89 lines
4.6 KiB
Plaintext
89 lines
4.6 KiB
Plaintext
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Anarchy Inc. ...presents...
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<[+=------------------------------=+]>
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! -=] Crime on the Job [=- !
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! Written by: The Ascii Assassin !
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<[+=------------------------------=+]>
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[Or: How to Live off of $3.00 an Hour]
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______________________________________________________________________________
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-=]> Foreword/Disclaimer: <[=-
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This file is intended to teach you how to commit illegalities on the job with
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a minimal risk of getting caught. Please note that I cannot take responsibility
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for anybody's actions. If you are too inmature to allow this to sink into your
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head, than don't bother.
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-=]> Introduction: <[=-
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First off, you need a job. Probably the best job for the beginner is
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janitorial-type activities. It's best if you're not the only one. Especially
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when you work in a big office building (which is, coincidentally, where most of
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the goodies can be found). By stealing, filching, or otherwise seperating goods
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from their previous owners, you can use the money you save by not having to by
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them for other things. Like the phone bill you must be running up while reading
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this file.
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-=]> Getting to it: <[=-
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First, you have to find a place that's offering janitorial jobs. Look in the
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want ads or something (if you can't read..you've got a problem already) You
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should be able to get the job on your own. Okay. So you've got the job. And
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what do they want you to do? Take out the trash? It may be a thankless job
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around the house, but there are rewards for doing this job. When you empty
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trash cans from offices, you can, if you wish, look inside them. But usually
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you'll find only scrap paper, diet cola bottles, and other such mundane items a
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secretary can't do without. If you're looking for extra office supplies, from
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diskette labels to postage stamps, they can usually be had. Just look around.
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Be sure that you wear a big jacket or clothing with a lot of pockets if you like
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petty thievery. If you want to steal things that are of unusual shapes, like
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diskettes, get a newspaper and fold it up. The disk- ette(s) inside. the
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perfect way to smuggle out flat goods that you can't fold or fit in your
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pocket/jacket. So you see a jar of jelly beans or candy on the desk? Help
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yourself. After all, it's not pleasant to work on an empty stomach.
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When you take the trash out to the dumpster(s) outside, the REAL fun begins.
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There are goodies to be found. If you look carefully. If you drive, you should
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park your car near the dumpster. So every time you take trash out to the
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dumpster. Relieve them of some of the more valuable stuff and stuff it in your
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car. If you don't drive, bring a duffel bag or something like that, if your job
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is after-school, bring some books to disguise things a bit.
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Sometimes, you may have to vacuum offices. Make sure you start with an empty
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bag. While you go through the rooms, and you spot something you like, that can
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take a little dirt, grab it and wrap it up in some newspaper or what- ever, and
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stuff it in the vacuum cleaner bag. When you're finished, pretend you're tikhng
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it back to the dumpster (again?). Take your prizes out and dump the bag, why
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would you keep it anyway?
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Major theft, stealing large items, is in a whole different league. But, if
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you think you've got what it takes..go ahead. The best think you can do on the
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job is to make it easy for you to get in and out. Before you leave, turn off
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the alarm, leave a window unlocked, whatever..and come back later at night.
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There are other text-files that go into more detail about break-in's. They are
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definitely on the suggested reading list.
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-=]> Conclusion: <[=-
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Janitorial crime may not be very "glorious", but you can acquire many neat
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and/or useful things at a minimal risk, while getting payed about three dollars
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an hour at the same time. Just don't take any unneccesary risks. If you take a
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big gamble and win, good for you. If you don't..well you DID work in a big
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office building, saw some good-looking secretaries, etc.. This file was created
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to give you a few ideas just to get started. The best criminals are creative.
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Have fun.
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______________________________________________________________________________
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Call these --------------
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Anarchy Inc.
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-------------- boards:
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The Assassin's Guild AE...415-592-9753 - pw=RUSH - 300 Baud.
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Ghost in the Machine AE...408-738-1685 - no pass - 300/1200 Baud *
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Dark Side of the Moon.....408-245-SPAM - no pass - 300/1200 Baud *
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* = Hit a few CR's upon connect, to determine baud rate.
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