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2021-04-15 11:31:59 -07:00
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D.K.K. Labs present....
=<How To Make A Genuine Phone Tap>=
By: Jello Biafra
I know all you major phone tappers are probably all sitting there going
"Oooooo! Ahhhhh!" and I know what you're saying... but this is for the
guys/girls who have some electrical knowledge, but not enough to put some-
thing together by themselves...(like this, anyway.)
Here we go.
I: THE BEIGE BOX
Also commonly referred to as the "Bud Box". This is extremely simple to
construct, and doesn't take much time.
First, get about a 12 foot phone cord. Regular. They cost about uh...$2.50
at K-Mart or something. Second, cut off one of the ends of it. (ie, cut the
little plastic thingy off). Third, cut some of the plastic stuff off; like
get a razor blade and cut it, but don't cut the wires inside. (Very tricky).
Fourth, when you see the wires inside, there should be a red, a green, a
yellow, and a black. Ignore the yellow and black. In fact, cut them off. Now
strip some of the little red and green plastic off. (Yes, with your razor
blade). Now get out your soldering gun! (Oh, did i forget to mention that?)
Now, get some solder and some alligator clips. (Available at Radio Shack for
about $1.10 for 10 of them). Now solder the green wire to one clip, and the
red to another.
Simple? You've finished your first phone 'tap'. Now, grab your fone, (ie,
the receiver), and head outside.
In your backyard, there should be a silver box with "BELL" written on it.
They're not that hard to find, usually, you can just look up at the telephone
poll and there are wires leading down. Anyway--pop off the little box. If it
doesn't budge, go grab a screwdriver. Now unscrew the big screw at the bottom
of the box. NOW pop it off. There should be screws and wires that look some-
thing like this:
*(red wire) *(green wire)
*(screw)
*(yellow) *(black)
Or something along those lines. The little asteriks are screws. Usually,
(at least around my neighborhood), the green alligator clip goes to the green
screw, and the red to the red. It could be different, however, so switch them
around if needed. I don't think the bottom screws are ever needed, unless the
house has another separate fone line. And be careful! I got shocked once, and
it wasn't very phun..
Alright, so that's basic, and it's very easy to get caught with, so don't
try it unless your neighbors aren't going to be home for a long time, or are
on vacation. A neato nifty thing to do is to stick an automatic recorder in
their little box. (When i say 'their', I am referring to your victim's).
They're available at Radio Shack for $19. Pretty steep unless you're a rich
kid, which i'm not, but that's another story. So, you rip one off. (Haha,
joke... I do NOT condone stealing things). Ok, so anyway, you buy one from
Radio Shack for $19, use it until you don't need it anymore (up to 30 days,
usually), and then take it back... if it's in good condition. Anyway (for
the 4th time), you get a microcassette recorder (you can buy mine!) and
stick your little contraption in the silver Bell box. Then the recording
will start when they pick up the fone, and stop automatically when they're
done. Just make sure your neighbors don't check their Bell box often.
(And *REMEMBER*, the fine for evesdropping is 5 years and $10,000.. the
CHOICE is YOURS... hehehehe).
II: WIRELESS TRANSMITTER PLANS
This is a transmitter that consists on a one colpitts oscillator that
takes its power from the fone line. Since the resistance it puts on the
line is less that 100 ohms, it has no effect on the telephone performance,
and can't be detected by your neighbors or Ma Bell. Since it's a low-powered
device that doesn't use an antenna for radiation, it is legal to the FCC...
BUT--Not legal for what we're going to do with it!
What it does, is use four diodes to form a bridge rectifier. It produces
a varying DC voltage varying with the auto-signals on the line. That voltage
is used to supply the voltage for the oscillator transistor. Which is
connected to a radio circuit. From there, you can tune it to any channel you
want. The rest will be explained inn text.
PARTS LIST
Item Description
===========================================================================
C1 47-PF CERAMIC DISK CAPACITOR
C2,C3 27-PF MICA CAPACITOR
CR1, CR2, CR3, CR4 GERMANIUM DIODE 1N90 OR EQUIVALENT
R1 100 OHM, 1/4 WATT 10% COMPOSITION RESISTOR
R2 10K, 1/4 WATT 10% COMPOSITION RESISTOR
R3 .7K, 1/4 WATT "" ""
L1 2 UH RADIO FREQUENCY CHOKE (SEE TEXT)
L2 5 TURNS NO. 20 WIRE (SEE TEXT)
Q1 NPN RF TRANSISTOR 2N5179 OR EQUIVALENT
==========================================================================
L1 may be constructed by winding approx. 40 turns of No. 36 enamel wire
on a mega-ohm, 1/2 watt resistor. The value of L1 is not critical. L2 can be
made by wrapping 5 turns of No. 20 wire around a 1/4 inch form. After the wire
is wrapped, the form can be removed. Just solder it into place on the circuit
board. It should hold quite nicely. Also be sure to position Q1 so that the
emitter, base, and collector are in the proper hols. The schematic should be
pretty easy to follw. Although it has an unusual number of grounds, it still
works.
-----------------L1--------------------
--
CR1/ \CR2 -------------------
A-----------------/ \ -- ----
\ / C2 L2
CR3\ /CR4 C1 R2 ----
R1 -- GND C3
---- ----
GND ---------BASE COLLECTOR
R3 \ /
B---------------------------- \/\ <-Q1
GND \/
EMITTER (GND)
Ok, now go to the box, remove the red wire that was already on Screw 1,
and attach it to wire "A" of the bug. Then attach wire "B" to the screw
itself. You can adjust the frequency which it comes out on the FM channel
by either smashing, or widening thec coils of L2. It takes a few minutes to
get to work right, but it is also very versatile. You can change the frequen-
cy at will, and you can easily record off your radio.
------------------------------------------
Ok, that's about it for now. My fingers hurt.
I would just like to admit that I did steal
most everything of the "Wireless Transmitter
Plans" from The Overlord, from Phrack Vol. 1,
Issue 3, Phile #5, of 10. (Hey, put it this
way, I wouldn't have borrowed it if it wasn't
any good, now would I?) That's it. Have phun, don't
abuse, and you'll be alright.
------------------------------------------
Call the Dark Side of The Moon AE/BBS
(408) 245-7726
Chow.
7:51 pm PST
11/02/86
Cmd:
Ctrl-S to Stop/Start Ctrl-C to Cancel
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
- -
- -
- The Pirates' Den 1200 AE List -
- [December 23, 1986] -
- Created by: Masked Marauder of The Legion -
- -
- The Yacht Club |1200/2400|Ind. PW...[HOME OF THE LEGION!]...717-273-6704 -
- The Retreat AE |1200 only|Ind. PW...........................305-288-4869 -
- -
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Sorry about the long delay between lists but I've been busy lately.
Hopefully it'll be a matter of days (not weeks) until the next list. If
you have any corrections/additions/deletions drop me a note The Yacht Club.
Codes:
C-Carrier Detected
B-Busy when I called
W-Weak Handshake - Couldn't Connect
R-Rang Forever - Will be rechecked later.
AE-Ascii Express Supported
MT-Mousetalk Supported
CF-Car-Fur Supported
AET-AE:Tac Used
AEP-AE Prodos Used
BBS-BBS Used
Number Password Code/Type Comments
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
- -
- 201-221-9006 Ind. C AE/BBS The Electronic Basement-10mg-3/1200 -
- 201-255-2132 TAZ B AE ????-10mg -
- 201-256-4202 Ind. C AE/CF/BBS Trade Center-20mg -
- 201-330-9104 Ind. C AET The Falcon's Lair-20mg-1200/2400 -
- 201-398-2953 Ind. C AE/BBS Upside Down-20mg (No New Users) -
- 201-460-3470 No P/W C AE Fly by Night AE-2dr -
- 201-697-4825 Ind. C AE/CF/BBS Byte Bastard BBS-10mg-300/1200 -
- 201-838-5138 Ind. C AE/CF/BBS Heart of Gold-10mg-300/1200 -
- 201-867-5031 No P/W C AE Da Cave AE-1mg -
- 201-879-6668 KILL C AE Metal AE-4dr -
- 203-236-1777 T/P/ Ind. C AE The Assembly Line-20mg -
- 203-746-2570 Ind. C AE/BBS Abode ][ Elite-40mg-300/1200 -
- 206-838-7686 Ind. C AE/BBS Shooting Star-20mg-300/1200 -
- 206-943-3229 No P/W C AE Hyboria-4 dr -
- 208-384-5569 Ind. C AET Altered States AE-20mg-300/1200 -
- 209-474-0868 Ind. C AET Warehouse-40mg -
- 209-957-7372 Ind. C AE/BBS The Mystic-20mg-300/1200 -
- 213-493-2011 Ind. C AE/CF/BBS The Citadel-20mg -
- 215-488-6019 Ind. C AE/CF/BBS Exchange Password-10mg-300/1200 -
- 215-647-5384 Ind. C AET The Pirate Zone-1.2mg -
- 215-843-9193 CASHIT C AEP The Wall Street AE-20mg -
- 215-886-6105 MAGIC W AE The Magical Tavern-?-300/1200 -
- 216-235-6613 Ind. C AE/BBS S.O.B-10mg-3/12/2400 (No New Users) -
- 216-267-2938 Ind. C AE/BBS The Dock-20mg-300/1200/2400 -
- 218-724-4210 Ind. W AE/BBS The Vault-4 dr-300/1200 -
- 219-422-6305 Ind. B Secret Service-3 dr-300/1200 -
- 301-661-9355 Ind. C AE/BBS The Weather Station-?-300/1200 -
- 305-229-9508 No P/W C AET Humidity Plus-1mg -
- 305-288-4869 APL/Ind. C MT The Retreat-3dr (Cool Sysop) -
- 305-395-6906 Ind. C AE/CF/BBS Digital Logic Data Service-10mg-3/12 -
- 305-556-6858 Ind. C AE/BBS Apple Tree //-10mg -
- 305-777-8365 No P/W/Ind. C AET The Connection-10mg-300/1200 -
- 305-898-5649 Ind. C AE/BBS S.E. Connection-20mg -
- 309-662-0779 Ind. C AET The Pretzel Board-10mg -
- 312-234-6237 Ind. C AE/BBS Hotel California-?mg-300/1200 -
- 312-395-9456 Ind. C AE/BBS The Infocomatium-30mg-300/1200/2400 -
- 312-432-6964 Ind. C AE/BBS Wizard's Guild-300/1200 -
- 312-528-5020 Ind. C AE/BBS Ripco-40mg-300/1200/2400 -
- 312-654-2918 Ind. B AET The Quarterdeck-8 dr-300/1200 -
- 312-699-7482 Ind. C AET The Challenger-5 dr-300/1200 -
- 312-724-0807 Ind. C AE/BBS Bullwinkle's Bar-1.3mg-300/1200 -
- 312-759-1916 Ind. C AET Silver Tongue-5 dr -
- 312-848-3394 Ind. B The Cemetary-300/1200 -
- 312-870-7875 Ind. C AET Metal Shop-2 dr-300/1200 -
- 312-934-4637 Ind. B Shady Vale Inn-10mg -
- 313-295-4397 Ind. B AET The Trivial AE-20mg-300/1200 -
- 313-591-1024 Ind. C AE/CF/BBS Red-A-Sector-20mg-300/1200 -
- 314-427-0983 Ind. C AET Escort-10mg -
- 314-527-5551 Ind. R AE/CF/BBS Kleptic Palace-10mg -
- 402-464-7952 Ind. C AE/BBS Solomon's Mine-5mg-1200/2400 -
- 403-456-0974 Ind. C AET/BBS Canadien Conn.-10mg-4 pm:8 am -
- 403-466-6187 Ind. C AET The Northern Link-4 dr-3/1200-4pm:8am-
- 404-284-4859 Ind. B AE/BBS The Leeches Palace-10mg -
- 404-299-0302 Ind. B AE/BBS Video Castle-20mg-1200/2400 -
- 404-327-2327 Ind. B AE/BBS Metalland South-20mg -
- 404-394-8265 Ind. C AE/BBS Ground Zero-20mg-1200/2400 -
- 404-449-5986 Ind. C AE/BBS Atlanta Crackers-40mg-1200/2400 -
- 404-487-4059 Ind. R AE/BBS Peachtree Syndicate-60mg-1200/2400 -
- 404-932-2233 Ind. R AE/BBS Forbidden Zone-20mg-300/1200 -
- 408-245-7726 No P/W B AE Dark Side-10mg-300/1200 (All T-Files)-
- 408-257-3174 Ind. C AE/CF/BBS Gold Mine-80mg -
- 408-429-8562 TURKEY B AE The Arena AE-20mg-1200/2400 -
- 414-449-5010 Ind. C AET The Ghetto-6 dr -
- 415-873-3840 RATT/Ind. C AET Rattpak AE-11mg-300/1200 -
- 415-961-9337 No P/W B Rogue's Gallery-5mg-300/1200 -
- 415-969-5673 Ind. B AE/CF/BBS Lord's Domain-10mg-300/1200 -
- 502-245-8270 Ind. C AE/BBS Fifth Precinct-20mg-300/1200 -
- 503-657-1759 Ind. B AET Ware Brigade-?-300/1200 -
- 503-684-0548 Ind. B Phreak House-10mg-300/1200 -
- 504-291-5690 Ind. B AE/CF/BBS Light House-10mg-300/1200 -
- 504-774-7126 Ind. C AE/CF/BBS Pitstop-10mg-300/1200 -
- 504-831-4348 SANITY B Insane Asylum-3 dr-300/1200 -
- 505-275-0110 SIXX/Ind. C AET Binary Sixx-20mg-300/1200 -
- 505-434-0381 Ind. C AE/CF/BBS The Foundation-10mg -
- 505-865-0883 CICADA/Ind. C AET Terrapin Station-3 dr-300/1200 -
- 512-229-1080 Ind. B Cygnus-10mg-300/1200 -
- 513-832-1938 Ind. R AET Shawdow Keep AE-3 dr -
- 515-294-3977 Ind. C AET M.A.D.-40mg -
- 516-221-4450 Ind. B Motherboard Elite-30mg -
- 516-579-6380 Ind. C AET The Realm-20mg-300/1200/2400 -
- 518-563-2383 Ind. C AET The Molder's Lair-3dr -
- 602-577-1051 Ind. B AE/BBS Underground-10mg -
- 606-271-2156 Ind. B AET Power Source AE-11mg-300/1200 -
- 606-272-2241 Ind. B Dead Body Outline-20mg-300/1200 -
- 606-291-6502 Ind. C AE/BBS Blue Chip Exchange-20mg -
- 609-921-1994 Ind. B AE/BBS Milliway's-10mg-1200/2400 -
- 615-983-8232 Ind. C AE/BBS The Disk Fix-20mg-3/12-6 am:6 pm -
- 617-849-0975 Ind. C AE/BBS The Universe Elite-10mg (Cool Sysop) -
- 703-639-4937 GUEST/Ind. C AET Chaos Valley-10mg-3/12 -
- 703-922-6123 SPIRAL C AE The Reflex Tower AE-20mg-1200/2400 -
- 703-938-4174 WIRE C AE The Hotwire AE Line-3dr -
- 713-690-3918 Ind. B AE/CF/BBS Hobbit's Hideaway-20mg -
- 713-729-5100 No P/W B AE Big Boobs #1-10mg-1200/2400 -
- 713-896-0472 No P/W C AE/CF Big Boobs #2-40mg-1200/2400 -
- 714-472-8241 Ind. B Asylum ][-20mg -
- 714-877-3044 Ind. B AE/BBS The Dungeon-10mg -
- 717-273-6704 Ind. C AE/BBS The Yacht Club-20mg-1200/2400 -
- 804-737-2432 Ind. C AE/CF/BBS Fishing Hole-10mg -
- 805-984-3547 Ind. C AE/BBS Down the Rabbit Hole-10mg -
- 815-838-5464 Ind. B AET Mainflow AE-10mg-1200/2400 -
- 818-447-2548 Ind. R AE/CF/BBS Contact Point-20mg -
- 818-957-0347 NEW C AE Glendale Private Library-20mg -
- 818-981-4230 Ind. B AE/BBS Golden Disk-20mg-300/2400 -
- 913-262-5155 Ind. C AET Ray's AE-20mg-1200/2400 -
- 914-591-9285 EXEC C AE The Conference Center-20mg -
- 914-623-1471 Ind. B AE/CF/BBS Apple Pit I-10mg-300/1200 -
- 914-698-5965 Ind. C AE/CF/BBS Circus Maximus-20mg -
- 915-694-0004 Ind. B AE/BBS Crowley Manor-10mg-300/1200 -
- 915-694-9379 Ind. B AE/BBS Crowley Manor (Line #2) -
- 919-489-6890 Ind. C AE/CF/BBS Panopticon Center-10mg -
- -
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
(>ttop/start text >]
Uploaded by Temporal Demon to
Digital Logic's Data Service
[305-395-6906]
**************************************
* *
* GOLD BOX PLANS *
* BB *
* DR. REVENGE *
* ___________ *
* *
* COSYSOP OF MODEM MADNESS *
* 516-569-0589 *
* *
* MR. SPOCK *
* *
* THE SYSOP *
* *
**************************************
WARNING: THESE ARE PRELIMINARY PLANS, AND ONLY WORK IN SOME AREAS.
I WILL SOON POST THE NEW PLANS THAT WORK ANYWHERE IN THE
UNITED STATES. LOOK FOR IT ON MODEM MADNESS (516)-569-0589
WHAT IT DOES
____________
WHEN YOU PUT A GOLD BOX ON TWO PHONE LINES IT LETS ANYONE WHO CALLS ONE OF
THE LINES CALL OUT ON THE OTHER. SO WHEN MCI OR SPRINT TRACES THE LINE IT WILL
TELL THEM THAT YOU ARE CALLING FROM THE LINE YOU HOOKED THE GOLD BOX UP TO.
THIS IS GREAT FOR HOOKING UP TO PAY PHONES. JUST THINK PHREAKING WITHOUT
THE HEART ATTACKS WHEN YOU HEAR A CLICK AND THE PHUN YOU CAN HAVE WITH A RED
BOX AND AT&T CALLING CARDS. JUST DON'T USE A BLUE BOX, CALL THE PRESIDENT AND
SAY YOU WANT TO KILL HIM, GOVERMENT COMPUTERS, OR ANYTHING THAT THEY TRACE BY
DECTING A TONE IN THE LINE. BUT YOU CAN STILL CALL THE OPERATOR AND ASK FOR
HER BRA SIZE OR IF SHE KNOWS WHAT A TRUNK TONE IS !!
HOW TO BUILD IT
_______________
YOU WILL NEED THE FOLLOWING:
TWO 10K OHM AND THREE 1.4K OHM RESISTOR
ES, TWO 2N3904 TRANSISTORS, TWO PHOTOCE
LLS, TWO RED LED'S (THE MORE LIGHT PROD
UCED THE BETTER), A BOX THAT WILL NOT L
ET LIGHT IN, AND RED AND GREEN WIRE.
LIGHT FROM THE #1 LED MUST SHING DIREC
TLY ON THE PHOTOCELL #1. THE GOLD BOX I
MAID NEEDED THE TOP OF THE LED'S TO TOU
CH THE PHOTOCELL FOR IT TO WORK.
THE SAME APPLIES TO THE #2 PHOTOCELL AN
D LED
1
:-PHOTOCELL--:
: :
: :BASE
: 1 TTTTT
: +LED- TRANSISTOR
: TTTTT
: : :
: -I(-- : :COLLECTOR
RED1--< >:--: :-------:-----GREEN2
-I(-- : ----------:
: :
2 :-/+/+/-/+/+/-/+/+/-/+/+/
LED 10K 10K 1.4K 1.4K
RESISTORES
2
-PHOTOCELL-----------------
: :
:BASE :
TTTTT :
TRANSISTOR :
TTTTT :
: :EMITTER :
GREEN1- --------------------------RED2
: :
/+/+/
1.4K
THE 1.4K RESISTOR IS VERIABLE AND IF TH
E SECCOND PART OF THE GOLD BOX IS SKIPPE
D IT WILL STILL WORK BUT WHEN SOMEONE P
ICKS THE PHONE UP THEY WILL HEAR A FAIN
T DIAL TONE IN THE BACKGROUND AND MIGHT
REPORT IT TO THE GESTOPO ER...(AT&T).
1.4K WILL GIVE YOU GOOD RECEPTION WITH
LITTLE RISK OF A GESTOPO AGENT AT YOUR
DOOR.
NOW THAT YOU HAVE BUILT IT TAKE TWO
GREEN WIRES OF THE SAME LENTH STRIP THE
ENDS, TWIST TWO ENDS TOGETHER AND CONN
ECT THEM TO GREEN1 AND PLACE A PEICE OF
TAPE ON IT WITH LINE #1 WRITING ON IT.
CONTINUE THE PROCESS WITH RED1 ONLY US
E RED WIRE. REPEAT WITH RED2 AND GREEN2
BUT CHANGE TO LINE #2.
HOW TO INSTALL
______________
YOU WILL NEED TO FIND TWO PHONE LINE
S THAT ARE CLOSE TOGETHER. LABEL ONE OF
THE PHONES LINES LINE #1.CUT THE PHONE
LINES AND TAKE THE OUTER COUTING OFF I
T. THERE SHOULD BE 4 WIRES CUT THE YELL
OW AND BLACK WIRES OFF AND STRIP THE RE
D AND GREEN WIRES FOR BOTH LINES.
LINE #1 SHOULD BE IN TWO PEICES TAKE
THE GREEN WIRE OF ONE END AND CONNECT
IT TO THE ONE OF THE GREEN WIRES ON THE
GOLD BOX. TAKE THE OTHER HALF OF LINE #
1 AND HOOK THE FREE GREEN WIRE TO THE G
REEN WIRE ON THE PHONE LINE. REPEAT THE
PROCESS WITH RED1 AND THE OTHER LINE.
ALL YOU NEED TO DO NOW IS TO RIGHT D
OWN THE PHONE NUMBERS OF THE PLACE YOU
HOOKED IT UP AT AND GO HOME AND CALL IT
. YOU SHOULD GET A DIAL TONE!!!
IF NOT LEAVE ME A MESSAGE ON THE MODEM
MADNESS BBS 516-569-0589 OR TRY CHANGIN
G THE EMITTER WITH COLLECTOR.
OH AND HOOKING IT UP TO A PAYPHONE IS A
FEDERAL OFFENCE AND IS ILLEAGAL TO PUT
ON ANY PHONE. I RECOMMEND YOU SEE YOU
R LOCAL POLICE DEPARTMENT BEFORE DOING
ANYTHING SAID IN THIS ARTICLE. (HAHAHAH
A!!!!!!)
Cmd:
Ctrl-S to Stop/Start Ctrl-C to Cancel
--------------------------------------
Construction Project:
Atomic Bomb
-------------------------------------
The following paper is
taken from the Journal of
Irreproducible Results,
voluhe 25/number 4/1979-P.O.
Box 234 Chicago Heights,
Illinois 60411.
Dubscription's are 1 year for
$3.70
1. Introduction
Worldwide controversy has
been generated recently from
several court decisions in the
united states which have
restricted popular magazines
from printing articles which
describe how to make an atomic
bomb. The reason usually given
by the courts isthat national
security would be compromised
if such information were
generally available. But,
since it is commonly known that
all of the information is
publicly available in most
major metropolitan libraries,
obviously the court's
officially stated position is
covering up a more important
factor; namely, that such
atomic devices would prove too
difficult for the average
citizen to construct. The
United States courts cannot
afford to insult the vast
majorities by insinuating that
they do not have the
intelligence of a cabbage, and
thus the "official" press
releases claim national
security as a blanket
restriction.
The rumors that have
unfortunately occurred as a
result of widespread
misinformation can (and must)
be cleared up now, for the
construction project this month
is the construction of a
thermonuclear device, which
will hopefully clear up any
misconceptions you might have
about such a project. We will
see how easy it is to make a
device of your very own in ten
easy steps, to have and hold as
you see fit, without annoying
interference from the
government or the courts.
The project will cost
between $5,000 and $30,000
dollars, depending on how
fancy you want the final product
to be. Since last week's
column, "Let's make a
time machine", was received so
well in the new step-by-step
format, this month's column
will follow the same format.
2. Construction method
1. First, obtain about 50
pounds (110 kg) of weapons
grade plutonium at your local
supplier (see note 1). A
nuclear power plant is not
recommended, as large
quantities of missing plutonium
tends to make plant engineers
unhappy. We suggest that you
contact your local terrorist
organization, or perhaps the
junior achievement in your
neighborhood.
2. Please remember that
plutonium, especially pure,
refined plutonium, is somewhat
dangarous. Wash your hands
with soap and warm water after
handling the material, and
don't allow your children or
pets to play in it or eat it.
any left over plutonium dust is
excellent as an insect
repellant. You may wish to
keep the substance in a lead
box if you can find one in your
local junk yard, but an old
coffee can will do nicely.
3. Fashion together a metal
enclosure to house the device.
Most common varieties of sheet
metal can be bent to disguise
this enclosure as, for example,
a briefcase, a lunch pail, or a
buick. Do not use tinfoil.
4. Arrange the plutonium into
two hemispheral shapes,
separated by about 4 cm.
userubber cement to hold the
plutonium dust together.
gelignite is much better,
bit messier to work with. Your
helpful hardware man will be
happy to provide you with this
item.
6. Pack the TNT around the
hemisphere arrangement
constructed in step 4. If
you cannot find gelignite, feel
free to use tnt packed in with
playdo or any modeling clay.
colored clay is acceptable, but
there is no need to get fancy
at this point.
7. Enclose the structure from
step 6 into the enclosure made
in step 3. use a strong glue
such as "crazy glue" to bind
the hemisphere arrangement
against the enclosure to
prevent accidental detonation
which might result from
vibration or mishandling.
8. To detonate the device,
obtain a radio controlled (rc)
servo mechanism, as found in
RC model airplanes and cars.
with a minimum of effort, a
remote plunger can be made that
will strike a detonator cap to
effect a small explosion.
These detonator caps can be
found in the electrical supply
section of your local
supermarket. We recommend the
"Blast-O-Mactic" brand because
they are no deposit-no return.
9. Now hide the completed
device from the neighbors and
children. The garage is not
recommended because of high
humidity and the extreme range
of temperatures experienced
there. Nuclear devices have
been known to spontaneously
detonate in these unstable
conditions. The hall closet or
under the kitchen sink will be
perfectly suitable.
10. Now you are the proud
owner of a working
thermonuclear device! it is a
great ice-breaker at parties,
and in a pinch, can be used for
national defense.
3. Theory of Operation
The device basically works
when the detonated tnt
compresses the plutonium into a
critical mass. the critical
mass then produces a nuclear
chain reaction similar to the
domino chain reaction
(discussed in this column,
"Dominos on the March" march,
1968). the chain reaction then
promptly produces a big
thermonuclear reaction.
And there you have it, a 10
megaton explosion!
4. Next month's column
In next month's column, we
will learn how to clone your
neighbor's wife in six easy
steps. This project promises
to be an exciting weekend full
of fun and profit. Common
kitchen utensils will be all
you need. See you next month!
5. Notes
1. Plutonium (Pu), atomic
number 94, is a radioactive
metallic element formed by the
decay of neptunium and is
similar in chemical structure
to uranium, saturium,
jupiternium, and marsium.
6. Previous month's columns
1. Let's make test tube
babies! may, 1979
2. Let's make a solar system!
june, 1979
3. Let's make an economic
recession! july, 1979
4. Let's make an anti-gravity
machine! august, 1979
5. Let's make contact with an
alien race! september, 1979
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