62 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
62 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
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- -
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- THE PYRO-MANIAC'S GUIDE TO FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT -
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- Volume I -
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- -
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- By all good anarchist's best friend, -
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- The Great White -
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- -
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- Courtesy of Cal Songsinger -
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- -
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- Sherwood Forest Dark Castle -
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- 300/1200/10 meg 300/1200/10 meg -
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- (815) 436-5610 (815) 729-0188 -
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-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _-
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Today boys and girls we will tell you all about having fun with a few
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simple items that you can buy easily or may even have in your home.
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Since most of you are simple-minded, uncoordinated morons, I will start
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you
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out slowly and simply (like you).
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Our first project is a sure fire way to be the life of the party. Real
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sure fire. This item is called a "Handy House Warmer." All you need are
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three
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items which can easily be obtained. The first item is a roll of electrical
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tape
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(starts easy). Second, a large can of Sterno, easily bought at any camping or
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hardware store. Third, an M-80 or other similar explosive plaything.
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Step one in the construction of our pyrotecnic wonder is to remove the
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top
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of the sterno and, using an ice pick or other sharp item, punch a hole in the
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top of the can. Step two is placing the M-80 into the sterno gel. Make sure
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it
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is well covered by the gel. Step three is to replace the cap, making sure to
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thread the M-80 fuse through the hole in the cap. After securing the lid
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tightly on the can, you can start the final phase to fun. The last step is
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simply to wind tape tightly around the entire can, making sure to cover it
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completely with at least three layers of tape but not more than six layers.
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Now, as you can tell, when you go to use our incendiary toy to cheaply
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and
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efficiently heat any home in your neighborhood, all you have to do is light
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the
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fuse and run. The other advantages of this are that Sterno sticks to almost
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anything and is very difficult to put out, needing to be completely smothered,
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and that Sterno is highly prone to reignition (very similar to napalm). This
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type of firecracker is handy in small areas such as inside cars, small rooms,
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phone booths, rectums, etc...
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Now, I am not advocating the use of this item for anything but your own
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personal fireworks displays and enjoyment, but where and what you call
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enjoyment
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I won't judge.
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Well, boys and girls, that's all for today. Hope you enjoyed our time
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together and remember my motto: DEATH IS JUST A STATE OF MIND.
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T. T. F. N. from G. W.
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