103 lines
5.0 KiB
Plaintext
103 lines
5.0 KiB
Plaintext
|
---------------------------------------
|
|||
|
|
Documentation on the English Language
|
|||
|
|
Written by The Doktor
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
In the course of using bulletin boards for the past several years, I've come
|
|||
|
|
to some definite conclusions about the type of people who roam these electronic
|
|||
|
|
highways, and in particular the national BBS scene:
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
1. The most active pirates/phreaks are 13-15 years old.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
2. Although many of them are really nice people, very few can write correct
|
|||
|
|
English.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I have no idea whether the latter problem is caused by the former, but after
|
|||
|
|
reading nearly one hundred articles that are widely distributed on national
|
|||
|
|
bulletin boards, I've decided to do something to help solve the problem. In
|
|||
|
|
this tutorial I've attempted to put forth some of the most fundamental rules of
|
|||
|
|
English so that even the worst aspiring writers can at least avoid some of the
|
|||
|
|
most embarrassing kinds of typos.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
BEFORE YOU ABORT THIS ARTICLE please hear me out. I'm not trying to rag on
|
|||
|
|
thirteen year-olds and I'm not seriously playing English teacher. All I'm
|
|||
|
|
trying to do is upgrade the quality of communication around here. It would also
|
|||
|
|
be nice if I didn't have to run every file I downloaded through a spelling
|
|||
|
|
checker and a word processor to remove the most childish and embarrassing typos.
|
|||
|
|
I won't even attempt to teach you good writing style (I'm still working on that
|
|||
|
|
myself) but perhaps I can show you how to write a grammatically correct
|
|||
|
|
T-File...
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
* * *
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Deadly Sins:
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
* Forgetting the apostrophe (') in contractions: dont -> don't, cant -> can't
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
* Confusing TO, TOO and TWO. Although most BBS'ers know how to use TWO,
|
|||
|
|
confusion still reigns supreme on use of the others. To summarize:
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
*Distinguish between the preposition TO from the adverb TOO and the numeral
|
|||
|
|
TWO. If it isn't too cold, I will take my two poodles to the park."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
*Remember, TOO refers to a matter of degree. "This tutorial is TOO much."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
* Confusing OUR and ARE. They may sound quite alike, but OUR is an adjective.
|
|||
|
|
Don't ever be caught writing, "Save are sanity!"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
* It's and its are two different words. It's is a contraction of IT IS, while
|
|||
|
|
its in a possessive in
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
the style of OURS.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
* Misspellings. In this computer age of spelling checkers and massive
|
|||
|
|
software piracy, most of us should have access to a spelling checker. If you
|
|||
|
|
do, use it. If not, do it the old-fashioned way: proofread what you write.
|
|||
|
|
Remember that if you write a text file and it is posted on a board such as The
|
|||
|
|
Safehouse, hundreds, perhaps thousands will read it. At that point, you might
|
|||
|
|
as well be a published author; and you should attempt to meet publishing
|
|||
|
|
standards for grammar and spelling.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
If these rules would be observed by every person who used a BBS, I would die a
|
|||
|
|
happy man. However, here are some more miscellaneous rules and considerations
|
|||
|
|
for those of you who intend to write text files for posting. Most are rules for
|
|||
|
|
typing.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
* Indent each paragraph five spaces. Three is commonly used for bookprint,
|
|||
|
|
but Hodges' Harbrace College Handbook says to use five. I'm with Hodge.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
* Use one space after a comma and two after a period or other mark of definite
|
|||
|
|
punctuation.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
* Go easy on the hyphen (-).
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
* Try to express your thoughts in complete sentences. What is a complete
|
|||
|
|
sentence? According to common usage, it is ONE complete thought beginning with
|
|||
|
|
a capital letter and ending with a mark of definite punctuation.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
* Whenever possible, format your text files for something like seventy
|
|||
|
|
columns, lowercase. Why? By now, most people can display lowercase characters,
|
|||
|
|
so let's use them. Most of us also print our files, thus the long carriage
|
|||
|
|
width. I prefer seventy columns over eighty as a seventy column page can be
|
|||
|
|
printed leaving proper margins to either side. In addition, these files can be
|
|||
|
|
read by a standard word processor without reformatting.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
* A personal note which I don't doubt will be disregarded: Folks, L8R0N and
|
|||
|
|
its ilk are silly. Yes, silly. So are embedded text graphics and signing your
|
|||
|
|
name to a letter using ten lines of text graphics.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
* Lastly, a word on "Standard Pirate" usage of certain terms: PHreak and
|
|||
|
|
PHile are spelled as such as both presumably have something to do with the
|
|||
|
|
PHone. If a PHile does not have to do with PHreaking, it should be spelled with
|
|||
|
|
an F. Crack and krack are used interchangeably, although I prefer crack.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
That's all for now. If any of you find errors in this text, feel free to
|
|||
|
|
report them to me, gloating as appropriate. An open sneer is appropo for
|
|||
|
|
misspellings or personal violation of any of the "Deadly Sins" mentioned above,
|
|||
|
|
while an air of haughty snobbishness is all you get to use if I've broken any
|
|||
|
|
other rules of good writing.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
-The Doktor, January 8, 1985 (Yes, I'm the same one who put the verse of T.S.
|
|||
|
|
Elliot on his crack of Firebug).
|
|||
|
|
---------------------------------------
|
|||
|
|
Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
|
|||
|
|
|