328 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
328 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
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********************************************
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** **
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** THE ROBLE HALL PURITY TEST **
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** ___ _____ ____ ______ ____ **
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** **
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********************************************
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INSTRUCTIONS
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____________
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100 points, no time limit. Test may be taken in any number of sittings or
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layings. Open note, open consultation. Calculators permitted. Use your own
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judgement as to whether to include prepubescent acts.
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The word "relative" is used here to mean someone who is descended from the same
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grandparents that you are.
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Please do not discuss the test with people until they have taken it.
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People who consider themselves to be homosexual should substitute the phrase
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another homosexual for the phrase a member of the opposite sex.
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SCORING
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_______
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Purity = Number of "no" answers.
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Score = Number of "yes" answers.
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The following are some suggested varients:
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Imaginary Score = Number of things that you have not done but have
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wanted to do at one time or another.
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McCorquodale Number = Purity - Imaginary Score = number of things you
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haven't done and haven't ever wanted to.
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McCorquodale has a Mc Corquodale number of zero.
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Simay Quotient = 100 X (Imaginary Score/Number of yes answers)
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Within each section, the questions are in order of increasing difficulty. This
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does not apply to the extra credit section or the memorial section.
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Difficulty was determined from a poll of 300 Cal-Tech students. Their mean
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score was 34. The mean score at Roble Hall was 50.
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Male Only
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____ ____
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Have you ever:
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1. Measured yourself?
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2. Fondled a girl's breast through clothing?
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3. Unfastened a brassiere?
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4. Had an erection for more than an hour and done nothing about it?
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5. Fondled a girl's bare breast?
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6. Sucked a nipple (not your own) subsequent to weaning?
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7. Unfastened a bra with one hand?
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8. Fingered a vagina?
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9. Been aroused by seeing or touching underwear (by itself)?
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10. Told someone else your size? (Not necessarily truthfully)
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11. Masturbated in 6 or more buildings on campus?
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12. Made an obscene phone call?
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13. Made a girl pregnant?
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Female Only
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______ ____
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Have you ever:
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1. Had your covered breast fondled by a guy?
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2. Had a bare breast fondled by a guy?
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(1/2 point if it was for medical reasons but you enjoyed it anyway.)
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3. Gone braless in public since needing to wear a bra?
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4. Placed your hand inside a guy's pants or pants pocket?
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5. Told a guy when your period is? (Not necessarily truthfully)
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6. Placed a guy's hand on your breast?
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7. Been on the Pill?
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8. Worried about a late period?
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9. Intentionally increased the real or apparent size of your breasts?
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10. Become Pregnant?
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11. Had an abortion?
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12. Become pregnant and been uncertain about who the father was?
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13. Tried to lifted six men?
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Everybody
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Have you ever:
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14. Been Horny? (If not, Read on)
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15. Been on a date?
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16. Kissed a non-relative?
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17. Read soft pornography? (Playboy, Hot Throbbing Rivet, etc.)
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18. Masturbated?
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19. Told a dirty joke?
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20. Slept nude?
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21. Experienced premarital interdigitation?
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22. Given anyone the Finger?
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23. Seen a pornographic movie?
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24. Masturbated while standing up?
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25. Had an orgasm while asleep?
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26. Masturbated using literature?
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27. Stayed out passed 3 A.M. with a member of the opposite sex?
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28. Been massaged or given a massage to a member of the opposite sex?
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29. Masturbated three or more times in a given 24-hour period?
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30. Pinched or patted an ass?
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31. French kissed?
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32. Asked someone if they were horny?
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33. Shouted the word "FUCK" at the top of your lungs?
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34. Masturbated without using YOUR hands?
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35. Undress or been undressed by a member of the opposite sex?
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36. Gotten ideas for things to do from a purity test?
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37. Had your genitals fondled?
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38. Simulated intercourse without penetration?
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39. Exchanged (in conversation) sexual experiences with a member of the
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opposite sex?
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40. Bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen a contraceptive?
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41. Watched, with interest, two animals having intercourse? (Other
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than human)
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42. Had sexual intercourse?
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43. Planned or attempted a seduction?
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44. Spent the night in bed with a member of the opposite sex?
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45. Read hard pornography? (Screw, Orgasm, Moosey-Goosey, ect.)
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46. Been manually stimulated to climax by a member of the opposite sex?
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47. Had your genitals kissed?
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48. Bathed or showered with a member of the opposite sex?
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49. Had intercourse more than twice in the same night?
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50. Tasted semen?
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51. Had intercourse with a female superior?
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52. Had intercourse in Roble or with another Robleite?
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53. Been interrupted during sexual activity by a third person and not been
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embarrassed?
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54. Had intercourse during menstruation? (the girl's stupid)
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55. Fingered an anus? (not your own)
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56. Written something obscene on a wall?
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57. Been stimulated by reading stories or descriptions of torture?
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58. Had intercourse without using contraceptives? (both stupid)
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59. Helped produce pornography? (posed for pictures, taken pictures, written
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stories, etc.)
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60. Had intercourse with someone while fantasizing that they were someone
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else?
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61. Had intercourse rear entrance?
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62. Had intercourse standing up?
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63. Been on a date with someone more than 5 years younger or older than
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yourself?
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64. Gotten a sexual partner hot and then dropped them?
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65. Had intercourse without removing any clothing?
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66. Consulted a doctor or nurse about a sex problem of a non-physiological
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nature?
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67. Explained to a prepubescent child (not a Frosh.) where babies come from?
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68. Used alcohol or drugs to lower someone's resistance to sexual activity?
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69. ???
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70. Told a member of the opposite sex that you loved them and been lying
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through your teeth?
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71. Participated in group sexual activity? (> 2 people)
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72. Simulated intercourse between the woman's breasts?
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73. Had separate dates with three or more members of the opposite sex in
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a given 72-hour period?
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74. Streaked or flashed?
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75. Had intercourse on the first date?
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76. Had intercourse while swimming?
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77. Masturbated using devices? (vibrators, inflatable women, toy train
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transformers, refrigerators, etc.)
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78. Lived for three months or more with a member of the opposite sex? (not
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a relative)
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79. Obtained a hotel or motel room for sexual purposes?
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80. Had intercourse while drunk or stoned or with someone who was drunk or
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stoned?
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(Yes, all four...McQ)
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81. Had intercourse in a car?
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82. Been a transvestitie?
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83. Drawn blood from a person or had blood drawn from you during sexual
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activity?
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84. Had intercourse on a waterbed? (Get sea sick?)
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85. Had intercourse with someone more than five years older or younger than
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Yourself?
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86. Had intercourse with someone engaged to someone else?
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87. Had intercourse with more than four persons? (not simultaneously)
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88. Had intercourse with someone you didn't really like personally at the
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time?
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89. Had intercourse with someone married to someone else?
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90. Had anal intercourse?
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91. Had intercourse with an animal other than a human? (1/2 point for a
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resident of Wilbur or Stern)
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92. Gotten engaged without the intention of getting married, or gotten married
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with the intention of getting divorced?
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93. Had intercourse with someone you never saw before or after?
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94. Been to a house of prostitution?
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95. Used a vibrator or related device to stimulate others?
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96. Had intercourse against the other person's will?
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97. Provided sex in return for money? (See 94)
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98. Had intercourse with a relative?
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99. Had a veneral disease?
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100. Knowingly given someone a venereal disease?
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THE McCORQUODALE TEST
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___ ____________ ____
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1. Would you kick him/her out of bed?
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2. Is he/she better than self-abuse?
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A member of the opposite sex to whom a "no" answer to 1. and a "yes" answer to
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2. may be applied, is said to pass the McCorquodale test.
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EXTRA CREDIT
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_____ ______
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Male Only
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Have you ever:
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Done pushups without using your hands or fingers?
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Had intercourse with a gopher hole?
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Been Castrated by a gopher?
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Ejaculted off Mount Wilson? ("Hey Yaffe, I shot it a mile!")
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Beaten off into a blue book and turned it in?
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--within the time limit of the exam?
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--and received a blue slip that was similarly treated?
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Masturbated in more than six States of the Union, or in four States at once?
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Female Only
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Have you ever:
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Given yourself a Coca-Cola douche?
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Orange Crush? Vernors?
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Giggled upon seeing a banana?
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Or upon reading this question?
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How about knockwurst?
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Had anal intercourse followed by fellatio, and enjoyed it?
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Tried to suck your own nipple?
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Kicked a guy in the groin?
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Had intercourse with 2 guys simultaneously? (separate orifices)
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Fallen asleep during intercourse?
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Been stimulated by rope climbing?
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By horse riding?
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Purchased anything from Mark Eden?
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Everybody
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Have you ever:
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Had your ass sandblasted?
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Sniffed a bicycle seat?
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Given someone an enema?
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Lied about your score on this test?
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Lied about your answer to this question? (Wait a minute...)
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Had intercourse with a male or female BNC connector or banana plug?
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Bitten an ass?
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Had intercourse in free fall?
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Had intercourse while reading this test to see what questions you were
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missing?
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Played doctor with someone more than 10 years younger than yourself?
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Attempted self-fellatio? succeeded?
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Looked up the word "smegma" in the dictionary?
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Masturbated and been bored? (If this isn't depravity, I don't know what is.)
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Stuck your finger in a dyke?
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Participated in a gang bang? (firecrackers in the housing office do not
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count)
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Ordered a Linda Lovelace sandwich at Stottlemeyer's and asked them to hold
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the nuts?
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Hidden in the room while your roommate had intercourse?
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Practiced Coitus Interruptus? (This is not a Glee Club Song)
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Been in a come race?
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Been aroused by reading this test?
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Streaked while covering your face and been recognized anyways?
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Participated in an interhouse erection?
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Put a food substance on a sexual partner and eaten it?
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Had a vagina around your neck?
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THE MEMORIAL SECTION
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___ ________ _______
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Arthur "House Union Jack" Baron Ellis Memorial
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______ ______ _____ _____ _____ _____ ________
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Have you had sex in 48 States of the Union?
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Ioannis Nicoloas Kessides Memorial
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_______ ________ ________ ________
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Have you ever told a sheep that you loved it?
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James Ellis Kleckner Memorial
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_____ _____ ________ ________
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Have you ever had intercourse on a
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waterbed and burst it at the moment
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of climax?
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Douglas Steven Jones Memorial
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_______ ______ _____ ________
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Have you ever had intercourse in Alley 1.5
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Robert Stanley Pfeiffer Memorial
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______ _______ ________ ________
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Have you ever masturbated while staring at a mirror?
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Laurence Gregory Yaffe Memorial
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________ _______ _____ ________
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Have you ever gotten it over the stall door?
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Cindy Lee Duckett Memorial
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_____ ___ _______ ________
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Have you ever had sexual intercourse in the housing office?
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Albert Lewis Wells Jr. Memorial
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______ _____ _____ ___ ________
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Have you ever inflated a condom at a house dinner?
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James Alexander McCorquodale Memorial
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_____ _________ ____________ ________
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Have you ever beaten off during a math lecture?
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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