textfiles/bbs/KEELYNET/HUMOR/darkbulb.asc

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                                    DarkBulb
                              by James L. DeLucas

The darkbulb is an electronic device that produces darkness.  It is similar in
appearance to the ordinary lightbulb.  Whereas the lightbulb is considerd an
energy SOURCE, the darkbulb could be considered an energy SINK.

The darkbulb looks like the ordinary lightbulb.  It is much heavier, a typical
60 watt bulb weighing about two pounds.  The darkbulb's outer shell is made of
a special metallic material called HELIOTEX.

Heliotex was made SPECIALLY for the bulb, and it is NECESSARY for the bulb's
operation.  The bulb screws into an ordinary light socket and can be run on
house current.  The bulbs are normally coated black for easy identification.
Darkbulbs come in power sizes similar to the lightbulb.  Two and three-way
bulbs and special purpose bulbs are also available.

THE HAY FIELD

Unlike the simple heating filament of the lightbulb, the inner contents of the
darkbulb are complicated and electronic.  The heart of this device is the
CRYSTALKANOOGIN valve.  The crystalkanoogin valve was designed by Edison A.
Thomas, an engineer at General Electric.  (See "An Inexpensive Dissipator of
Radiant Energy," ELECTRONICS, Vol. 42, No. 7 pp. 59-67, July 1970.)

The valve is made up of a series of miniature electronic components.  The sole
purpose of the valve is the production of the Hay Field.  The Hay Reverse
Electromagnetic Field, or Hay (R.E.F.), was theoretically proven to exist by
R.E.F. Hay at MIT in late 1969.

This invisible field is able to dissipate normal electromagnetic energy, such
as light, by converting this energy into the reverse electromagnetic energy of
the Hay Field.  This energy conversion process is the means by which the Hay
Field propagates through the air.  In a vacuum the Hay Field would LOSE ENERGY
to the surrounding medium and it would soon disappear.

Thus, the crystalkanoogin valve must continuously produce the Hay Field.  Also,
the Hay Field will not propagate unless the surrounding medium contains
electromagnetic energy, since the Hay Field USES THIS ENERGY to SUSTAIN itself.

The Hay Field is analogous to a vacuum cleaner that sucks electromagnetic
energy from the air.  Electromagnetic energy such as light can be thought of as
being ABSORBED by the darkbulb and then CONVERTED into the Hay Field.  The
recycling of the trapped light energy not only solves the energy dissipation
problem but also puts this energy to useful work.

The crystalkanoogin valve sets up the Hay Field ON THE INSIDE SURFACE of the
heliotex shell.  The properties of the heliotex material cause it to radiate
the Hay Field into the surrounding space, much like a lightbulb would radiate
light energy from the heating filament.  The heliotex shell thus acts as a
RADIATING ANTENNA for the Hay Field.

The type of radiation absorbed by the bulb is dependent on the IMPURITIES
present in the heliotex shell.  The impurities can be controlled during the
making of the heliotex.  Thus, special purpose bulbs that absorb ONLY red
light, or a bulb that absorbs ONLY cosmic rays.

During operation, the surface of the bulb will actually BECOME COOL due to
dissipaton of heat from the heliotex material.  The darkbulb "sucks" light
energy from the air, but the bulb is NOT a perfect discriminator, and very
small amounts of other forms of energy in the vicinity of the bulb will also be
dissipated.  The bulb will become cold because of a loss of heat energy to the
field.

The ordinary darkbulb is one that will absorb light.  The bulb will dissipate
light, that is, PRODUCE DARKNESS in as large an area and to as comparable a
degree as a lightbulb of the same wattage will produce light.

THE DARK FANTASTIC

The ordinary darkbulb has many uses.  A flip of the switch makes it possible to
sleep in the daytime without the use of eyepatches.  Photographic enthusiasts
no longer need to spend money "lightproofing" a darkroom.  Just screw a
darkbulb into a socket and any room becomes AN INSTANT DARKROOM.  Eye doctors
have found darkbulbs particularly useful for conducting eye examinations.
There are applications of the bulb in the scientific fields, where many
experiments require the absence of surrounding radiant energy.  The darkbulb
also seems to be popular at parties.

Special purpose darkbulbs are finding wider applications.  The special purpose
radio wave darkbulb will ABSORB RADIO WAVES from the surrounding area.  One
application of this bulb is in the scientific field where certain experiments
require shielding from radio waves.  The cosmic and X-ray darkbulbs ABSORB
cosmic energy and X-rays from the air.  These potentially hazardous forms of
energy can now be snatched from the air before they reach the vulnerable human
being.

As scientific technology advances, the special purpose infrared darkbulb will
eventually be produced.  Such a bulb would absorb infrared (heat) energy.  The
invention of this type of darkbulb would have a profound effect on modern
society.

Refrigerators would no longer need a complex mechanical cooling system -- just
an infrared darkbulb inside.  Sunbathers in the vicinity of an infrared
darkbulb could get a tan without worrying about the harmful rays that cause
sunburn.  Air cooling could be accomplished with a darkbulb.  Unfortunately,
technology has not found a way to prevent the heliotex shell from becoming
frozen solid during the bulb's operation.  In the frozen condition, the
heliotex shell fails to maintain the Hay Field.

The darkbulb can be found in any store that carries lightbulbs.  The cost of
this modern advance in technology has been considerably reduced, although it is
still much more expensive than the lightbulb.  However, the darkbulb is not
beyond the reach of the average-income American family.  Indeed, they are
becoming as common as the home radio.

                             (from the best of JIR)
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