241 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
241 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
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<=========\\ /> /> //========>
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\\======---- / >lade / \unners Productions ----======//
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PRESENTS
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How to have PHUNN with
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Bottle Rockets and Bees, Hornets, and large stinging insects.
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(With little danger to your personal self)
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<=-OR-=>
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How to kill bees and wasps.
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Written by:
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Joe Shmoe the Eskimo / Two PHUNN
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and Tour De France \ guys!
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Spelling errors by:
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Tour De France
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*****************************************************************************
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* The people mentioned, or listed above are in no way responsible for *
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* anything that may happen to anyone who may try the things mentioned *
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* below. As far as the people mentioned here are concerned, this is for *
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* INFORMATION ONLY. This was not meant as a suggestion in any way. *
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*****************************************************************************
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We will allow use on other boards, but DO NOT EDIT. All credits, and wording must be
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kept the same.
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<===========================================================================>
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Have you ever been stung by a ** NASTY ** bee or hornet?
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Did the bee hive by the tree-fort ever ruin a perfect chance to drop firecrackers on
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that bratty little nieghbor?
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Did you ever want a PHUN and EXCITING way to dispose of those left-over bottle rockets?
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If you answed "YES" to any of those questions, then read on!
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We will show you many ways of keeping that Bee from EVER having children, or
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maybe that wasp over there from flying about, and annoying you soooo much. If this
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sounds like a PHUNN way to kill an afternoon, (or any extra bees you may have lying aro
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und) then TRY IT!! It can be phun!
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[TO BEGIN] You will need the following materials:
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#1) A couple (47) bottle rockets
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#2) A few (hundred) matches
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#3) A few (thousand) annoying bees and wasps
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#4) A stupid friend
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#5) Our HANDY-DANDY Acme hand-held rocket launcher (directions
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will follow), or a Coke(C) bottle, and heavy glove
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#6) ** A FIRE EXTINGUISHER ** <== VERY IMPORTANT
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[HAND-HELD LAUNCHER] Here are our plans for the launcher. Very simple. VERY SIMPLE.
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Sooooo easy, any idiot can make this. When your done, you'll have proven my point! Now,
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on to the hard stuff. (NO! PUT THAT BACK IN YOUR PANTS!!)
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Find yourself a tube about the diameter of a pencil. Now, take the bottom off
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of a medium Planters (C) peanut can (The metal part. This can be removed with your
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average can opener.) Now, drill, or punch, out a hole about the same diameter of the
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tu
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be. Try to make it a WEE bit smaller than the tube. Then, you can make it a tight fit.
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If you weren't able to make it fit very tight, use a very strong adhesive (such as Goop
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(C), availible at almost any "kwalitee" hardware store.) Now, tape the edges of
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the can top (so your little sister doesn't go SCREECHING to Mom, "Waaaah! Waaaaah, big
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brother made me cut my hand when I was looking through his drawers, even though he's
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not home.") Also... For the finishing touch, bend the end over, or smash it good, s
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o the expelled propellant doesn't fry your chest, or other VITAL body parts.
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#1:Exploding Wasps
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[1] I know from past experiences that one of these pain causing varment's favorite hide
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outs are the outdoor lamps we all have by our patio or back door. To stick your hand
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up in the lamp and spray them with Raid (C) is not a smart thing to do and is not
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very effective. If you do not completely obliterate the entire population or wasps they
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will seek and get revenge on you and your family every chance they get. They will
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destroy your outdoor life, therefore keeping you inside at all times, with this they
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will have succeded at depriving you of 2 very important factors.
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1.your education
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2.phun
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This will make you a social eggshell family. So now you can appreciate this file and
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my point of view.
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In order for this one to work you will need the things listed previously. If you
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want you can be daring (and stupid) and use your hand launcher. Some people think they
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can get away with this one, as they will tell you after they are sorely mistaken
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. I strongly suggest using a bottle.
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This is the SIMPLE,SIMPLE plan for seeing exploding wasps and also smelling them if you
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wish.
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1.Find your dumb friend mentioned early in the selection,and have him/her line
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it up carefully as not to miss. This part must be done with extreme caution for if they
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misalign you may not get another chance.
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2. Light the rocket and run,run,run. The rocket should ram right into the nest,
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and if you did it right, get lodged in there, then see the pretty exploding wasps. If
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you messed it up, see your dumb ex-friend curse and try to out-run the non-explode
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d bees.
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We hope that this will help you in your quest for ultimate bee/wasp destruction.
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[NOTE] We did this trick, but with a few variations. For luanching, we used a bottle,
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and held it in our hand with a glove. We got near the lamp, and while I (Joe) held the
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bottle, armed with a rocket, T. De F. lit the rocket. With the lengnth of the wick
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, I had enough time to move the rocket under the lamp.(While still holding it) We have
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found that this is the best, and most accurate way to luanch the rocket. As soon as the
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rocket lifted off from the bottle, we RAN. This is a very advisible thing to do.
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We suggest the same. We got about ten feet away, and turned around. Just before the
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rocket went of, about 30 wasps came flying out. Then, it exploded, and about 25 wasps
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(Dead) fell from the lamp, along with pieces of the nest. After you have destroyed t
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he nest, you can do "Flaming Wasps," our next entry. If you wait about 5-10 minutes,
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you will see a few wasps sitting on the wall. Now is the time to, "See wasp burn. Burn
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wasp, burn."
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#2:Flaming Wasps
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[1] Here is another way of disposing of those ** NASTY ** wasps in the outdoor lamp.
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If you observe these fellows for a while, around noon, there is alot of activity around
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the nest. Notice the BUSY, BUSY, wasps. These are very industrius little insects.
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Doesn't it make you proud of your expertise in making thier life a living hell? Now,
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as I mentioned, they will be going in, and out, in, and out, in, and out..... You get
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the idea now, don't you? Well, they will frequently land on the wall. Now, you can u
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se one, of two things to keep them from getting a cold. Oil for one, though it's not
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too flammable, and Gas, which of course speaks for itself. Now, take your chosen liquid,
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and follow the directions for the appropriate one.
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[2] For Oil... This can be very phunny, and is also an easy way to find out which wasp
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is the strongest of all. You take a squirt can, and fill it with your chosen oil. Now
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wait patiantly for the wasp to land on the wall. Quicly, run up there, and spray y
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our oil on the wasp. He will then proceed to crawl around the wall in circles, and then
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will JUMP off the wall and try to fly. This can be VERY ammusing, for the wasp will
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proceed to drop about a foot, for every half-foot forward. As the wasp reaches his
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final destination, you can utilate the option for Gas.
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[3] For Gas... This is VERY phunny, and also will help you learn the average lifetime
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of a flaming wasp. Now, lets say you did the oil trick. There he is, the object of you
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greatest hatred, the wasp. You have him at your mercy. You, as a human being, are
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obligated to KILL HIM!!! O.k., you have your squirt can full of Ammoco Premium
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Unleaded(C) gasoline. If you used the oil trick (The safest way to go), the wasp will
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be lying on the ground, crawling around, and flapping his wings. Just for safteys sake,
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gi
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ve him another squirt of oil. Now, take your gas, and spray the wasp with it. Now, take
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your matches, and "See wasp burn. Burn wasp, burn." If your lucky, or didn't use oil,
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the wasp may do an imitation of a B-19 bomber that has been hit, and is going dow
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n in a flaming glory.
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[ANOTHER WAY] A veriation to this trick is to find a nest thats not very high, and that
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you can easily access. Get the gas can, and (with extingisher on hand)
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proceed to spray gas on the nest. This trick is easyist with a phriend. Now, your
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phriend will throw a lit match on the nest. The nest will instantly flame up, killing
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almost all the wasps. We did this to a nest in the back af a chair with vinal padding.
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They had found a hole, and made a huge nest in there. We sprayed it, and lit it, and
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killed over fourty wasps. There was a huge pile of dead wasps there, and then we put
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firecrackers in there. **** WARNING! DON'T TRY THIS WITHOUT A FIRE EXTINGUISHER! THE
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FIRE WILL BE VERY HARD TO PUT OUT, WITH ALL THE WASPS FLYING AROUND!!! ****
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#3:Wasp-in-a-box
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[1] This one is phunn if you enjoy the thought of 30-50 wasps dieing in agony. This
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PHUNN thing to do requires the following:
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1.A small bird house.
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2.A few objects mentioned below, depending on what you feel would be the most
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painfull thing t0o do.
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Now, on to the phunn stuff.
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[2] Take your bird house, and make sure there is only one opening, (The front
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hole/door.) If there are side vents, or cracks, tape them up. When your done with that,
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find a large cork that will fit in the front door. This should completely plug the hole.
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Now, when you're done with all that, go on to step 3.
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[3] Go find a place FILLED with wasps, like an old trailer. Your chosen place shouldn't
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be high. Place your bird house very close to this place, and then stand back, and throw
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things at the nest, so the wasps will find your box. Most uv the time, this doe
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sn't work, but if it doesn't work, just leave it alone for a couple of days. Within a
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week, there should be a wasp nest in the
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house. If so, get ready for this, and do it as fast as possible. Light a smoke bomb,
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cherry bomb, or M-80, and have your cork in hand. Now run up to the house, insert your
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torture device, put the cork in, and run. This is more satisfying with an explosive
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, cuz it usually blows up the house, and kills every wasp in there. If you wan't to see
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wasp guts, this is the way to go.
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#4.Exploding Bees
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[1] Ya MAN! This is ALWAZE phunn, and a great way to learn about nature. For instance:
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Lets say you wan't to see thhe inside of a bee hive. Well, only a COMPLETE idiot would
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throw things at the nest, trying to break it open. The way we outline, you can al
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so kill a few bees, and see the inside without totaly mutalating it. Now, Follow these
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steps for the surest, and mostest, phunnest, way to make 'Exploding Bees'
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[2] Go out and find a NICE LARGE bee hive. A very common place to find this is in a
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tree. I have never seen them anyplace else, but I suppose it's possible. O.k., now that
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you have a beehive in your sights, get out hand held launcher, or a bottle with a g
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love. Now, get some bottle rockets and matches... You're ready for step three.
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[3] Load your launcher, and have matches or lighter ready. Aim the rocket at the bee
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hive. You should be about ten feet away. Light it, and after it has launched, RUN. Don't
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run too far, because the bees won't chase you. If you're luckey, and everything w
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ent as planned, the rocket got stuck in the bee hive, and the explosive went off,
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blowing a hole in the hive. Now you can see what the inside of a bee hive looks like.
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Also, you may find a few dead bees at the base of the nest. Now WASN'T THAT FUN!
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Thank you for reading this article.
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Finished at 2:43 pm 08/10/87
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Coming soon:
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/\ /\
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/_/ / >
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/ \ /__/
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/___/LADE / \UNNERS
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/> /> /
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/ > / > >
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** 20 Megs **
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Also...
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Look for more /> />
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/ >lade / \unners PRODUCTIONS filez.
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Latur,
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J. S. E.
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T. De F.
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DOWNLOADED FROM P-80 SYSTEMS......
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Downloaded From P-80 International Information Systems 304-744-2253
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