65 lines
4.0 KiB
Plaintext
65 lines
4.0 KiB
Plaintext
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When you were a child, one or more of your parents might have told you a
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semi-metaphorical tale about how you were created. This tale might have had as
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its main characters people or animals or, of course, people and animals, but
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that doesn't make a difference. The joys of love and affection were probably
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conveyed, as were any other morals your story-teller wanted to imbed in your
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spongy young mind. In all probability, however, no one told you about how you
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can try to make babies with anyone, not just the person you love, and that
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people who don't love you will want to make babies with you more if you
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shave your dick and balls. After all, you could have been confused and
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decided that all you had to do was take a razor to your privates in order to
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make a baby. That would have been bad. Now that you have come to the age
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when the hair on your genitals curls up in recoil from its own self-disgust,
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the techniques of lob and sack shearing can be passed on to you without the
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looming hassle of legal recourse.
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To understand how all the steps interact, you must first know the desired
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effect. When you are out of the shower and drying yourself with an off-white
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egyptian cotton bath towel, you will want to be able to run your hand all
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around your genital area and feel what can be explained as a thunder-rod
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and nut-bag made of chamois. It should be free of skin catching stubble
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that will irritate your skin and the skin of those you rub against. For
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aesthetic purposes, you'll want a gradient of hair running from your pubic
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region to your belly. You do not want an abrupt lack of hair under your
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belt. The transfer from hairy to baldness should look as natural as
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possible. You will hope not to see blood spots, and if you were careful
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with the razor, you won't. The end result is pleasing to touch and nice
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on the eyes.
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You will love your new improved loaf and jewels so much you won't be able to
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stop stroking them for the first month. A top of the line shave requires
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three things. First, Oil of Olay sensitive skin soap in bar form. The
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liquid stuff won't work well. Women have known that foam and liquid soap
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sucks for a long time. Everything but the bar is almost guaranteed to give
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you razor burn on your pubic area. The pink Oil of Olay bar might work fine
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too, but I have never used anything but sensitive skin soap. Second, a good
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razor. The newer the knife, the better the shave. I use the light green,
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sensitive skin, disposable twin blade with the aloe moisture strip to shave
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the balls I adore (Not my own, obviously. I am a woman.). I know someone
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who uses the Mach 5, or whatever that pumped up, three blade, guy razor
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with the gripping aerodynamic handle is called. Finally, you need a stable
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hand communicating with a capable brain. Be careful, move slowly. Find a
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routine and a path that the razor glides over smoothly. Don't just start
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hacking away at your skin where it folds. Use your fingers to pull the skin
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flat and then shave it. Light the room that you will be shaving in well.
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Keep the package area lathered. Double and triple check for smoothness.
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If you miss a spot, don't cry. If your hair is longer than an inch, first
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use clippers or scissors to trim before you make way to the shower. When
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you are done, sprinkle some sexy smelling talcum powder down there and
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start feeling like a real man. Kama Sutra honey dust is an excellent
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product. You will have the kind of penis that deserves a blow job
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anytime. If you skip the dick shear and opt to soften just your sack,
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that is fine too. I can understand how a shiny strip of razor sharp metal
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might frighten you into a limp eternity. Be clear on the aesthetic
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consequences of that choice, however. This is not a decision you make once.
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You must keep shaving to fight the stubble.
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One more thing; the size of your penis will appear bigger after shaving
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in exact proportion to the length your pubes were before you went bald.
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Beware of your smoother, larger, more satisfying sex tool. Women will
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want you again after they've had you once, so wear a condom! Babies
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and STDs are bad if you don't want them.
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GunErekt
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