85 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
85 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
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| Silent Pholks International |
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| a n d |
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| Anarchy Unlimited |
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| in conjunction with |
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| Southeastern Pirates Independance |
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| P R E S E N T |
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| "Have you kicked an Amish today" |
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| Written By: The Ninja |
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In case you are unfarmiliar with the famed AMISH people, I will give you a
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brief background on them.
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The Amish people are a bunch of extremely backward-ass, fucked up people who
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have colonized a piece of Pennsylvania for themselves. They are screwed up.
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They do not go to school. Sound good? No, instead they stay home and clean
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thier horses.
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Did I mention that they do not use cars or almost any electricity for that
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matter. They ride around the main high- ways waiting to get picked off by an 18
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wheeler or something.
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Which brings us to fun thing #1.
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This one will cost you some serious $$ so unless you are really gung-ho and/or
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a millionaire, I would stay away from this one. What you need is a big car, or
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better yet, a pickup truck.
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The Amish feel extremely safe for some odd reason when they horse and buggy
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around the Pennsylvania mainways. Boy, aren't they silly. Set your car to stun
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and accelerate. Aim right for the horse and ram the fucker as hard as you can.
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The car will probably be totaled, but that is no big deal. Just pull out your
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trusty .22 and blow the scattering Amish away. What's even better is that
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people will get out of thier cars and applaud you. That's right - NO ONE likes
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the Amish.
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Amish people are often found hanging around thier house, since they have no
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other place to go. This makes them very easy targets for things such as
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multiple pipe bomb attacks, funnelating, or just all out attack! If you are a
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real sick pig, find as much TNT as you can and shove it in thier outhouse.
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Remember, they ain't got no electricity. Silly Amish. Boy will it really be a
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MEAN shit this time huh?
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You can also feed drugged food to thier horses. Without them, they are lost.
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Seems like no one likes the Amish at all not even the dreaded Mormons. We all
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know what a nuisance they can be. If you should happen to kill an Amish and a
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Mormon in the same shot, you would be a national hero.
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Here: let's make a scoring system:
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-----------------------------------
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Female adult Amish ............. 10 pts.
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Male adult Amish ............... 15 pts.
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Female child Amish ............. 20 pts.
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Male child Amish ............... 25 pts.
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Amish Horse .................... 35 pts.
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Amish buggy .................... 40 pts.
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Horse and Buggy ................ 80 pts.
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Pregnant Amish ................ 100 pts.
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Amish and Mormon ............. 1000 pts.
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Let's start a kind of World Record for this. Please keep me updated on your
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kills. All kills must be confirmed, so if you have to use a few extra bullets,
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fear not .. just as long as he dies - DEAD!
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This has been part one of The Amish File
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A Silent Pholks International
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Anarchy Unlimited
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along with
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Southeastern Pirates Independance
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Look for Part II at a good AE near you.
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Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
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