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IRC Weekly    -       "anyways back at the farm"       -    IRC Weekly
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Edition #2

Illustrative book about birds                       subzero
Top 10 most stupid things said on #hack             horten
Quotes and Quotes and more Quotes                   subzero
The AOL Invasion                                    Chemical Residue
Once Upon a time in WarezLand                       Ephemeral Datagram
Stumbles elite Cross-werd                           stumble
Vlad Fewl                                           LySeR
A Delay in Time                                     subzero
----------------------------------------------------------------------

------- - --- - -    -       -
Illustrative book about birds
---- -  - -- --   -

  Its BIRD... Its a plane... NO Its ummmmmm... anyways birds fly...
they have wings...

  Ok here it is edition #2 released by popular demand by those of
a higher level of intelligence(and stuph).

  As you take a deep breath you realize you are STILL on your computer
with the hours dwindling away.. life passing you by.. you begin to
wonder... then the journey begins into the depths of IRC Weekly...


------- - --- - -    -       -
Top 10 most stupid things said on #hack
---- -  - -- --   -

                Top 10 most stupid things said on #hack
                            This week anyways...

1. <TheMaster> this could be a *Really* Stupid question, but im trying to
               get password file here at the U of A, and ive tryed in all
               the places where text files say to look, and so far all
               ive been able to find is /etc/passwd. that may look to be
               the corredt thing..

2. <Armitage> hello?
   <Armitage> r we moderated?

3. <coup> how do you flood??

4. <LarkB> I am a Lamer, but i have to get a split to get someone killed.
           Can any hacker help me?

5. <DK> ansi art is leet:)

6. <jmecca> does ne1 got a netcom shell accnt to trade

7. <Blake> does anyone know where to get AOHELL???????  (not a joke)

8. <Lickher> Where can you get Windows 95???

9. <TaP> anyone know where I can get full free shell service???

10. <Tadpole> hello all you hacker out there

						- horten


------- - --- - -    -       -
Quotes and Quotes and more Quotes
---- -  - -- --   -

Ever wondered what a senior frog thought about IRC Weekly?
<SrFrog> zircon: this is kewl

You know you have no life when...
<tempest> I donut have to worry about bad breath cause I kiss girls
          on IRC!

IRC addict?!?
<Stumble> yew know its bad when yew type 6667 as the time on yur microwave
          tew heat pizzah pockets

When an IRCOP has other things on his mind...
<FlashMan> BEAUTY BEAT HER MEAT
<FlashMan> i mean
<FlashMan> BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Time to get away from that monitor...
<Pip> PIKABOOO  I   WANT TO SEE YOU


------- - --- - -    -       -
The AOL Invasion
---- -  - -- --   -

                         The AOL Invasion
                        by Chemical Residue

  Do you remember the first time AOL made you sick?  Was it that cheezy
commercial with those two faggots who talk about movie tickets and
dinosaurs, or was it getting harassed by all of that junk mail that they
send you every other week? (Of course, some of you probably have a
collection of these disks sitting around by now. :))  Maybe it was
having your favorite newsgroups flooded by AOLamers asking for "kewl
K-RaD WaReZ or kiddie porn." (Isn't Michael Jackson on AOL?)

  Well, get ready to get sick again because America Online, probably
the most hated online service to date, has found yet another way to
harass the Internet community.  Beginning in September 1995, the AOL
IRC Servers will be made available for the first time ever to AOL users
everywhere.

  What does this mean?  Well, all of those AOL users who have been
chatting in the AOL chat rooms, will now be unleashed to wreak havok
on the Internet.  Now you get to hear all of the bullshit you normally
would hear in the AOL chat rooms, including 14 year olds looking for
netsex, 40+ yr-old's pretending to be 14 year olds looking for netsex,
and the trading of pr0n and warez.

  How else will this affect you?  Well, there are already about
12,000-14,000 users on IRC at any given time.  The new AOL users will
mean increased server load for all servers, which will mean more
netsplits, more hacked ops, and an overall decrease in performance.
Remember, when IRC was created back in the 80's, it was not meant to
support the numbers that we have today.  However, I am now predicting
that once America Online gives its users IRC access, other online
services like Compuserve and MSN will follow, and the number of users
on IRC will be at least 20,000-30,000.

  Today is September 1, 1995, and expecting the new AOL server to come
online soon, I decided to see if any AOL users are on IRC at the time.
What happened?  I got screenfuls of names!  That's a lot of lamers!  At a
time when the new IRC service hasn't really been announced yet, there are
MANY people already using it.  Can you imagine when it becomes announced,
if only 1% of AOL's 3 million users get on IRC, that will mean 30,000 more
users on IRC, compared to the 12,000-14,000 that are currently on!

  The name of the server that AOL is currently using is irc02.irc.aol.com.
So I tried to connect to this new server, but was unsuccessful.  I then
decided to see what servers are actually ALLOWED to connect to it,
and see that there are only a handful of servers.  That's very nice of AOL,
increase the number of IRC users by two or three times, and only allow a
handful of outside machines to connect to its own server.

  In conclusion, I think that something must be done about America
Online.  If its new IRC servers go online, IRC will be flooded like never
before.  We must do something about this.  If you are an IRC Server
Admin, I suggest that you k-line *aol.com.  As for everyone else, maybe
writing (flooding?) AOL's President telling him that his crap is not
wanted here.  Laters.

  Chemical Residue


------- - --- - -    -       -
Once upon a time in WarezLand
---- -  - -- --   -
You may have read this before but thats life...

        Once upon a time there was this guy named John. John was not
what you would call a smooth customer. In fact, he lacked even a basic
sense of personal hygiene. He was a lot like our previous pal
Jim. However, he had one fundamental difference...he was evil. Not
evil in the sense of just having nasty ideas...this guy was actually
the son of Satan. Now _that's_ evil.

        John didn't know he was the son of Satan...he thought everyone
got urges to be evil, and he was just less able to control
himself. For example, he couldn't imagine his landlord actually giving
in to the universal urge to slash the brake lines on school buses, but
that didn't mean he wasn't THINKING about it. John thought about it
all the time. In fact, he actually did it once, but he was such a
chickenshit that he only did it to a bus in the junkyard and not a
genuine bus. What a wimp.

        As you might imagine, John was pretty much socially
impaired. Being the son of Satan will do that to a guy. When he went
to parties, people would get the hell outta there. Well, all the
people who weren't drunk off their asses. These people were in for a
fun time, because John liked to tie up drunk people with dental
floss. Why dental floss, you may ask? Shit, don't ask me. I don't
understand the motivations driving a spawn of Satan. But anyway, he'd
tie these drunk passed out losers up with dental floss, and start
kicking them and shit, until they woke up. And since he was such a
chickenshit, he'd run away screaming. This was on his good days.

        A kind soul had him committed to a therapeutic ward at the
local hospital. This brings me to another story; the story of Frank
the doctor, but don't worry, it's short. Frank was an idealist. He
believed very passionately in the healing process as a beautiful
thing, and he became a doctor to help and to heal. When he got the
opportunity to work with troubled souls, he leaped at the
chance. Troubled bodies were almost easy to help; troubled souls, now
_that_ would be his calling. He was a therapist, and a very good
one. But when he saw John and listened to him talk for about five
minutes, he started laughing his ass off, because John was such a
MAJOR loser. He was simply the biggest dumbass, dork, chickenshit
weenie that had ever existed. In fact, Frank was even tempted to tie
John up with dental floss and kick the hell out of him. But he thought
it might cast doubts about his ability to help other troubled
souls. So he just got some big security guards to beat him up and
throw him into a dumpster behind the hospital.

        That's where John learned about IRC. Apparently, one of
Tantalos' young male love slaves had checked into the pediatric ward
for extreme anal trauma. All he could say was ``EYE ARE SEE EYE ARE
SEE EYE ARE SEE'' over and over again. Sure enough, when John typed
irc at his Unix (Ultrix, no less!) prompt, he got connected to the
Internet Relay Chat network. Here's a bit of a log:

<DERR> hey john
> i wanna tie you up with dental floss and beat the shit out of you
<DERR> hell, sounds good to me!
*** Mode change "+o john" on #warez5 by DERR
* john rapes derr
<DERR> hahaha...you're all right, kid, you know that?

        So as you can see, John fit in like a lock and key with the
lamers and fuckups in the #warez channels. The moral of this story: if
you feel like you are surrounded by lamers in the #warez channels,
don't worry...you fit right in.

                                                 Ephemeral Datagram

------- - --- - -    -       -
Stumbles elite Cross-werd
---- -  - -- --   -

Stumbles elite Cross-werd for IRC weekly (fer elite irc'ers only!!)

    1_
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   3|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_ _ _ _|_| |_|  13_                |_|
        |_|7|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_ _|_|__14 15__ __24_|_|
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         6|_|_|9|_|_|_|_|_| |_|     |_|_ _ _|_|_  |_| |_|
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             _ _|_|_ _ _ _                23|_|_|_|_|
          20|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|

Down:
1. Thing Vanity ircops like to do a lot.
4. Irc server Benny has O line on.
5. Acronym For multi-collide bot
6. Common practice in the, has www.multiple.org web page thats elite.
8. SrFrogs script, also little hair bugs.
10. Acronym for Internet Take over team..
11. Way those warez traders trade on irc.
12. Admitance of lameness.. Nuff said.
13. Slang term for Phoenix.
15. CTCP used to determine type of script what a person is running.
17. One of subzero's words. have no clue.
18. Slang term for mother fucker.
19. What we are suppossed to do on IRC but rarely do.
24. Old term used for having peoples phone number, name, etc.


Across:
2. Benny, prae, piker are this.
3. #warez7 is full of _____'s
6. C util to keep track of splits.
7. IRCops hang out in #(blank)_zone
9. "wow this mag is really _____"
14. Offical food of irc. open till 2am in most area's.
15. irc.mo.net is a know ______ server.
16. Common greeting on irc..
18. Type of truck, another word for a pimp daddy.
20. Script by vassago.
21. Command to rid you of annoying messages from lamers.
22. DrD's old account name was P____
23. Name of vapor ware offering software.
25. New term for having someone number, addres, name, etc.


------- - --- - -    -       -
Vlad Fewl
---- -  - -- --   -

## IRC log from 9-2-95 at about 2:00pm PDT
## Arguing with some lamer about the InterNIC and shit


*** Vlad (~Vlad@gonzo.cc.wwu.edu) has joined channel #seattle
<LyS> yes
<LyS> but they are taking years doing it
<LyS> InterNIC sucks
<Vlad> hello all
<Vlad> LyS let me see you use I-Net with out internic
<Vlad> internic is amazing
<LyS> vlad, internic sucks
<LyS> its slow and inefficient
<LyS> brad, I sent in the update like.. umm.. 2 weeks agi
<LyS> ago
<Vlad> LyS, well then get off an internic server
<Vlad> oh sorry.. that's right.. there would be no IRC with out internic
<LyS> vlad, I own 5 domains yew twat
<Vlad> oh wait.. there would be no telnet with out internic either... oh wait.. there would be no damn routers with out internic
<morpheus_> who is this vlad poser?
<Vlad> LyS, the government owns all EDU....
<morpheus_> fucking go suck a neck you geek
<morpheus_> friggin yank goth poser
<LyS> brad, Dunno.. but he donut know whut hez talking about
<LyS> the InterNIC is going away
<Vlad> LyS, I also have 3 domanis via internic.. and I would like to see someone run an ISP with out internic?
<Vlad> or an irc server.. or a ftp site.. or anything
<LyS> vlad, easy
<LyS> itz called DNS
<morpheus_> vlad : umm I ran one fine before internic
<morpheus_> fucking geek
<LyS> InterNIC just keeps names updated and in order
<LyS> If you add a domain to the DNS.. it will show up..
<Vlad> LyS, saying internic sux would be just like saying there is no need for the united states cenus breau
<LyS> haha
<LyS> the InterNIC SUCKS
<Oakley> vlad there isn't
<morpheus_> ummm internic started in 92 you moron
<morpheus_> I've been around alot longer
<Vlad> Oakley.. heheh really now?
<LyS> they are slow
<Oakley> vlad we lived without the census bureau
<LyS> The InterNIC is gonna go away
<Oakley> we don't need the internic
<morpheus_> vlad go masterbate to anne rice
<Vlad> Oakley.. really how long?
* LyS can see the InterNIC being transfered to CIX and then CIX will charge for domains and any updates
<Oakley> vlad look its for information, it isn't vital to our existance
<morpheus_> I bet yer one of those con geeks that wears fangs
<Vlad> Oakley, the cenus breau was set up before the tax system.. in order to have a tax system you need a cenus
<morpheus_> uneducated yank twat
<morpheus_> lys : hell ya
<Vlad> and if you are going to tell me there is no need for taxes I will expect you to log off internet right now.. cuz taxes is all this thing is run on
<morpheus_> hahahahah
<morpheus_> taxes don't pay for internet anymore you moron
<Oakley> so screw the tax system.  my point is, there's nothing that we created that we can't live without
<morpheus_> what books YOU been reading?
<LySeR> yeh right
<Vlad> morpheus.. ahh fuck you they don't
<LySeR> I sent in a domain update like.. 3 weeks ago
<Vlad> the inter network backbone for internet is government funded via the 6 super computers
<morpheus_> you stupid yank poofter
<LySeR> heh
<Vlad> Seattle (UW), LA (UCLA), Chicago, New York, Kanas City, Dallas
<morpheus_> vlad : me (oxford).. suck my dick
<Vlad> ALL!!!!! routers go through them.. and if one of them goes down.. the internet collapses. and they are run and paid for via us dollars
<LyS> vlad, there is no NSFNet anymore you twat
<LyS> NSFNET WAS DISBANDED
<morpheus_> bullshit... internet existed before internic you moron
-> [morpheus] Umm.. vlad is a little slow
<Vlad> LyS, you see what happens to internet when the government pulls out it's dollars
<morpheus_> what are you.. stupid
<morpheus_> the gov DID pull out idiot
<morpheus_> a year ago
<Vlad> morpheus, you seem to have missed the subject change.. not that I'm surprised
<morpheus_> sure the gov sponsers stuppid unis here and there, but the backbones are in provate hands now
<Vlad> morpheus.. umm what the fuck are you smokeing boy?
<LyS> vlad, what are you talking about
<Oakley> vlad umm you're wrong face it
<Vlad> 26 million dollars a year the us government puts into the internet
<LyS> The Goverment pays for its own lines.. etc
<morpheus_> vlad : well talking to someone with a nick as stupid as 'vlad' I got a little confused
<Vlad> LyS.. the government maintains all EDU domains
<LyS> Not
<Vlad> can you imagine an internet with out EDU domains.. no you can't.. cuz their would be no routers
<morpheus_> edu != internet moron
<Oakley> besides everybody thats on the net would bring it back.. they'd be willing to pput some money into it
<Oakley> vlad, even if they didn, so what?  the schools would go away?
<morpheus_> my router has nothing to do with edu
<morpheus_> traceroute me
<Oakley> vlad, there are routers all over the fucking place!!!!!!!!!!!!
<LyS> the state goverments maybe.. not the federal govbernment.. and all private .EDU's are mainteained by the shcools
<Vlad> LyS what links do you run your domains through.. I bet they go through at least 2 edu routers
<Oakley> dude traceroute anyone
<Oakley> you get mcinet all over the place
<LyS> vlad, sorry.. they don't
<morpheus_> vlad : bullshit
<morpheus_> traceroute me
<morpheus_> I own this machine, and it's t1
<Oakley> anywhere I traceroute, I get nothing but commercial and .net s..
<LyS> They dump straight into Net99
<Vlad> morpheus.. and where do you get your link?
<Oakley> even if I traceroute to my sis's school the only time it hits an .edu is when it hits their computer
<morpheus_> vlad : from wolfe inetrnet.. that gets their link from net99 and sprint
<morpheus_> no edus' there
<Vlad> and where does Net99 get it's link.. and who pays for that?
<morpheus_> fuck... what are you stupid?
<Vlad> and who owns sprint??
<Oakley> vlad, YOU'RE FUCKED UP!
<morpheus_> net99 makes it's own fucking backbone
<Oakley> SPRINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
<LyS> Vlad, the government does not support the InterNet.. nor does it own it.. nor does it spend much money on it
<morpheus_> and it pays for it itself
<Vlad> sprint is a goverment subsides company
<LyS> vlad, Net99 does
<LyS> hahahaha
<Vlad> if the government took out it's money for communicats sprint would die out to AT&T like THAT
-> [morpheus] hahaha.. sprint is a government subsidiary.. yeh right
<Vlad> and you link would go down..
<morpheus_> okay... maybe vlad seemed to have somewhat of a point about an hour ago, but he's proveb himself to be an idiot
<LyS> no kidding
[morpheus_!root@nephilim.connected.com] kick his lame sorry as.. or gimme ops :)
-> [morpheus_] hahhaaha.. he iz lame...
*** Vlad has left channel #seattle
<morpheus_> what a fucking moron
<LyS> NSFNet is dead.. has been since november 93


------- - --- - -    -       -
A Delay in Time
---- -  - -- --   -

  All stoned and shit writing up why this is late... umm we had
technical difficulty ya thats it.  Anyways we will try to have
#3 out on time for ya'll (atleast we aint as late as windows 95)
Werd.. hope ya enjoyed #2... Peace!

    Zircon's final note:
      And may tha m00sh3 be wid jew.

    subzero's final note:
      The Worlds Problems Are A Result Of Zircon.

  Founder of IRC Weekly: subzero
  Chief Editor         : zircon

  Thanx for this edition go out to:
     horten, Chemical Residue, Ephemeral Datagram, Stumble, LySeR