa ;>$i ;$i ;rm $i ;rm $i
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Hoffa: cannot execute
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rm: Hoffa nonexistent
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The following are ones that I can't get to work on my BSD 4.3, so I suppose
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that they are stuff from ATT SysV or some other such:
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% strip bra
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bra: Cannot open
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% sccs what bottle
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can't open bottle (26)
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$ cat "door: paws too slippery"
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can't open door: paws too slippery
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$ cat food_in_tin_cans
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cat: can't open food_in_tin_cans
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% analyze R/etc/analyze
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These are ones that I couldn't get to work at all (at least so that
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they would make [humorous] sense):
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% test without warning
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test: too many arguments
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% test without arguments
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test: too many arguments
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% test I bet five bucks you will say argument expected
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test: too many arguments
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Obviously, there must be something different about other people's tests :)
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Pat Hirayama, Computer & Information Services, Seattle U, Seattle, WA 98122
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UUCP: ..!uw-entropy!{dataio,thebes}!suvax1!hirayama
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or: suvax1!hirayama@entropy.ms.washington.edu
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Bove's Theorem: The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal
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increases as the deadline approaches.
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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