74 lines
2.6 KiB
Plaintext
74 lines
2.6 KiB
Plaintext
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To my loving wife.
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------------------
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During the past year, I have tried to
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seduce you 365 times. I have only
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succeeded 35 times. This is an average
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of one every ten days. The following is
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a list of the reasons why I did not
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succeed more often:
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Wake the children...................17
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It's too late.......................23
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I'ts too hot........................15
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It's too cold........................5
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It's too early......................15
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You were pretending to be asleep....45
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Window open,neigbours might hear.....9
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Backache.............................8
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Toothace.............................7
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Giggles..............................6
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Too full.............................3
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Not in the mood......................1
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Baby was crying......................9
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Watch the late show..................7
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Mud pack.............................4
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New hair do..........................5
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Company next room....................3
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You had to go to the bathroom.......11
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Headache............................19
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During the 35 times I did succeed the
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activity was not entirely satisfactory
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because:
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2 times you decided the ceiling needed
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painting.
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5 times you chewed your gum the whole
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time.
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4 times you watched TV over my shoulder18 times you told me to hurry up and
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get it over with.
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6 times I had to wake you up to tell
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you we were through.
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And one I was afraid I had hurt you
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because I felt you move.
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Honey it's no damm wonder I drink so
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much!
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Your loving husband.
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm)
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& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845
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Rat Head Ratsnatcher 510-524-3649
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Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766
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realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 415-567-7043
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Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102
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Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives,
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arcane knowledge, political extremism, diversive sexuality,
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insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS.
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Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are,
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where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother.
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"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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