54 lines
2.1 KiB
Plaintext
54 lines
2.1 KiB
Plaintext
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I found this in the latest edition of "Mad Magazin" and thought it was
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quite funny/appropriate for this discussion:
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What Would REALLY Happen If Extraterrestials Came to Earth Today
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1) The N.R.A. would immediately lobby Congress to legalize the aliens'
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100-gigawatt death-ray lasers as "legitimate sporting weapons"!
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2) Entertainment Tonight would feature footage of the State Dinner
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welcoming the aliens, but only because River Phoenix was there too!
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3) Within a week, Oprah would have them on, yelling at each other
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Topic in picture reads "Why can't Alpha-16 males pick up their
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fleeboid modules?"
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4) Politiacally correct people would attack anyone calling them "aliens"
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instead of "alternatively-evolved"!
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5) Madonna would find out exactly how they have sex and then figure out a
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way to do it in her stage act!
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6) Faster than you can say "Garfield," dolls in their likeness would be
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suction-cupped to each and every car window in America!
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7) Dana Carvey would impersonate their leader on Saturday Night Live,
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prompting millions of bad office comedians to re-hash it for the next
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three months!
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8) They would get sucked into the "Pepsi vs. Coke" wars!
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9) All across the country, every single department store, car dealership,
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and discount appliance center would have a "spaceman sale", thus
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giving them an excuse to jack up their prices at least 25 percent.
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10) The French would treat them exactly like they treat all foreign
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visitors - rudely!
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11) Hard-core Star Trekkies would scoff at the aliens' spaceship for
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being "so cheesy-looking"!
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12) Republicans would devise an extraterrestrial version of the Willie
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Horton commercial to scare whites into voting for them!
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13) Mentally-unbalanced celebrity stalkers would abandon their "mere
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human" victims to go after "someone really famous"!
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14) The would use their superior intelligence and deduce that Quayle is a
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moron!
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You may laugh, spit, or criticize me (for posting this) or MAD Magazine
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(for writing this)
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