65 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
65 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
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WHY THEY'RE CALLED FILIPINOS
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(Editor's Note: The following may be deemed racist by certain readers. If you
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are certainly a certain reader to whom this piece appears racist, well, sorry.
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If you're a Filipino, we think you're cute.)
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Even in the echoing halls of government, Filipinos wear sport shirts and
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jackets. On TV last week, during the heist of the Marcos government, it looked
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like everyone had just come off the golf course to conduct a little bit of
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casual government business like, say, a revolution.
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Compared with the Filipinos we saw on TV, even the laid-backest of Californians
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would look like a Type A workaholic, for sure you know?
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Look how Filipinos conducted their revolution! Did they shoot each other up?
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Was the revolution protracted and angry? Are we kidding?
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Marcos' tanks, rolling through the streets of Manila, obeyed traffic signals.
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Citizens, rampaging through his palace, changed their minds and deposited loot
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at the door before leaving. Was there an effigy dangling from a streetlamp?
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If so, we didn't see it and it probably had its shirt tail tucked in.
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Is the new government going after Marcos with venegance? Absolutely--by
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Filipino standards. Corazon Aquino herself appointed a Minister of Good
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Government to go over the books. The Minister will probably cut Marcos'
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pension or something equally strident.
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All of this, while amusing, points out how civilized people of the Philippines
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are, compared with almost any other nation. Can the South Africans solve their
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racial problems so peacefully? No. Could the U.S. settle its civil rights
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problems so efficiently? Uh-uh, no way. Was Baby Doc DuValier kicked out of
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Haiti with such grace?
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Philippine political tactics may not be sweet, but, compared with Chicago for
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instance, even the reports of widespread tampering pale. And, although Cory
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Aquino's new government is not exactly constitutionally kosher, it is being
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quickly recognized by other nations simply because Filipinos are so nice.
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Nice.
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A member of our domestic federal government, George Shultz, called the change
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in government a dramatic example of the democratic process, and it was. Look:
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Marcos called the elections a couple of months in advance, did his best to
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manipulate it to his advantage, won but lost the confidence of the electorate
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and therefore lost and left the country.
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Compare that dramatic example with U.S. presidential elections: Democrats
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fight with other Democrats for 18 months--likewise the Republicans. Then,
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Republicans and Democrats fight with each other for four months. If the wrong
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candidate wins by losing he wins anyway and stays in office without even
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thinking about giving the winning loser a vacation in Hawaii. Ex-presidents
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stay on the payroll for life instead of being conveniently exiled to another
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country.
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Wouldn't you have felt better if Nixon or Carter had been exiled?
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We personally know a few Filipinos living in America and they are among our
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treasured acquaintances. Were they up in arms about the turmoil in their
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homeland? We called the other day and heard their phone-answering machine say:
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"We're not home right now but leave a message and we'll call you right back.
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Oh, by the way, we support Corazon Aquino as the duly elected leader of our
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country, but when Ferdy calls in a couple of weeks we'll probably have him over
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for Bar-b-que. Beep!"
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