106 lines
4.1 KiB
Plaintext
106 lines
4.1 KiB
Plaintext
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Instructions on using IRC -According to Cin
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Bring out the obnoxious potential in you, and battle it out
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with the Gods of trivial (And ever so depressing) argument.
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To know what you're up against, a brief description of what
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skills you need to acquire in order to be any threat in the
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Obnoxious World of IRC. Feign utter interest in being right
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and corrective about any, past, present or indeed, future
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topic of discussion. Only you are allowed to be right.
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Always remember, even if what someone else has stated is
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agreeable, there is always room for correction. Simply
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replying with a smiley face as such, <20>:),<2C> clearly indicates
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that you are far more competent and aware than anyone else in
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the channel, and so ensuring the metaphorical mass of your
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penis is equal to that of your head.
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If you are bored and wish to mock someone, enter the
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#hack/hackers/hacking channels and ask of their excellent
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craftsmanship skills claiming you wish to fashion a piece of
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furniture out of your computer with an axe and are looking
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for instructions.
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Figure 1.
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Admirable sofa
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/ Monior.
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/ /
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\ / /
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.--. .' / .--. /
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||||.--------.---------.|||| ___
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|||| | |||| / |
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||||=======-. .-========||||__/ |
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||||_________.__________|||x |
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|__|--------------------|__x_______|
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\
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.'
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/ '-.
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\
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\
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Wires, evidence of the construction
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using computer parts.
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Though, like most IRC beginners, you are just looking for a
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place to socialise, or for help. So if you manage to find a
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server with channels where users actually do converse, then
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it is better for your sense of well being as a human not to
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send any messages directly to the channel, or any place where
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other users can actually read and reply. In fact, it is
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better to view the server's channel list and titter at the
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amusing topic names. Steer clear of channels or points of
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interactivity.
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Unfortunately there is no intersecting category of attitude
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and character in-between the dull un-interesting half-wit
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conversation provided by Instant Messaging applications made
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as of late (MSN Messenger, Yahoo Messenger, Skype, Google
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Talk), and the old fashioned, yet, still ever so popular
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phenomenally despicable monstrosity that we know know as IRC.
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Unfortunately, your operating system is a direct mirror image
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of your penis size. In fact, I declare that the next major
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open source operating system's logo be so phallic that no one
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will notice. Because open source applications are allowed to
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get away with naming such as 'GIMP'; why shouldn't it be
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acceptable to symbolise your whole operating system network
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on the image of a penis? Because 95% of IRC users (And Linux
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operators) have heads that are close to reaching critical
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mass, which are suspended by their massive internet
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connections, enabling their contemptible patronising chatter
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to be transported around the planet only to disturb and
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hinder other internet users' prospects of living.
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Figure 2.
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.---. IRC user.
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.====@'.__
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| __' __ __ .--. Me losing the
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'._ __o' | \_ _/ | x x | will to live.
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,| |____|-----------|____| c >
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,'.'\ /_\ /_\ \ \n_| /
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. . \
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As Figure 2 clearly demonstrates, it is not a pleasurable
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experience.
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Quite clearly, I hate IRC. More specifically, the people who
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use it -but they stand for all that IRC is; A collective
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compilation of bitter detestable nerds. According to reliable
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sources (From IRC... Debatable), it used to be a lovely place
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of information transferral and adventurous programmers awing
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at the sheer braggable number of users on their server; 14.
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Times change. I'm sure there is some good in IRC. But why
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make this an unbiased article when I am obviously trying to
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persuade you to hate it?
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