textfiles/bbs/ih-derf.txt

 Well,  after finally reading all the textfiles and  buffers  and 
such on DERF, with "Tcrow" and Hairy, I think it has finally come 
to  time for me to add my two cents, but then, why throw in  only 
two cents when you can toss in a whole quarter?

 By  the  way, my freestyle writing style has been  adapted  from 
Hairy  Leech and our endless babbles on, yes, the one  and  only, 
Angel's  Lair.  So if this file sounds  anything  like  something 
Hairy might have wrote, well, now you know why...

 Okay, let's start with me, and oh sure, its a very common  story 
to  tell. Surely I got interested in computers like the  rest  of 
you  by watching shows such as "Whiz Kids" and all  the  friendly 
garble...  Well, sd to say, it goes back for me as far as  fourth 
grade...  see, my elemtary school got in these cool-o top of  the 
line  Commodore 64's (which were all networked to ONE  1541  disk 
drive,  if you could imagine that... ) And I was amoung  the  few 
honors students in the school to have regular access to them.  My 
innate  creative  abilities which I now apply  to  prose  writing 
allowed  me  to  take  a novel approach  to  programming,  and  I 
addapted  to it rather quickly. ( IronHorse's views on  DERF,  or 
the origin of IronHorse himself, you decide. ) I got so "computer 
knowledgeable in the school that when the principal had a problem 
running  the schools computer, he call ME down. ( I must  mention 
here that my rep there was greatly exaggerated, for once I got to 
the  principals computer, I had no idea what was going on...  but 
if  I only knew then what I do know now... ) Anyway, so that  was 
my  first taste of the computers, I'm sure you all  have  similar 
stories  to tell. Then, oh wonder of wonders, my father bought  a 
cool-o TRS-80 MC-10 ( I still have it, I think I use it as a book 
end  or something... ) This computer was lame, but it  was  MINE. 
and so I did many things with it and soon I was taking it  beyond 
where it was designed to go. ( Any good BASIC programmer could do 
things  like  that in those days... ) And I was moving  on,  into 
middle  school and then high school... when I got a job.  Let  me 
interrupt  here to say I live in a very  unsociable  neighborhood 
and before I got a job and had money to actually go places, I was 
a stereo-typical geek you could get. I played with my computer, I 
went to school, I hung out with my, what, 3 friends. So, with the 
job  I spoke of brought money, at about the same time I also  met 
what  was soon to be my five best friends. I tried of  course  to 
assimilate those old three to the new five and only one survived, 
but  change  brings change. What bearing does  this  have?  Well, 
you'll  see...  Anyway, like I was saying, I got a job, and so  I 
had  money, and for $300 dollars used I bought what I was  always 
longing  for,  a Commodore 64, 1541, and this  weird  little  box 
called a modem ( I think that is the matching book end to the MC-
10... ) Well, at this time I was also subscribed thanks to a gift 
from  my sister, to this k-rad computer magazine, K-Power.  Well, 
in it I finally found a number to call in north Jersey. I  called 
with  that  nifty  modem thing, and the  number  replied  with  a 
CONNECT  300  (  yes, 300, I had a 300  baud  modem...   remember 
those? ) The board, I believe, was the Iron Cross ( it's still up 
today  in fact ). The usual new caller log on spiff went  by  and 
then  it asked for a "handle".. A what? I knew not what  to  use, 
then I realized my favorite tv show at that time was "War Of  The 
Worlds"  and  a way cool character on there was  Lt.  Crnl.  Paul 
Ironhorse...  and, alas, IronHorse was born. ( I never  knew  til 
many  years  later that the computer hack on the show  was  named
NORTON,  and now that name is all to familiar, isn't it? )  Well,
obviously Iron Cross ( and the soon many local to it boards I was 
calling ) was long distance, but I didn't care, I had a job,  and 
mom and dad paid the phone bill yet anyway... Ah, and we roll on, 
see, that was not the greatest of my folly... somewhere along the 
line Compuserve was mentioned to me, and I just had to have it... 
of course, it ran into a whole lot of money and I dropped it,  no 
sooner to join GEnie.. which also ran into a lot of money, and  I 
dropped  that... but all the while I was still faithful  to  Iron 
Cross...  then, one day, while reading the back pages of  K-Power 
(ooh  what a cool magazine <g> ) I saw an ad, "DMBBS  new  owner, 
blah,  blah, blah, modem line (908) 341-0945."  908?!?!  341?!?!? 
Well  son  of  a  biscuit! Thats local to me!  From  what  I  was 
thinking in those days, I was the only person on the Jersey shore 
with  a  computer  (  IBM and Commie  alike...  )  Ahh,  a  local 
number... so I called it... and poof, IronHorse the local  legend 
was  born... I babbled on their that I only called LD boards  and 
someone  gave  me  the number of many other (oh  my  god!)  local 
boards  that I could call. Wow oh wow oh wow. One of them (  drum 
roll please ) was of course, Angel's Lair. Well, I got on  there, 
and  like so many of the previous TANJ files will suggest,  Angel 
was  flirting with me ( by this time I might add, those group  of 
friends  were forming still, but we weren't quite our own  little 
clique   yet...  )  And  begin  a  lamer,  I  found  this   quite 
interesting...  of course, the playing rolled into chat and  such 
and  at this time I began calling another local  BBS...  November 
Emergency.  ( Remember that all? Commie BBS? Now one of the  TANJ 
lines  I think? ) Anyway, the usual, to use an Angel  Baby  quote 
"lowlifes"  were  there, talking about  the  Sunday  role-playing 
games and the drugs and such, all of which (at least the drugs) I 
was not interested. Well, I got to talking to NeoPlasm and  ended 
up  doing as much as drawing c/g ( you know, Commodore  ansi-like 
screens ) for his BBS... and, 'gan to hear about AB. ( Now, lucky 
for  me  I  guess, this was after the first talhell  shit.  )  He 
hinted things were perhaps not as good as they seem, and at least 
me being a little wry at the time, I was able to tell AB had Kaos 
Kidd as boy friend at least... which, in chat, she down played... 
they  weren't getting along or some such crap. Well, I'm not  the 
type to blatantly steal another man's g/f, so I just acknowledged 
her  and  moved on. Well, come that ceremonious  boycott  of  the 
boards,  and I chose to stay middle ground and call both...  And, 
by  this time my friends were starting to get together  and  role 
play of our own accord, so I had other things as well to take  up 
my  time.  Well, hell-fire and brimstone came down  and  all  the 
stuff spoke of in the other files happend to their finales, and I 
was  pretty much a loyal Angel's Lair supporter. ( Note, by  this 
time I had yet to actually meet her. ) I was a Commodore user,  I 
had  no  access to the IBM bbs world ( in those days,  and  quite 
still many an IBM bbs won't format for shit on a C-64 ) And  then 
of  course, came my first DERF meeting ( 2 1/2 I think? I do  not 
know, though when I compare it to the past files, I think maybe I 
WAS there for some of this big sha-bang. ) Anyway, I went,  there 
was  me, Lone Wolf, (Commie user, cool guy... I  think  anyway..) 
and  a  whole bunch of other folk I can't remember. Well,  I  met 
Angel  (  wow,  talk about shattered images! ) and  Derf,  who  I 
thought was rather odd, but okay... Ah, but these were definitely 
NOT my kind of folk. ( aside in a psychiatrists voice: now we see 
the  origin of IronHorse's BBS meet phobia... <g> ) Okay,  on  we 
go,  more into the inter-tangled web I wove. At the  next  hyper-
lame meet they had, which was on Halloween, I met a girl, who was
going out with another derf we locals all know and love, sysop of 
the Commie board The Final Frontier... Well, he was treating  her 
rather  shitty that night, and it ended up that me and  she  were 
together...  far be it from me to know that she was, for lack  of 
any  clearer terms, well, a slut. Well, we didn't last  all  that 
long... she wanted to date me, I know she did, because I  thought 
more  of her then just a slut, but she was a slut at  heart,  and 
since  we  were not doing anything along those  lines,  it  ended 
rather  abruptly. Well, anyways during the time that me  and  she 
were,  Admiral  Kirk  ( sysop of FF )  understandably  hated  me. 
(Well, for that, and his little sister, which is not what  you're 
thinkin<EFBFBD>  an<61> ma<6D> becom<6F> <20> textfil<69> o<> itsel<65> someda<64> soon..<2E>  <20> 
And, beyond my knowledge, KK, AB, and AK were all speaking of me, 
how  fond AB and KK were I do not know, but their opinions of  me 
certainly  lowered  as  AK entered the picture...  But  that  all 
really  doesn't matter, you all are going to love  this...  while 
driving KK to a party of Final Frontier ( to wit I was going only 
because  the  girl  was going to be there  )  KK  actually  tried 
explaining to me the origins behind the derflink itself! Okay,  I 
suppose  this will be the latest description of it, so I'll  tell 
you  what he said, he said via a commodore interface called a  g-
wiz  I  think  and a few IBM parts he would be able  to  make  an 
adapter for the Commodore 128 so that it could support 8 lines. I 
listened,  but was lost ( not only because it was beyond me,  but 
it  was  also  in  derf-speak ), but I knew  it  was  a  load,  a 
commodore  would  most  likely explode if it had  8  phone  lines 
coming into it, and having had 3 years of high school electronics 
by  this time, I knew he was shoveling it. But, so be it.  (  And 
now  I  hear  that is was supposed to be a  CMD  from  his  first 
ramblings? Where is this mans sense of patronage? <g> ) 
 Well  then of course, as all the locals know, all  hell  finally 
broke loose in the BBS world and Cyberchat was born. This  forced 
me to get a modem for that IBM, and then I started calling  those 
IBM  boards  and I finally read a text file, and  now  look,  I'm 
writing one...
 Oh,  and one other thing to help you locals love AB and KK  some 
more...  back  in August of '92 I was going out with one  of  the 
girls from the CyberChat area, and I happened to cross paths with 
KK  and AB while I was with her because I was selling some of  my 
old  Commodore  stuff to them because I was going  to  college... 
well  after  I  got back I was talking to an old  friend  (  that 
little  sister I was telling you about... ) and she said that  AB 
said I was going out with some "fat, ugly chick." Well, yeah, I'm 
really a fan of AB's now... (talk about hypocritical!). I have to 
say  that  AB  was full of it, the girl I went out  with,  in  my 
opinion  was  not  a "fat, ugly chick," but that  goes  with  out 
saying,  for no one would go out with someone they  considered  a 
"fat,  ugly chick." Ahh, but thats my views, life, the  universe, 
and everything... I do believe my next text shall be of the  more 
fictional nature... 'til then,
               To thine own self be true...