230 lines
9.9 KiB
Plaintext
230 lines
9.9 KiB
Plaintext
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[SUBG_01.TXT]
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SubGenius Sources
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First of an occasional series
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AN INTERVIEW WITH PAUL MAVRIDES
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(excerpt)
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[Paul Mavrides is a San Francisco collagist, underground comic
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book artist, and all-around brilliant guy who was a founding
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member and prime mover in the Church of the SubGenius. The
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following is an excerpt from an interview conducted by Re/Search
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magazine for their book "Pranks", itself an invaluable resource
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for anyone who wishes for insight into the varieties of
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alternative culture in America today, or just likes to get cheap
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thrills off the indiscretions of others. This series of files on
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the Church of the SubGenius is intended to present a highly
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subjective selection of materials and sources pertinent to Sub-G
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for the benefit of those not familiar with, or wishing to expand
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their knowledge of, the Church of the SubGenius.
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The interviewer is V. Vale of Re/Search magazine (VV), the
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interview subject is Paul Mavrides (PM).
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Praise "Bob!"]
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[Here comes the disclaimer: I cannot stress strongly enough that
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some of the activities described herein, while amusing to say
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the least, may have legal ramifications you would not enjoy.
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Consider this a history lesson, not a how-to manual.]
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PM: A SubGenius friend named Jaynor was watching a TV
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Preach-a-Thon. The preacher was taking phone calls from people
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who needed "the healing help of the Lord," so Jaynor put on his
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"hick" accent and called him up, impersonating a totally
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paranoid man who had been driven crazy by Jesus. He said
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something like, "Jesus scares me to death -- I'm sure Jesus is
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the Devil in disguise. Isn't Jesus like a vampire, because he
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rose from the dead and all his followers are supposed to drink
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blood and eat flesh?" The host immediately got sucked in,
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saying, "No, son! You're confused!" Jaynor continued (in a
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quavering voice), "I tried to go to church, but they said I was
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possessed by the Devil. Then they stood around in a circle and
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_beat_ me with their Bibles, and now I can't even go _near_ a
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Bible! I get scared just thinking about it!" He wasted the
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preacher's entire show taking in circles. The more the guy tried
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to help him, the worse it got!
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At the last SubGenius show at a nightclub in San Francisco, an
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inadvertent prank occurred which almost became tragic. In our
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presentation we were using some replica automatic weapons, which
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we had cleared with the [club's] security. However, we forgot to
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inform the local North Beach police station. At about 1 AM some
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beat cops walking down Broadway wandered into the show and saw
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this black guy standing near the bar holding a metal replica
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M-16. Immediately they drew their guns on him and yelled,
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"Freeze!" Fortunately he reacted seriously and didn't swing
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around with the gun and say, "Huh?"
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They dragged him out onto the sidewalk in front of the [club].
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I was walking down to unload some equipment and saw this guy
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laying face down -- one cop had a gun to the back of his head,
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and the other was inspecting the prop gun which was one of those
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exact replicas. It took about an hour to clear this up. The cops
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ended up confiscating the gun as well as the guy's copy of _The
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Book of the SubGenius_. They were _really_ mad because they had
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nearly killed him. We almost made art history! We did make the
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_New York Times'_ wire service and the _International Herald
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Tribune_.
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The other time a SubGenius group got on the wire services
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involved a performance artist in Baltimore named
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Tentatively-a-Convienience, who had discovered a railroad tunnel
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containing a number of dog corpses that had been hit by trains.
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So he staged a SubGenius ritual performance which consisted of
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him naked. painted with white designs, beating these dead dogs
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that were hanging by their legs. He got arrested, the wire
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services picked up the story, and about two dozen papers
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reported that the Church of the SubGenius prances around naked
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beating dead dogs with sticks as part of their cult ritual.
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Some SubGenius associates did a prank in Arkansas. The
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executives in charge of a nuclear power plant near Little Rock
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held a banquet at a theatre-in-the-round next to a shopping
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mall. All these higher-ups and engineers were in there patting
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themselves on the back, handing each other cigars, etc. These
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people sneaked up, padlocked all the doors with heavy chains,
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and then destroyed the power box so the interior of the building
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was totally blacked out. After that they plastered anti-nuclear
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bumper stickers all over the windshields and doors of cars
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parked around the building. Then they retreated to a wooded hill
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overlooking the mall to watch.
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It took over an hour before the cops could break in. Then all
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these horrified couples (executives and their wives) poured out
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of the building. After the relief of getting out -- then they
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saw their cars! A couple of the men tried to shield their wives'
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eyes from the horrifying spectacle of bumper stickers plastered
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all over their cars: "Don't look, honey..."
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One of the people on our SubGenius radio program (KPFA,
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Berkeley) is Bob Nelson, who is pretty adept technically. The
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station relies on him for fill-in engineering; he spends a lot
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of time there. He was the only person in the studio the
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afternoon Reagan made a speech about the Russians shooting down
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KAL 007. While Reagan was talking, Bob added "live" sound
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effects that were amazing (we have a tape of it). When Reagan
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talked about the ill-fated flight, in the background was the
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sound of a sputtering plane engine. When he anguished about the
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innocent women and children on board, you could hear the sound
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of babies crying. And when he started talking about the horrible
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Russians, you could hear machine-gun fire combined with a
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classic cartoon plane crash. Toward the end of Reagan's speech
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Bob mixed in maniacal laughter in the midst of heavy echo and
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reverberation.
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Possibly because he was so useful to the station, Bob wasn't
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fired -- just reprimanded. However, several outraged listeners
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called up the FCC. And a columnist in the _San Francisco
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Examiner_ wrote an article about the incident, saying "Nothing's
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too low for those people in Berkeley. It's one thing to do this
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on a retrospective, but on a news program -- they could have
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been declaring World War III!" And the SubGenius program got
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canceled for a month or two. Now it's ancient history.
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VV: Tell us some political pranks.
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PM: In the late sixties when I lived in Akron, Ohio, there was
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a billboard of a white policeman, with tears running down his
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face, giving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a small black boy.
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The caption underneath read: "Some Call Him Pig." We drove by
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this for weeks until finally we couldn't stand it anymore. A
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friend of mine climbed up and added two vampire teeth to the
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policeman's mouth, and painted blood dripping down the little
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boy's cheek.
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Then in 1969 at Akron University, some friends and I got
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together and decided to stage a Vietnam War protest. We
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announced we were going to burn a puppy to death with homemade
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napalm to demonstrate just how horrible napalm burns are. We
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anticipated attracting a large crowd of outraged people who
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would show up to stop it, whereupon you announce, "There is no
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puppy. There's no napalm. How can you people justify showing up
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to save a _dog_, when there's an actual war going on and this
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napalm is being used on actual people?" So you embarrass them
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and make them feel guilty -- make 'em stop and think.
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We announced this, but we didn't anticipate just how outraged,
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ignorant, and mob-like people would actually be. None of us got
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a chance to announce _anything_ -- the crowd was ready to kill
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us on the spot. We had to escape with the help of the University
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Police through this network of underground heating tunnels, and
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hide out for a couple of hours until the mob dispersed. [...]
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In Berkeley some people distributed a flyer right before the
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1980 election that said, "ELECTION CANCELLED" with an official
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logo on it, giving some emergency reason that seemed plausible.
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This made the local news because apparently a lot of people saw
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it and decided not to vote.
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These same people replaced the "WHAT TO DO IN AN EMERGENCY"
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pictograms on BART [SF-area mass transit] with their own version
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telling what to do in case of nuclear attack. They detailed a
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whole procedure for living in a BART car after the attack,
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giving advice like, "Reserve one car to isolate all the bodies
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in." Even if most of the daily commuters didn't notice it, the
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few who did were probably put off balance for the rest of the
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day.
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Recently I visited Berlin. An artist I met told me some of his
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friends painted these barrels to look like official nuclear
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waste containers, then filled them with sand. They loaded them
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onto a truck, drove to the center of Berlin, then just dumped
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them on the street. This caused an instantaneous panic -- the
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news media broadcasted warnings, and the whole area was shut
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down while a de-contamination crew in white suits worked to
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remove the barrels. People in the street who were interviewed
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for TV said how worried they were, especially for the safety of
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their children. Suddenly everyone had to _think_ about this
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radioactive waste being all around them. The authorities can
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never take the chance that things like that aren't real. [...]
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During the 1972 election I had a roommate who subscribed to the
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_Wall Street Journal_. One day I opened up the paper and
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couldn't believe my eyes: there, right in front of me, was a
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full-page ad for the Committee to Re-Elect Richard Nixon,
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surrounded by a border of alternating swastikas and American
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flags! The next day, the WSJ explained that someone in the
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layout department had gotten a little "creative," and that he
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had subsequently been fired.
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VV: And this got distributed nationwide before it was discovered?
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PM: Yes. You can do anything once!
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[Pnin July 1992]
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