textfiles/magazines/WHATEVER/roadtrip.txt

Everything you ever wanted to know about crossing country.

** But what your parents would have never told you... **
----------------------------------------------------------
January 27, 1995 - By Alex Swain (swain@enigma.rider.edu)


The two most important things in this world are 1) Making love to
the most important person in your life and 2) Travelling, not
necessarily in order of importance.  There is nothing quite like
leaving the state lines and exploring what the country has to
offer... Stastically, there are 49 states out there that you've
probably never seen for more than two weeks (atleast,
statistically).  I'm estimating that the amount of people under the
age of 25 that cross the country is between 10000-20000 a month
(not including Deadheads..)  Everyone of these people have a unique
goal, but all share the same interest in adventure.

So lets say YOU, yes YOU want to cross country.  Well, all I can
say is, FINALLY!  Lets get one thing straight:  If you're doing
this for yourself you will NOT take the bus, nor a plane, and yes,
NOT on the train.  You'll need a car, preferably a reliable one. 
But don't let unreliable cars stop you.  A breakdown in Kearny,
Nebraska can be fun.  You will need money...For example:

A standard car will give you 30 mpg on the highway.  A Chevy Sprint
or a Yugo or some small car will give you up to 50 mpg!  Mileage is
super-important...New York to California is 3200 miles.  Thats
assuming you take a direct route (which incidentally is Route-95 to
the 80 all the way).  But of course you won't be taking a direct
route.  Here's the numbers: (averaged)

Trip length (in days)     Cost of gas       Payload   In miles
--------------------------------------------------------------
Fourteen                  $300.00           MAXIMUM   3500+
Seven                     $200.00           MINIMUM   3200
Three (56 hours)          $160.00           MINIMUM   3300
Thirty                    $500.00+          MEDIUM    5000+

These figures are based on my 1981 Blue Honda that averaged 20 mpg
loaded to about 35 mpg empty.  You can do the math for your own
situation.  Each mileage figure is an estimate on how much you
might explore during that time.  However, the first trip across
country I took took two weeks and I logged about 6500 miles. 
Afterall, these are only averages.

There are several main interstates.  The main ones are 80 (north),
the 40 (south) and the 10 (south).  Each one of these run east-west
and are easily the quickest ways to traverse the country, as well
as to get to big cities throughout.  You will probably use one of
these during your travels.  What you MUST do is buy an atlas.  I
HIGHLY recommend the Rand Mcnally atlas.  Get the big one (A MUST)
and throw down ten bucks.  This atlas does not simply show you
state maps and interstates, but describes every single sign and
icon you might run across during your travels.  Did you know that
Route-80 in Oakland has four spur routes?  The 580, the 680, the
880, and the 780?  You'll wish you knew that someday.  MOST all
interstates that go north-south begin with an odd number, the east-
west generally begin with an even number.  This is NOT a rule but
is usually accurate.  Also, there are points of the I80 that appear
to go North or even South.  Still, the 80 will always be either
East or West.  This goes the same for other interstates.

Mile Markers: When you enter a state (depending from which side)
you will see a white rectangular sign with "Mile" and the location
you're at.  It might be 1, it might be 796 (such as Texas) on the
10-west.  This all depends on which side you enter from.  These
markers tell you where you are located in the state based on the
interstate itself.  These can come in very handy.  For one, you can
determine your distance per minute by counting between two markers.

With this information you can use this to determine your relation
to any one location.  If you know roughly your MPG, then you can
work out other cool simple math problems.  These mile markers are
generally used in conjunction with exit-ramp numbers.  The markers
are also good for noting cool places you've passed or want to come
back to someday.  For example: Heading East on Route 40 in Texas. 
Stop for a visit on Mile Marker 162 to an AMAZING junkyard.  Its on
the right.


Buying gas:
-----------

Its inevitable, sooner or later you'll run out.  Raceway and Petro
offer the cheapest gas on this planet, hands down.  You will find
these all over the place on interstates and some small highways. 
They have huge LED signs that tell you their current gas prices. 
Most ALL of them are also Truck-Stops, which to you means a place
to take a shower and sleep on a couch.  They also offer a free t-
shirt with every 100 gallon fill-up (not pertinent, but
interesting.) plus usually weird stores to fulfill your souvenir
needs.  You're going to (hopefully) be far away from any
interstate.  Now you'll find gas stations named "Gas" that charge
$2.50 a gallon and store their gas in something a little bigger
than an oil drum.  Thats the breaks...But you get to meet some
crazy inbred hick-types at places like this.  The sticks of Nevada
offer many gas stations such as this.  My general rule was to
always buy 94 octane gas.  My logic was because I figured it would
keep my car alive a little longer.  If you have a reliable car, may
I suggest 89?  You will notice the further Midwest you go, the
cheaper the gas.  Oklahoma costing (at some places) 95 cents a
gallon for 94 octane, and California costing (at all places) at
least $1.10 a gallon for 89 octane.  Gas cards are cool, but
illogical when really traveling.  Try to find a Shell station in
Deeth, Nevada.  Don't forget to carry a gallon of gas in the car. 
You'll be glad you did.  I've pushed my car 50 miles at 4 in the
morning on route-10; not cool.

Food
----
I've been in every food situation related to travel.  A trip in
1992 cost about 20 dollars in food for two for ten days.  We ate:
cheese, bread, bologna and boiled peanuts (ala Northern Florida). 
All toppings (mayo, mustard, etc) were acquired at convenience
stores for free.  The obvious way to eat cheaply is to go to Price
Club or some huge food store and stock up on semi and non-
perishables.  Eating at McDonalds or wherever will quickly render
you broke, guaranteed.  May I recommend peanuts?  High in protein
and remarkably filling.  Cheap, too...

Safety and Interaction with strangers....
-----------------------------------------

Fact is, when you leave your home town you're a visitor, a tourist,
a jerkoff.  In big cities everyone's a tourist, cause everyone is
usually lost in one way or another.  In smaller towns and
localities you will find yourself interacting with people that are
looking at your liscense plate and you.  They may be friendly, they
may not.  Fact is, they don't know you and you should respect them.

You are in their territory and you are merely window shopping.  It
is better to be humiliated, ripped off, and beaten with a stick
then get killed by a lacquer-thinner sniffing hick.  If you are in
areas where you don't feel comfortable, you might want to restrict
odd behaviour you usually adopt.  Some friendly advice, thats all.


There are facts: Parts of Detroit at night are dangerous, Oakland
is not a place to yell racial slurs, and Washington D.C. has the
highest murder rate.  There is fiction: Deliverance is a true
story, the south is loaded with klansmen, Iowa is full of loose
girls like Daisy Duke.  The whole country has its good and bad
points.  People talk a lot of shit and thus spread stupid rumors. 
Don't let being black restrict you to the south and don't let you
being white restrict you to the ghettos.  If thats where you want
to go, then fucking deal with it already.  The majority of rumors
are pure bullshit.  Take it from me.  Nebraska is infact a state
and has a ton of awesome interesting people in it.  Montana doesn't
have merely John Denver types skiing and eating Grape Nuts.  Get
first hand knowledge by going there.

Don't carry large amounts of cash on you.  If you are lucky enough
to have large amounts of it, take American Express' advice and get
traveller's checks.  If you are in remarkably bad neighborhoods
(ie: crack dealers knocking on your window) don't look at them. 
Ignore them.  Blowing a red light to avoid a shattered skull is
okay.  Don't park your car in a hood.  If you can't help it, take
all important shit out of your car and pray.  If you're lucky, only
your hubcaps will be gone in the morning.

Where you should sleep:
=======================

This all depends on your budget.  You see, its either Mcdonalds or
a bag of peanuts.  For those with money, a motel is the first
thought that comes into mind.  Motel pricing works based on
location.  Los Angeles motels cost $25.00 a night for a room (at
the VERY least), whereas places in the middle of the country can
cost ten bucks.  Always remember that motels charge for each
person.  So the scam here is for one person to get a room and the
other to sneak in.  Most of the time there's two beds in there
anyway.  Ninety percent of all motels advertise their prices on a
big lit sign.  Look for fringe benefits such as breakfast, free
HBO, and vibrating beds (the latter I wouldn't bet on).

Depending on the season you can find a campground.  Most
prominently KOA "Kampgrounds" with their huge teepees as landmarks.

Sleep outside in sleeping bags, or in the car or wherever you want.

If its warm outside, then thats where you should sleep.  The
"Kampgrounds" should be free unless you want running water,
electricity, and other amenities.  However, i've heard rumors of
KOA's charging just to park your car there. 

In big cities you can search for American Youth Hostels, which
there's one for every big city (i'm pretty sure), if not two or
three.  They average around $14.00 a night per person, give or take
five bucks.  I'm not sure, but you may have to purchase an ID card
when you get there.  Some researching on this matter is
recommended.  These places are cool because you get to meet other
travellers and get the true feel for the city.

Hotels: If you're even considering a hotel then i'm assuming mommy
and daddy are paying for this one.  I digress...


Road Courtesy
-------------

All interstates are overpopulated with truck drivers.  They OWN the
road you and should know that.  Their trucks are ten times the size
of your measly car or van, and thus must be respected.  Semi's
often travel in convoy's.  Groups of ten semi's cruising at 110mph
is not uncommon.  Its illegal, but they do it anyway.  A CB is
handy to own.  ALL truckers use them and speak of cool things
often.  They point out speed traps to each other and warn each
other of accidents and drunk drivers.  Several times i've talked
with them and have been incorporated into a convoy.  By drafting
behind or within a convoy eliminates wind drag and will increase
your mpg definitely. -- Note that speed comes with the territory. 
If you're in Wyoming and you see cars with Wyoming plates going 80,
its safe to say you can too...On the other hand, if you're in
Wyoming and a jock from Florida is going 80 in a Mustang and
everyone else is going 55, you know...ALWAYS slow down when you
approach and go through big cities.  There are multiple on and
off-ramps which means more cops.  Flashing your lights at someone
who is going too slow is fine, as long as that person doesn't mind. 
I've flashed my lights the same and found myself tailgated for
fifteen miles.  Also un-called for horn honking is just asking for
trouble.  If at all possible, assault all lame drivers verbally in
your car and save your machoness for bar-fights.  And another
thing, don't cut people off.  It pisses them off more than anything
else.

Radar detectors are illegal in a LOT of states.  You be surprised
how excited cops get when they arrest you for having one.  When you
stop for gas or food in a new state, ask someone what the law is. 
This goes for laser detectors too.

Seatbelts:
==========
This is a moral thing.  If you have a problem with seatbelts, may
I recommend at least wearing one through areas with increased
traffic?  The following states do NOT have seatbelt laws: Maine,
Massachusetts, New Hampshire, and South Dakota.  The other 46 do.

Connecticut, Delaware, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Maryland,
Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, and Rhode Island
all have 55 mph speed-limits.  The rest are 65.

Drugs/Alcohol/Fireworks
=======================
Posession of these substances will generally get you into more
trouble than anything else when driving.  I estimate that the
majority of arrests occur after a safety stop (ie: burned-out
license plate light) and that turns up a few seeds on the
dashboard, or a firecracker or two, or an empty can of beer.  Cops
will THROW THE BOOK AT YOU most of the time.  If you do drugs (and
who doesn't these days?) I suggest purchasing and consuming them
outside of the car.  An eighth of commercial crap-weed might land
you with an interstate-drug-distribution arrest.  Hey, it happens. 
Fireworks are especially dangerous.  The best rule is to buy them
and light them off in the same state.  Although i've shot more than
a few roman candles out the car window, I don't recommend it to the
masses..Pertaining to alcohol:  We all know by know that drinking
and driving is pretty fucked up.  Do me a favor and don't drive
wasted or even buzzed.  The penalties for drunk driving are
unbelievably strict in most states in the U.S.  Generally one DUI
(or DWI or whatever) is good enough to remove your driving right
for six months.  Imagine that happening 2000 miles from home.  
Also note that if you're the passenger and drunk and the driver is
sober, the cop will slap both of you with DWI's and an open
container offense (very possibly regardless if you have one).

Cops and what they're up to:
============================

From my experience, cops are generally decent human beings.  Not to
say that there aren't corrupt ones.  The logic here is this:  If
you're in a big city where cops have serious matters to tend to
(gangbanging, murder, rape), they tend to look the other way for
petty offenses, such as posession of a dimebag or whatever.  If
you're in a small city (which is more likely), cops are meeting
quotas, they're bored, and are looking for action whenever
possible.  These cities are the ones you should be most cautious
in.  Call all cops "Sir" regardless of where you are.  Treat them
like THEY ARE YOUR BOSS.  They dictate your immediate future so
treat them with great amounts of respect.  Don't talk too much. 
Cops don't like that.  Don't make up excuses, they've heard them
all before.  Play it cool.  If you argue with them, they'll just
start slapping new offenses on you.  Remember the old "Your
taillight is out" bit?  "But officer, it isn't.." <taking billy
club to light> "Yes it is" the cops answers.  "Resisting arrest"
could entail you not putting your hands behind your back quick
enough.  Cops generally believe the whole world is a stereotype. 
If you have dyed red hair, you're a punk rocker and you shoot
heroin.  The more you look like them, the more they'll like you.

The prove how cool cops CAN be, let me relate these experiences:
Summer 1994 in Boston, the NORML pro-weed group had a rally in the
Boston Commons.  About 30,000 people showed up.  Half of them were
actively smoking weed.  Reportedly, not a single possession arrest
was made.  Thats cool if you ask me.  Especially seeing that the
week before the cops said they'd arrest anyone in possession. 

I was pulled over on my motorcycle in Berkeley for unsafe lane-
changing (or something like that).  The cop asked me if I had any
weed on me.  I said yes and produced about 5 grams in a bag.  He
told me to empty it out on the street and use my foot to crush it
into nothingness.  He then let me go, and he didn't ticket me for
the moving violation.

Here's a half good, half bad story.  I was put in a shitty
situation in where I was arrested for "possession of a weapon for
unlawful purposes" (which incidentally was a 4-inch rusted knife
under my car seat).  I was arrested and en-route to the station the
cops asked me "Hey, you smoke pot, right?"  and "Didn't we come to
that party and you were fucking that blond chick?"  and "We know
you smoke pot, just admit it."  During my booking and
fingerprinting the cops were harassing me to no end.  The cops
repeatedly fucked up doing my fingerprints until the Chief came in
and took over.  He apologized about their incompetence and finished
the prints in thirty seconds.  He went on to apologize about being
arrested for such a petty offense.  I explained why I had the knife
and he went even further to say that if he could, he'd "un-arrest"
me.  During the fingerprinting, he noticed how beaten up my fingers
were.  I told him this was from playing alot of guitar and we
talked for a half hour about guitars and how he plays one himself. 
This happened in Princeton, New Jersey, one of the most
conservative towns in America.

** Some cops are human, some are not.  Assume NOTHING **

Some other interesting information:
===================================

* All turnpikes are a confirmed ripoff.  New Jersey, New York,
Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Indiana will take every cent you own. 
Following all toll roads from New Jersey to New York, to
Pennsylvania to lets say Chicago will cost you more than 20 bucks
(try up to 40 if you have a trailer).  Bring slugs and odd foreign
coins, some of the automatic booths take them.  The Northeast has
more toll roads than the rest of the country combined.  Be
forewarned.

* Major interstates are ALWAYS under construction.

* Route-80 through Nevada has more speed-traps and cops than one
could possibly imagine.

** According to Rand Mcnally, the Interstate System works like
this:

Odd numbers are north-south routes.
Even numbers are east-west routes.
"BL" over a number means a "Business Loop"
"BS" over a number means a "Business Spur"
"XXX" whereas the first X is EVEN means its a route through or
around a city.
"XXX" whereas the first X is ODD means its a spur into a city.

* High-speed traffic is ALWAYS in the left lane of an interstate. 
Do NOT drive in this lane unless you're going with the flow.

* Sitting in a car for a long time makes you crazy and
uncomfortable.  Those seat-covers with the wooden beads are
MANDATORY if you plan to be comfortable.

* When you run out of tapes (and cd's) to listen to, flip the radio
to A.M. and scan around.  There's always cool shit on A.M. radio.

* Mountain Dew is the official softdrink for the long-haul.

* Speed records: During the days of the Cannonball Run
(incidentally, that was a REAL race), the winner (apparently) went
from Los Angeles to New York in 21 hours.  You, my friend, will not
get that luxury.  My personal best is from L.A. to Oklahoma City in
21 hours straight (thats about 50 miles West of the center of the
U.S.).  After 7 hours of sleep I drove another 26 hours straight
from Oklahoma City to Trenton, New Jersey.  Thats 47 hours total,
and it was the stupidiest thing i've ever done.

* Slacker records: William Least Heat Moon did it in a year (or
something like that) (thats more like it!).  Read Blue Highways,
its a rad book.

* Places with the highest concentration of cool people: Ann Arbor,
Berkeley, Austin, Boulder, Salt Lake City (cool, but weird),
Madison, San Francisco.  Forgive me if I missed a few thousand
places.

* Hitch-Hikers: 50% of them are normal kids that are living the
Kerouac/Carroll fantasy.  The other 50% are transients, bums, and
murderers (murderers being about 5%).  Therefore there's no telling
what may happen.

* Scammers: These are the people that come up to your car at a rest
stop and tell you some sad story about how their car broke down and
all they need is 7 bucks to fix the transmission.  Its your call on
this one.

* Tricksters:  These are the people that point to your car tires
implying that something is wrong with them, thus convincing them to
stop.  I used to be a trickster.  Hey, we're all tricksters...No
damage done, and its funny too...One trip me and a friend got 40
people to pull over.  NOTE: Don't try this with semi's, they'll
just call ahead and have you killed.  And yes, I disclaim all
responsibility.

* Time Zone changing: This is great.  When you hit a time zone
sign, pull over and jump on either side of the sign.  Wait, is it
3pm or 4pm?  Man, the road is a lonely place, you just wait and
see.  You'll be playing that license plate game before long.

* Take pictures and if possible, VIDEO.  Film it all.  Why the hell
not?  Don't forget the cassette recorder either.  Send me copies of
everything, you owe me!! (ok, don't then..)

* Super tip for Summer travel.  If you didn't already know, if your
car overheats you can turn on the heater (you heard me) and it will
lower the temperature.  No really, its true..

* It may sound sick, but if some furry mammal should choose to
cross your path (i'm talking rabbits, not cows), don't risk
crashing your car, run the thing over.  Think of it this way, the
animal is actually suicidal.  More where that came from. 
With cows, I recommend swerving.  

* Flashing Headlights: This means two things.  1) "Get the fuck out
of my way, i'm trying to speed here!" This occurs from cars behind
you (would've never guessed) and 2) "There's coppers ahead, slow
down!" which comes from oncoming traffic.  You may respond by
flashing your brights in acceptance, or by casually swerving into
the other cars lane and crashing head-on with him/her.  No worry,
the cops are near.

* If you're ever in San Luis Obispo (CA), near the onramp of the
101, look on the streetlight pole and read what it says.  Hint: Its
right near a Denny's and a Mobil gas station.

* Points of serious interest: Stuckey's, South of the Border, Dairy
Queen RESTAURANTS, places that sell 72 oz steaks (try Texas), and
the infamous cigarette warehouses in North Carolina.  Kearny,
Nebraska (off of the 80) will trip your shit, guaranteed.  Make
sure to visit the go-kart/bowling alley/arcade/batting
cage/everything-under-the-fucking-sun amusement park.

                                   **
I hope this was informative to you.  This was the result of many
trips across and around the country.  It may not hurt to print this
out and keep it handy when travelling.  It COULD come in useful.
                                   **
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