128 lines
6.6 KiB
Plaintext
128 lines
6.6 KiB
Plaintext
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_____________________________________________________
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| SOME SHIT YOU MIGHT WANNA DO ON A BORING NIGHT |
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| BY |
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| COBALT-60 |
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| WRITTEN ON A BORING 07/15/85 |
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| AT 4:00 IN THE MORNING |
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|___________________________________________________|
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Awright, let's see - I and the Airborne Ranger quite often get very bored.
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As I am shure is the case as with most of us when our favorite AE's, BBS's, and
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Catsends are being leeched by the 300 baud plague. So, as I am sitting here
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hoping my mom (We all have one, somewhere) won't come down and tell me to get
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the hell to bed, so I don't sleep till 4:00 pm again..O.K., enough of this,
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let's go with fun things to do:
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1] Mr. Pizza man
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Materials required:
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(1) slingshot or pellet gun
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(2) legs (prefferably ones that move forward and backward quickly)
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(3) Ski masks (Or paper bags w/little holes for the eyes)
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OK, let's see, in my apartment complex there are many interesting targets-
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things such as cats, dogs, windows, joggers, cars playing break-dance music (or
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any car for that matter), and buses. This is what we might do on a some dreamy
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summer night (Or morning at 2:00): first, if there are'nt any good human
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targets walking around for you to pick off from the bushes, what we do is call
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up the good old Domino's pizza, and order a good sized pepperoni, and a couple
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pepsi's (Ever tasted the new coke yet?? don't!). We hide a couple blocks from
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where we told them to deliver it to, and wait beside the road. As Airborne
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looks down the road for the little shitter, I have a road flare handy. As the
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little butwipe cruises down the road, I light the flare, and toss it into the
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road, and make shure my gun is pumped up. He stops at the flare. Then we jump
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out with the guns, and Airborne starts yelling at him in russian, pointing the
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gun at him, and moving the barrell in such a way as to suggest for him to get
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the hell out. I reach inside, grab the pizza box, and the cooler with the
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PEPSI'S (If he's got cokes in it, then Airborne starts yelling in russian, and
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throws them everywhere) . Then, we both vamoose, not forgetting maybe to get
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maybe a couple bucks off of him, and to shoot his car, or him in the leg or
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something. Then use dem legs to run to your house, and eat the pizza, and read
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the next idea for fun.
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2] What's that in the road, george?
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We did this the other night, and it was surprisingly fun. First, we went to
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the 7-11 store, and got a bunch of bottles from near the dumpster. Then we
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went to the garbage room of a nearby condominium, and got two plastic bags full
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of catshit and stuff (I don't know, I would'nt open it), and went to a stretch
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of road (Two lane) that was'nt very busy, and had trees, or bushes as cover.
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First, I went out to the road, and put a bag in each lane, While Airborne put
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all of the bottles about 20 feet ahead of the bags. Usually, the guy'll never
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see the bottles, but this one was SMART. He slammed on the brakes, looked
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around, got out, and threw all the bottles to the side of the road, got back in
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his car, and slammd on the gas, content that he had outsmarted some teenager.
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then, just as he got some speed, he hit the bags! the catshit and litter flew
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for 10 feet behind him, he slid, did a 360, and stopped for about 5 minutes (We
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thought he had died of a heart attack), and moved on again with a half
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destroyed bag of litter on his hood, and shit everywhere. This time, though,
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very slowly.
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3] the overlook
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materials required:
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(1) good throwing arm
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(2) eyes
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okay, we have a big cliff overlooking a two lane road near my home, and it's
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about 100 feet from the road (Downhill), and there's shitloads of dirt clods
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laying around. It's pretty damn fun to lob these at passing motorists. You
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can throw anything you want at em, shoot em, or whatever. (we prefer rockets
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from a shoulder launcher - if you wanna learn how to make really hot rockets
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and launchers, keep your eyes open on all fine participating AE's).
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4] kill winos
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materials required:
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(1) a bottle of Zippo lighter fluid (or any inferior brand)
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(2) matches
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There is a big mall in my town (Santa cruz, ca) that all of the trolls and
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winos sleep on at night, and it's great fun to do come up to em quietly, spray
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a little fluid on em, and say really psychoitically "Wino-Wino-Oh WIno, Wake
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up, wino, getting a little warm, wino?? A little warm???" If you want to, you
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can throw the match on them, and watch them run around like richard pryor (This
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is too cruel for me, I am just quoting this from my stepbrother a long time
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ago). You oughta keep winos around, as they'll buy you anything for a little
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bit of money (Hell, I got porno movies, guns, and beer that way) so support
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your down and outers!! (This of course does- nt apply when the little scumball
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runs off with your money!).
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I'm sick of this, so I'll just conclude with a list of shit to do:
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waterbalooning, jumping around on cars and roofs, pissing in convertibles,
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egging houses, toilet papering houses (or both), shooting dogs that bark all
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the time, shooting out windows, or throwing bricks through them, asking girls
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how much they are for a half hour, getting a mouth full of ketchup & corn, and
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walking into 7-11 or any allnight store, and "puking" on the floor, and walk
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out again, flattening cars tires, putting a sheet on a fishing line, and tie it
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to a pole, running it accross a street, hold the other ends in the bushes, and
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pull it up when a car comes by, the old flaming shit in a bag trick, mugging
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break dancers and punks for money, going through garbage bins for credit card
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slips, shooting joggers, calling a cop, and tell him there's something going on
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at a house that he would have to walk a while to get to, and while he's walking
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toward the house, sneak up and steal everything out of his car you can
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(shotguns, handcuffs, radios, etc, and paint "Die Honkey" on the hood, and run,
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make a big sign with the print shop that says "gay nazi meeting here" and put
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it on your "friends" house, have a good old cross burning in front of a blacck
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person's house, caling a porno place in new york, recording it, and going
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around with it going full blast from a ghetto blaster in a rich neighberhood
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(at night for all of this, of course).
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Well, I really oughta get some sleep, so have fun with this, and remember
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that Willy peter will make you a believer.
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______
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/ \
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| O B A L T - 6 0
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\______/
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CALL METALLAND I: 503-538-0761
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LOOK FOR THE SOUTHERN CROSS 10 MEG 1200B ONLY AE/BBS SOON!!!!
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Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
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