1237 lines
42 KiB
Plaintext
1237 lines
42 KiB
Plaintext
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+======== April 1995 =========================== Volume 3, Number 4 ========+
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| *** *** ******** ******** ******** ******* ******* ***** *** |
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| * * * * * ****** ** *** * * **** * * *** * * ***** ** ** * * |
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| * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * |
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| * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * |
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| * *** * * * **** * * * * * **** * * *** * * ***** * * * * |
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| ***** * * * ** * * * * * * *** ** * *** * ***** * * * * * |
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| * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * |
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| * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * |
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| ***** * * **** * ** *** * * * * ** * * * * ***** * ** ** * ***** |
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| ******* ******** ******** *** **** *** *** ******* ***** ******* |
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| ************************************************************************* |
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| [ A JOURNAL OF THE POETIC ARTS ] |
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| Guest Editor: Igal Koshevoy |
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| Editor: Klaus J. Gerken |
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| Production Editor: Igal Koshevoy |
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| Associate Editors: Paul Lauda |
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| : Pedro Sena |
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| : Gay Bost |
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| European Editor: Milan Georges Djordjevitch |
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| Contributing Editor: Martin Zurla |
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+===========================================================================+
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***************************************************************************
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[ TABLE OF CONTENTS ]
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***************************************************************************
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* INTRODUCTION
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+ "Welcome and technical foreword"
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+ "Unravelings" -- introductory poem
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* Poems
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+ "faceless"
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-- featuring clay sculpture "Pan" (kosh-pan.jpg)
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+ "last shot"
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-- featuring pen drawing "Fuzzy" (kosh-fuz.jpg)
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+ "abyss"
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-- featuring CAD drawing "Abyss" (kosh-aby.gif)
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+ "DEATH SONG II"
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-- featuring acrylic painting "OMC" (kosh-omc.jpg)
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+ "shitterd"
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-- featuring CAD drawing "Wratheon" (kosh-wra.gif)
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+ "pity's bloom"
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-- featuring painting "Stiff Patience" (kosh-tre.jpg)
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+ "divulged infestations"
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-- featuring metal sculpture "Fork, I" (kosh-for.jpg)
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+ "Model ... under plexiglass"
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-- featuring pencil drawing "a ballerina's world
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through a blinded audience's eyes" (kosh-blr.jpg)
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+ "parting momentum"
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+ "an age of digital medicine"
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-- featuring pastel drawing "Bastronaut" (kosh-bas.jpg)
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* POST SCRIPTUM
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+ "careless end of ... something...?"
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-- featuring pencil drawing "Avenue of Escape"
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(kosh-aoe.jpg)
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**************************************************************************
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[ INTRODUCTION ]
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**************************************************************************
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Welcome to a special issue that welcomes Ygdrasil's upcoming second
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Birthday. It's hard to imagine that it's been this long, and that
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we've come this far - but it's all been worth it. There's no regrets -
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only gratitude.
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I'd like to thank some friends who've made this wonderful experience
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possible for me: Klaus Gerken, for his brave spirit and unstoppable
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enthusiasm; Paul Lauda, for almost going to the poor house by doing
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his thing to improve the world; Evan Light, for energetic activism;
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Pedro Sena, for vision, truth and dreams; Tom Almy, for quiet and
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dutiful service to others; all those that fought for dignified and
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worthy causes; and all those we've lost along the way.
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This issue steps forward into a realm of art that's just as poetic,
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though much less wordy - throughout the issue there's intertwined
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poems, pictures, sculptures and grafix. So if you're not seeing the
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Web version, you're missing most of the show; and if you're just
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seeing the only text & pictures, then that's barely second-best. If
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you're only reading the text, well, I can only gently say that there's
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a great deal more to this issue than what you're seeing. This is all
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about hushed voices and images....
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The Web version is at "http://www.ee.pdx.edu/~igal/ygdrasil/y-9504".
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To get full viewing satisfaction, you'll need to get a HTML level 3
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browser and JPEG & GIF graphics viewers to see the pictures - your
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best bet is to get Netscape 1.1 (ftp://ftp.mcom.com) which does both.
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Enjoy and spread the word.
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And now let's start....
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-Igal Koshevoy
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PS: urgent notice to Centipede boards: Paul Lauda's Revisions Systems
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had a tragic disk crash and may take a while to become operational
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again. Tom Almy's Bitter Butter Better BBS has been officially
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announced as the temporary hub of operations. To continue your
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Centipede service, please send netmail to Tom Almy at 1:105/290 or
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dial up BITTER BUTTER BBS at 1-503-692-5841 (new number) and leave a
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message.
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============================================================================
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Unravelings
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~~~~~~~~~~~
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Cobwebs in musty closets, filled with things that weren't there. A
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quiet drape of disappointment, maybe not too far from truth. Currents
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seem like the only movement; close the window, kill the lights. Hazy
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imperfection; outlines, shadows ... patient things.
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Motion is measured by a framed perspective. Distances traveled; vistas
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past. Sometimes seems like we're actually moving ... but it's always
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just the earth beneath us - washing by.
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Drive through every city and you're seeing the same thing, every
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channel playing the same dry song. Flat dullness, rolling across an
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absent void. We are our world. It's not surprising.
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And the time flies past; there's no reason to look at the watch ... we
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know what it's saying.
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-Igal Koshevoy (TR)
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March 26, 1995; 2:07am
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============================================================================
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faceless
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~~~~~~~~
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filthied union, one under the streaking mud.
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collected leeches, barnacles and rainy gloom.
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shades of grey and brown -
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what a dirty, ugly place.
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i can feel the indifference,
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yeah,
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i'm sopping wet.
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in the cold of the moment,
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words come flowing like turbulent sewage -
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damp anger.
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plastic translucence and
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stainless appreciation.
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thank you.
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fuck you.
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i love you.
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go to hell.
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irregular beat and enthropic carelessness,
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waiting for Now to come.
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self-defacement and soul replacement,
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press the off switch on the battery-powered god.
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stream of dissonance veiled by the steam of ignorance;
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no really,
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i don't want to know what's going on.
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there's everything if one looks hard enough for it,
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but shutting-in is good enough.
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scratch the itch,
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hit the bitch,
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and caress the rich.
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flick the button,
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change my channel,
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shift my focus to
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bluurroouuutt..
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tired,
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live to sleep -
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eternal night,
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effacing nightmare.
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so much better though....
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traversing on a line-by-line.
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...i'm faceless....
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can't recognize a scream any more.
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-Igal Koshevoy (lh^m^TR)
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February 17, 1995: 3:07pm
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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last shot
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~~~~~~~~~
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collapse
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framework crumbles
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heart-rot wormed from limb-to-limb
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filthy rags lay uninspired
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unwashed lies just sit and stare
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ghostly aberration fall down from wooden throne
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quiet whimperings of one too numb to cry
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the knot disintegrates
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the shadow melts and spawns
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a mattress sags
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enfolds and holds me close
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`tis only i, the loser
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the robber
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the ghost
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wander aimless
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through unending hallways
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mind subtracts itself from empty space
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burned down embers
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glow the coals forever
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swimming awash of sky and motor
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glistening
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pretty lights
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with fingers extended
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reaching like an infant
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one thing in mind:
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-Igal Koshevoy (de-tr)
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April 1, 1994; 12:17am
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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abyss
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~~~~~
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nothing left to worship
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everything forsakened ...
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tainted
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twisted away
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my gold has turned to rusting heaps
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the bibles have crumbled down to blowing dusts
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the statues have fallen from their marble pedestals
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. . .
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so close
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but still
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so far away
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my fingers can almost reach you
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almost hold you again ...
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almost
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the reaching out ...
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and i know it's wrong -
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i know it
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bringing you closer
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brings closer to tragedy
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i'd do anything -
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absolutely anything
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to bring things back to the way they were before -
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anything to just glimpse back at what might have been
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. . .
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all those pictures of you
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that hang in my darkened hallways,
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i'm afraid to turn the lights on -
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i'm afraid to look at them ...
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but i can still -feel- the accusing eyes
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staring
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whispering with slitted throats
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drowning me in pools of unspoken shame
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and even with all its hatefulness
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the gauntlet i run
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each and every day -
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i can't escape it
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some faces so darkened by the shadows
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the names lost
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the details contorted ...
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but their message remains
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and the others
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the fresher kills
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with features glowing red
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by the light of my infernal heart-pyre ...
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they stare back
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unmoving
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frozen as they burn in time
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glaring
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unforgiving ...
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not them -
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not i
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. . .
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the gods have fallen
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the devil left
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the idols crumbled
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the faith has been shed
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stalking the ruins
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a black, hauntling glitch
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staring into the anger-streaked horizon
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and the shattered remnants
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reach to the sky like broken teeth
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in a world a million miles away
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transposed onto another reality ...
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too real
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too false
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so artificial ...
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so far
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. . .
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i can almost reach you
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my extended fingers ...
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almost ...
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almost able to hold onto you.
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i know it's poison,
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i drink it just the same.
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i know it's wrong -
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but i can't stop it, not again.
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nothing can
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hold it back.
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as if by a butchering-stencil
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it all falls back into place ...
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each step closer to you
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a step closer to assured disaster.
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. . .
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the red sun
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forever setting ...
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watching me
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mercilessly
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for hours
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years
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eternities -
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always setting,
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never leaving
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me behind
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-Igal Koshevoy (m^bw)
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January 18, 1994; 11:21pm
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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DEATH SONG II
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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i am the wild-toothed rider
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of the fresh pine wood coffin
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that rides the nightmarish tidal wave of hate!
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ENGULF! ENGULF! ENGULF!
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'ah just gonna rip 'em apart,
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limb to limb, organ to organ!
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mow 'em down with a wall of glittering steel,
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LET'S GO SEVER SOME HEADS!
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i'm the child of the flames.
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gonna find that Dream Child
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n' toast a drink of battery acid for 'er health.
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i'm a bat out of hell.
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find the damned Child,
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and pierce 'er throat
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suck all the reeking goodness out
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and spit back the seeds.
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i'm the pain in this world.
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jus' gonna hum a tune,
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strike up a song,
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pull up a keg of blood,
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for the night is young and long!
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come 'ahn DOWN, ye'r neXT!
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i am the incinerator,
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i am doom!
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hell on wheelZ,
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pain in a wheelbarrel,
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death on a stick!
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simpl'y gonna do ya' all,
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make no damn diffRence ta' me!
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scream all you want, i'll make
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PLENTY more.
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can't get away,
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i'm on you heels,
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on your intestines,
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on ye'!
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come on down and
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take my bony hand
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and with leering skulls dance
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through the flames
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of our burning pasts.
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dance to the new rhythm
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set by the beat of a meltdown reactor core.
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dancin' thru da' flameZ - we go hand in hand!
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yeah, 'ah gotta head in my freezer
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ya' see.
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was an ol' luv o' mine: WAS, ya' see!
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so damn, maybe she never smiles - such'a damn shame
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but she don't bitch, don't gripe, don't whine.
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jus'a handful of somethin' clean
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to gnaw the hours away.
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and so U'll go,
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'ah smile as
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i gleefully grasp
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my rusted fork.
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jus' gonna take from you,
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what i never had.
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gonna take it
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ALL from you:
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everybit
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everypiece
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everydrop
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everypart.
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'n gonna shove't 'en ma meat locker
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for a RRRrrrrrainy day!
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i am your creation,
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you made me what i am.
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i am what you tossed out with the trash.
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i am the one you unceremoniously flushed down the john.
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now i'm back
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with a vengeance,
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with a plan,
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with a fork!
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ain't nuttin' gonna stop me this time.
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all those times past,
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stopped by silly
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morals
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beliefs
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ideas
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gods
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explanations
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contemplations
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expirations
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expectations
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condemnations
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justifications.
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now eit's jus' decadence!
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'ah know it all,
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ultraomnipotent!
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'ah know ye'r best kept secrets,
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ye'r best told lies
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told with slippery tongue.
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but i've put ye'r testicles to the grindstone,
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and i'm beatin' 'em as my war drum!
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i've cut through the shit with a chainsaw.
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it's all done now!
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||
|
gonna stuff my pain
|
||
|
down the throat of a long dead corpse
|
||
|
gonna slay those god-damned souls!
|
||
|
|
||
|
i can see you through
|
||
|
like the frail polythene ghosts
|
||
|
fluttering and dropping away in
|
||
|
the acid rain.
|
||
|
i know who you are.
|
||
|
'ah can see your selfish selfs,
|
||
|
your beheaded saints,
|
||
|
your corrugated idols,
|
||
|
your burnished shrines,
|
||
|
that festered flesh,
|
||
|
the bleeding hearts,
|
||
|
the rotten minds,
|
||
|
and the inside - much worse.
|
||
|
and most of all,
|
||
|
i can see the emptiness that you are.
|
||
|
|
||
|
and i'm gonna kut it all out
|
||
|
with my surgical chainsaw
|
||
|
till the blood flows upon the planes in tides,
|
||
|
the day, the day ... shall come.
|
||
|
and we shall be ONE.
|
||
|
twisted, pained flesh and my glorious doom.
|
||
|
Cuz
|
||
|
blind devotion to my cause,
|
||
|
cause nuttin's gonna change my mind,
|
||
|
no matter, evermore!
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
-Igal Koshevoy; February 8th, 1993
|
||
|
METALLIFEROUS DECADENCE (RUST) 1:3
|
||
|
|
||
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
|
||
|
shitterd
|
||
|
~~~~~~~~
|
||
|
|
||
|
the tables turned
|
||
|
i find myself beneath
|
||
|
the powertrip replaced by fear
|
||
|
|
||
|
once i was somebody
|
||
|
once i was someone
|
||
|
once i was something
|
||
|
once...?
|
||
|
|
||
|
cornered into surrender
|
||
|
pushed into a shove
|
||
|
reality betrays me
|
||
|
falls out under my tired feet
|
||
|
|
||
|
i lost the luxury
|
||
|
my amenity
|
||
|
now a dysfunctionality
|
||
|
fucking through me in tyranny
|
||
|
|
||
|
stepping down as royal lord of evaporation
|
||
|
dropping knees to face my breaks
|
||
|
|
||
|
shuddering incohesion
|
||
|
r
|
||
|
e
|
||
|
c
|
||
|
o
|
||
|
g
|
||
|
n
|
||
|
i
|
||
|
t
|
||
|
i
|
||
|
o
|
||
|
n
|
||
|
you're the one
|
||
|
proud stand
|
||
|
now a one-night pity
|
||
|
|
||
|
the bruises glow unmuted
|
||
|
transdifiguration eats me
|
||
|
and i deserve
|
||
|
|
||
|
shut it out
|
||
|
propel to escape velocity
|
||
|
but it's not my whim
|
||
|
not my decision
|
||
|
this collision
|
||
|
|
||
|
passing reminiscence
|
||
|
permeated by insolence
|
||
|
feed by derogance
|
||
|
flushed with impotence
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
flash of light
|
||
|
hand comes down so hard
|
||
|
and the guilt even harder
|
||
|
|
||
|
stopped world stands in attention
|
||
|
focusing and staring into my weak and emptied soulruin
|
||
|
|
||
|
i'd defend myself
|
||
|
but it's too late to fight
|
||
|
i'd hide
|
||
|
but that wouldn't be right
|
||
|
i'd run
|
||
|
but i'm broken already
|
||
|
|
||
|
eyes clamped shut
|
||
|
tears wrestle for passage
|
||
|
too late for self-reproach
|
||
|
too late for anything other than shame
|
||
|
|
||
|
collapse to breakdown
|
||
|
and the stoning begins
|
||
|
raw flesh on shattered moans
|
||
|
|
||
|
. . .
|
||
|
|
||
|
draining
|
||
|
draining
|
||
|
|
||
|
. . .
|
||
|
|
||
|
drained
|
||
|
|
||
|
. . .
|
||
|
|
||
|
dragged by inertia
|
||
|
lead by purpose unbelieved
|
||
|
rebuild the paper-thin wall of decency
|
||
|
bite down, ignore the memory
|
||
|
|
||
|
. . .
|
||
|
|
||
|
fading
|
||
|
fading
|
||
|
|
||
|
. . .
|
||
|
|
||
|
faded
|
||
|
|
||
|
. . .
|
||
|
|
||
|
i'm sorry
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
-Igal Koshevoy (m^lh^at)
|
||
|
May 22, 1994; 11:37pm
|
||
|
|
||
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
|
||
|
pity's bloom
|
||
|
~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
||
|
|
||
|
raise the head
|
||
|
ungazing desire
|
||
|
|
||
|
security fixation
|
||
|
with a gun against head
|
||
|
|
||
|
trepid diffusion
|
||
|
swimming besides
|
||
|
refrigerated gardens
|
||
|
hidden inside
|
||
|
|
||
|
tread past
|
||
|
midst confrontation
|
||
|
through greying wounds
|
||
|
and brittle stares
|
||
|
|
||
|
unfurling unbeauty
|
||
|
thorned fenced and spayed
|
||
|
|
||
|
creep long the blockings
|
||
|
move slow the vines
|
||
|
tonight collapse and linger
|
||
|
forget the eyes you can't see with
|
||
|
ignore the world you won't live in
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
-Igal Koshevoy (M^bw)
|
||
|
August 2, 1994; 3:50pm
|
||
|
|
||
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
|
||
|
divulged infestations
|
||
|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
||
|
|
||
|
returning, i wear the lark -
|
||
|
as stigmata
|
||
|
of my insolence
|
||
|
|
||
|
hidden under its lost innocence -
|
||
|
shattered,
|
||
|
torn asunder
|
||
|
|
||
|
asyncronism,
|
||
|
spinning mad -
|
||
|
breaking dimension's walls
|
||
|
|
||
|
insult to the living,
|
||
|
dead are neither proud,
|
||
|
in between - just hatred wrought
|
||
|
|
||
|
staring from under tattered feathers,
|
||
|
breathing from bloodied pores,
|
||
|
livid existence - petrified
|
||
|
|
||
|
singularity
|
||
|
on field of battle,
|
||
|
pride so hard on ground so cold
|
||
|
|
||
|
no expectations,
|
||
|
have i from you,
|
||
|
my darling
|
||
|
|
||
|
a moment collapses,
|
||
|
unfairness blurred -
|
||
|
de rigueur
|
||
|
|
||
|
reflective derision -
|
||
|
laugh so hard
|
||
|
you cry
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
-Igal Koshevoy (S)
|
||
|
October 31, 1993; 12:01am
|
||
|
ALTAR OF APOLOGIES 3:3
|
||
|
|
||
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
|
||
|
Model ... under plexiglass
|
||
|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
||
|
|
||
|
looking at you isn't enough
|
||
|
holding you in my arms isn't either
|
||
|
your eyes staring past me is enough
|
||
|
enough to shatter the glory of the moment
|
||
|
enough to break the myth
|
||
|
enough to lose the feeling
|
||
|
|
||
|
you're behind a protective glass wall
|
||
|
and i can't break through it
|
||
|
there's no way i can smash it
|
||
|
no way to get through to you
|
||
|
|
||
|
and i can see you
|
||
|
there on the other side
|
||
|
and you look happy
|
||
|
almost
|
||
|
i know you're hurt
|
||
|
you weren't one to look hurt
|
||
|
but i know you too well
|
||
|
i know the truth
|
||
|
but still the truth never mattered to you
|
||
|
it never will either
|
||
|
|
||
|
so there you are
|
||
|
smiling away
|
||
|
crying inside
|
||
|
holding him tight
|
||
|
as you break-down inside
|
||
|
and what am i left with?
|
||
|
|
||
|
a memory
|
||
|
a fast-fading dream
|
||
|
it was real, just moments ago
|
||
|
but it's turning to fantasy so quick
|
||
|
too fast
|
||
|
too fast for me to hold on to
|
||
|
|
||
|
i don't want to let you go
|
||
|
i never wanted to let you out of my arms
|
||
|
i didn't want to let you back into this hateful world
|
||
|
never wanted to let you hurt
|
||
|
i wanted to protect you
|
||
|
maybe too much
|
||
|
maybe too little
|
||
|
but whatever it was
|
||
|
it wasn't enough
|
||
|
|
||
|
i couldn't hold on
|
||
|
not the ride
|
||
|
and not the trip
|
||
|
|
||
|
now you're in my sight
|
||
|
and your soft smile and bright eyes
|
||
|
no longer bring me joy
|
||
|
they bring those same tears you feel
|
||
|
to me
|
||
|
|
||
|
i want so much
|
||
|
to tear those hateful emotions away
|
||
|
and love you again
|
||
|
but i can't
|
||
|
without you loving back
|
||
|
at least a little
|
||
|
if you at least look back a little
|
||
|
if you just give me a chance
|
||
|
if you just let me try
|
||
|
|
||
|
but you were never one for emotional types
|
||
|
you had to it there and now
|
||
|
i guess i terrified you
|
||
|
by being so different and yet the same
|
||
|
i was all i could be for you
|
||
|
seems it wasn't that much
|
||
|
|
||
|
i'm sorry
|
||
|
i'm sorry i couldn't be what you wanted
|
||
|
i'm so sorry i couldn't hold on to you as tight as i should
|
||
|
i'm sorry
|
||
|
|
||
|
it's cold up here
|
||
|
the wind is blowing
|
||
|
it's even colder inside me
|
||
|
i want to warm myself by your fire
|
||
|
want to warm your cold body with mine
|
||
|
i don't care what you've put me through
|
||
|
i still love you
|
||
|
and i wish i could say that
|
||
|
with the sincerity
|
||
|
that i once had
|
||
|
|
||
|
i miss you
|
||
|
it's lonely here
|
||
|
without you in my arms
|
||
|
it's getting colder
|
||
|
i can barely see you through this fog
|
||
|
i can barely see at all
|
||
|
i don't want to see anything else
|
||
|
i want you
|
||
|
i need you
|
||
|
i love you
|
||
|
wish you could say that for me
|
||
|
|
||
|
i can almost remember your soft hair against my fingertips
|
||
|
the way your eyes would sparkle just for me
|
||
|
your laugh
|
||
|
and smile
|
||
|
|
||
|
i can almost remember
|
||
|
almost
|
||
|
|
||
|
i hate this memory
|
||
|
because it's a memory
|
||
|
i want it to be reality
|
||
|
i want it to be now
|
||
|
i want you now
|
||
|
i need you now
|
||
|
i love you now
|
||
|
let me love you
|
||
|
while i still can
|
||
|
let me be something
|
||
|
while there's still something left
|
||
|
let me embrace you
|
||
|
while you're still here
|
||
|
|
||
|
you don't know how much i've missed you
|
||
|
|
||
|
you'll never understand what you mean to me
|
||
|
|
||
|
you don't know what you mean to me
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
-Igal Koshevoy (AT)
|
||
|
November 20, 1993; 12:13am
|
||
|
SHRINE OF LIES 7:3
|
||
|
|
||
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
|
||
|
parting momentum
|
||
|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
||
|
|
||
|
i can't live without you
|
||
|
and tomorrow you'll be replaced
|
||
|
right now you're my one desire
|
||
|
and soon you'll be a memory passed
|
||
|
everything i ever wanted from life
|
||
|
forgotten blindingly quick
|
||
|
i'm incomplete without you
|
||
|
and with you i can't be
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
-Igal Koshevoy (AT^LH)
|
||
|
March 15, 1994; 2:15am
|
||
|
|
||
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
|
||
|
the only distance between two points
|
||
|
is a circle
|
||
|
so be what /thou|they/ wilt
|
||
|
as all sentient beings -become-, whether they deserve it or not
|
||
|
|
||
|
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
|
||
|
|
||
|
an age of digital medicine
|
||
|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
||
|
|
||
|
spinning slowly
|
||
|
little lights
|
||
|
cracked mirrors
|
||
|
in a small darkened room
|
||
|
|
||
|
somewhere an ironic melody plays
|
||
|
a cruel mechanical and joking song
|
||
|
its cords a punctuation
|
||
|
twisting into a revolving conclusion
|
||
|
|
||
|
mocking childsong serenades
|
||
|
a quiet whirling dervish
|
||
|
its pieces losing cohesion
|
||
|
dropping crashing to an unseen floor
|
||
|
|
||
|
jerky metal tune
|
||
|
playing on a spinning drum
|
||
|
and the harder one listens
|
||
|
the more it changes, the more it stays the same
|
||
|
|
||
|
each return to the placebefore
|
||
|
also a return to the hereafter
|
||
|
masked by almosthearing the hidden machineries
|
||
|
(wonder) is this inertia ... or is this eternity?
|
||
|
|
||
|
and the fragments of the broken chandelier
|
||
|
torn from sockets
|
||
|
by conspired gravity
|
||
|
come crashing down
|
||
|
|
||
|
spinning
|
||
|
falling
|
||
|
watching from outside
|
||
|
|
||
|
nothing more than a carnival inside a little head
|
||
|
...it's all inside a little head.
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
-Igal Koshevoy (M^sr)
|
||
|
December 3, 1994; 6:23pm
|
||
|
|
||
|
============================================================================
|
||
|
|
||
|
**************************************************************************
|
||
|
[ POST SCRIPTUM ]
|
||
|
**************************************************************************
|
||
|
|
||
|
careless end of ... something...?
|
||
|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
||
|
|
||
|
over a decade of punctual apologies
|
||
|
hidden beneath multi-lingual guises
|
||
|
under these hundred faces
|
||
|
none of which i even believe
|
||
|
|
||
|
the black clouds swell with anticipation
|
||
|
a need to give back something
|
||
|
waiting so long to impress
|
||
|
saving up for retribution
|
||
|
but they're only vapors
|
||
|
|
||
|
and the sun dies no matter how hard i try to hold on to
|
||
|
it watches with shutting eyes, the end of my world
|
||
|
|
||
|
the repeated mistakes hum dull inside the framework
|
||
|
"i did my best" ... or so i tell myself
|
||
|
|
||
|
with a soft whimper i hug myself a little tighter
|
||
|
and whisper quietly, "you tried" but i do not believe
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
amidst these chirping, faded strangers
|
||
|
amidst this perfumed sea of suits
|
||
|
|
||
|
i stand between no where and nowhere
|
||
|
and now i'm nothing
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
-Igal Koshevoy (m^LH^TR)
|
||
|
June 15, 1994; 9:10pm
|
||
|
|
||
|
============================================================================
|
||
|
|
||
|
Anyways, I've wasted enough of your valuable time and brain cells, so I
|
||
|
honestly hope you have enjoyed the pictures and poetry. I also hope that
|
||
|
some of the stuff written has 'rubbed-up' on you and has, or will, change
|
||
|
your life and that of others, somehow, for the better. Take care.
|
||
|
|
||
|
+---------------------------------------------------------+
|
||
|
| Copyright 1995 Igal Koshevoy, all rights reserved! |
|
||
|
| "Mess wit' mah' poems n' 'Ah break ya' finghas!" -JTB |
|
||
|
+---------------------------------------------------------+
|
||
|
|
||
|
============================================================================
|
||
|
|
||
|
**************************************************************************
|
||
|
[ DISTRIBUTION ]
|
||
|
**************************************************************************
|
||
|
|
||
|
Here's some ways you can get a copy of Ygdrasil --
|
||
|
|
||
|
Internet:
|
||
|
* Use the World Wide Web to browse "http://www.rdrop.com/~igal/ygdrasil" -
|
||
|
the official Web site. This contains EVERYTHING that's Ygdrasil,
|
||
|
including all versions, even hypertexted ones with really awesome
|
||
|
graphics that aren't available elsewhere. This is the place to be if you
|
||
|
can get there.
|
||
|
* Read Usenet's "rec.arts.poems" or "alt.zines" newsgroups, where the
|
||
|
7-bit Ygdrasil magazine is posted in full as it's released.
|
||
|
* Use Internet ftp to "ftp.rdrop.com/~igal/ygdrasil" - the official ftp
|
||
|
site. View "INDEX" file to see a directory explaining our files.
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||
|
|
||
|
BBS & Fidonet:
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||
|
* If your BBS gets Centipede (Ygdrasil's favorite Network) or EPub file
|
||
|
echoes, if so, look for files that start with "Y-yymm" where "yy" is the
|
||
|
last two digits of the year and the "mm" is the month of the issue.
|
||
|
* Perform a Fidonet FileRequest to 1:105/290 and look for files with the
|
||
|
above naming scheme. You can do this if you're a Fidonet "Point",
|
||
|
otherwise, just ask your friendly Fidonet sysop.
|
||
|
* Call 1-503-692-5841, that's Tom Almy's "Bitter Butter Better BBS" in
|
||
|
Tigard, Oregon which connects 1200 through V.FC & V.34 - it's our
|
||
|
official BBS site until RESY comes back. Enter "downloader" as the name,
|
||
|
"guest" as the password. Enter the (F)iles section, (E)nter group "1"
|
||
|
Fiction, and (A)rea change to "14" Contemporary Poetry. And download
|
||
|
away! You can be downloading within 15 seconds of connection.
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||
|
|
||
|
Electronic Mail:
|
||
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* Send email (Fidonet: Igal Koshevoy at 1:105/290; or Internet:
|
||
|
igal@agora.rdrop.com) and ask us to send you Ygdrasil by email. Please
|
||
|
tell us which version you wish to receive: (1) the uncompressed 7-bit
|
||
|
universal ASCII or (2) the UUENCODED 8-bit MSDOS version. If not
|
||
|
specified, you'll get the 7-bit which you can read in your mail program.
|
||
|
Don't forget to mention any length related quirks in your mail reader -
|
||
|
such as you can't view more than 200 lines in OLX.
|
||
|
* Request and read the "A Very Brief E-mail User's Guide to Ygdrasil
|
||
|
Online" and get your own copies of Ygdrasil through email.
|
||
|
|
||
|
Postal Mail:
|
||
|
* Send snailmail to YGDRASIL PRESS; 1001-257 LISGAR ST.; OTTAWA, ONTARIO;
|
||
|
CANADA, K2P 0C7 and request either our printed version, or a files on
|
||
|
disk and specify disk size. This is a difficult, expensive and time
|
||
|
consuming so please send $3 Canadian or $2 US to cover. This is the
|
||
|
least preferred way to get in touch with us.
|
||
|
|
||
|
Other Distribution:
|
||
|
? If there's a way we can help make getting issues of Ygdrasil easier, by
|
||
|
all means, please tell us. If you know of a BBS that would like to carry
|
||
|
Y, or a file echo that it can be distributed through - we'd be thrilled
|
||
|
to know. Feel free to make any suggestions or comments, we look forward
|
||
|
to hearing from you.
|
||
|
|
||
|
Correspondence:
|
||
|
* Klaus Gerken, Chief Editor - for general messages and ASCII text
|
||
|
submissions. Use Klaus' address for commentary on Ygdrasil and its
|
||
|
contents: klaus.gerken@bbs.synapse.net (Internet)
|
||
|
* Igal Koshevoy, Production Editor and Distribution Coordinator - for
|
||
|
submissions of anything that's not plain ASCII text (ie. archives,
|
||
|
graphics, wordprocessored files, etc) in any standard DOS, Mac or Unix
|
||
|
format; and commentary on Ygdrasil's format, distribution, usability and
|
||
|
access. Igal's PGP key is available by finger or through email requests
|
||
|
to ensure privacy of transaction: igal@agora.rdrop.com (Internet) or
|
||
|
Igal Koshevoy at 1:105/290 (Fidonet).
|
||
|
|
||
|
============================================================================
|
||
|
|
||
|
** ** ******
|
||
|
** ** **
|
||
|
[ YGDRASIL INTERNET ]
|
||
|
**** **
|
||
|
** **
|
||
|
** ******
|
||
|
|
||
|
**************************************************************************
|
||
|
|
||
|
RESOURCES
|
||
|
|
||
|
The full collection of Ygdrasil Press is now available on Internet
|
||
|
through the World-Wide Web, accessible as
|
||
|
"http://www.rdrop.com/~igal/ygdrasil". This site contains the
|
||
|
collections as: 8-bit MS-DOS ASCII text, universal 7-bit ASCII, ANSI
|
||
|
color graphics, GIF pictures, word-processor laid-out files and other
|
||
|
goodies. The entire collection can also be accessed by FTP as
|
||
|
"ftp://ftp.rdrop.com/pub/users/igal/ygdrasil". Each month, the
|
||
|
Ygdrasil Magazine is posted to the Usenet newsgroup "rec.arts.poems"
|
||
|
and "alt.zines".
|
||
|
|
||
|
We hope this will give readers a break from having to dial long distance
|
||
|
and figure out which BBS has Ygdrasil available for them; provide a more
|
||
|
intimate link to the world outside our beloved Centipede; and increase &
|
||
|
broaden the audience & coverage of Ygdrasil to better serve the readers.
|
||
|
|
||
|
E-MAIL USER'S GUIDE TO YGDRASIL
|
||
|
|
||
|
Any person that can access Internet e-mail (ie. FidoNet, Prodigy, AOL)
|
||
|
can access Ygdrasil's online resources. To get a E-MAIL USER'S GUIDE TO
|
||
|
YGDRASIL GUIDE, send e-mail to the Internet address
|
||
|
"listproc@www0.cern.ch" (if you don't know how to send Internet e-mail,
|
||
|
please ask your system administrator for instructions). In the message,
|
||
|
leave the subject line blank, and in the body enter two lines into the
|
||
|
message: "www http://www.rdrop.com/~igal/ygdrasil/wwwmail.html" and on
|
||
|
the second line "quit". The Guide will be waiting in your e-mailbox
|
||
|
within a day. NOTE: CASE IS SIGNIFICANT - "www" is not the same as
|
||
|
"WWW"; if you don't type it the exactly same way, your request will
|
||
|
fail. Sorry. :)
|
||
|
|
||
|
============================================================================
|
||
|
|
||
|
+=====================================================================+
|
||
|
| A New Age: The Centipede Network Of Artists, Poets, & Writers |
|
||
|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------|
|
||
|
| - An Informational Journey Into A Creative Echonet [9310] |
|
||
|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------|
|
||
|
| (C) CopyRight "I Write, Therefore, I Develop" By Paul Lauda |
|
||
|
+=====================================================================+
|
||
|
|
||
|
URGENT NOTICE TO CENTIPEDE BOARDS:
|
||
|
|
||
|
Paul Lauda's Revisions Systems had a tragic disk crash and may take
|
||
|
a while to become operational again. Tom Almy's Bitter Butter
|
||
|
Better BBS has been officially announced as the temporary hub of
|
||
|
operations. To continue your Centipede service, please send netmail
|
||
|
to Tom Almy at 1:105/290 or dial up BITTER BUTTER BBS at
|
||
|
1-503-692-5841 (new number) and leave a message.
|
||
|
|
||
|
. . .
|
||
|
|
||
|
Come one, come all! Welcome to Centipede. Established just for
|
||
|
writers, poets, artists, and anyone who is creative. A place
|
||
|
for anyone to participate in, to share their poems, and learn
|
||
|
from all. A place to share *your* dreams, and philosophies.
|
||
|
Even a chance to be published in a magazine.
|
||
|
|
||
|
Centipede offers ten echo areas, such as a general chat area,
|
||
|
an echo of poetry and literature, and also on dreams and
|
||
|
speculated history & publishing. In all of the ten conferences,
|
||
|
anyone is allowed to post their thoughts, and make new friends.
|
||
|
For that is what CentNet is here for: for you. Ever wonder how
|
||
|
to accent a poem at the right meter? Well, come join our
|
||
|
PoetryForum, and everyone would be willing to help you out.
|
||
|
Have any problems in deciphering your dreams? Select The Dreams
|
||
|
echo, and you're questions shall be solved.
|
||
|
|
||
|
The Network was created on May 16, 1993. I created this because
|
||
|
there were no other networks dedicated to such an audience.
|
||
|
And with the help of Klaus Gerken, Centipede soon started to
|
||
|
grow, and become active on Bulletin Board Systems.
|
||
|
|
||
|
I consider Centipede to be a Public Network; however, its a
|
||
|
specialized network, dealing with any type of creative thinking.
|
||
|
Therefore, that makes us something quite exotic, since most
|
||
|
nets are very general and have various topics, not of interest
|
||
|
to a writer--which is where Centipede steps in! No more fuss.
|
||
|
A writer can now download the whole network, without phasing
|
||
|
out any more conferences, since the whole net pertains to
|
||
|
the writer's interests. This means that Centipede has all
|
||
|
the active topics that any creative user seeks. And if we
|
||
|
don't, then one shall be created.
|
||
|
|
||
|
If you want to find out more about Centipede, give us a call
|
||
|
at +609-896-3256, and join one of our conferences. You'll
|
||
|
not be disappointed! Or, check out the latest info packet
|
||
|
being distributed in the format: CENTyymm.[ARCHIVE].
|
||
|
|
||
|
============================================================================
|
||
|
|
||
|
**************************************************************************
|
||
|
[ YGDRASIL PUBLICATIONS LIST ]
|
||
|
**************************************************************************
|
||
|
|
||
|
THE WIZARD EXPLODED SONGBOOK (1969), songs by KJ Gerken
|
||
|
FULL BLACK Q (1975), a poem by KJ Gerken
|
||
|
ONE NEW FLASH OF LIGHT (1976), a play by KJ Gerken
|
||
|
THE BLACKED-OUT MIRROR (1979) a poem by Klaus J. Gerken
|
||
|
THE BREAKING OF DESIRE (1986), poems by KJ Gerken
|
||
|
FURTHER SONGS (1986), songs by KJ Gerken
|
||
|
POEMS OF DESTRUCTION (1988), poems by KJ Gerken
|
||
|
DIAMOND DOGS (1992), poems by KJ Gerken
|
||
|
KILLING FIELDS (1992), a poem by KJ Gerken
|
||
|
THE AFFLICTED, a poem by KJ Gerken
|
||
|
FRAGMENTS OF A BRIEF ENCOUNTER, poems by KJ Gerken
|
||
|
|
||
|
MZ-DMZ (1988), ramblings by Igal Koshevoy
|
||
|
DARK SIDE (1991), ramblings by Igal Koshevoy
|
||
|
STEEL REIGNS & STILL RAINS (1993), ramblings by Igal Koshevoy
|
||
|
BLATANT VANITY (1993), ramblings by Igal Koshevoy
|
||
|
ALIENATION OF AFFECTION (1993), ramblings by Igal Koshevoy
|
||
|
LIVING LIFE AT FACE VALUE (1993), ramblings by Igal Koshevoy
|
||
|
HATRED BLURRED (1993), ramblings by Igal Koshevoy
|
||
|
CHOKING ON THE ASHES OF A RUNAWAY (1993), ramblings by I. Koshevoy
|
||
|
BORROWED FEELINGS BUYING TIME (1993), ramblings by Igal Koshevoy
|
||
|
HARD ACT TO SWALLOW (1994), ramblings by Igal Koshevoy
|
||
|
HALL OF MIRRORS (1994), ramblings by Igal Koshevoy
|
||
|
ARTIFICIAL BUOYANCY (1994), ramblings by Igal Koshevoy
|
||
|
|
||
|
THE POETRY OF PEDRO SENA, poems by Pedro Sena
|
||
|
THE FILM REVIEWS, by Pedro Sena
|
||
|
THE SHORT STORIES, by Pedro Sena
|
||
|
INCANTATIONS, by Pedro Sena
|
||
|
|
||
|
POEMS (1970), poems by Franz Zorn
|
||
|
|
||
|
All books are on disk and cost $5.00 each. Checks should be made out to the
|
||
|
respective authors and orders will be forwarded by Ygdrasil Press.
|
||
|
|
||
|
YGDRASIL MAGAZINE may also be ordered from the same address: $2.50 an
|
||
|
issue to cover disk and mailing costs, also specify computer type (IBM or
|
||
|
Mac), as well as disk size and density. Allow 2 weeks for delivery.
|
||
|
|
||
|
Note that YGDRASIL MAGAZINE is free when downloaded from Revision Systems
|
||
|
BBS (1-609-896-3256) or any other participating BBS. Revisions, though,
|
||
|
holds the official version of Ygdrasil.
|
||
|
|
||
|
============================================================================
|
||
|
|
||
|
**************************************************************************
|
||
|
[ COPYRIGHT INFORMATION ]
|
||
|
**************************************************************************
|
||
|
|
||
|
All poems copyrighted by their respective authors. Any reproduction of
|
||
|
these poems, without the express written permission of the authors, is
|
||
|
prohibited.
|
||
|
|
||
|
YGDRASIL: A Journal of the Poetic Arts - Copyright (c) 1993, 1994 and 1995
|
||
|
by Klaus J. Gerken.
|
||
|
|
||
|
The official version of this magazine is posted on Revision Systems BBS:
|
||
|
No other version shall be deemed "authorized" unless downloaded from
|
||
|
there.
|
||
|
|
||
|
All checks should be made out to: YGDRASIL PRESS
|
||
|
|
||
|
Information requests, subscriptions, suggestions, comments, submissions or
|
||
|
anything else appropriate should be addressed, with a self addressed
|
||
|
stamped envelope, to:
|
||
|
|
||
|
+----------------------------+
|
||
|
| YGDRASIL PRESS *** |
|
||
|
| 1001-257 LISGAR ST. |
|
||
|
| OTTAWA, ONTARIO |
|
||
|
| CANADA, K2P 0C7 |
|
||
|
+----------------------------+
|
||
|
|
||
|
============================================================================
|
||
|
|