165 lines
4.6 KiB
Plaintext
165 lines
4.6 KiB
Plaintext
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: :
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: THE LAYMAN'S GUIDE :
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: TO :
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: :
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: FEDERAL AGENCIES :
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: :
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: Written by: Mr. Xerox of :
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: :
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:(*)- The *ELITE* Phreaker's Club -(*):
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CIA: STANDS FOR CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE
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AGENCY. THIS GROUP IS RESPONSIBLE FOR
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INTERNATIONAL INTELLIGENCE GATHERING,
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AS WELL AS THE SPREAD OF DEMOCRACY, NO
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E IT
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DOWN THEIR THROATS...
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WASHINGTON, D.C. (703) 351-1000
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NEW YORK CITY (212) 755-0027
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CHICAGO (312) 353-2980
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LOS ANGELOS (213) 622-6875
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BOSTON (617) 354-5965
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MIAMI (305) 445-3658
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HOUSTON (713) 229-2739
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ST. LOUIS (314) 621-6902
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DON'T ASK ME WHAT THEY NEED OFFICES IN
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THE U.S. FOR...
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DOD: STANDS FOR DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE
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THESE ARE THE BOYS WHO RENT OFFICE
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SPACE IN THE PENTAGON... THEY ARE THE
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ARMED FORCES, HERE TO PROTECT US FROM
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THE VILE ARMIES OF OTHER NATIONS...
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PENTAGON (202) 545-6700
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DARPA: STANDS FOR DEFENSE ADVANCED
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RESEARCH PROJECTS AGENCY. THESE ARE
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THE BOYS WHO MAKE WEAPONS FOR THE
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MILITARY. THEY ARE VERY UP ON
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PARTICLE BEAM WEAPONS, LASERS, MISSLE
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TRACKING, AND EVEN BIOCYBERNETICS (THE
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DIRECT INTERFACING OF MAN AND MACHINE-
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IMAGING HACK{_ING AS FAST AS YOU CAN
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THINK ABOUT IT... THIS HAS POTENTIAL).
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ARLINGTON, VA (202) 694-3007
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NSA: STANDS FOR NATIONAL SECURITY
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AGENCY. THESE ARE THE BRAIN BOYS, THE
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THINK TANKS FOR THE THE MILITARY. IF
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YOU HAVE NIGHTMARES, THESE PEOPLE AR}iE
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THE ONES WHO SHOULD BE STARRING. THEY
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ARE THE GOVT. COMPUTER AND TELECOM
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EXPERTS.
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D (301) 688-6311
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DOJ: STANDS FOR DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
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THIS IS THE COURT SYSTEM, HOWEVER I DO
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NOT AGREE WITH THEIR IDEA OF JUSTICE
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(WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FRO A MAN WHO
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THINKS G. GORDON LIDDY IS COOL?).
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WASHINGTON, D.C. (202) 633-2000
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FBI: STANDS FOR FEDERAL BUREAU OF
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INVESTIGATIONS. THESE ARE THE NOSY
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PEOPLE IN THE WORLD WHO BUST IN DOORS.
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BELIEVE IT OR NOT, MOST OF THEM KNOW
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NOTHING ABOUT WHAT THEY DO SINCE THEIR
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COLLEGE DEGREES ARE IN ECONOMICS AND
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ACCOUNTING AND THE LIKE. FRANKLY,
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THESE GUYS DON'T SCARE ME... THEY ARE
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PRETTY DUMB, AND ARE TOTALLY OUT OF
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THEIR CLASS WHEN IT COMES TO COMPUTERS.
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WASHINGTON, D.C. (202) 324-3000
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(A SIDE NOTE: LOOK AT A TOUCH TONE
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PAD. 324 EITHER SPELLS 'FBI' OR 'FAG'.
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I WONDER IF SOMEONE IN THE TELCO HAS A
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SENSE OF HUMOR?)
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DEA: STANDS FOR DRUG ENFORCEMENT
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AGENCY. IF YOU WAKE UP ONE MORNING
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AND THEIR IS SOMEONE DIGGING IN YOUR
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'GARDEN' IT IS THEM. THEY DON'T LIKE
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YOU TO ENJOY YOURSELF, OR ENGAGE IN A
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LITTLE RECREATIONAL SOARING...
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WASHINGTON, D.C. (202) 633-1249
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DOS: STANDS FOR DEPARTMENT OF STATE.
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WHEN YOU HACK THE RUSSIAN COMPUTER,
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THEY AREN'T PLEASED, ONE OF TWO GROUPS
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WILL KNOCK AT YOUR DOOR. THE TELCO OR
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THE STATE DEPARTMENT. THE KGB JUST
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T IS A
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GROUP OF GUYS WHO ARE VERY GOOD LIARS
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AND VERY GOOD AT READING PEOPLE.
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THEY KEEP WATCH FROM THE EMBASSY...
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WASH NGTON, D.C. (202) 655-4000
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DOT: STANDS FOR DEPARTMENT OF TREASURY
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THROW AWAY THE COLOR XEROX MACHINE WHEN
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THESE PEOPLE KNOCK, SINCE THEY DON'T
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LIKE YOU PASSING BAD BILLS. THEY KEEP
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TRACK AND PRINT ALL THE MONEY IN THE
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COUNTRY (EXCEPT FOR A FEW FRIENDS OF
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MINE WHO...)
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WASHINGTON, D.C. (202) 566-2000
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SECRET SERVICE: FOR THE MOST PART,
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THE SECRET SERVICE PROTECTS THE
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PRESIDENT (THAT'S WHY WE HAVE LOST A
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FEW), GRABS COUNTERFEITERS, AND USED
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TO BUST MOBSTERS.
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WASHINGTON, D.C. (202) 535-5708
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(NOTE: DO THE INITIALS 'SS' MEAN MUCH
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TO THOSE OF YOU UP ON THE NAZIS????)
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BUREAU OF ALCOHOL, TOBACCO, AND
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FIREARMS: FRANKLY, I COULD DO WITHOUT
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THESE DO-GOODERS. THEY ENFORCE ALL
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LAWS PERTAINING TO ALCOHOL, TOBACCO,
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AND FIREARMS (IF IT WASN'T OBVIOUS).
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WASHINGTON, D.C. (202) 566-7511
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IRS: STANDS FOR INTERNAL REVENUE
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SERVICE. ARG! THE TAX MAN! THE ONLY
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THING IS, THEIR COMPUTER WOULD BE THE
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ULTIMATE HACK. THINK ABOUT IT...
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WASHINGTON, D.C. (202) 566-5000
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THIS FILE IS A PUBLIC SERVICE PROVIDED
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BY THE LEADER OF THE KNIGHTS OF SHADOW
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NOW A MEMBER OF THE *ELITE* PHEAKER'S!
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THE GOVERNMENT IS A PUBLIC SERVICE
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PROVIDING FOR ITSELF...
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>1984
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[>Downloaded from The World of Cryton<] [414] 462-8978 *ELITE* Phreaker's Club]
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DOWNLOADED FROM P-80 SYSTEMS......
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