108 lines
6.4 KiB
Plaintext
108 lines
6.4 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
|||
|
|
(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*( THE UAG PRESENT *)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)
|
|||
|
|
(*) (UNITED ANARCHIST'S GUILD) (*)
|
|||
|
|
(*) (*)
|
|||
|
|
(*) Tales of a thirteen year old loser... (*)
|
|||
|
|
(*) Written by THE KRACKER,THE TRASH CAN MAN (*)
|
|||
|
|
(*) (having much experience destroying 13) (*)
|
|||
|
|
(*) (year old TI/Commie users.............) (*)
|
|||
|
|
(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*----------------------*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
In case you are wondering, this file is a non-fictional account of the life of
|
|||
|
|
a thirteen year old modem/TI/Commodore user.
|
|||
|
|
Anyone who meets the qualifications is seriously a low-life nothing, and you
|
|||
|
|
should think about committing suicide. If you don't I'll provide help...
|
|||
|
|
I'll push you off of the building, or shoot the rifle.
|
|||
|
|
Besides.......thirteen year olds are fuckin' cock suckers!
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Once upon a time, Johnny Pirate Jr. was having a great day. When he
|
|||
|
|
came home on his bright yellow school bus and walked into his house, to his
|
|||
|
|
surprise, he found a TI/99/4a sitting on top of the desk in the FAMILY room.
|
|||
|
|
"Oh gee," said Johnny, "A computer! K-rad! and a disk drive, Volksmodem, and a
|
|||
|
|
TI printer! Golly Mom and Dad, this must have cost you a fortune, maybe about
|
|||
|
|
150 or even 200 dollars!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" So Johnny got to work on setting up
|
|||
|
|
his TI in the family room (after he did his school work, of course!).
|
|||
|
|
About three hours later, Johnny had it all set up. He first turned it
|
|||
|
|
on, and started reading the BASIC manual. "Gee, it can print HELLO! <00l!"
|
|||
|
|
So after he had a grand old time with that, he got out his version of print
|
|||
|
|
shop, and ripped open the BOX (which cost a wallopping $19!). He then made a
|
|||
|
|
printout of a bottle of beer. He then ran into his parents bedroom and yelled,
|
|||
|
|
"MOM DAD LOOK WHAT I DID! I MADE A PICTURE!"
|
|||
|
|
"Johnny, if you come into our room again and wake us up, we'll punish
|
|||
|
|
you for a whole week. Let me see that picture anyway,"said father."Oh my god,
|
|||
|
|
Johnny, if you ever print out a naughty picture, such as alcohol, again, I'll
|
|||
|
|
bring you to the confession booth and make you confess to father Billy, and
|
|||
|
|
he'll make you drop out of the youth group and serve time in the GOD SQUAD
|
|||
|
|
to write out bibles in ink! Now get to bed, christ, it's almost 9:00!"
|
|||
|
|
The next day (Saturday morning, after WWF faggot wrestling),
|
|||
|
|
Johnny started on his Volksmodem. First he called up all of the local bitch
|
|||
|
|
boards. He couldn't use the phone for long distance calls 'till he's 17 said
|
|||
|
|
his parents. Once he got online to a local bitch board, he hollered,
|
|||
|
|
"Oh my god, I am on THE HACKING bulletin board, wonder if they copy games!
|
|||
|
|
I don't think I should join this board because the police might find out and
|
|||
|
|
arrest me!" So Johnny hung up, and of course, hung the board. Unfortunately,
|
|||
|
|
Johnny left his name, phone number, address, and when it asked for any hacking
|
|||
|
|
info (such as cards,codes,etc.), he left his dad's credit card number and
|
|||
|
|
he said, "Phreak, ya i do get pretty wound up on a friday night, you could say
|
|||
|
|
I phreak out! Ha ha ha ha ha,snicker,snicker!"
|
|||
|
|
An hour later, the sysop of the board Johnny last hung called
|
|||
|
|
him. "Ok prick, you are gonna die!" said the sysop.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"Why?" asked Johnny.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"You hung my fuckin' board, and my hard disk got fucked up:it was deleted!"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"So what, you can't do anything about it, I'M A HACKER!" said Johnny.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"Fine, either you commit suicide, or destroy your computer, meaning throw
|
|||
|
|
it in the trash and burn it, or you will die. Understand?"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"NO!" exclaimed Johnny, "You can't do that, I'll call the cops!"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"Fine, be seeing you, prick," said the sysop, "CLICK....."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
The next morning, Johnny woke up in dismay to find a pipebomb to
|
|||
|
|
come crashing through his window. When it exploded, he was blown into
|
|||
|
|
the hall. He then ran into his parents bedroom to find that they were tied-
|
|||
|
|
up, with a ballgag in their mouths. Their captors were 4 people in black ski
|
|||
|
|
masks with Uzi's. "Come with us Johnny, we are going for a little trip. You
|
|||
|
|
should never fuck with a sysop and try to get away with it." So they grabbed
|
|||
|
|
Johnny, tied him and gagged him, and took-off in a black pick-up truck.
|
|||
|
|
JOHNNY'S PARENTS :
|
|||
|
|
Were found found by relatives to be tied to
|
|||
|
|
their bed nude. They were both in strange
|
|||
|
|
sexual positions, and had numerous bruses.
|
|||
|
|
When they were about to be untied, the
|
|||
|
|
motion detector the kidnappers left went
|
|||
|
|
off and detonated a bomb that sat next to
|
|||
|
|
a barrel of nitro-glicerine, causing their
|
|||
|
|
whole street to be blown to pieces and
|
|||
|
|
cause the forest near by to be engulfed in
|
|||
|
|
flames, and devestated their city, what was
|
|||
|
|
left of it anyway!
|
|||
|
|
JOHNNY PIRATE :
|
|||
|
|
Was never heard from again. Some claim
|
|||
|
|
to see his picture in homosexual porno
|
|||
|
|
magazines,such as MBLA (the man-boy love
|
|||
|
|
association).
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
COMING SOON.........Brady Bunch Massacre II!
|
|||
|
|
How to Kill a Teacher!
|
|||
|
|
Torture Techniques!
|
|||
|
|
Fun Things to do to a 13 Year Old!
|
|||
|
|
Construction Site Madness!
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Written By THE KRACKER,THE TRASH CAN MAN United Anarchists Guild 1986
|
|||
|
|
Thanx to: Neon Knights/Metal Communications,Shadow Brotherhood,Pirate's Guild,
|
|||
|
|
and all of those AE's out there.....
|
|||
|
|
Call :
|
|||
|
|
Pirate's Front AE/BBS...................201-874-0773
|
|||
|
|
Miliways AE/CF/BBS......................609-921-1994
|
|||
|
|
Metal AE (pw:KILL)......................201-879-6668
|
|||
|
|
Metal Land West AE/CF/BBS...............503-538-0761
|
|||
|
|
Ozone ][ AE (pw:OZONE)..................503-684-0548
|
|||
|
|
Apple University AE:TAC.................503-838-2924
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
THE KRACKER,THE TRASH CAN MAN...................United Anarchists Guild '86
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|