126 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
126 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
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| Silent Pholks International Prezent |
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| ... Anarchy In The Snow ... |
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| Written By: The Ninja |
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| Exclusively For: |
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| The Restaurant at the End of the Universe |
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| Rocky Hill, New Jersey 609-921-1994 |
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| 10 Megs BBS/AE/Cat-Fur |
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|______________________________________________________|
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... Anarchy In The Snow ...
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Winter Time! Sleigh bells, Santa Claus, Egg Nog, and blood. What a
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combination. Sounds fun right? I know it does. What else is there better to
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do in Winter time than to throw an iceball full of "Fun Snaps" at the Salvation
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Army Santa on your corner? In this file I will share with you some of the more
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enjoyable, if not sadistic things to do in the snow.
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Everyone knows how much fun it is to throw a snowball at a car when it drives
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by. Well next time try it with a big rock packed hard in the center of the
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snowball. Boy will the driver get a surprise when the snowball goes right
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through his window!
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This one takes a little time to do. The invention is called a "Funnelator"
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and was inveted by my brother and a few drunken friends one summer. It was
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originally designed for long distance water baloon shooting, but since then i
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have found that it works for iceballs just as well.
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Here's what you need:
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1> a good sized funnel
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2> about 15 feet of surgical tubing
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3> 1 foot of 2 cm diameter rope
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4> a washer
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Construction Directions:
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1> Take the funnel and poke 4 holes in it with a screwdriver. The holes
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should be about 2 inches apart. 2 on each side of funnel.
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2> Cut the surgical tubing into 2 large equal sized pieces. Place one end of
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each end into the holes. It should look like a sort of slingshot by now.
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3> Tie the ends of the surgical tubing together <on each side> in GOOD TIGHT
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knots.
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4> Take the rope and place the ends the ends through the washer and tie a
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knot. Pull the other end through the narrow end of the funnel. This is your
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HANDEL for pulling the funnelator back.
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How To Use a Funnelator:
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To use a funnelator to its fullest you should get about 5 people. Only 3 are
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needed at a time but you can get tired after awhile.
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Set up the funnelator like a slingshot. Two people are the "posts" and the
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third pulls back the funnel using one hand over the funnel and the other
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pulling the rope.
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For best results, pull back AS FAR AS POSSIBLE <or until your friends arms
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break>. Make sure your friends are not standing that close together <or you
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will have one or two less friends>.
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Aiming is the fun part. I'm sure you all can figure that out.
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Official Funnelator Records:
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3 broken ribs on a kid on the beach with a waterbaloon.
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1 LARGE dent in a car from waterbaloon.
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Many cc's of blood lost from various faces from iceballs.
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NUMEROUS windows broken from both ice and waterballoons.
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Happy Funnelating!!
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Other fun things to do in the snow are:
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Pouring hot water on the snow in the street so it turns to ice faster and all the cars go flying around the corner.
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Make BIG piles of snow near the curb and stuff an old sweatshirt sleeve with
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newspaper to make it look like there is an arm in it. Put a glove on the end
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of the arm securely. Now take a bottle of ketchup and empty it contents on the
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snow pile. Place the arm on top of the ketchup and cover the arm and the
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kethup with snow, but keep them relaively near to the surface. Make the snow
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pile look loike a kind of snow fort. Wait for the snowplow to come by and
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start playing in the fort. When it gets close enough get out of the way but
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start screaming. When the driver looks down and sees this bloody arm come out
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of the snow he'll probably have a coronary.
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One last thing that is VERY FUNNY to see is this:
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This is to be done to someone you have an EXTREME dislike for. Wait until
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they put on their snow tires. Then the first night it snows go to thier car
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with a bag of wet sand and lots of Krazy Glue. Pack the snow into the grooves
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of the tire and then Krazy Glue a layer over the grooves.
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Just wait till they pull out in the morning on an ICY road. Very Funny!
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I hope that you all have fun trying these ideas and let me know what you
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think of them.
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-->* DISCLAIMER *<--
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The author of this Text-File claims absolutley NO <zero, zilch, none, nada>
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responsibility for accidents incurred or damages caused by the above
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presentations.
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This has been a Silent Pholks Presentation
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Silently yours,
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The Ninja
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Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
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