94 lines
5.0 KiB
Plaintext
94 lines
5.0 KiB
Plaintext
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Russians catch up in Journalism
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by Jim Wright for the Dallas Morning News
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of October 15, 1989
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That old-time secular religion, Marxism, seems to be going out of
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style everywhere except faculty lounges of American colleges. A major
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result of this rightist deviationism is that the Russians are at last
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getting to enjoy some of the blessings of a free press. Such as, for
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instance, the recent news stories about aliens and monsters from outer
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space landing in Voronezh.
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It is without any doubt a refreshing change for those folks, who have
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more than enough trouble during this century from monsters grown
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locally.
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Presumably, it is Halloween season in Russia, too, and there could
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hardly be a more appropriate way to celebrate it in the age of
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Glasnost than with an intergalactic trick-or-treat right there in
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person (or whatever) on Soviet soil.
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What's more, there is always a chance that tourism will benefit from
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the new Soviet policy of letting it all hang out, so far as creature
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sightings are concerned. There are large numbers of people in every
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land who badly waant to believe in this sort of thing, as the American
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echoes of the latest space-beachhead landing indicate. People who
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enjoy thinking about little green beings who fly around in glowing
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disks probably could be talked into spending their vacations in
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Voronezh. And Mother Russia can use the hard currency.
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That being so, it hardly matters that the eyewitnesses turn out to be
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children. No doubt the Russians have noticed that Scotland, another
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country that can use hard currency (or soft or in-between), has done
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very well with the Loch Ness monster. And Nessie usually is sighted
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from the window of one of the nearby public houses. Those who want to
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believe will believe.
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Personally, as one of the global journalism fraternity, I am proud to
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see that my brothers and sisters at Tass, the Soviet news service,
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have taken a throroughly professional attitude toward all the hoots
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and jeers at their dispateches about the latest historic event. Not
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only are they standing by the story, but they have found a policeman,
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Lt. Sergei A. Matveyev, to corroborate the kids' story.
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This is in keeping with standard operating procedures used in the free
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press everywhere. The lieutenant said he was a little bit wary of the
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story himself when he first got word of the landing. And no, he
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didn't get there in time to see the actual aliens themselves, but, by
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Trotsky, he did see their vehicle and "it was certainly a body flying
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in the sky."
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Police officers do have a reputation for being skeptical about
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citizens who tell stories that depend upon extraterrestrial
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intervention to explain their - the citizens' - behavior. That may be
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why the lawmen are so popular as corroborating witnesses for UFO
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journalism. Cops have excellent credibility, spacewise.
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I'll bet Lt. Matveyev is really sorry he missed seeing the actual
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space critters themselves; I know I am.
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According to the kids, the UFO was a glowing ball "of deep red."
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Naturally, it disgorged a nine-foot, metallic-looking "humanoid," who
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checked out the scene, then went back to get a friend and their robot.
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Whereupon all three promenaded in the park, did some high-tech tricks,
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reboarded and left.
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I think, though, before I book seats on the next Voronezh UFO Site
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All-in-One-Tour, I will have to have some additional information.
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Such as, for instance, how late the three kids were for supper at the
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moment they spotted the red space ship arriving and were unavoidably
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detained by the nine-foot humanoid.
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Chamber of Commerce mad at me. But until I get more evidence, I
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intend to be guided by the logic of a salty Pfc. I once knew. Our
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outfit, rummaging through the Mojave desert in a truck convoy, passed
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a luxurious compound, built around a strange, truncated pyramid of
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sand. On being told that this was s settlement of wealthy UFO
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worshipers and that the pyramid was designed as the landing pad for
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the creatures' ship, the Pfc. just snorted.
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"Anything smart enough to build a spaceship," he observed, "is too
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smart to pitch a liberty in this dump."
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In spite of the Soviets' amazingly rapid progress in gee-whiz
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communications, I feel that America's lead in this area is safe, at
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least for now. Only yesterday, as I waited to check out at the
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supermarket, the headline story in one of our state-of-the-art
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publications informed me that:
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"MAN EXPLODES AFTER EATING FIVE PIZZAS!"
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I'd like to see those Russkies top that, if they can.
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