86 lines
4.2 KiB
Plaintext
86 lines
4.2 KiB
Plaintext
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Courtesy of The Cemetery 305-442-0244
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: Murphy's Laws of Sex :
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:========================:
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The Cemetery BBS -- 305-285-9552
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1. The more beautifull the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave
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her with no hard feelings.
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2. Nothing improves with age.
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3. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because
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it'll never be quite the same again.
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4. Sex has no calories.
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5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amout of
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trouble.
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6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
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7. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
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8. No sex with anyone in the same office.
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9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or
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how long it is going to last.
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10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
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11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
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12. Virginity can be cured.
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13. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening
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to him.
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14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
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15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same
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ones she can't stand years later.
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16. Sex is dirty on if it's done right.
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17. It is always the wrong time of the month.
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18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
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19. When the lights are out, all woman are beautiful.
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20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't
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either.
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21. Sow your wild oats on saturday night -- then on sunday pray for crop
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failure.
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22. The younger the better.
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23. The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
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24. It is not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused
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the trouble in the garden.
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25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
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26. B4 I 4Q R U 18?
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27. Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
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28. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex.
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But there is nothing exactly like sex.
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29. Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
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30. Love is a hole in the heart.
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31. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our
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space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
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32. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of of physics.
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33. Do it only with the best.
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34. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter
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words to convey its full meaning.
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35. One good turn gets most of the blankets.
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36. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine woman.
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37. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
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38. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
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39. Thou shalt not commit adultry.... unless in the mood.
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40. Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
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41. Abstain from wine, woman, and song; mostly song.
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42. Never ague with a woman when she's tired -- or rested.
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43. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the woman he
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couldn't.
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44. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
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45. It is better to be looked over than over looked.
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46. Never say no.
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47. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
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48. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
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49. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
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50. Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
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51. A man is only a man, But a good bicycle is a ride.
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52. Love comes in spurts.
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53. The world does not revolve on an axis.
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54. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are
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unimportant.
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55. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
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56. Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
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57. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in
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love.
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58. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
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59. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
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60. 'This won't hurt I promise.'
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Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
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