114 lines
5.2 KiB
Plaintext
114 lines
5.2 KiB
Plaintext
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The Urban Terrorist Presents...
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Avoiding Law Enforcement
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The file is designed to help you deal better with the cops and how to avoid
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getting arrested. This will only discuss breifly how not to get caught in the
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first place (Rule #1- COMMON SENSE!) but will get very detailed on how to avoid
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being arrested.
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Let's begin.
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Like I said earlier, the best way to avoid getting busted in the first place is
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to use COMMON SENSE. If you have no idea what this is, delete his file, sell
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your modem, and start learing to program profficiantly in LOGO.
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Now, if you have common sense, you're already one jump ahead of the cops
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because they have none. Step 2- Learn to walk. If you are moving REAL fast,
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wearing dark clothes and are between the ages of 16-22 and it's night they're
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gonna nab you! They have nothing better to do. They believe that you are a
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bigger problem than Drunk Drivers!
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there are two ways to be inconspicuas:
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#1- Walk mellow. take your time and observe your surroundings. Stop and talk
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to someone one the street, bum a cigerete (even if you don't smoke) ask
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directions, thumb a ride, act harmless. Even if you have just ripped off
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$20,000 don't act like it. keep the breathing under control and be smart. No
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matter the situation, keep a cool head. I'm gonna mention this several time to
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make sure you understand! KEEP A COOL HEAD!
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#2- wear either a full black SWAT outfit or camoflauge or a compbo of the both.
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Move in the swaddows at night when no one is around, as soon as there's a car
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ASSUME that it's a cop! The 1st time you don't think it's a cop it will be!
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Hop fences only when you are sure there are NO dogs, although they can be tamed
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with some RAW meat...
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That covers the general way not to be seen.
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HOW TO DEAL WITH THE COPS WHEN YOU GET CAUGHT
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Let's face it. Everyone get's caught. I've been popped with Possesion of
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Illeagal Fireworks 3 times an gotten of all 3 times! the first time I was
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lighting bottle rockets off the top of a parking Garage over the bus terminals.
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File Krackers, whistling bottle rockets etc...like I said, I got away.
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Rule #1- DON'T RUN! Unless you have done something that they are gonna haul
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your ass in big time for, don't make a break for it. If it's BIG and they
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catch you anyway, the evading arrest charge will be thrown out of court (at
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least in California. Check with your local laws reguarding 'double' jeperdy).
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If the cops screem at you, drop everything, throw your hands on top of your
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head (fingers locked) scream "I'M UNARMED AND AM TURNING MY SELF IN" then walk
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SLOWLY backwards doing everything to the letter that they say.
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Rule #2- Speak with the upmost respect to the cops. Let's face it, they go
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home and beat off after making some kid piss his pants, in fact, do just that-
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PISS YOUR PANTS. Shake, babble, cry. Especially if you are in HS. If you're
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lucky they will feel sorry for you and take you home. When talking to cops,
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act like your in the Army, "Yes SIR." "That's correct SIR." "Sir, my name is
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John Doe SIR". That get off on that too. If they pull the famous "You're
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gonna have a boyfriend in there" just say "Thank you, SIR" with the most
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respectful voice you can dish up without sounding like a smart ass.
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Rule #3- Tell them what they want to know. If they havn't read you your rights
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you can say anything. Once they read you your rights say NOTHING. You are
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going to jail if they do that. Say nothing till you call a lawyer. You don't
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even have to say your name, they have your wallet, they know who you are. But
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if your standing there talking, go ahead and answer their questions.
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Rule #4- Be a good bullshitter! I got out of all of my pridicaments by being
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able to give them a serious line of bullshit that was very believeable. When
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asked about fileworks, I didn't say "Oh ya, my buddy here smuggled'em over 4
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state lines!" I say, "I found'em in my old mans closet." Works nice, sounds
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good too. If all else fails, your old man get's popped for Contributing to the
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deliquincy of a Minor!! Think of the possiblities on that one...
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Rule #5- USE COMMON SENSE! Think about it, the cops hate paper work. They
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have so many forms to fill out when they arrest it's pitiful! They usually
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will nab your goods and tell you to get home! Also, rememebr to play off their
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EGO trip. Sound scared even though your not. Stddering gives you more time to
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think. When approched about something your friend is holding and he's going
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through his pockets, empty out your and show them what you have (gives you time
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to stash or toss stuff!). Be eager to show them your ID, even before they ask
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for it! THINK THINK THINK! You have no better tool than your brain so USE IT!
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Welp, that'll wrap it up for now. Hope this gives you some insight on dealing
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with cops. Oh, in closing, if you have no ID (good if you're doing someting
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vandelistic!) try to have someone ELSE's ID memorised, like the goody goody
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nerd in your 5th period class. Memorize all of his info so that you can roll
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that off to the cops. He'll have a clean record (or at least DID till you got
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done with it!).
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Take care and kill a Faggot for 'ol UT...
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Urban Terrorst, signing off
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