199 lines
8.1 KiB
Plaintext
199 lines
8.1 KiB
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(word processor parameters LM=8, RM=78, TM=2, BM=2)
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Taken from KeelyNet BBS (214) 324-3501
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Sponsored by Vangard Sciences
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PO BOX 1031
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Mesquite, TX 75150
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August 24, 1990
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courtesy of the InterOcitor at 214 401-1878
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Construction project, Atomic Bomb
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The following paper is taken from The Journal of
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Irreproducible Results, Volume 25/Number 4/1979. P.O. Box 234
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Chicago Heights, Illinois 60411 Subscription's 1 year for $3.70
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1. INTRODUCTION
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Worldwide controversy has been generated recently from
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several court decisions in the United States which have
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restricted popular magazines from printing articles which
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describe how to make an atomic bomb. The reason usually given by
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the courts is that national security would be compromised if such
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information were generally available. But, since it is commonly
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known that all of the information is publicly available in most
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major metropolitan libraries, obviously the court's officially
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stated position is covering up a more important factor; namely,
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that such atomic devices would prove too difficult for the
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average citizen to construct. The United States courts cannot
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afford to insult the vast majorities by insinuating that they do
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not have the intelligence of a cabbage, and thus the "official"
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press releases claim national security as a blanket restriction.
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The rumors that have unfortunately occurred as a result of
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widespread misinformation can (and must) be cleared up now, for
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the construction project this month is the construction of a
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thermonuclear device, which will hopefully clear up any
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misconceptions you might have about such a project. We will see
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how easy it is to make a device of your very own in ten easy
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steps, to have and hold as you see fit, without annoying
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interference from the government or the courts.
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The project will cost between $5,000 and $30,000 dollars,
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depending on how fancy you want the final product to be. Since
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last week's column, "Let's Make a Time Machine", was received so
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well in the new step-by-step format, this month's column will
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follow the same format.
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2. CONSTRUCTION METHOD
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1. First, obtain about 50 pounds (110 kg) of weapons grade
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Plutonium at your local supplier (see NOTE 1). A nuclear power
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plant is not recommended, as large quantities of missing
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Plutonium tends to make plant engineers unhappy. We suggest that
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you contact your local terrorist organization, or perhaps the
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Junior Achievement in your neighborhood.
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2. Please remember that Plutonium, especially pure, refined
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Plutonium, is somewhat dangerous. Wash your hands with soap and
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Page 1
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warm water after handling the material, and don't allow your
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children or pets to play in it or eat it. Any left over
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Plutonium dust is excellent as an insect repellant. You may wish
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to keep the substance in a lead box if you can find one in your
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local junk yard, but an old coffee can will do nicely.
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3. Fashion together a metal enclosure to house the device. Most
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common varieties of sheet metal can be bent to disguise this
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enclosure as, for example, a briefcase, a lunch pail, or a Buick.
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Do not use tinfoil.
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4. Arrange the Plutonium into two hemispheral shapes, separated
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by about 4 cm. Use rubber cement to hold the Plutonium dust
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together.
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5. Now get about 100 pounds (220 kg) of trinitrotoluene (TNT).
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Gelignite is much better, but messier to work with. Your helpful
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hardware man will be happy to provide you with this item.
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6. Pack the TNT around the hemisphere arrangement constructed in
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step 4. If you cannot find Gelignite, fell free to use TNT
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packed in with Playdo or any modeling clay. Colored clay is
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acceptable, but there is no need to get fancy at this point.
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7. Enclose the structure from step 6 into the enclosure made in
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step 3. Use a strong glue such as "Crazy Glue" to bind the
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hemisphere arrangement against the enclosure to prevent
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accidental detonation which might result from vibration or
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mishandling.
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8. To detonate the device, obtain a radio controlled (RC) servo
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mechanism, as found in RC model airplanes and cars. With a
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modicum of effort, a remote plunger can be made that will strike
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a detonator cap to effect a small explosion. These detonatior
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caps can be found in the electrical supply section of your local
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supermarket. We recommend the "Blast-O-Mactic" brand because
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they are no deposit-no return.
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9. Now hide the completed device from the neighbors and
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children. The garage is not recommended because of high humidity
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and the extreme range of temperatures experienced there. Nuclear
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devices have been known to spontaneously detonate in these
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unstable conditions. The hall closet or under the kitchen sink
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will be perfectly suitable.
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10. Now you are the proud owner of a working thermonuclear
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device! It is a great ice-breaker at parties, and in a pinch,
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can be used for national defense.
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3. THEORY OF OPERATION
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The device basically works when the detonated TNT compresses
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the Plutonium into a critical mass. The critical mass then
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produces a nuclear chain recation similar to the domino chain
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reaction (discussed in this column, "Dominos on the March",
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March, 1968). The chain reaction then promptly produces a big
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thermonuclear reaction. And there you have it, a 10 megaton
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explosion!
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Page 2
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4. NEXT MONTH'S COLUMN
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In next month's column, we will learn how to clone your
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neighbor's wife in six easy steps. This project promises to be
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an exciting weekend full of fun and profit. Common kitchen
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utensils will be all you need. See you next month!
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5. NOTES
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1. Plutonium (PU), atomic number 94, is a radioactive metallic
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element formed by the decay of Neptunium and is similar in
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chemical structure to Uranium, Saturium, Jupiternium, and Marisum.
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6. PREVIOUS MONTH'S COLUMNS
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1. Let's Make Test Tube Babies! May, 1979
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2. Let's Make a Solar System! June, 1979
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3. Let's Make a Economic Recession! July, 1
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--------------------------------------------------------------------
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If you have comments or other information relating to such topics as
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this paper covers, please upload to KeelyNet or send to the Vangard
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Sciences address as listed on the first page. Thank you for your
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consideration, interest and support.
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Jerry W. Decker.........Ron Barker...........Chuck Henderson
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Vangard Sciences/KeelyNet
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--------------------------------------------------------------------
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If we can be of service, you may contact
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Jerry at (214) 324-8741 or Ron at (214) 484-3189
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--------------------------------------------------------------------
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Page 3
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